Ditto on 's post

[Guest guest]

, you writer you, you can always be counted on to put

what I'm thinking into perfect succint words.

When I posed on the Ottawa list that the scale had shown 205

from a low of 195, I was posting from a state of absolute

terror. It isn't that I've gained 10 lbs or that I'm at 205.

When I had surgery, I said I'd be happy at 220 and I meant it!

It was 10 lbs lead to 20 lbs leads to 40 lbs and before I know

it, I'm right back where I started.

At 18 months out, I do not trust my body to maintain this weight.

I live in terror of returning to 340 lbs and not being able to

hike, ski, scuba dive, or run up every flight of stairs just

because I can. Those 10 lbs, as far as I was concerned, were

just the beginning of the end.

It lead to an interesting question for me: How far am I willing

to go to maintain my weight? If it comes down to eating 1000

calories a day and working out for 2 hours a day, will I do it?

You know, I might. Goddess help me never have to do it, but

if THAT'S the price I have to pay for this new found life, I might

just sign right up.

As it is, I've been at the gym every day for an hour concentrating

mostly on muscle building and have been eating 1500 calories a

day including 3 protein shakes, and the scale which DID kindly return

195 rather promptly hasn't budged a pound since then. Eight solid

weeks and not a single solitary pound. Oh well I'm enjoying

myself, anyway.

So, for the posters who post on regain, I feel your terror because

it's my daily terror. You're living my worst nightmare. And, 10

lbs caused a surefire panic in me, I understand and acknowledge

that panic.

On the size thread, 195, 5'7 " and a size 14. When I told some

people at work that I weighed 195, they didn't believe me.

There's muscle under there, I tell ya!

Alisa