FOUR YEARS Ago Yesterday....

[Guest guest]

.....a day that will live in infamy!

Roux n' Y with a gallbladder-rippenectomy by Waits, MD here in

Atlanta. I remember going into surgery with double vision and

comments about " gaaaaa....I remember this stuff back at a Zappa

concert....trails man.....zzzzzzzzzzzz " and upon

wakening; " geeeezuswhatdahellwasIthinking?!! Owwwwwww...and what's

with this tube up my nose? More importantly WHO put this tube down

here where tubes shouldn't be!! " Forty Five minutes after coming to,

the phone in my room is ringing....it's from a young lady that was

considering having the surgery and most likely had spent much too

much time on one of the other pre-surgery email list groups, because

she was CRAZY to be calling me while I'm holding my innards together!

That first night was pretty much uneventful. Well, if you call

getting a nurse to come in to allow... " Mr. Dan, it's time for your

walk. " My first response would have been... " are you the gal that

called this morning...because if you think I'm moving from this

supine position...you're CRAZY TOO!! " As it was...it was " yes mam, I

understand that if I get up and walk, the Doc will tell you guys to

take this tube out of my nose. "

MOON OVER ATLANTA.

That was me...walking down the halls of Northside Hospital. One hand

on the IV Cart, one hand across my middle holding my stuffing in...my

butt exposed to the world. Screw 'em...sue me. If you can't take

it...don't look; if you can, leave me alone right now. " But, I was

amazed to be able to negotiate the halls at least 3 times that first

24 hours; there was a rhyme to their reasoning and it was either to

get a look at my bottom or to uphold the tradition of not acquiring

pneumonia from settling in the bed too long.

I was very fortunate to have been allowed the Bariatric Bed. It did

it all...weight, TV remote, light control and when it came to getting

up for my walk...damn thing stood me up almost vertically and stayed

that way until I got back. Learning to get out of bed at home was a

completely different tune...those newly carved up muscles gave me the

reminder of the event no matter how much the pain meds helped to put

me to sleep.

I found out that there are your good nurses and then there are your

EVIL nurses. Caregiving is not an easy task...multiplied by the

number of patients and the variety of ills and woes. I was extremely

happy to have Ed Waits and his wife as the presiding surgeon to

that hospital in which the names struck fear into the hearts of the

nee'r do well nurse that no longer works there.

YELLOW BRICK ROAD is the name of the little sheet of paper as a

guideline to recovery and diet restrictions...both in content and

quantity and not even considered for the few weeks of post op. I

stayed on that path for a couple of years...ventured a few places

that I shouldn't have been and keep falling back into line. Kept a

lot of promises and broke a ton of bad habits in this length of time;

yet, it's pretty easy to become acclimated to the sensations of

dumping, the feelings of fullness and learn to accept some of the

consequences as normal...I fully believe this is the path to failure

for those that wonder what has gone wrong. Making up personal rules

is vital...the easiest being, if the amount on your plate is bigger

than the base of your thumb...take your fork and separate that

amount; eat it and then discard the rest. Breads? Nope. Cokes and

carbonated? Nope (hey...that's YOU VitaLass!!) Snacks? Roll up a

piece of Boars Head deli and take in your protein. Exercise? One of

the most important things to be had to get where you want.

Anyhow...surviving the surgery and the first few months was a major

event in my life. My first day driving was a bit ticklish as it took

me forever to learn to re-fold into the car seats; seat belts and

then bouncing around. That first over-stuff'ed feeling...too many

mashed potatoes...was almost a 911 experience; I was just about ready

to call the ambulance...there are just some things that won't move as

fast as others. I survived just like the rest of y'all and it really

is a great anniversary to share with those that have been there and

back. There have been a lot of awakenings and discoveries physcially

and morally since that time and as I hit the half century mark this

April...I can look at some pretty gruesome 40 year birthday photos

and wonder about...not what sort of things and events I missed prior

to 10.13.98...but what else can I do, now.

Allright ya bunch of losers (literally!!)...live it up! This is just

waaaaaay toooooo coooool!!

Dan

rny10.13.98

EdWaits,MD-Atlanta