Re: I can't suppress this feeling. . . .

[Guest guest]

>> I have been really wanting sex lately (horny) and I  have been daydreaming

about a guy here in town.

It's pretty overwhelming when the feelings we have had buried for so long start

to assert themselves! I'm glad you spoke up.

First, I think that what you are going through is pretty normal. You have been

hiding behind a wall of fat for a long time. Now that you are starting to

emerge, the feelings that have been buried along with you are starting to wake

up also. This is not a bad thing.

Also, remember that feelings and thoughts are not the same as actions. It's

normal to wonder " what if... " especially when we are changing so fast we hardly

recognize ourselves. It's important to accept your feelings and not try to fight

them or bury them anew. However, that doesn't mean you have to act on them. That

part is the biggie!

You may in fact some day make a change in your marriage, but that is something

you should think long and hard about. It sounds like you and your spouse might

benefit from some counseling. Not so much to deal with the new feelings that are

happening to you (though you might want to address those in counseling for

yourself sometime), but more to deal with what is NOT happening between you. It

sounds like he has some feelings (threatened? resentful? scared?) about your

weight loss that need to be articulated. He may not himself know exactly what

they are at this point --- just that he is uncomfortable.

Right now, try not to mix up the two things that are going on. Experience the

new and exciting longings that you have. Fantasize if you want to. But don't act

on them now. Get used to them.

Try to address the issues in your marriage apart from the new feelings. They

seem to be connected, but they need to be approached separately. It's too

confusing otherwise.

Good luck to you.

hugs,

Ann