3 years today

[Guest guest]

Dear Ones,

This seems to be a big anniversary day!

I want to take a moment to mark this anniversary day for me. Many of us write

every year about what the changes have meant to us. I don't know if I have

anything new to say, but I feel like saying something.

While I technically started out as a " lightweight " with " only " 100ish pounds

to lose, I was in misery all the time. My small-boned frame could not support

the weight that I had put on year after year, diet after diet. I crawled to

the bathroom every morning because my heels, ankles and knees hurt too much

for me to be able to stand right away. But when I hobbled down that hallway

into surgery for my RNY, it was literally the last time I experienced that

kind of pain. My arthritis and plantar fascitis improved immediately. I have

a few flareups now and then, but nothing like what I experienced before.

Today I worry about whether I need a 4, a 6, or an 8 (for the boobs!) instead

of whether the 24s will be too snug. Today I have the best body I have ever

had in my life. I'm not young but I look better than I did when I was 25,

even though I was thinnish then. I know this because there is a friend here

who knew me then -- I was his youth pastor in my first year out of seminary.

He said to me the other day " I was in love with you when I was 13 but I had

no idea how incredible you would be when we grew up. " (He's now 41. I'll be

53 on a few days. My dh doesn't mind other people thinking I am really

something!!)

Here are a few moments from the past three years that I will remember always:

* The day I realized (about 4 months postop)

that I had no pain at all, anywhere.

* The day (about 6 months postop) I asked my doctor to look at my wrist

because I was sure there was something terribly wrong with it. She said

" That's your wristbone. "

* The day my son put his arms all the way around me for the first time.

* The day I cried my eyes out in the dressing room at the department store

because I tried on a pair of size 8 pants and they fit.

* The day (about 18 months postop) I went to my brother's retirement

party - he hadn't seen me for a year - and he said " I haven't met you yet. My

name is . "

* The day I put on a hot pink bikini to go to the neighborhood pool and

smiled like a goon the whole time just because it made me happy and I didn't

give a rip what anybody thought.

In honor of this day, I posted a scary Before picture in my Files section.

It's what I really looked like in July of 1999!

Thank you all for taking this journey with me.

love

Ann