RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support-Bev etc

[Guest guest]

Bev-Thanks for the encouragement that the mental problems get better after explant. I am absolutely exhausted and still not moved in yet in our new place.

Yes, the lies with porn addiction is as painful as the addiction. I do know that the charges on the credit card for sexual things stopped when we started back to church 3 yrs ago. And, me too, during this really bad time when my husband was so lost with sexual sins I was also to tell you the truth. His progressed though to 4 visits to well maybe I shouldn't get too graphic. He said after the last time he threw up and that was it and we were really active with good positive things since then. But still, when I saw the credit card statement (he said he thinks he purposely didn't care I might see them on there because he knew he needed help subconsciously) he still lied in a panic a few nights ago, denying they were legitimate. I am so torn and just sick of fighting everything all the time. I go from being tortured with images of what happened with him and other women and thinking that how can I lose my 17 yr marriage and daughters dad over a time we were both making horrible decisions. Still, he said he wants to spend the rest of his life doing penance and being a servant to us, and go through addiction treatment. I'm sorry you went through that. Is that why you and that guy broke up? I'm kinda just taking this a day at a time. If I was my normal self not sick from the implants, I'd probably be able to handle supporting Hope and I but I am just so weak and literally confused. Yep the darkest days, just when I think I will see some light they seem to get darker.

Thanks- from Az

From: moodynomad@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 18:10:54 +0000Subject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

To the s - It never ceases to amaze me what women have to endure.....and then on top of it, implant illness. These are trying times and probably some of the darkest days. Just touching on the absolute brain dead moments, these def get better and go away after explant. I heard from others, and now am experiencing it myself. I was a total zombie- couldn't even hear what people were saying to me either and was frustrated that I frankly didn't care much about AnyThing. The darkness consumes you, I know. I couldn't even bear to watch tv. And that feeling of underlying doom....that's usually linked to stressed adrenals. I'm still getting mine under control and i'm 5 months post explant...This ALL does get better as much as you feel like each day is painfully long (at least that's how i felt). I hope you get them out soon so you can be on your way to health. I can now read, think clearly and retain info again. There are moments of brain fog, but nothing like those total scary moments...

And as for your husband wanting you to go to a mental place??? I am SO sorry. I had a meltdown when my husband made me go back to seeing medical dr's who couldn't do a thing for me...I can't imagine if he'd told me i needed to be sent away....that makes me sad for you. The best thing you can do, is focus on yourself, and your body, and just mentally know you can do this, regardless of what people think you have.. It makes me sick that we have to be doubted because of cover ups and greed, but we just need to stay focused and take care of our toxic bodies.

As for the porn addiction- , I was with a guy for 2 yrs with that problem. That's actually when I got them put in *dumb*...maybe somewhere underlying thinking that would help the problem? not sure, but what i do know is, he turned to church, the Lord, everything....but with a true addict, sometimes it backfires and creates more lies and deceit. That was my horrid experience... I pray you have success and mending for you and for your daughter's sake. It can destroy a family, as i'm sure it has yours.

much love to all of you today- sending healing

~Bev ----- Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

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