wonderful day!

May 25, 2002

I am having the most wonderful day. Comparitively.

I still ache

am constipated

have headache

coat hanger pain

mouth hurts

walk like a crustacean

muscle pains and twitches

but,

vertigo - gone

tinnitus - barely there

brain fogg - mostly gone - longer periods of focus

I watched a movie yesterday night and noticed that I was actually enjoying

the music, I even started singing - why? Because the tinnitus was less

pronounced, as was the pain, I was relaxed

I slept like a ton of bricks, briefly awoke when the phone rang (mother

telling me she could not meet me) I went back to sleep - untill 1 pm.

I got things done (dishes, emails)

I turned the TV off (almost always on because I need the noice to block the

ringing in my ears to 'bearable')

I listened to music (Bach violin concertos, Rachmaninoff's 2nd piano

concerto etc.)

I could tolerate silence for more than a minute

I can stand on my balcony look over and not get motion-sick

No gut-crunching belly spasms

So you bet, I took the Buscopan again tonight, there is nothing bad about

feeling good. Apparently it is also available in a patch.

Also related to Atrophen, and Bella Donna (same family as the potato and

tomato plant - nighshades). It has been around a long time so side effects

etc. are by now well understood. I like that in a drug. I did take Bella

Donna in my teens to control some of my seizures before being switched to

Dilantin Phenobarbitol.

Has no one else tried this? I have no other explanation for why I am

feeling so well. If L-dopa was so much better than Hyocsine for

Parkinsons, and L-dopa does not work well on MSA, then is it not possible

that Hyocsine might be just the thing for some of out symptoms -

incidentally I am also smoking a lot less. Just possibly I have less OH as

well - sometimes hard to tell how much is vertigo and how much is OH.

Anyhoo, thought you might want to know, and possibly bring it up with your

own doctors.

aletta mes

vancouver, bc Canada

web: http://aletta.0catch.com

May 26, 2002

Aletta,

I have read your emails or messages as I read them on my computer. We

all learn how to handle things in our own ways. We learn to deal with

our life experiences and that is what makes us who we are today. Some

good, some bad but it is us. None of us are perfect and not

everything in our life was perfect. I think we all have skeletons in

our closets whether we want to admit to them or not. No one is any

better than anyone else. I understand what you said about beautiful

women. I am not one of them on the outside now (but I believe myself

to be a beautiful woman on the inside) but I was. Then again beauty

is in the eye of the beholder. You made points that I agree with that

you learn to have to learn to live with it and you go on. If you

don't they would have won and you can't let them. I also believe that

we are all sinners and have come short of the glory of God but that

if we accept the Lord as our personal Savior and believe that he died

on the cross to save us from our sins that we will go to heaven one

day. That is why I am not afraid of death. I know that the Lord is

preparing a place for me to live which will be alot better than life

on this earth. I will not have anymore sorrow, pain, or suffering. I

do not want to suffer insufferable pain before I die. When someone

tells me that so and so didn't suffer they died in their sleep, I say

that is wonderful. They look at me strange but why wouldnt it be

wonderful not to have suffered before they died? That is the way I

want to die. None of us know how long we have to live. We have been

handed a terminal death sentence but we still don't know how long we

have to live. The worst thing for me is knowing that I am losing my

memory very fast no matter how hard I have been trying to hold on to

it. I have severe pain when I think to hard and it aggrivates me. I

use to be very smart. Well, I have to stop this for now. I have a

journal that I write in and let go alot of things. My brain is

hurting real bad again. I say brain because it isn't like a headache.

It is like someone is pressing on my brain and causing it pain in

certain areas. It is strange I know but it's there. Believe or not.

Aletta, I remember now what I wanted to know. What is that B word

that you are taking again and what is it for. Man I hate this pain. I

just want all of you to know that I do respect you, I do love you, I

do pray for you. We all have the right to tell our experiences about

doctors, our illness, whatever. We are suppose to be here to support

each other and that is what I hope I do and I know that you do also.

God bless,

Belinda

> I am having the most wonderful day. Comparitively.

> I still ache

> am constipated

> have headache

> coat hanger pain

> mouth hurts

> walk like a crustacean

> muscle pains and twitches

>

> but,

> vertigo - gone

> tinnitus - barely there

> brain fogg - mostly gone - longer periods of focus

>

> I watched a movie yesterday night and noticed that I was actually

enjoying

> the music, I even started singing - why? Because the tinnitus was

less

> pronounced, as was the pain, I was relaxed

> I slept like a ton of bricks, briefly awoke when the phone rang

(mother

> telling me she could not meet me) I went back to sleep - untill 1

pm.

> I got things done (dishes, emails)

> I turned the TV off (almost always on because I need the noice to

block the

> ringing in my ears to 'bearable')

> I listened to music (Bach violin concertos, Rachmaninoff's 2nd

piano

> concerto etc.)

> I could tolerate silence for more than a minute

> I can stand on my balcony look over and not get motion-sick

> No gut-crunching belly spasms

>

> So you bet, I took the Buscopan again tonight, there is nothing bad

about

> feeling good. Apparently it is also available in a patch.

>

> Also related to Atrophen, and Bella Donna (same family as the

potato and

> tomato plant - nighshades). It has been around a long time so side

effects

> etc. are by now well understood. I like that in a drug. I did

take Bella

> Donna in my teens to control some of my seizures before being

switched to

> Dilantin Phenobarbitol.

>

> Has no one else tried this? I have no other explanation for why I

am

> feeling so well. If L-dopa was so much better than Hyocsine for

> Parkinsons, and L-dopa does not work well on MSA, then is it not

possible

> that Hyocsine might be just the thing for some of out symptoms -

> incidentally I am also smoking a lot less. Just possibly I have

less OH as

> well - sometimes hard to tell how much is vertigo and how much is

OH.

>

> Anyhoo, thought you might want to know, and possibly bring it up

with your

> own doctors.

>

> aletta mes

> vancouver, bc Canada

> web: http://aletta.0catch.com

May 26, 2002

It's Buscopan also sold as Hyocsine. It has worn off

now, I can feel the vertigo again. It's not so much that it gives

me less pain, but my balance is better, my hearing is better, my ability

to focus is better. I had missed being able to hear music

accurately, or tolerate quiet, that horrible screaming sound in my ears

was subdued to the point I could enjoy music while listening to

Beethoven's " Choral Fantasy' I was so overwhelmed I managed a

small tear in one eye.

I feel no need to think beyond living, that is quite enough.

At Sunday 5/26/02 02:51 AM, you wrote:

Aletta,

I have read your emails or messages as I read them on my computer. We

all learn how to handle things in our own ways. We learn to deal with

our life experiences and that is what makes us who we are today. Some

good, some bad but it is us. None of us are perfect and not

aletta mes

vancouver, bc Canada

web:

http://aletta.0catch.com

May 26, 2002

It's Buscopan also sold as Hyocsine. It has worn off

now, I can feel the vertigo again. It's not so much that it gives

me less pain, but my balance is better, my hearing is better, my ability

to focus is better. I had missed being able to hear music

accurately, or tolerate quiet, that horrible screaming sound in my ears

was subdued to the point I could enjoy music while listening to

Beethoven's " Choral Fantasy' I was so overwhelmed I managed a

small tear in one eye.

I feel no need to think beyond living, that is quite enough.

At Sunday 5/26/02 02:51 AM, you wrote:

Aletta,

I have read your emails or messages as I read them on my computer. We

all learn how to handle things in our own ways. We learn to deal with

our life experiences and that is what makes us who we are today. Some

good, some bad but it is us. None of us are perfect and not

aletta mes

vancouver, bc Canada

web:

http://aletta.0catch.com

May 26, 2002

That is wonderful that you found something to help you. I know that

you might be sleeping now we had a long night last night. I was up

most of the night also. I think I signed off right before you did. I

will probably have alot of them this summer being it will be the only

time I will be probably be alone. My oldest son and his ready made

family are moving in with us this coming week. His new wife has 2

boys 10 and 5. They are moving in so they can save enough money to

buy them a place to live. Everything is so expensive and money is so

tight now. The girl he married is a wonderful girl. She is 7 yrs

older than him but I think she might be the right thing for him. He

is only 23 and had been divorced already. He married a girl who

married him out of need because she was 16 yrs old and needed

someplace to stay. Her mother was living from man to man and didn't

want her anymore. My son was gullible and married her. It wasnt too

long before she was in another man's bed. She came back to him but it

didn't work anymore even though they tried. Life isn't a bed a roses

but somehow we have to go on. It isn't always easy. His new wife

(will be friday May 31st) is so good to me also. She has cleaned and

cooked for me and has taken me to drs appts. I am thankful for her

also. It will be hard having another family in the house but we will

make it work. It will hopefully help us financially since I can no

longer work and can't get disability because I didn't pay in for the

last 14 yrs. I worked for myself and never thought I would be

disabled. Last year at this time I was in ton, S.C. at a state

park. We stayed in a lovely cabin and rode bikes, walked all over

ton several times, went crabbing and I watched the kids climb

the wall. That was scary, LOL We had such a lovely time. Now I can

barely talk, walk, (forget bike riding, clean house, etc. Life goes

on... Hope you all have a good day and hope to see you all in chat.

Love and gentle hugs to all,

Belinda

> >Aletta,

> >I have read your emails or messages as I read them on my computer.

We

> >all learn how to handle things in our own ways. We learn to deal

with

> >our life experiences and that is what makes us who we are today.

Some

> >good, some bad but it is us. None of us are perfect and not

>

> aletta mes

> vancouver, bc Canada

> web: http://aletta.0catch.com

May 26, 2002