I am sorry for myself today.

May 26, 2002

As the subject says, today is not a good day. When I look back to this

time last year everying was so good. Nothing could hold us back as a

family.

NOW. was dx with MSA last 0ctober, as as you may recall he is not

dealing at all well with the situation and is very depressed and just sits

in his chair all day, crying alot. Nothing we can do or suggest can lift

him. He is on anti depressants and we have a psychiatrist to help but

nothing seems to get through to him. He was always a strong character and

it is so hard to see him this way.

Our wonderful son (28) split from his partner in January, they have

a lovely home which he rebuilt, and a gorgeous son

Jack who is 4. found the breakup so painful that he strated to

drink heavily, He is now in a terrible mess. and twice in the last 3

weeks he has tried to take his life. He is now in a hospital place of

safety where they are going to help his severe depression and as there is

no places available in a detox centre (they are few here) for about 3

months they are going to

try and detiox him in the hospital. If he was one of life's b******s it

would be so easy to let him get on and self destruct but

he is a lovely guy who is worth saving.

My daughter was doing so well at University and they could see great

things for her, but now with her dad and her brother

in trouble her work has suffered so badly that her future now does not look

so good.

These are the reasons I feel sorry for myself today. I cannot belive our

wonderful life has changed so much for the worse.

We have great support from our doctor, but at the end of the day WE have to

face these battles as a family. Most day I am ok I can cope (with help of

a little pill - which just lifts my anxiety) but today I am not so good.

Thank you for 'listening'

JILL

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