Flagging good girl

[Guest guest]

Good morning cohorts,

OK, now I'm starting to get bummed. Not obsessive, manic or fried.

I guess I'm feeling weighted down by the monotony of being a " good

girl " with no discernable results.

My plateau is stretching out to the third week now. In fact, I am 2

pounds up. I am still going to the gym and have a good physical

program. My eating, for the most part, has been good, but I've been

having problems munching for the past two days. I know that's a sign

of flagging motivation.

I consider myself moderately patient with reasonable expectations,

but I admit, I do seem to need a least a small reward for what seems

like such a big expenditure of effort.

I woke up yesterday with a feeling of depression...the thoughts

flitting across my mind " what if I'm stuck at 250?', " why does

everyone else have such good results? " " have I failed? " " why is my

food capacity so much larger than others? " " why is it just as hard

to watch food intake, calories, portions, and to exercise at the same

intense level as pre-op? " " what difference did the surgery make

anyway?' " WILL I ALWAYS BE FAT? "

This is really a struggle. My old behaviors are trying to take over

durring my periods of weakness. I have to literally give myself

positive pep talks to drive the doubts out of my head.

Luckily I go to a 6am support group followed by a workout at the

gym. That seems to release the stress.

And being " good " IS stressful!!! It's so difficult to be aware all

of the time, to be vigilant. My habits are not entrenched nearly

enough for me to relax and go on auto pilot. ( " will this ever get

easier? " )

Still, late in the day is getting hard for me again and I'm really

having to steel my resolve.

HALT Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. I need to remind myslef of that

when I feel like " relaxing " with a cookie.

All in all, things are going very well. I don't expect every day to

be rosy. I just have to keep on and and have faith that hard work

will eventually be rewarded.

Well, off to the gym.. Time to get those endorphins pumping and wash

away my funk.

Happy day, all.

Vicki A

P.S. I got the acidophilus even though I hadn't taken antibiotics.

Also got some over the counter anti-diarhea and will take the 2

pronged approach starting this morning.

A trainer at the gym sells Optimum Nutrition whey protein and is

bringing a sample to me this morning. Maybe, as some of you have

suggested, the protein will jump start me.

SEE!!! I listen to you guys!!!