Re: DH Struggling To Keep Up!

[Guest guest]

,

This is such an itneresting topic. If it's OK with you, I'd like to share your

post with my hubby, in the hopes that it would get him to talk about his

feelings. I think you're right, that our changes are so huge that it has to

have an impact on the dynamics of the whole family. I think it's great that

your husband was able to talk about it.

Helene

>

>

> Date: 2002/07/29 Mon AM 11:09:44 CDT

> To: Graduate-OSSG , wlsandlove

> Subject: DH Struggling To Keep Up!

>

> Something that has just recently come up between Matt & I-

> I hadn't realized the full impact of my weight loss on him.

> He says he has watched me make a complete transition in not

> only physical shape but in how I act and react. It's a GOOD

> change mind you, one that has seen me go from extremely

> insecure, jealous, suspicious, judgemental,

> holier-than-thou to very easy going, secure with my body

> and my self-worth, open and trusting, and much more relaxed

> in my dealings with others.

>

> He started getting kind of clingy recently...reminded me of

> myself before surgery! I got kinda bugged over it and asked

> what the deal was. He apologized for it and asked me to be

> patient with him. He said all of a sudden he's feeling a

> little left behind because I've changed so radically and

> he's still the same ol' Matt. He's kind of in the middle of

> my two extremes you could say. He says he wants to change

> as well...to catch up to me but that because he hasn't had

> any physical change to bring about such a change that it's

> a real struggle for him.

>

> I'm so glad he shared this with me so I can understand his

> recent actions. But I don't have a clue as to how to help

> him! All I know about my changes is that when I got my

> second chance at life, I determined that things were going

> to be different. Life is too short to waste time and

> emotional energy on negative thinking and pettiness. As set

> as I was in my ways, the change came about very quickly and

> easily for me! And letting go of all that garbage has been

> so liberating and I can't iamgine ever going back to the

> old me again.

>

> So my question for those of you in the know on

> psychological issues is how does a person change their

> general attitude and outlook when there is no

> " life-changing " event to set those wheels in motion?

>

>

>

> =====

> A. in Indy

> SRVG 4-11-00

> Dr. Huse St. 's/Carmel,IN

> Pre-Op: 278 lbs. BMI 47 *As of 4-23-02: 150 lbs. BMI 25.5*

> Breast Reduction & Abdominoplasty 4-4-02 Dr. Brad Thurston

>

> ~see me at

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Auch952842167

>

> __________________________________________________

>