Plastic Surgery

[Guest guest]

I've been pretty forthcoming on these lists with my journey, but have,

lately, kinda clammed up while I tried to decide whether to have plastic

surgery or not. I think I had a lot of issues with the whole plastic surgery

thing. Part of me felt I should be grateful for where I got to and not

expect more. I also believed that it was one thing to risk life and limb for

health, another for vanity. In addition, there was this whole notion that my

body was incredible as compared to where it once was and people who saw

otherwise were just completely taken in by society's love for everything

thin!

In the end, after all the internal debates, I decided that I wanted to look

better than I do now. I decided that the way I look in clothes is okay, but

without clothes I felt I did not look " normal, " but rather due to excess skin

looked somewhat deformed in certain places. Deformed to me is something

totally different from simply not slender. For example, my arms are big but

they don't look odd, just bigger than most. Same with my calves or face.

The part that looks, in my mind, deformed, is the area of my inner thighs,

butt, back, and tummy. There are puckers and sags, and hanging skin, and

folds, and indentations. You look at it from every which angle and you

realize something ain't quite right. Covered with clothes it just looks like

I could lost some more weight; but with little clothes (at the gym, the

beach), it looks like a problem beyond cutting back on the carbs.

The surgery is set for 9/23. It will be done at Bayview by Dr.

Shermack. I have taken 2 weeks off and plan to spend the next 2 weeks after

that doing light work in the office. It involves a tummy tuck, lower back

lift, butt lift, and thigh lift. My insurance company (Aetna HMO) is paying

for the thigh lift and I am kicking in $5,000. If I am satisfied with the

results, I will, most likely, do a breast lift procedure in 6 months.

I just found out that when they do this surgery the result will be no more

tummy. I thought they made you smaller all around (that your waist got

smaller). I did not understand that your actual tummy went away. I am

stunned by this discovery as I could never have imagined being on the cusp of

something that would take this big mound away. It's never been away. It's

always been a sort of hill.

se

Baltimore, MD

Open RNY 11/22/99, Dr. Sweet, Reading, PA

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=L951569336 " >http:\

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11/22/99 324, BMI 51

12/6/99 301, BMI 47

1/27/00 280, BMI 44

2/22/00 270, BMI 42

3/16/00 262, BMI 41

5/31/00 244, BMI 38 (no longer extremely obese... just plain obese)

7/22/00 224, BMI 35

9/23/00 220, BMI 34 (and still obese)

10/16/00 216, BMI 34

11/7/00 210, BMI 33 (65 pounds from goal!!!)

5/8/01 196, BMI 31 (new goal 157; I am 5'7 " that would give me a BMI

of 24.6; 39 pounds to go)

9/13/01 196, BMI 31 (Stuck!)

1/24/02 190, BMI 29.7 (slightly overweight!! have lost 80.2% of my

excess weight)

4/2/02 200, ARGH! Very frightening moment. Hopefully I can lose back

down to 190 quickly!

4/28/02 201 (started a starch-free, 4 hours a week of exercise

program...weighed in at the gym)