Friends who get weird

[Guest guest]

<< I can generally

laugh at these instances but it always dismays me.

How can a woman treat another woman with such

disrespect? What is missing in some women who seem to

be determined to disrupt or have no regard for another

woman's relationship? I just don't get it.>>>>>>>>>>>

Got it. Seen it alot. The trolling woman (or man). It is neediness that has

no home to go home to. Loss of instinct in the hunt...About who is prey and

who isn't. Some, until they know better, might portray disrespect for

families/committed couples/couples, because often they do not have a family

they are close to and nourish and protect. (Am not talking about simple

one-time-flirting-and-then-move-on, here.)

This behavior you are describing doesn't sound the same as innocent joking

around for a bar tip either.

Dang, Judy, it must run in us redheads from Tejas roots, my DH will tell a

woman to back off if she tags him wrong, but mainly he gets aggravated when

others start actin' too cute around ceep. Recently a guy asked right in front

if my husband if I would like to go to lunch with him? And my DH leaned over

and said to the poor man, " How would you like punch instead of lunch? " Geez.

I think/hope I am more tolerant ...But, do have my moments ...once a woman

waitperson who was serving our entire family, grandchildren, babies, parents,

grandparents, GREAT grandparents for some reason kept touching my husband.

Head, shoulder, chest, arm, ear, dang! The whole family was ready to lynch

her, I think for intruding into our family with her own mysterious needs.

Walked over to her station and mentioned I knew she was not consciously doing

this, but to please not touch any person at our table, that we are a family,

and this is disturbing to the family, and we would like just like to have our

privacy if that was all right. She did stop. And when close to her, I saw

that she seemed to be strung out on something--her eyes didn't focus right--

so that may have played a part too.

Used to wait tables (did bartend once too, but kept getting too many drink

recipes all mixed up, How do you like that Pink Screwdriver? How's that Marvy

ball-banger?) a thousand years ago, and don't you think you develop a second

sense about what each customer is wanting in terms of interaction? But for

some waitstaff, this sense seems really, really broken, hey.

A couple years ago we were at a fair where my husband was showing some of his

crafts, and this one lady kept laughing (at nothing) and falling into his

body with her body as though she was weak from laughing. After the second

time, I just asked her to come look at something " over here " with me, and as

we stepped away I mentioned that we are family people and prefer to keep body

space private, and to please indulge us. She was shocked and embarrassed, and

I told her not to be, and let her go.

I am not sure how everyone is supposed to meet everyone else's needs for

attention and flirtation and lifting their depressions by giving them jolts

and etc. (oh boy what a job) but I do know that different " communities " have

different " standards " about what goes and what doesn't, and you have to be

able to 'read the fine print.' I know that the tighter the familial ties with

children especially, the more many adults are watchful for disturbances of

any kind that might interfere with people's abilities to be oriented toward

the family.

Now, having said all that, about bein' upright and proper' and all, I want

you to know that I have some beautiful new hussy-girl clothes. Black ruffled

sheer babydolls to wear tonight; long red satin ribbon ties at the hips and

shoulders. Tonight is 'family night,' just between the two of us.

evil ceep made me write that last part

[Guest guest]

This is a really good topic and I'm glad to see it

being discussed. I think redefining your relationship

with acquaintances is part of your own personal

journey back from obesity. I've lost several

acquaintances along the way because they could not

handle the threat of the new me. These were single

women, not women protecting their husbands. I learned

to move on and not get bogged down in other women's

negative insecurity. I'm the same me as ever, perhaps

just a little more confident. I'm not a flirt and I

have no interest in other women's men.

This leads me to another similar topic. Women's place

in society has been evolving for decades. We've had

to stand up to a more male dominated structure in our

society to gain the vote and equal employment

opportunities. You would think there would be more

respect amongst ourselves. This open disrespect may

be the underlying cause of many women's insecurities

with a new slimmer friend. They just may have

experienced the " flirting woman type " so many times

before that they are suspicious of any new threatening

change in the dynamics of your friendship. I

experience this a lot when out with my DH. He is just

the type of man that naturally attracts women's

attention. I can handle that, I am proud of him. And

it's easier for me to deal with it because he is good

at ignoring that type of attention. But some women

don't accept that well and become downright blatant

with their efforts. It's certainly been a growing

experience for me in my efforts to strengthen my own

self confidence. DH and I went out to play a little

shuffleboard Saturday night at a new pub our friends

just opened. I knew the young bartender was

attracted, it was pretty apparent right off. Even

though he had ignored her, she became so obvious

staring into his eyes across the bar that I finally

felt compelled to say something. Of course, being the

Texas bubbette that I am, I asked her if she had

something in her eye then proceeded to inform her she

would soon find my fist there if she didn't back off

and quit disrespecting me. DH does make every attempt

to discourage these situations, and when necessary

usually calls the woman on it himself, but does admit

he gets tickled when I get " riled " . I can generally

laugh at these instances but it always dismays me.

How can a woman treat another woman with such

disrespect? What is missing in some women who seem to

be determined to disrupt or have no regard for another

woman's relationship? I just don't get it.

=====

judy in austin

5'9 " of wild Texas redhead

SRVG 5/99 380 lbs

Ext. Abdominoplasty 5/00 180 lbs

Current 165-170 lbs

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

This is a really good topic and I'm glad to see it

being discussed. I think redefining your relationship

with acquaintances is part of your own personal

journey back from obesity. I've lost several

acquaintances along the way because they could not

handle the threat of the new me. These were single

women, not women protecting their husbands. I learned

to move on and not get bogged down in other women's

negative insecurity. I'm the same me as ever, perhaps

just a little more confident. I'm not a flirt and I

have no interest in other women's men.

This leads me to another similar topic. Women's place

in society has been evolving for decades. We've had

to stand up to a more male dominated structure in our

society to gain the vote and equal employment

opportunities. You would think there would be more

respect amongst ourselves. This open disrespect may

be the underlying cause of many women's insecurities

with a new slimmer friend. They just may have

experienced the " flirting woman type " so many times

before that they are suspicious of any new threatening

change in the dynamics of your friendship. I

experience this a lot when out with my DH. He is just

the type of man that naturally attracts women's

attention. I can handle that, I am proud of him. And

it's easier for me to deal with it because he is good

at ignoring that type of attention. But some women

don't accept that well and become downright blatant

with their efforts. It's certainly been a growing

experience for me in my efforts to strengthen my own

self confidence. DH and I went out to play a little

shuffleboard Saturday night at a new pub our friends

just opened. I knew the young bartender was

attracted, it was pretty apparent right off. Even

though he had ignored her, she became so obvious

staring into his eyes across the bar that I finally

felt compelled to say something. Of course, being the

Texas bubbette that I am, I asked her if she had

something in her eye then proceeded to inform her she

would soon find my fist there if she didn't back off

and quit disrespecting me. DH does make every attempt

to discourage these situations, and when necessary

usually calls the woman on it himself, but does admit

he gets tickled when I get " riled " . I can generally

laugh at these instances but it always dismays me.

How can a woman treat another woman with such

disrespect? What is missing in some women who seem to

be determined to disrupt or have no regard for another

woman's relationship? I just don't get it.

=====

judy in austin

5'9 " of wild Texas redhead

SRVG 5/99 380 lbs

Ext. Abdominoplasty 5/00 180 lbs

Current 165-170 lbs

__________________________________________________