Friends who get weird

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/23/02 9:35:10 AM, Graduate-OSSG writes:

<< Why are they so

threatened? Hopefully, they will come to understand that I am not on the

prowl just want to be healthy. >>

Because they are not in control of their husband's autonomic reactions to

attractive women, any more than I am in control of my autonomic reactions to

seeing a construction worker in full glory. If ANYONE's attention span

lingers just a second too long, people take notice, and it makes some people

nervous. This is understandable. It is human. In all directions, to wonder

why some women and men get so tense, and also to be tense about the 'new

women' or 'new men' in one's 'known territory.'

It doesn't matter what you see when you look at yourself, or what you know to

be your motives--others are reacting to their *projections* onto you--that

may or may not have anything to do with you.

Over the years, I have learned to try to deal with these matters by calling

most men and women I meet, " brother " and " sister, " in order to establish

clearly what I am thinking about THEM and how I expect THEM to treat me in

return. Brothers, for instance, can appreciate that their sisters are

attractive, can tease with them, laugh with them, be appreciated in return,

but know to take their interests in anything more than that, elsewhere. This

is not a perfect strategy, but it is far better than not having one at all

and letting everyone guess and feel they ought keep pushing the envelope to

figure out where I stand. I just see it as merciful to try...

However, there are always SOME who no matter what you call them, or how you

define what you want somewhat subtly, keep coming on all cute and darling

like whomever your fav celebrity squeeze is, and for that, depending on

interest, ...well, that is a whole other conversation.

love,

ceep