Guest guest Posted September 23, 2002 Report Share Posted September 23, 2002 In a message dated 9/23/02 9:35:10 AM, Graduate-OSSG writes: << Why are they so threatened? Hopefully, they will come to understand that I am not on the prowl just want to be healthy. >> Because they are not in control of their husband's autonomic reactions to attractive women, any more than I am in control of my autonomic reactions to seeing a construction worker in full glory. If ANYONE's attention span lingers just a second too long, people take notice, and it makes some people nervous. This is understandable. It is human. In all directions, to wonder why some women and men get so tense, and also to be tense about the 'new women' or 'new men' in one's 'known territory.' It doesn't matter what you see when you look at yourself, or what you know to be your motives--others are reacting to their *projections* onto you--that may or may not have anything to do with you. Over the years, I have learned to try to deal with these matters by calling most men and women I meet, " brother " and " sister, " in order to establish clearly what I am thinking about THEM and how I expect THEM to treat me in return. Brothers, for instance, can appreciate that their sisters are attractive, can tease with them, laugh with them, be appreciated in return, but know to take their interests in anything more than that, elsewhere. This is not a perfect strategy, but it is far better than not having one at all and letting everyone guess and feel they ought keep pushing the envelope to figure out where I stand. I just see it as merciful to try... However, there are always SOME who no matter what you call them, or how you define what you want somewhat subtly, keep coming on all cute and darling like whomever your fav celebrity squeeze is, and for that, depending on interest, ...well, that is a whole other conversation. love, ceep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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