I can't suppress this feeling (long) part two

[Guest guest]

part two

It doesn’t take much to fill a car with gasoline, but you DO HAVE TO GO TO

THE PUMP. Don’t make it complicated. it is actually easy. Remember when I

said taking care of your health is the way you ethically take care of your

family-- by doing so? It Is the same here; take care of your “spark of lifeâ€

so your family doesn’t have to hire a sandblaster to explode you out of “the

cave of the sofa.†You might not realize it, but men set the emotional tone

for the family. People imitate you. No kidding. I know you have had some

days when that would be an awful thought, imitate me? But you can change that

within minutes.

Choose something to do, so you can have a new story to tell, a new memory

made. And you will feel better… I can assure you. Then, do it again. And

again. You DON’T FILL A CAR UP WITH GAS ONLY ONCE, right? When you take care

of yourself, you don’t just do it once. Rememberm when you take care of

yourself, you take care of your family. You allow them to be happy and

renewed too. The real deal and the good deal is that you can do this with

hardly any effort. And guys are always looking for the most efficeint

short-cut, right? Okay, and when you do this new thing, good and clean and

with heart, it just makes you look like a hero, no matter which way you turn

it. Your family will be wowed. Men will be jealous. Dogs will obey. It s

guy-garunteed thing.

Okay, here is the last thing for now. If you were here with me, we

could talk all night and all day long, but our time together is short, so

I’ll just be moving along. So far, I have told you go take care of your

health and stop fooling around with it. And do something to fill yourself

again when you are running on empty. See, life is not supposed to just

“happen†to men, although a lot of men get waylaid and just start hoping

something better will happen if they just take no action. But if wishes are

horses, then that might account for why there is so much horsesh—in this

world already. Men temporarily forgot that men shape life, instead of just

waiting for life to shape them. There are way far enough blows and slings and

arrows that life gives out to everyone without waiting in line for them,

right? So you might have just misplaced the idea for a minute, but you are

THE ONE, you are THE MAN for this job of more lively life, the take charge

guy. All I have told you so far is imminently do-able, all within your

immediate reach. It don’t cost money, although you could if you wanted to.

you don’t have to have a diploma, or be a brain surgeon, just mercy —

foryour own heart and soul.

And so now here is this last item. I am assuming you have been reading and

reading cause you’re looking for the sex part. Okay, ta-dah! The time has

come. Let us assume you have been married for a reasonable amount of time. If

you have been married for more than 18 months, its probably time for

retooling the machinery, so to speak. There’s two parts to this, one is about

your mate and the other is about Mr. Happy. Don’t be looking at me like that,

you know who I mean by Mr. Happy. I have cleaned and diapered so many boy

babies over my lifetime --and enjoyed my own man over my adult lifetime, that

I have no qualms about discussing these matters.) Okay, about your mate

first. Then sex.

You probably remember when you were at first in love. Actually it was more

likey less love than it was dream, infatuation, hope, fear, lust,

expectation, projection and a whole lot of other things. God knows a man has

a hard time deciding sometimes between a really cool car and a really cool

and deep-hearted woman. But let’s just say you chose the woman over the

car--(that’s the right answer—even though on some days, I know you are

tempted to trade…..) . Okay so now you have her, and the drama of 24hour lust

and fascination is over. It is so over.

Now you love her for other reasons; she is kind to you sometimes, she helps

you with your life; she keeps you from wearing your war-torn briefs for

twenty-days non-stop; she insists you not keep the bathroom as though it is a

bubonic-plague experiment; she is the mother of your wonderful/terrible

monster-angelic children together; she is a good woman. Here’s the thing. A

man is asked to do a lot in life: to hold a job, to provide a reasonable

amount for the family, to keep himself clean; to take care of his health and

his psyche, to protect and help his family and community, to father his

children with as much foresight and love as he can, to watch over his primary

relationship.

Well big guy, here is the real deal about women. Don’t be trying to scam me,

I know even if you’re older than Methuselah, you still don’t know how

they’re put together. It’s cause you keep trying to understand women

logically, which will never work, but that’s a subject for another time.

Right now, ….a lot of women are going to kill me for tellig these secrets,

but here they are. Most women are more like philodrendrons than like

hot-house roses. They can go long, long times without water. They can even

put out new leaves when under stress. I don’t know if you kew this, but

women, like trees, blossom out of season when they are under stress. I grew

up in the orchardlands, and during cold Iwinters without much snow, because

the trees were stressed for lack of moisture, many would bloom in the midst

of November. Yes! In flower in the cold, cold winter. The sad thing was,

those buds, no matter how lovely, would freeze and never become fruit. There

just was not enough warmth for them to thrive.

Well, women are like this, they can go for a long time without direct

attention. They draw on their inner resouces, or perhaps on something sweet

you said to them a thousand years ago. yet they often break into bloom in

this winter you have made around them. But it is from stress, and they cannot

bring fruit from this. In essence, the most delicate, fragrant and lovely

things about them, begin to freeze. And you both are the poorer.

So, in retooling the marriage situation, you must only do one thing and one

thing only. You must give moisture to the marriage; you must give warmth and

aim some sun toward your mate. Well, what you say? Be specific. I’m a guy,

remmeber. Ask me to fix a faucet or a soffit and no porb, but the interior

workings of a mate, are you crazy? I’d sooner stick my hand in a mixmaster

going at top speed. Okay, well, you could bring her flowers and jewelry. But

you and I know if you do that all of a sudden, she is going to look at you

all squinty-eyed and tap her toe and demand to know what the hell you have

done wrong now. It is better to do just this one other thing, or something

close to it. It will take a half an hour. And you don’t have to do hardly

anything except sit still and not look away and not shake your leg, and not

opick your teeth or do any other form of hygiene. Think of it this way, How

many half hours have you wasted away by sleeping during the day, or trying to

find an exact left-turning brad at the hardware store, or going from grocery

store to grocery store trying to find some dammed elusive whatnot? What we’re

talking about here is A half hour of your time to get a return of a

thousand-fold. Would you put .50 cents down to get $500 back? Of course you

would.

Okay, so here’s the real deal. Make sure she is fed first. Don’t try to do

this when she is hungry and already growing horns. Men are like special

agents; they have to have strategy. Make sure the kids are not running around

like wild jackals. Then, sit down next to or across from your mate and say

something like this; if you can’t think up words, clip this out and hand it

to her, tell her THE GRANDMOTHER OF THE WORLD ordered you to do this: “I am

no good at doing this stuff, so please hear me out. I have been so busy and

tired that I have not really seen you for a long time. I am sorry for that.

Can you tell me how you are?.†Then jjst listen. If you can, tell her back

exacltly what she just told you so she knows you are listening. Have oxygen

ready. She may faint. This will be a good sign.

Now, wait, wait, don’t gallop away. I know saying such a thing like this

seems equivalent to telling you to hang your cojones out on a leafless tree

in front of a fully armed firing sqaud. But, here’s the deal. Men are able to

do many things they at first thought were bad ideas. The transcontinental

roadways were laughed at 90 years ago. Only one in 100,000 people had cars.

Transcontinental phone lines; the same, ha! why would people ever want to

talk to each other over long distances; they could just wait till they saw

each other face to face. The same thing with personal computers; such a bad

idea; nobody but genius’s would be able to manage those big machines. And on

and on. Amongst the Lakota Sioux, a mark of a man’s courage was to ride up to

the enemy and not to kill him, but to touch him, and then ride away. Not that

your wife is an enemy. In fact quite the contrarty; she is more likely one of

those creatures who is trying to blossom under stress, and because you have

been absent from her real life, now her limbs are waving and looking for a

weather place warm enough so she can truly thrive. You can be her thriving.

Yes, you. I know a guy often thinks he is no good for anything more than

being chauffer and dish-drier. But it is not so. Truly. Here is the real

deal. We can all only hug ourselves for just so long. Then, we need our

special other. On a regular basis.

And whle you are at it, if she takes care about her looks, do yourself

and the world at large a favor and speak out loud— in even part sentences or

grunts—and say, I like that. I Like that. I like that. Find something to

like, and like it out loud. I said do the world a favor, cause when you don’t

tell her at least a few times a week that she is lookin’ good, she is tense

and meany-like, man, in your name. She does not feel light and alive. She

feels dead and unhappy and ungenerous. See? You have an altruistic duty to

the world to find something you like about your mate and say it aloud. Like

filling the tank with gasoline, you have to do it more than once. Like

anything worth having, it has to be a sustained effort. Do this, and your

stock will soar. Having your stock stay high is part of feeling good as a

man. You’re entitled to feel good and manly. This is just one more way to be

a man.

I know a lot of men think their woman is pretty, attractive and just forget

to say it. I know to some people, fogetting to say nice things out loud is

as puzzling as forgetting where your front door is located. But, suffice it

to say, you have a lot on your mind. So, remind yourself till you get in the

habit. Its alright to say something at a regular time, such as always just

after you take your vitamins, or right before you go to sleep. Make it a new

habit. Practice it. Train. You will reap the benefits. No pain, no gain.

And now to Mr. Happy. I know you have been waiting for this with bated

breath, and now we are here. I have only this to say, and remember, I have

been around the block five billion times. Because of my line of work, people

confide in me and tell me their heart of hearts, so I know whereof I speak.

Now, again, in the interest of taking good care of yourself and all your

sense of well being… do everything you need to do to keep Mr. Happy happy.

Don’t make him Mr. Saddy. Unless its DeSade and that’s your thing, in which

case, the answer is different. What I am talking about here is that if you

are over 35 or so, you may have noticed that Mr. Happy is not as tall as he

once was (normal), and not as upright (normal), and takes a little longer to

wake up sometimes (normal), and once in a long while just lays there like an

over-cooked noodle (also normal).

But here is when there is reason to look into matters further, and understand

this comes under the category of Self Care, the Manly Things of Life to Pay

Attention To. Your father might not have taught you, your mother might not

have taught you, but I am going to tell you. If you have to remind yourself

to remember to be interested in having a pleasureable and rousing roll in the

hay, lack of sex drive over more than a couple months’ period of time means

that something is awry somewhere. For many men it may mean there has been a

dip in their androgen levels that causes such. Yes, it appears we feel sexy,

in part, acording to how high our various hormone levels are. Or, if there

has been a sudden tragedy or disappointment, a man may find his drive has

driven away.

There may also be mechanical issues. When a man consistently overeats,

bicycle rides on narrow seats (there is evidence mounting), over-drinks

alcohol, injests various drugs, Mr Happy might seem like he has been mugged.

See, the viens that feed Mr. Happy are very tiny, no matter how big you are

built. The veins are tiny and easy to injure, clog with heavy fat residue,

compress, over-relax. Thse veins feed the blood supply to Mr. Happy, and lock

down the base hatch so that Mr. Happy is truly Happy.

So, if there is or has been any trouble whatsoever that has gone on for more

than 3 times out of the last 20, or 1 out of 2, or other equations, you must

do the manly thing and ask your mate to help you. This is the help. Your mate

can help track down, often via the Internet, a reputable specialist in

endocrhonology who can help. Not all endochronologists specialize in this

matter, but there are those that do, and who do not believe that a blue pill

(Viagara) is necessarily the answer for everything. An examination to see

what is going on is important. My endromchronologist colleagues tell me that

99% of men can be helped oe way or another. Sometimes there has been injury

from years of smolking or from doing things that narrow the artieries and

veins. If there is an issue, believe me, it is rarely psychological. Just

understand what I am telling you here, is that when Mr. Happy is happy, you

are happy. And I am meaning that like a flower, he has a sturdy-enough stem

and a bulb that feeds the stem, and sensitive petals. That these all work as

a man has a right to expect. And to give attention to, if not.