I can't suppress this feeling (long) part one

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/02 1:19:08 AM, Graduate-OSSG writes:

<< I can't suppress this feeling. . . .

Help, I don't know how to put this. It is kind of an x rated post. I have

been really wanting sex lately (horny) and I have been daydreaming about a

guy here in town. Anyway, my dh does not do it for me anymore, especially

since he has NOT acknowledged my wt loss. No compliments etc.

Anyway, I don't know how to deal with these feeling. I haven't felt this way

for years. It is like somethingopened up. I have been surfing chat rooms

and looking at online

personal ads. Plus, since I don't know what to do with these feelings, I

have been having wine nightly and along with that I have been snacking,

trying to suppress the feelings.

Any help, comments or suggestion would be greatly appreciated, and you can

respond to me privately.

Vicki

VBG 6-97 364/212

RNY 6-29-01 295/196/160 >>

Darling girl V:

It isn't likely about being " horny. " It sounds more like " neglected. " (it

could be an “and-and,†situation, rather than “either/or,†too) There is

almost nothing more we human beings want to be, than " seen " as true hearts,

lovely to behold (sometimes and often) and valuable (always).

Its only my ten cents worth, but given all the duscussion a whle back about

lack of sexual interest by more than a few, I thought I would write the

following to husbands of the world who might be like yours a little. It is

long and will come in about 4 parts, I think. You hang in there, and if you

have children, do not do anything drastic, and especially don’t let the

little taco between your legs lead you. Bad idea. Use your soul and your wits

instead.

love,

ceep

WHAT YOUR DAD AND YOUR MOTHER WON’T TELL YOU ABOUT WHAT A MAN NEEDS TO LIVE

THE GOOD LIFE: A letter from the GRANDMOTHER OF THE WORLD

Hi there Big Guy: (I say this with real affection-- for I have three

sons-in-law, a father, a husband, assorted honorary brothers, and several

grandsons too. This is what I call all of them.)

I have wanted to talk to you for a long time, cause I have a real deal for

you, not a fake one, but a real one. One that will make you remember you are

a man and you have the power to be looked up to and respected by others and

to feel good about yourself every day. Look at it this way, five minutes of

your time right now in order to make your life as a man immediately more

interesting and satisfying. Think of all the five minutes you’ve spent doing

God knows what, waiting in line, sleeping, driving the car, that didn’t make

you feel one whit more anything. So listen up Big Guy. I have some things to

talk to you about , including sex.

I call myself THE GRANDMOTHER OF THE WORLD because, just suffice it to

say I have lived a long time, and if I haven’t yet seen it all roll by, I

have seen it a thousand times. Som, here’s what I know about guys like you,

guys who are married, who work hard, who try to do the right thing. I know

you are tired.

And I know there are times when you wonder jut what the hell you’re doing and

how you got into all this. If there isn’t the kids and the wife and the car,

then there’s the lawn and the bills and the aphids, or whatever. You think I

haven’t noticed, but I bet your family has— you are not taking good care of

yourself. This not taking good care of yourself is kind of “a guy thing,â€

you know. I know and you know that when you live long enough and put things

off long enough, that often they get somewhat to a lot better all by

themselves. I know this I what you’re bettng on. But, you know, I am here to

tell you on a few situations, you can’t keep waiting for them to fix

themselves. Letting the car “rest†when the fuel pump has gone out won’t

do

the trick.

So first things first, now that you’re getting older, there is the issue of

our health. Hold it, sit right there. That’s an order. I know this holds all

the romance for you of gutting a twelve-day-dead partridge. And, Oh yes, I

have heard it all from every guy imaginable. You are strong as an ox, and

your grandfather lived to be 80,000 years old while drinking WD40, smoking

ratweed, and eating butter sandwhiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But

you know what? You aren’t your grandpa. You live in a world filled with

chemicals in the air and in the food and water that weren’t even invented

when your grandfather was alive. He couldn’t even pronounce their names if he

knew them. And neither can you or I. Just try saying Chlorineakldehydrolic

acid real fast ten times.

So here’s the real deal. Go to the doc and get a checkup okay? Put index

finger in telephone and dial numbers. You can take time out of doing 100 reps

and tuning up your sand wedge and just do it. I mean it, you’re not doing

this for yourself. No, that would be selfish, right? You’re doing it for your

family. For your kids, grown or not, and for your wife, nagging you or not,

so that people will stop worrying about you already. Wouldn’t you rather they

admire you for being foresightful, rather than think you’re about as dumb as

a log? Of course you would rather they admire you. Remember, how you take

care of yourself is how you teach those younger than you to take care of

themselves. You’re the example. Yes, you are. And none of that do as I say,

not as I do, cop-out stuff.

The doctor, yes, is going to need to stick his finger up your butt to make

certain your prostate is not the size of Kansas, and yes, he might hold your

testicles for a second and make you cough to make sure you don’t have a

hernia, but this is how men are taken care of to make sure they’re all right.

Man, if Bush can get a sigmoidoscopy (they went up his butt with a

camera, man,) you can get through a physical just a-okay too. The doc is not

going to say lose five hundred pounds, quit all pleasures in life

immediately—whatever few you have left—or else you die tomorrow. (If he does

say that you are going to hitch up your balls and get another doc, right?) A

decent doc is going to be glad you are taking care of your family by taking

care of yourself. A decent doc is going to run ordinary blood tests and tell

you about your cholesterol levels, and if you are over 40, it is probably

good to test your androgen levels (that’s the set of male hormones) to make

sure your body is manufacturing enough. Like I said, with all the chemicals

we ingest nowadays, nobody knows how these combine with the natural hormones

and chemicals in our bodies and what the heck happens then. Your grandfathers

and father’s healthcare needs are not the same as yours and those of your

sons.

Okay, so that is the dope about healthcare. Except for your teeth. Teeth are

what enable you to chew your food, breaking it down enough so that your

stomach can do its work, and thereby give your body nutrition. You cannot

just swallow unchewed gobbets of food at a time and be nourished. (Although

when we were little, we all tried to eat as grossly as possible in order to

make each other laugh—but that time is not this time, if you get my drift.)

Without good teeth, your body will be less nourished. Your muscles will go

schlump, your eyesight will wilt and your golf swing will devolve. You have

to go to the dentist twice a year, not cause they need your money to make

their Mercedes payment, although that’s in there somewhere too, but because

it is part of keeping the machine shiny. You’re supposed to have flash and

dash. Not crash and burn. You understand.

Besides, if you don’t take care of your teeth, your breath will smell like

rotting garbage. No kidding. You have probably smelled this on a person or

two in your lifetime. Brushing teeth, using industrial-strength Scope won’t

work. It’s a little like a baby in a clean diaper but without all the shit

washed off their butt. The odor lingers. And lingers. So, look after it. If

you hate your dentist, ask others if they have dentist they think are great,

and go to one of those. Men don’t suffer in silence. Men take charge. It’s

not the same as refusing to read the map or stop and ask directions when you

think you’re more of less going in the right direction accirding to your

usually excellent rhino-radar. This is different. Take charge. Yeah, that’s

the ticket.

Okay, now on to the next thing I notice you are tired a lot. And

sometimes kind of grumpy. Well, who can blame you? You have a lot on your

mind. You know what I mean. There’s just a lot of stuff that isn’t getting

done that ought to be done by now, but you don’t even have a minute to start

it, and when you do, you just wonder why you are even attempting one more

damned thing.

Well, here’s the real deal. Cars run out of gas. Men run out of energy. I

know you were probably taught that you were supposed to somehow make yourself

into a perpetual motion machine, even though sych a machine hasn’t been

invented yet. Thing is, running on empty has nothing to do with being strong.

A 57 Merc Cruiser with nipple taillights and stitched leather seats and

windswept fins, with a boss V-8 under the hood and mufflers out to here, is a

strong car. Not like those old “lead sleds†of our father’s time, cars so

heavy it was a wonder they didn’t need a winch to tow them up a hill. No, no

matter how strong the car is, when its out of gas, it can’t go. You can turn

the ignition and turn it till you burn out the ignition, and the car still

won’t go. It needs fuel.

So, here’s the real deal Big Guy, you need to ask and answer just one

question. I am not going to get all psychological on you here. Just one

question. One answer, will top you off again. The question is, “What is fuel

for you when you are running near empty?â€

Now a lot of guys will say they don’t know. Fact is they do know, but

like you, they haven’t been taking good enough care of themselves and so do

not remember what works for them—they haven’t revisited home in a long time,

so to speak. Here are answers other guys give when asked this question, one

of these will be close to what works for you too:

going to new places, seeing new things

seeing movies and plays

having adventures, rafting, train rides, road trips

playing a sport that matters, rock-climbing, whatever strums your strings

painting, woodworking, something you do with your hands

being with children who are fully alive

having a really nice time where you don’t have to plan everything

having your mate initiate making love to you once in a while

going to church on a regular basis

giving to others, like volunteering for meals-on-wheels

having a weekly guys club, playing cards and laughing like hyenas

going camping, fishing, boating

and so on

Now, all these might look mighty mundane, and part of the key to

refilling oneself is to go for what energizes you-- but without getting into

trouble. Regardless of what guys choose, they are not to endanger themselves

foolishly, or the family. But, here’s the real deal, the thing that all of

these endeavors have in common that might not be apparent at first, is that

they are not just exercises in “relaxing.†(Myself, as a dynamic and

successful businesswoman have never felt energized by relaxing—to me

relaxation is boring—both to myself and to others. I want to be interested

and interesting! but that’s another story for another time.) Here’s the

thing that all those activities have in common—are you ready? They MAKE NEW

MEMORIES for the guy. They fill his mind and heart with new jokes,

companionship, scenes, episodes, funny happenings, strange and weird stories

to tell. A guy is energized not by variety per se, but by having somehing new

to talk about, to do, to participate in. In other words, he has stories to

tell that he didn’t have before.

I swear to you as though you were my son, that when peple are tired or bored

and disinterested in life, most of the time it is because they have no new

stories to tell. You get new stories by living life in new directions. You

can see from the above list that these new directions need hardly be

grandiose. They are simple. Direct. Strong. You know, guy-like.

continued

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/2002 4:09:50 PM Pacific Standard Time,

lacorona@... writes:

> You hang in there, and if you

> have children, do not do anything drastic, and especially don’t let the

> little taco between your legs lead you. Bad idea. Use your soul and your

> wits

> instead.

> love,

> ceep

>

And what is the male counter part??? Burrito, chimichanga (if he's really

hot) . . . or the poor souls who only possesses a flaunta . . . or worse yet

a tacito . ..

) Evil Vicki

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/2002 4:09:50 PM Pacific Standard Time,

lacorona@... writes:

> You hang in there, and if you

> have children, do not do anything drastic, and especially don’t let the

> little taco between your legs lead you. Bad idea. Use your soul and your

> wits

> instead.

> love,

> ceep

>

And what is the male counter part??? Burrito, chimichanga (if he's really

hot) . . . or the poor souls who only possesses a flaunta . . . or worse yet

a tacito . ..

) Evil Vicki