RE: You would think at almost 18 months post op...

[Guest guest]

,

Your body has changed but not your mind. It's great that you see what's

going on. I believe, that is a major step. Being human though, bad habits

are hard to break. You have to be very aware of what and when you eat. When

it is time to eat, make sure you sit at the table with no other

distractions. No TV, reading, or even extensive conversation. Pay attention

to how you chew, putting down your fork in between every bite. Enjoy the

meal by taking the time. Spend the time on you and your meal so that you

don't feel cheated. I've found that if I'm busy while eating that in my

mind, it's like I never ate. I would keep eating at scheduled times. This

will be something to look forward to. If you wait until you are hungry, you

may over eat.

Another thing about having had WLS, we cannot eat very much at once. This is

great in the weight loss process. I myself, find myself eating possibly 5

small meals a day. I don't eat anymore than normal. I only eat approximately

half meals. My surgeon told me that females need only 2 cups of actual food

a day and males 3 cups. People wonder how I can eat so much and not gain.

Even my dad, who I didn't tell about my surgery until a year ago, thought I

ate constantly. In the time it takes most people to eat a large meal, I've

only eaten a little. They don't see how much I eat but how often.

One other suggestion is treat yourself occasionally. I don't eat candy much

but I love ice cream. I do treat myself to it once in awhile. Frozen yogurt

is a personal favorite. It's something good for me and it makes me feel

better than a piece chocolate cake.

The last thing I want to mention is that we all go through periods of

cravings. Most of the time we think it's for goodies. Our bodies actually

crave what we need. When I crave ice cream, I believe it's actually the

calcium I need. When we figure it out the need, we can find the right food

for the craving. For women, there is a time during the month that we crave

more than others. Some years ago, I read a book about determining the sex of

your child, when trying to get pregnant with my third child. While I found

the entire book interesting, one section explained why we women crave and

the reasons for it. I will try to find references if interested.

Anyway....be aware of all aspects of eating and you will learn how to keep

it under control.

I hope this helps,

Dawn

[Guest guest]

,

Your body has changed but not your mind. It's great that you see what's

going on. I believe, that is a major step. Being human though, bad habits

are hard to break. You have to be very aware of what and when you eat. When

it is time to eat, make sure you sit at the table with no other

distractions. No TV, reading, or even extensive conversation. Pay attention

to how you chew, putting down your fork in between every bite. Enjoy the

meal by taking the time. Spend the time on you and your meal so that you

don't feel cheated. I've found that if I'm busy while eating that in my

mind, it's like I never ate. I would keep eating at scheduled times. This

will be something to look forward to. If you wait until you are hungry, you

may over eat.

Another thing about having had WLS, we cannot eat very much at once. This is

great in the weight loss process. I myself, find myself eating possibly 5

small meals a day. I don't eat anymore than normal. I only eat approximately

half meals. My surgeon told me that females need only 2 cups of actual food

a day and males 3 cups. People wonder how I can eat so much and not gain.

Even my dad, who I didn't tell about my surgery until a year ago, thought I

ate constantly. In the time it takes most people to eat a large meal, I've

only eaten a little. They don't see how much I eat but how often.

One other suggestion is treat yourself occasionally. I don't eat candy much

but I love ice cream. I do treat myself to it once in awhile. Frozen yogurt

is a personal favorite. It's something good for me and it makes me feel

better than a piece chocolate cake.

The last thing I want to mention is that we all go through periods of

cravings. Most of the time we think it's for goodies. Our bodies actually

crave what we need. When I crave ice cream, I believe it's actually the

calcium I need. When we figure it out the need, we can find the right food

for the craving. For women, there is a time during the month that we crave

more than others. Some years ago, I read a book about determining the sex of

your child, when trying to get pregnant with my third child. While I found

the entire book interesting, one section explained why we women crave and

the reasons for it. I will try to find references if interested.

Anyway....be aware of all aspects of eating and you will learn how to keep

it under control.

I hope this helps,

Dawn

[Guest guest]

,

Your body has changed but not your mind. It's great that you see what's

going on. I believe, that is a major step. Being human though, bad habits

are hard to break. You have to be very aware of what and when you eat. When

it is time to eat, make sure you sit at the table with no other

distractions. No TV, reading, or even extensive conversation. Pay attention

to how you chew, putting down your fork in between every bite. Enjoy the

meal by taking the time. Spend the time on you and your meal so that you

don't feel cheated. I've found that if I'm busy while eating that in my

mind, it's like I never ate. I would keep eating at scheduled times. This

will be something to look forward to. If you wait until you are hungry, you

may over eat.

Another thing about having had WLS, we cannot eat very much at once. This is

great in the weight loss process. I myself, find myself eating possibly 5

small meals a day. I don't eat anymore than normal. I only eat approximately

half meals. My surgeon told me that females need only 2 cups of actual food

a day and males 3 cups. People wonder how I can eat so much and not gain.

Even my dad, who I didn't tell about my surgery until a year ago, thought I

ate constantly. In the time it takes most people to eat a large meal, I've

only eaten a little. They don't see how much I eat but how often.

One other suggestion is treat yourself occasionally. I don't eat candy much

but I love ice cream. I do treat myself to it once in awhile. Frozen yogurt

is a personal favorite. It's something good for me and it makes me feel

better than a piece chocolate cake.

The last thing I want to mention is that we all go through periods of

cravings. Most of the time we think it's for goodies. Our bodies actually

crave what we need. When I crave ice cream, I believe it's actually the

calcium I need. When we figure it out the need, we can find the right food

for the craving. For women, there is a time during the month that we crave

more than others. Some years ago, I read a book about determining the sex of

your child, when trying to get pregnant with my third child. While I found

the entire book interesting, one section explained why we women crave and

the reasons for it. I will try to find references if interested.

Anyway....be aware of all aspects of eating and you will learn how to keep

it under control.

I hope this helps,

Dawn

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

I'm so glad that you chose to acknowledge how you're

sabotaging your success. As you say, cognizance is

the first step. Now, we've got to get behind why you

do what you do.

Obviously one of the reasons you got to 324 pounds

(also my pre-op weight) was by being an emotional

eater. So what are you doing to fix the reasons

behind why you make these choices? Your surgery fixed

the symptom (obesity) but not the problem. Kind of

like putting a band-aid on a broken leg. You know you

need to get to the root of the problem so I'm not

telling you anything new.

What I can say to encourage you though is by being

fully aware of the reason why you are picking up that

piece of cake, or bad food or whatever, it does help

after a while. You will need to stay on top of paying

attention to how you feel when you WANT the food (not

when you're eating it) -- then stopping and asking

yourself what you're doing will really help -- give it

a little time though, this won't happen

overnight...and it may not even stop you from making

the poor choice all the time.

I got to 324 pounds by not paying any attention to my

eating. Yes I felt guilty when I stopped to think

about it...so I truly tried never to stop and think

about it. Now after WLS, I force myself to think

about it just because I don't want it to get out of

hand. In this past 14 mos, I realize that I do want

to have chocolate/salt during my cycle. I want junk

food when I'm bored or extremely stressed. And I

recognize that sometimes I allow the indulgence. But

I also see a psychiatrist 1ce a month to discuss these

issues...also stare in the mirror and do affirmations

(that seemed stupid at first but are great now) --

(affirmations like " I am beautiful " , " I am worth

caring for myself " etc.)...

All of these things help me when I feel like doing the

" wrong " thing.

Let me know if any of this is sinking in. I know I'm

rambling but I wanted to reply so you didn't feel

alone.

Kim

324/174/160

Lap RNY 6/26/01

--- the3latours@...> wrote:

> I would have conquered or atleast overcame my eating

> issues, but alas

> I have not. I am finding myself under a tremendous

> amount of stress

> right now and the more stress I am under the more I

> eat. Even when I

> am not hungry, even when it discusts me or makes me

> angry with

> myself, I eat. Do I make wise food choices atleast?

> Ofcourse NOT! I

> don't overeat sliced turkey breast or string cheese,

> I overeat

> cookies and cakes and chips and bread. Then I feel

> discusted and

> angry with myself because I have been given this

> wonderful gift of

> WLS and I am not using it wisely. Then I eat. Not a

> good cycle.

>

> I am trying to break the cycle today. It dawned on

> me last night what

> I am doing and why, step one is always recognizing

> and admitting the

> problem right? well I am reaching for step two-

> stopping the

> behavior. So today I am trying to make it a point

> not to eat unless I

> feel hungry - which may sound logical but I usually

> eat at

> predetermined times 8, 12 and 5:30. Today I am

> waiting to see if I am

> actually hungry before I eat. So I have waited until

> now and I am

> eating 4 ounce of turkey & 1 string cheese. I am

> incorporating in

> step two making wiser choices.

>

> Does anyone else still struggle as a long term post

> op? Does anyone

> else feel guilt when they eat poorly?

>

> Thanks for listening.

>

>

> Lap BPD/DS

> 3/22/01

> 324/-158#

>

http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=llatour

>

>

>

> Homepage:

> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe:

> mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

I'm so glad that you chose to acknowledge how you're

sabotaging your success. As you say, cognizance is

the first step. Now, we've got to get behind why you

do what you do.

Obviously one of the reasons you got to 324 pounds

(also my pre-op weight) was by being an emotional

eater. So what are you doing to fix the reasons

behind why you make these choices? Your surgery fixed

the symptom (obesity) but not the problem. Kind of

like putting a band-aid on a broken leg. You know you

need to get to the root of the problem so I'm not

telling you anything new.

What I can say to encourage you though is by being

fully aware of the reason why you are picking up that

piece of cake, or bad food or whatever, it does help

after a while. You will need to stay on top of paying

attention to how you feel when you WANT the food (not

when you're eating it) -- then stopping and asking

yourself what you're doing will really help -- give it

a little time though, this won't happen

overnight...and it may not even stop you from making

the poor choice all the time.

I got to 324 pounds by not paying any attention to my

eating. Yes I felt guilty when I stopped to think

about it...so I truly tried never to stop and think

about it. Now after WLS, I force myself to think

about it just because I don't want it to get out of

hand. In this past 14 mos, I realize that I do want

to have chocolate/salt during my cycle. I want junk

food when I'm bored or extremely stressed. And I

recognize that sometimes I allow the indulgence. But

I also see a psychiatrist 1ce a month to discuss these

issues...also stare in the mirror and do affirmations

(that seemed stupid at first but are great now) --

(affirmations like " I am beautiful " , " I am worth

caring for myself " etc.)...

All of these things help me when I feel like doing the

" wrong " thing.

Let me know if any of this is sinking in. I know I'm

rambling but I wanted to reply so you didn't feel

alone.

Kim

324/174/160

Lap RNY 6/26/01

--- the3latours@...> wrote:

> I would have conquered or atleast overcame my eating

> issues, but alas

> I have not. I am finding myself under a tremendous

> amount of stress

> right now and the more stress I am under the more I

> eat. Even when I

> am not hungry, even when it discusts me or makes me

> angry with

> myself, I eat. Do I make wise food choices atleast?

> Ofcourse NOT! I

> don't overeat sliced turkey breast or string cheese,

> I overeat

> cookies and cakes and chips and bread. Then I feel

> discusted and

> angry with myself because I have been given this

> wonderful gift of

> WLS and I am not using it wisely. Then I eat. Not a

> good cycle.

>

> I am trying to break the cycle today. It dawned on

> me last night what

> I am doing and why, step one is always recognizing

> and admitting the

> problem right? well I am reaching for step two-

> stopping the

> behavior. So today I am trying to make it a point

> not to eat unless I

> feel hungry - which may sound logical but I usually

> eat at

> predetermined times 8, 12 and 5:30. Today I am

> waiting to see if I am

> actually hungry before I eat. So I have waited until

> now and I am

> eating 4 ounce of turkey & 1 string cheese. I am

> incorporating in

> step two making wiser choices.

>

> Does anyone else still struggle as a long term post

> op? Does anyone

> else feel guilt when they eat poorly?

>

> Thanks for listening.

>

>

> Lap BPD/DS

> 3/22/01

> 324/-158#

>

http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=llatour

>

>

>

> Homepage:

> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe:

> mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

I'm so glad that you chose to acknowledge how you're

sabotaging your success. As you say, cognizance is

the first step. Now, we've got to get behind why you

do what you do.

Obviously one of the reasons you got to 324 pounds

(also my pre-op weight) was by being an emotional

eater. So what are you doing to fix the reasons

behind why you make these choices? Your surgery fixed

the symptom (obesity) but not the problem. Kind of

like putting a band-aid on a broken leg. You know you

need to get to the root of the problem so I'm not

telling you anything new.

What I can say to encourage you though is by being

fully aware of the reason why you are picking up that

piece of cake, or bad food or whatever, it does help

after a while. You will need to stay on top of paying

attention to how you feel when you WANT the food (not

when you're eating it) -- then stopping and asking

yourself what you're doing will really help -- give it

a little time though, this won't happen

overnight...and it may not even stop you from making

the poor choice all the time.

I got to 324 pounds by not paying any attention to my

eating. Yes I felt guilty when I stopped to think

about it...so I truly tried never to stop and think

about it. Now after WLS, I force myself to think

about it just because I don't want it to get out of

hand. In this past 14 mos, I realize that I do want

to have chocolate/salt during my cycle. I want junk

food when I'm bored or extremely stressed. And I

recognize that sometimes I allow the indulgence. But

I also see a psychiatrist 1ce a month to discuss these

issues...also stare in the mirror and do affirmations

(that seemed stupid at first but are great now) --

(affirmations like " I am beautiful " , " I am worth

caring for myself " etc.)...

All of these things help me when I feel like doing the

" wrong " thing.

Let me know if any of this is sinking in. I know I'm

rambling but I wanted to reply so you didn't feel

alone.

Kim

324/174/160

Lap RNY 6/26/01

--- the3latours@...> wrote:

> I would have conquered or atleast overcame my eating

> issues, but alas

> I have not. I am finding myself under a tremendous

> amount of stress

> right now and the more stress I am under the more I

> eat. Even when I

> am not hungry, even when it discusts me or makes me

> angry with

> myself, I eat. Do I make wise food choices atleast?

> Ofcourse NOT! I

> don't overeat sliced turkey breast or string cheese,

> I overeat

> cookies and cakes and chips and bread. Then I feel

> discusted and

> angry with myself because I have been given this

> wonderful gift of

> WLS and I am not using it wisely. Then I eat. Not a

> good cycle.

>

> I am trying to break the cycle today. It dawned on

> me last night what

> I am doing and why, step one is always recognizing

> and admitting the

> problem right? well I am reaching for step two-

> stopping the

> behavior. So today I am trying to make it a point

> not to eat unless I

> feel hungry - which may sound logical but I usually

> eat at

> predetermined times 8, 12 and 5:30. Today I am

> waiting to see if I am

> actually hungry before I eat. So I have waited until

> now and I am

> eating 4 ounce of turkey & 1 string cheese. I am

> incorporating in

> step two making wiser choices.

>

> Does anyone else still struggle as a long term post

> op? Does anyone

> else feel guilt when they eat poorly?

>

> Thanks for listening.

>

>

> Lap BPD/DS

> 3/22/01

> 324/-158#

>

http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=llatour

>

>

>

> Homepage:

> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe:

> mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

It takes a lot of courage to ask for help in this area.. so many people flip

out when we admit to not following the " rules " or not using our " tool " to

its best advantage. Of course we all want to do this, but we also have a

disease and years of learned behavior to deal with, and it takes time. I

think the fact that you recognize what's going on with you makes you WAY

ahead of the game. I have seen more than one person fail at this from not

paying attention, or just being clueless that they are falling into old

habits, or haven't done what they could to address the issues behind their

emotional eating

You are definitely not alone in this. I realized a while ago that the WLS

hadn't " cured " me, but definitely has given me a second chance at being

healthy this time around. I too eat the wrong things.. but the difference

is I am fully aware of what I'm eating.. I can actually say to myself as I

pick up that item of carbohydrate/sugar delight " I am eating this, and I

choose to eat this " instead of the old " holy crap, what did I do? " .

I go through periods of eating clean healthy foods and then periods of

stress when I have to stop a few times a day and figure out what I'm

reaching for. I do my best to keep healthy snacks and fruits and things in

the house so that if I feel like stress eating, at least I'm not cramming

unhealthy foods in my head. Stress eating will always be with me to one

degree or another, but now I can actually make the choice whether or not I'm

going to do it or what I'm going to do it with. Some people can find this

balance and some people can't, it depends on you, and I'm not advising

" accepting " stress eating as healthy behavior...just work with it instead of

letting it work you

I don't feel nearly as guilty as I used to. I find that if I choose to

acknowledge what I've done, and choose to move on from it, I don't go into

the death spiral of eating, then feeling guilty and bad and eating more

cause I feel guilty and bad. Accept it, and move along Being

black/white, good/bad about food is a trap for me. Food is food, food is

fuel. I try not to make food comfort anymore. For me, living in the shades

of grey is totally key.

Also, I find that like most " normies " ... exercise really helps me stay on an

even keel. I am able to eat more normally because I burn so many more

calories than I used to through workouts and weightlifting. I have more

muscle to raise my metabolism, etc. The common WLS eating style of 5 times

a day is actually healthier for you as an exerciser anyway, keeps your

metabolism on an even keel.

Yooooou can do it!

There's my .02, I hope it helps a little...

http://www.eradain.com/apoplexy

You would think at almost 18 months post op...

Then I feel discusted and

angry with myself because I have been given this wonderful gift of

WLS and I am not using it wisely. Then I eat. Not a good cycle.

Does anyone else still struggle as a long term post op? Does anyone

else feel guilt when they eat poorly?

Thanks for listening.

Lap BPD/DS

3/22/01

324/-158#

http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=llatour

Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

It takes a lot of courage to ask for help in this area.. so many people flip

out when we admit to not following the " rules " or not using our " tool " to

its best advantage. Of course we all want to do this, but we also have a

disease and years of learned behavior to deal with, and it takes time. I

think the fact that you recognize what's going on with you makes you WAY

ahead of the game. I have seen more than one person fail at this from not

paying attention, or just being clueless that they are falling into old

habits, or haven't done what they could to address the issues behind their

emotional eating

You are definitely not alone in this. I realized a while ago that the WLS

hadn't " cured " me, but definitely has given me a second chance at being

healthy this time around. I too eat the wrong things.. but the difference

is I am fully aware of what I'm eating.. I can actually say to myself as I

pick up that item of carbohydrate/sugar delight " I am eating this, and I

choose to eat this " instead of the old " holy crap, what did I do? " .

I go through periods of eating clean healthy foods and then periods of

stress when I have to stop a few times a day and figure out what I'm

reaching for. I do my best to keep healthy snacks and fruits and things in

the house so that if I feel like stress eating, at least I'm not cramming

unhealthy foods in my head. Stress eating will always be with me to one

degree or another, but now I can actually make the choice whether or not I'm

going to do it or what I'm going to do it with. Some people can find this

balance and some people can't, it depends on you, and I'm not advising

" accepting " stress eating as healthy behavior...just work with it instead of

letting it work you

I don't feel nearly as guilty as I used to. I find that if I choose to

acknowledge what I've done, and choose to move on from it, I don't go into

the death spiral of eating, then feeling guilty and bad and eating more

cause I feel guilty and bad. Accept it, and move along Being

black/white, good/bad about food is a trap for me. Food is food, food is

fuel. I try not to make food comfort anymore. For me, living in the shades

of grey is totally key.

Also, I find that like most " normies " ... exercise really helps me stay on an

even keel. I am able to eat more normally because I burn so many more

calories than I used to through workouts and weightlifting. I have more

muscle to raise my metabolism, etc. The common WLS eating style of 5 times

a day is actually healthier for you as an exerciser anyway, keeps your

metabolism on an even keel.

Yooooou can do it!

There's my .02, I hope it helps a little...

http://www.eradain.com/apoplexy

You would think at almost 18 months post op...

Then I feel discusted and

angry with myself because I have been given this wonderful gift of

WLS and I am not using it wisely. Then I eat. Not a good cycle.

Does anyone else still struggle as a long term post op? Does anyone

else feel guilt when they eat poorly?

Thanks for listening.

Lap BPD/DS

3/22/01

324/-158#

http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=llatour

Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/11/2002 8:27:25 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

the3latours@... writes:

> I overeat

> cookies and cakes and chips and bread.

Are you doing protein shakes?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/11/2002 8:27:25 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

the3latours@... writes:

> I overeat

> cookies and cakes and chips and bread.

Are you doing protein shakes?

[Guest guest]

> I would have conquered or at least overcame my eating issues, but alas I

have not.

> Does anyone else still struggle as a long term post op? Does anyone

> else feel guilt when they eat poorly?

I wouldn't think (for me) after more than nearly 40 years of really poor

eating habits that I would over come them in 18 months or 2 years or even

the next 5 years -- I get better with time but not " over come " the whole

thing and I still eat at stress and other issues that I wish I didn't and I

still make bad choices when I know better -- it still happens.

All I can do is, for today, choose to make better choices and provide

myself with a plan to help me do that. My usual plan is to drink a shake

before making ANY choice when I'm totally stressed or other wise bummed out,

depressed, angry, joyful... or any over whelming emotion (and yeah, they

still get over whelming)

Most days, having a shake first works -- some days, it doesn't and those

are really my " sick puppy " days -- to many of those in a row and I know I'm

going to be in trouble -- I use a red marker to circle the date on my

calendar when I eat like that -- just so " I " can " watch " me and because when

I look right there and see more than a day or two of that kind of eating it

is easier to kick my own self back to healthy choices... I may still eat

too much (yellow highlighter on the day) but it is better choices (turkey

rather than chocolate chip cookie) days -- and the rest of the days I can do

battle with my protein at my side working for me and with me to get over and

through the hard times.

And, not forgetting that I didn't get this way in 2 years and I sure am not

going to get " all better " in 2 years. I do therapy every other week and have

since way pre-op and will continue because I do see that it does help in

many ways... but, I'm far from " well " -- I'll take " doing much better "

though and the fewer red marks a month that I have on my calendar the better

I'm doing... and the red marks I do have prove to me I am HUMAN and I have

been given the " gift of a tool " that will allow me to not be obese as long

as I use it -- BUT, any one, any time, can out eat any surgery -- I can't

forget that I too can out eat this surgery and I still have to make a choice

of do I want to be obese again? Because that's right where those red days

take me... sick, obese, awful feeling, many many health problems and too

soon an early death no doubt.

We can each find a system to help us " see " what we are doing -- that's

what helps me...

hugz,

~denise

[Guest guest]

Thanks for a great post, !

I just printed it out so that I can read it occasionally and I plan on using

your " red and yellow method " to keep a check on myself, also!

For me the enemy is anything " white " . As soon as I eat too many carbs I feel

like someone put the feed bag on me and I graze all the next day and have

cravings that make me nuts. I work most of the day selling real estate, I

don't sit around and think about food. The cravings that haunt me and become

very real no matter how busy I am. This is my personal battle...I don't know

if others are effected this way but we all have to learn about ourselves and

what makes us fail or succeed.

It is just not worth the pain in my gut the day after I eat a bag of

pretzels or overdo the cereal or bread. When I stick to the high protein way

of life and remember the &^%$#$ water, I have to remind myself to eat!

Carol G

Lap RNY 8/24/01

307/164/150

" If you always do whatcha always did,

you will always get whatcha always got "

~*~ Website: www.carollis.com

~*~ Proverbs " As you think, so shall you manifest "

~*~ Dr. Philip McGraw, " If you choose the behavior, accept the consequence. "

-- RE: You would think at almost 18 months post op...

> I would have conquered or at least overcame my eating issues, but alas I

have not.

> Does anyone else still struggle as a long term post op? Does anyone

> else feel guilt when they eat poorly?

I wouldn't think (for me) after more than nearly 40 years of really poor

eating habits that I would over come them in 18 months or 2 years or even

the next 5 years -- I get better with time but not " over come " the whole

thing and I still eat at stress and other issues that I wish I didn't and I

still make bad choices when I know better -- it still happens.

All I can do is, for today, choose to make better choices and provide

myself with a plan to help me do that. My usual plan is to drink a shake

before making ANY choice when I'm totally stressed or other wise bummed out,

depressed, angry, joyful... or any over whelming emotion (and yeah, they

still get over whelming)

Most days, having a shake first works -- some days, it doesn't and those

are really my " sick puppy " days -- to many of those in a row and I know I'm

going to be in trouble -- I use a red marker to circle the date on my

calendar when I eat like that -- just so " I " can " watch " me and because when

I look right there and see more than a day or two of that kind of eating it

is easier to kick my own self back to healthy choices... I may still eat

too much (yellow highlighter on the day) but it is better choices (turkey

rather than chocolate chip cookie) days -- and the rest of the days I can do

battle with my protein at my side working for me and with me to get over and

through the hard times.

And, not forgetting that I didn't get this way in 2 years and I sure am not

going to get " all better " in 2 years. I do therapy every other week and have

since way pre-op and will continue because I do see that it does help in

many ways... but, I'm far from " well " -- I'll take " doing much better "

though and the fewer red marks a month that I have on my calendar the better

I'm doing... and the red marks I do have prove to me I am HUMAN and I have

been given the " gift of a tool " that will allow me to not be obese as long

as I use it -- BUT, any one, any time, can out eat any surgery -- I can't

forget that I too can out eat this surgery and I still have to make a choice

of do I want to be obese again? Because that's right where those red days

take me... sick, obese, awful feeling, many many health problems and too

soon an early death no doubt.

We can each find a system to help us " see " what we are doing -- that's

what helps me...

hugz,

~denise

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