on frustration of not being a senior

[Guest guest]

MSA has some differences when it is experienced by someone between 45 and 60

- most of your friends work full-time, and at night you are to tired to

socialize, so you are lonelier, isolated

- those same friends haven't the time for errand running and helping out,

because they work and have younger children

- we still have kids or they've only just left (mine were 16 and 18 when I

stopped being able to work), this is where the bulk of our energies have

gone - are going to

- this was the time we would have had to plan for our retirement (I'd

easily have worked another twenty years) - saving, investing and working

- we are more likely to be looked upon as lazy or malingering

- if you are sick and single, likely you will stay that way, don't get out

much to meet new people (and I'm positively allergic to pity)

- your children are not far along enough to be able to accept caregiving

responsibility - unlikely to own a home for instance

- you are not eligible for programs, which sick seniors can take advantage

of (assisted housing, social gatherings, advocacy)

- programs more to our own age are set up for people for whom the prognosis

incudes getting better and going back to work, (employment programs,

education, rehabilitation, fitness) and not all communities have support

groups for MSA, senior's supports will not help us, all the programs for

people with terminal illness I've contacted have programs geared to those

who have a year or less to live, and none of us can be that certain

(cancer, AIDS, ALS etc.)

- for the same reasons that joints are rarely replaced before senior years,

doctors are hesitant to give certain treatments to younger patients

- all our plans and ambitions have been halted, most of us were in the

middle of a career, of raising family, of relationships not geared towards

failing health (that was not supposed to happen yet)

Sometimes I think this needs to be re stated, as one of the younger ones, I

feel these points get forgotten. These are probably the reasons the

younger ones ask most about depression, psychiatry. None of us saw this

train coming before it hit. As part of being older you expect to come face

to face with frailties, but we were expecting to work to retirement and

beyond, and had nothing ready to fall back on.

aletta mes, vancouver, bc canada

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Site: http://www.aletta.0catch.com

[Guest guest]

Hi Aletta,

I agree with you, and I am only 39 and have not been

able to work for almost a year. However, the programs

do try to " get me trained for a career " . I have run

into some of the problems of thinking that because I

am single and sick that I want to be. So far from the

truth. I loved my job and career choice.

wanda

--- aletta mes aletta_mes@...> wrote:

> MSA has some differences when it is experienced by

> someone between 45 and 60

>

> - most of your friends work full-time, and at night

> you are to tired to

> socialize, so you are lonelier, isolated

> - those same friends haven't the time for errand

> running and helping out,

> because they work and have younger children

> - we still have kids or they've only just left (mine

> were 16 and 18 when I

> stopped being able to work), this is where the bulk

> of our energies have

> gone - are going to

> - this was the time we would have had to plan for

> our retirement (I'd

> easily have worked another twenty years) - saving,

> investing and working

> - we are more likely to be looked upon as lazy or

> malingering

> - if you are sick and single, likely you will stay

> that way, don't get out

> much to meet new people (and I'm positively allergic

> to pity)

> - your children are not far along enough to be able

> to accept caregiving

> responsibility - unlikely to own a home for instance

> - you are not eligible for programs, which sick

> seniors can take advantage

> of (assisted housing, social gatherings, advocacy)

> - programs more to our own age are set up for people

> for whom the prognosis

> incudes getting better and going back to work,

> (employment programs,

> education, rehabilitation, fitness) and not all

> communities have support

> groups for MSA, senior's supports will not help us,

> all the programs for

> people with terminal illness I've contacted have

> programs geared to those

> who have a year or less to live, and none of us can

> be that certain

> (cancer, AIDS, ALS etc.)

> - for the same reasons that joints are rarely

> replaced before senior years,

> doctors are hesitant to give certain treatments to

> younger patients

> - all our plans and ambitions have been halted, most

> of us were in the

> middle of a career, of raising family, of

> relationships not geared towards

> failing health (that was not supposed to happen yet)

>

> Sometimes I think this needs to be re stated, as one

> of the younger ones, I

> feel these points get forgotten. These are probably

> the reasons the

> younger ones ask most about depression, psychiatry.

> None of us saw this

> train coming before it hit. As part of being older

> you expect to come face

> to face with frailties, but we were expecting to

> work to retirement and

> beyond, and had nothing ready to fall back on.

>

> aletta mes, vancouver, bc canada

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> Site: http://www.aletta.0catch.com

>

> If you do not wish to belong to shydrager, you may

> unsubscribe by sending a blank email to

>

> shydrager-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

-Wanda

Anyone who thinks that you want to be this sick isnt worth your time

or effort. There are uncaring people in this world who think that

they will never be sick. Regardless, caring or uncaring I would not

wish this on anyone. I am 44 years old, married, with teenagers.

Being 44 and married isnt hard but the teenagers well " sometimes "

that isnt hard either. I always liked working also knowing that I had

my own money to help with the bills and having extra to do with

emergencies or just having money to do something we enjoy. When I

worked life was easier for all of us. I would be interested to find

out what job they are training you for. I finally went back to

college and had been excepted in the Computer Science program. I had

gone a year and then realized I could not memorize everything I

needed to memorize any more. Quiting school was one of the hardest

things I had to deal with. I loved going to school, had a 4.0 average

and met alot of nice people. (ok so I bragging a little about my

average, but hey I am proud of that fact especially a woman in her

40's) I know that we feel like we been cheated but believe me

regardless of how old you are you never really think you are that old

in your head and heart if you are 30 or 80. The sad thing is our

bodies have to remind us how old we are. This disease is not

something I would wish on anyone no matter the age. I do understand

though what you mean that at an older age way past retirement it

might be a little easier to deal with the fact that you are this

sick but even then I am not sure we would. I think we all would like

to think that when we are in our 80's or 90's that we could just lay

down one night on our pillow and not wake up again. To die at an old

age and no pain. We just have to make every day count for something

and remember the good things and pray that tomorrow will be better.

God Bless,

Belinda

-- In shydrager@y..., LaWanda Bell wrote:

> Hi Aletta,

>

> I agree with you, and I am only 39 and have not been

> able to work for almost a year. However, the programs

> do try to " get me trained for a career " . I have run

> into some of the problems of thinking that because I

> am single and sick that I want to be. So far from the

> truth. I loved my job and career choice.

>

> wanda

> --- aletta mes wrote:

> > MSA has some differences when it is experienced by

> > someone between 45 and 60

> >

> > - most of your friends work full-time, and at night

> > you are to tired to

> > socialize, so you are lonelier, isolated

> > - those same friends haven't the time for errand

> > running and helping out,

> > because they work and have younger children

> > - we still have kids or they've only just left (mine

> > were 16 and 18 when I

> > stopped being able to work), this is where the bulk

> > of our energies have

> > gone - are going to

> > - this was the time we would have had to plan for

> > our retirement (I'd

> > easily have worked another twenty years) - saving,

> > investing and working

> > - we are more likely to be looked upon as lazy or

> > malingering

> > - if you are sick and single, likely you will stay

> > that way, don't get out

> > much to meet new people (and I'm positively allergic

> > to pity)

> > - your children are not far along enough to be able

> > to accept caregiving

> > responsibility - unlikely to own a home for instance

> > - you are not eligible for programs, which sick

> > seniors can take advantage

> > of (assisted housing, social gatherings, advocacy)

> > - programs more to our own age are set up for people

> > for whom the prognosis

> > incudes getting better and going back to work,

> > (employment programs,

> > education, rehabilitation, fitness) and not all

> > communities have support

> > groups for MSA, senior's supports will not help us,

> > all the programs for

> > people with terminal illness I've contacted have

> > programs geared to those

> > who have a year or less to live, and none of us can

> > be that certain

> > (cancer, AIDS, ALS etc.)

> > - for the same reasons that joints are rarely

> > replaced before senior years,

> > doctors are hesitant to give certain treatments to

> > younger patients

> > - all our plans and ambitions have been halted, most

> > of us were in the

> > middle of a career, of raising family, of

> > relationships not geared towards

> > failing health (that was not supposed to happen yet)

> >

> > Sometimes I think this needs to be re stated, as one

> > of the younger ones, I

> > feel these points get forgotten. These are probably

> > the reasons the

> > younger ones ask most about depression, psychiatry.

> > None of us saw this

> > train coming before it hit. As part of being older

> > you expect to come face

> > to face with frailties, but we were expecting to

> > work to retirement and

> > beyond, and had nothing ready to fall back on.

> >

> > aletta mes, vancouver, bc canada

> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> > Site: http://www.aletta.0catch.com

> >

> > If you do not wish to belong to shydrager, you may

> > unsubscribe by sending a blank email to

> >

> > shydrager-unsubscribe@y...

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >