Re: Predictable jerky spouse behavior..MALE POV

[Guest guest]

...

From this side of the fence...and trying to empathize the scenario

from this side...it's something that I would take directly to the

table with him on. You're going through some changes and allowed

some going nutz room....so, you two are fabulous together before and

now, with this issue as the exception. Just sneak up behind him with

a No.2 shovel...whack him once on the back of the skull, tie him up

and then have a long talk....just like you told everyone here; tell

him too, kiddo.

He might have some concerns of his own...maybe not about you, but

about himself that he's worried to express to you. So, you've

doubled up on something quite out of the norm for most couples....yak

it over. You guys are good enough together pre-WLS, that post-WLS

should make things considerably more pleasant...unless ya clam up and

stop communicating.

Shovel or iron skillet...either one will drop him in his tracks long

enough for a chat.

Dan

rny 10.13.98

EdWaits,MD-Atlanta

> Ok,

> I have to chime in here. Perhaps this is perverse,

> perhaps I am

> messed up in the head, but here is another twist in

> the post wls

> relationship experience that I just have to share.

>

> I had WLS 3/22/01. I did it for me. I did not expect

> my husband too

> (though I secretly hoped he would). My husband has

> been my

> cheerleader, compliments me all of the time, is

> awesome in so many

> ways. Everyone's happy. Husband has WLS 11/8/01 and I

> am praising him

> and we are doing great - everyone is so proud etc.

> THEN I stop losing

> weight (I am at 166# 5'8 " ) and he doesnt, ok cool- he

> has further to

> go than I do....but he is getting DARN attractive

> (current weight 255

> 6'0 " ), he never asks where I am going, never gets

> jealous, no little

> green monster has ever been seen behind those hazel

> eyes. I, however,

> have insecurities that have surfaced that rival any

> guy I have ever

> seen. I wonder, why would he stay with me? Am I a good

> enough WIFE?

> He married me when he was 410#. Did he just settle and

> now will be

> looking for someone better? I am supportive,

> complimentary, honest,

> monogomous etc and I know I am a good wife, but now

> that we have both

> changed so much I have insecurities and he doesn't.

> WHY NOT? Why

> isn't he worried I ask- why isn't he jealous? NO

> FAIR!! So maybe I am

> perverse for wishing my husband had just a tinge of

> jealousy but why

> is it that I am worried and he isn't?

>

> Ahhhh the mind, such a twisted thing!

>

> We have a great marraige, are best freinds, share

> hobbies, are

> supportive of each other and think alike on most

> things, I couldn't

> ask for a better partner/husband......so what's wrong

> with ME???

>

>

> Sincerely,

> Latour

> 3/22/01 Lap BPD/DS

> 324/166 -158#

>

> Chuck

> 11/8/01 Lap BPD/DS

> 410/255 -155#

>

> http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=llatour

[Guest guest]

...

From this side of the fence...and trying to empathize the scenario

from this side...it's something that I would take directly to the

table with him on. You're going through some changes and allowed

some going nutz room....so, you two are fabulous together before and

now, with this issue as the exception. Just sneak up behind him with

a No.2 shovel...whack him once on the back of the skull, tie him up

and then have a long talk....just like you told everyone here; tell

him too, kiddo.

He might have some concerns of his own...maybe not about you, but

about himself that he's worried to express to you. So, you've

doubled up on something quite out of the norm for most couples....yak

it over. You guys are good enough together pre-WLS, that post-WLS

should make things considerably more pleasant...unless ya clam up and

stop communicating.

Shovel or iron skillet...either one will drop him in his tracks long

enough for a chat.

Dan

rny 10.13.98

EdWaits,MD-Atlanta

> Ok,

> I have to chime in here. Perhaps this is perverse,

> perhaps I am

> messed up in the head, but here is another twist in

> the post wls

> relationship experience that I just have to share.

>

> I had WLS 3/22/01. I did it for me. I did not expect

> my husband too

> (though I secretly hoped he would). My husband has

> been my

> cheerleader, compliments me all of the time, is

> awesome in so many

> ways. Everyone's happy. Husband has WLS 11/8/01 and I

> am praising him

> and we are doing great - everyone is so proud etc.

> THEN I stop losing

> weight (I am at 166# 5'8 " ) and he doesnt, ok cool- he

> has further to

> go than I do....but he is getting DARN attractive

> (current weight 255

> 6'0 " ), he never asks where I am going, never gets

> jealous, no little

> green monster has ever been seen behind those hazel

> eyes. I, however,

> have insecurities that have surfaced that rival any

> guy I have ever

> seen. I wonder, why would he stay with me? Am I a good

> enough WIFE?

> He married me when he was 410#. Did he just settle and

> now will be

> looking for someone better? I am supportive,

> complimentary, honest,

> monogomous etc and I know I am a good wife, but now

> that we have both

> changed so much I have insecurities and he doesn't.

> WHY NOT? Why

> isn't he worried I ask- why isn't he jealous? NO

> FAIR!! So maybe I am

> perverse for wishing my husband had just a tinge of

> jealousy but why

> is it that I am worried and he isn't?

>

> Ahhhh the mind, such a twisted thing!

>

> We have a great marraige, are best freinds, share

> hobbies, are

> supportive of each other and think alike on most

> things, I couldn't

> ask for a better partner/husband......so what's wrong

> with ME???

>

>

> Sincerely,

> Latour

> 3/22/01 Lap BPD/DS

> 324/166 -158#

>

> Chuck

> 11/8/01 Lap BPD/DS

> 410/255 -155#

>

> http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=llatour

[Guest guest]

Dan, your is a very lucky woman.

Hugs,

in NJ

****************************************

In a message dated 10/16/2002 8:52:44 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

dlturner@... writes:

> Anywho...the caveat here is...I'm just too exceptional and that my

> comments do not necessarily reflect the modus of less exceptional

> men.

>