RE: Need _Compassionate_ advice

October 9, 2002

Feel free to e-mail me anytime. I can see you going into shock moving from CA

to MN. Maybe you just need more time to settle in. Do something to make

yourself happy, it doesn't have to cost $$. Paint you toe nails, go window

shopping, get a pet from the shelter. I've had some ups and downs this year

too. I am currently in group therapy, which I look forward to going. I also

attend self help meetings at night.

Janna

Need " Compassionate " advice

Hi everyone. I introduced myself a couple of months ago. And my

first post after that got very " quip- short " responses.

I have my ups and downs like all of you I'm sure. I just can't seem

to get this under control. If you don't really have a heart and

cannot respond from experience, please don't! I am looking for a

sincere response that I can do something with. With that said, I

would like to know if just doing Protein shakes for a few days is

ok. I had a Distal RNY with gallbladder removal in Feb. 2001. I

lost 167 lbs. I had started at 406. I am walking without the cane I

had before surgery, I look a lot better, and I can walk and sit most

anywhere without trouble. BUT...the emotional eating and the

lonliness have gotten to me. I've been in Minnesota for 3 years and

I don't think I've ever been anywhere that I felt so alone. I

basically lived in Los Angeles California for 28 years prior. I just

can't make friends here. And the area I live in is the worst! If

your not catholic or don't have a family and children you might as

well not be here! So given that all of this is happening, and no, I

cannot financially afford to move. I'm in therapy. And I don't

think anything I've heard from therapy or others has worked. I don't

know, maybe I'm just too different. I just can't feel happy about

this surgery. I want so much to eat sugar, like pie and ice cream !

I know I knew this was the way it would be. I know that I still have

50 lbs or more to lose, I'm at 230 now and I'm 5'7. Its just I can't

feel good and I've tried to keep eating meat and chicken and my blood

levels are barely ok. I don't have my test results yet given to me,

I'm going to get them in November. Until then, I was wondering if

anyone would care to be my email buddy and help me get through this.

I am really reaching out here, so if your not sincere, don't bother,

please. I'm not always depressed, but am off and on. I did go off of

the Celexa because it wasn't helping and they wanted to put me on

something stronger. I'm very sensitive to drugs and can't take high

dosages, even with surgery. I'm very spiritual, connected to God and

Goddess. I'm doing all I can through meditation and faith in

God/Goddess to keep going. I thought from reading the posts maybe my

answer is protein drinks. But, I'm not sure. Has anyone experienced

some of this? Also, the worst thing is, I am very attractive and Men

now come on to me that didn't and its very scary. I think I'm having

to deal with a lot at once, I don't think keeping people down with

drugs so they don't " emote " so much that it bothers people, or that

keeps them from feeling anything so everyone around them is happy. I

don't think its right! I am real, I feel, and I have the right to

express who I am. But it seems the medical profession wasn't just

happy controlling my weight, but now they want my emotions too! Yes,

I'm a bit angry, but I'll get over it. I just want to hope that

there is someone else out there who is real! This is not an easy

journey and it sucks doing it alone. Maybe I'm too real for you, but

I'm still putting this out.. for one more time. I hope you will find

it in your heart to hear where I'm coming from. Blessings to you all

in your journey. Thanks, I know this is long.

sunstar

Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

October 9, 2002

I am sorry things are so tough right now. I know that disorienting feeling of

moving to what feels like the " wrong " place. Time will help, but you need

friends now. We're here. It also may help to just get out and do something --

volunteer somewhere, go to a group of some kind. Just to start being around

people again. Therapy is also an option and it has helped me during times of

real loneliness.

You asked about doing protein shakes for a few days. I like to do that when I

need to feel back in control, get off the sugar and carbs, get back to basics.

It works for me. Three days is about right. I make sure I get LOTS of protein

during those days -- if I feel like having a shake at any point during those

days, I have one. I also sometimes have a protein bar at least once a day during

that time. Just to have something to chew.

I don't have any answers for you but I did want you to know I'm thinking about

you. Take care --

hugs,

Ann

October 9, 2002

I am sorry things are so tough right now. I know that disorienting feeling of

moving to what feels like the " wrong " place. Time will help, but you need

friends now. We're here. It also may help to just get out and do something --

volunteer somewhere, go to a group of some kind. Just to start being around

people again. Therapy is also an option and it has helped me during times of

real loneliness.

You asked about doing protein shakes for a few days. I like to do that when I

need to feel back in control, get off the sugar and carbs, get back to basics.

It works for me. Three days is about right. I make sure I get LOTS of protein

during those days -- if I feel like having a shake at any point during those

days, I have one. I also sometimes have a protein bar at least once a day during

that time. Just to have something to chew.

I don't have any answers for you but I did want you to know I'm thinking about

you. Take care --

hugs,

Ann

October 9, 2002

Are you giving in to the desire to emotionally eat? Or are you

fighting it off? It wasn't completely clear to me, but for now I

will assume that you ARE emotionally eating.

First of all, I've done a lot of therapy for my eating disorder. The

one thing that is clear to me is that food is my way of self-

medicating. It is my way to STOP feeling whatever it is that I'm

feeling.

I can't help but wonder if your resistance to prescription medication

stems from your own desire to self-medicate with food. You like it.

It works. So why screw things up with a prescription? I could

understand if that were you motivation. But at the end of the day,

it's a self-destructive motivation.

In short, I would revisit the idea of a stronger prescription to deal

with the depression. Again, YMMV, but my experience has been that

eating is a way to bury those feelings that are too overwhelming to

deal with. You say you want to experience the emotions, but then you

push them down with food.

Just something to think about.

--

October 9, 2002

Are you giving in to the desire to emotionally eat? Or are you

fighting it off? It wasn't completely clear to me, but for now I

will assume that you ARE emotionally eating.

First of all, I've done a lot of therapy for my eating disorder. The

one thing that is clear to me is that food is my way of self-

medicating. It is my way to STOP feeling whatever it is that I'm

feeling.

I can't help but wonder if your resistance to prescription medication

stems from your own desire to self-medicate with food. You like it.

It works. So why screw things up with a prescription? I could

understand if that were you motivation. But at the end of the day,

it's a self-destructive motivation.

In short, I would revisit the idea of a stronger prescription to deal

with the depression. Again, YMMV, but my experience has been that

eating is a way to bury those feelings that are too overwhelming to

deal with. You say you want to experience the emotions, but then you

push them down with food.

Just something to think about.

--

October 9, 2002

Well, HECK!!!!!!!!! Going from CA to MN..........that is CULTURE shock

at it's best! Not to mention you are probably sun deprived.....at least

during the winter! Try to get some full spectrum light bulbs and put

them in the lamps that you spend the most time around. And I agree with

who ever said......do something for yourself.....pedicure...manicure

etc. Are you artistic? Or want to be? Take a drawing class at the local

community college. Actually there are all sorts of cool classes at these

little colleges. Like dogs/cats? Always wanted a pure bred one? Join an

all breed dog/cat club. Way cool people there. Have a favorite breed?

See if you can find a breed club to join. OK.....so I am a DOG person!

We belong to TWO breed clubs. LOL Do the soup/salad thing at lunch and

don't SAY anything. If asked.........you weren't very hungry today.

Sheesh. Not any of their business. It tastes fine......but you just

aren't hungry. They will be envious...wishing THEY could push away from

a meal like that. If you have the time.....do volunteer

work......volunteers are always appreciated. Like babies? You could

volunteer to go to the nearest hospital and hold premies.

Again.......dogs......you could rescue one from the pound.....do

obedience with it....earn it's Canine Good Citizen.....join the Delta

Society and do therapy work with the dog. Doesn't have to be a

particular breed to do that. Ok, ok......I am OFF the dogs. LOL

Hope there are some ideas that trigger something that appeals to you.

Debbie in Gig Harbor

ladybostons@...

www.paws2print.com

October 9, 2002