Re: Fwd: medical stories

[Guest guest]

These stories were so funny! Thanks for the laughs!

God bless,

Belinda

> Thought you might enjoy these stories

>

> A man comes into the ER and yells, " My wife's going to have her

baby in the

> cab! " I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the

lady's dress,

> and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that

there were

> several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.

> Dr. Mark Mac, San , TX

>

> At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an

elderly and

> slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. " Big

breaths, " I

> instructed. " Yes, they used to be, " remorsed the patient.

> Dr. Byrnes, Seattle, WA

>

> I was performing a complete physical, including the visual

acuity test. I

> placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, " Cover

your right

> eye with your hand. " He read the 20/20 line perfectly. " Now your

left. "

> Again, a flawless read. " Now both, " I requested. There was

silence. He

> couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and

discovered

> that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there

with both

> his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

> Dr. Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

>

> During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his

cardiologist, he

> informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of

his

> medications. " Which one? " I asked. " The patch. The nurse told me

to put on

> a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to

put it! " I

> had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't

see... Yes,

> the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions

include

> removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

> Dr. St.Clair, Norfolk, VA

>

> While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I

asked, " How long

> have you been bedridden? " After a look of complete confusion she

> answered... " Why, not for about twenty years-when my husband was

alive. "

> Dr. Swanson, Corvallis, OR

>

> I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, " So how's your

breakfast

> this morning? " " It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I

can't seem

> to get used to the taste, " the patient replied. I then asked to

see the

> jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labelled " KY Jelly. "

> Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

>

> A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman

with purple

> hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of

tattoos, and

> wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined

that the

> patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for

immediate surgery.

> When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the

staff noticed

> that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was

a tattoo

> that read, " Keep off the grass. " Once the surgery was completed,

the

> surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which

said " Sorry,

> had to mow the lawn. "