worm eater

[Guest guest]

Nobody loves me.

Everybody hates me.

I'm gonna eat some worms.

Big, fat juicy worms,

little tiny squirmy worms,

down by the garden gate.

First you bite the heads off,

then you suck the guts out,

then you throw the skins awaaaay.

Nobody likes me.

Everybody hates me.

I'm gonna eat some woooooorms.

Sigh. Ok, I feel an eensy weensy bit better now.

Bummer day. Fourth day of cold rain. Kids have been sick. Hasbeen is

saying hurtful things again. Went to the photo site to cheer myself

up by looking at success stories. It kind of backfired. The before

and afters look so fantastic. How did everyone get so slim and

normal looking? How did they do it so fast? I'm two years out and

admittedly have lot 130 pounds and am proud of it. But I am still

real fat. I have to believe, to trust, that my continued hard work

will eventually pay off. 70 more pounds. This is the hardest I've

worked for anything in my life and it is sooo slooow. Poor me.

Pitiful, pitiful me. Time for another round of the worm song.

Sigh. I needed that. I have to remind myself that I can't expect to

wake up every single day feeling perky and positive. Ups and downs

in emotions are just a normal part of life. No avoiding these

occassional poopy days. It's how I get through them that counts.

Before I used to get down and feel bad all day, or for days, and by

night fall, I was so stressed out with negative emotions, there

seemed to be no way to keep from compulsively sedating myself with

munchies.

That won't happen today. I've expressed myself here instead of

bottling it all up. I went to the gym and tried to work it out. I

just called a girlfriend who had to put her cat down this week and

consoled her. Now I'm going to go read a book for 45 minutes and

then fix something special for the kids for dinner.

This too shall pass. And I do so love that worm song. Makes me

laugh everytime.

Smiles,

Vicki A.