HMO's; sounds so true

[Guest guest]

Thought you would all enjoy this!

Hi Jean,

Thought you'd get a real laugh at this HMO joke.

Hope all is well with everyone.

Jan

Thought you might enjoy this!!!

Health Care Reality Check!Frequently Asked Questions About Health CareBy LubarQ. What does HMO stand for?A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "Hey, Moe!" Its roots go backto a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe , who discovered that a patientcould be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hardenough in the eyes. Modern practice replaces the physical finger poke withhi-tech equivalents such as voice mail and referral slips, but the resultremains the same.Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?A. No. Only those you need.Q. I just joined a new HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor Iwant?A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurerwill provide you with a book listing all the doctors who were participatingin the plan at the time the information was gathered. These doctorsbasically fall into two categories--those who are no longer accepting newpatients, and those who will see you but are no longer part of the plan. Butdon't worry--the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting newpatients has an office just a half day's drive away!Q. What are pre-existing conditions?A. This is a phrase used by the grammatically challenged when they want totalk about existing conditions. Unfortunately, we appear to be pre-stuckwith it.Q. Well, can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions?A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment. Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. Itried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should Ido?A. Poke yourself in the eye.Q. I have an 80/20 plan with a $200 deductible and a $2,000 yearly cap. Myinsurer reimbursed the doctor for my out-patient surgery, but I'd alreadypaid my bill. What should I do?A. You have two choices. Your doctor can sign the reimbursement check overto you, or you can ask him to invest the money for you in one of those greatoffers that only doctors and dentists hear about, like windmill farms orfrog hatcheries.Q. What should I do if I get sick while traveling?A. Try sitting in a different part of the bus.Q. No, I mean what if I'm away from home and I get sick?A. You really shouldn't do that. You'll have a hard time seeing your primarycare physician. It's best to wait until you return, and then get sick.Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handlemy problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplantright in his office?A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $10co-payment, there's no harm giving him a shot at it.Q. What accounts for the largest portion of health care costs?A. Doctors trying to recoup their investment losses.Q. Will health care be any different in the next century?A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

[Guest guest]

Jean

Thanks for the good laugh, I needed that one :>)

Sally