God's Diet Plan .. Saturday morning humor

[Guest guest]

Subject: God's Diet Plan

And God populated the earth with broccoli and

cauliflower and spinach and

green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and

Woman would live long

and healthy lives. And Satan created Mc's. And

Mc's brought

forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said

to Man, " You want

fries with that? " And Man said, " Super size them. " And

Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might

keep her figure that

man found so fair. And Satan froze the yogurt, and he

brought forth

chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to

put on the yogurt.

And woman gained pounds.

And God said, " Try my crispy fresh salad. " And Satan

brought forth creamy

dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. And there

was ice cream for

dessert. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, " I have sent your heart healthy

vegetables and olive oil with

which to cook them. " And Satan brought forth

chicken-fried steak from

Cracker Barrel so big it needed its own platter. And

Man gained pounds, and

his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved

to lose those extra

pounds. And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote

control so Man would

not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and

ESPN2. And Man gained

pounds.

And God said, " You're running up the score, Devil. "

And God brought forth

the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and

brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the

starchy center into

chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour

cream dip also. And Man

clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips

swaddled in

cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, " It is good. " And

Man went into cardiac

arrest.

And God sighed, and created quadruple bypass surgery,

angioplasties, and

stints . . . . . And Satan created HMO's...

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judy in austin

5'9 " of wild Texas redhead

SRVG 5/99 380 lbs

Ext. Abdominoplasty 5/00 180 lbs

Current 165-170 lbs

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