Feeling snake bit!

[Guest guest]

Just when you think things can't get worse....sure enough they can!

Some of you may remember when I worked at Household and after 7

years was demoted (for no reason) and eventually left the job. At that

time, I was out of work for several months but finally got a job as an

administrative assistant for an insurance company. (and thanks Louise for

all the good advice and support at the time!)

Well, Monday morning the other shoe finally dropped! I arrived at

work bright and early to find my boss in already. Now she never gets in

much before 10 am. She said she came in early to talk with me. We went

into her office and she told me that she was letting me go. That after

nearly 2 years in the job she thought it wasn't working out and that it

wasn't the job for me. I was blindsided! Hit by a truck! We talked for 15

minutes, I foolishly tried to talk her out of it, but her mind was made up.

(Actually, she was stiff as a rock and very, very nervous and I took some

pleasure in her discomfort)

So I packed up my stuff and was unceremoniously shown the door.

I suppose the good news is that she will pay unemployment. I can't

fight this at all because Nevada is a right to work state and she doesn't

really need a reason to let me go.

I didn't cry....at least not till I got home. Then I pretty much

spent the day crying on and off. Tuesday was a little better. I pulled a

resume together and started half-heartedly reading the want ads.

I just can't figure out what to do though. I'm so unfocused and still

in shock I suppose. I know that after 6 weeks off without pay for my

reconstructive surgery our bank account has taken a solid hit. This surely

isn't going to help. Can't sleep, can't concentrate (good news-can't eat!)

I just keep going through the past week, month, year trying to see what the

hell I did wrong? Why after all this time did she decide it wasn't a good

fit? I'm wondering if it had anything to do with the time off from my

reconstructive surgeries. I have had 3 in 8 months. Even though she said I

could take leave....maybe it was an issue. Damn it! I know I worked hard

and I know I put in at least 50 hours a week. In 21 months I got a crappy

$.50 raise. I asked for performance reviews after 6 months and a year.

Never got one.

And now to add to the stress....we just bought a new car a month ago,

and of course the payments are higher and now my income is lower! DH went

to the doctor today and he is having rotator cuff surgery on 8/5 and he'll

be home for 4-6 weeks. Now he'll get 100% pay but he will not get his shift

diff, so that will also make a cut in our pay. Money is going to become a

major, major issue in our house. And now the weenie is still taking about

going to Disneyland in October!!

And did I mention the toothache I have too?? Oh hell, it's like

domino's. Things are just falling apart all around me. I'm helpless to

stop this chain of events.

We've been going through some rough times with our marriage the past few

months too...what is this going to do with it now? Hubby says I have OCD

and am a control freak (I think we're having a power struggle. I've always

run things and now he's feeling the need to flex) I still see him having

anger problems. If I ask him to get me a drink it becomes a major issue.

He has told his psych doctor about his anger and he increased his effexor.

But my cheapo hubby won't fill the new script till he completes his old

ones. So it will be about 3 weeks till he gets on the new meds. Oh

hell...I hope they got some for me!!

Oh my friends....thank goodness for you all. I know you care and I know

I can come to you. I can tell you all things I dare not speak out loud to

my hubby or family.

Thanks so much for letting me vent...or melt down...or whatever...

Sue