ok grads.....Im so off track....and know its emotional lol!

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

Ever since my TT on may 13 2002 I havent been myself. I did do my vits,

protein, and eat healthy (as usual)...but I feel myself slipping away. Im

sick of myself! I cant blame my fat! I know that was a shield, I dont wanna

be looked at as normal so Im sabotaging. Its like unpurpose. I need

support. Im kinda scared! I question myself......do I really wanna kill

myself? (I mean its not literally) just in action. Why am I such a negative

sabotage? Why cant I accept me and only wanna punish? I am on meds, I am

looking for concealing, but I hate the " uuhhuu " shrinks! I can get more info

on line or on the phone.l I dont hang out w/ friends much only family and

online groups. When I disappear....somethings wrong. Ive been gone a month.

So Im reaching out, but ashamed to let it out to the couple hundred peeps in

the group. Can anyone relate? Or should I cross post on off track.. Ok I

will. Id appreciate any feedback! I was so addicted to health! Where did

that go? And why do I want to sleep my life away? Thanks Donna