Body Image stuff

[Guest guest]

Good morning! While I don't post often, I have read the posts for

over a year now. I had a major realization this weekend (although

it's simple as can be) & thought I would share it as I'm sure I'm not

the only one to deal with this.

This past week I hit 2 big milestones in my life....made it below

200# and am now wearing most things in large or just xl. Both are

huge (no pun intended LOL) things for me.

On Sat, after trying on 5 different outfits to wear to my salsa

class, I suddenly feel FAT again. This kept going during and after

the class. I had all the old feelings of looking inferior, being the

largest one in the class (although I am not by far), not wanting to

look people in the eye which is hard to accomplish while dancing,

etc. So, on the way home I called a wls buddy and whined to her - it

helped. Once I got home I kept thinking on the subject, suddenly

realizing that I go through this EVERY time I reach a big milestone

in loss. See, before surgery I wore or should have worn 4-5X, now L-

XL....a year ago even after weight loss of about 60 pounds I still

wore 26-28 comfortably. I never thought that I would wear larges in

my wildest dreams...so, what I have realized is that my mind is

telling me lies and I have been listening to them. I have been

thinking that this is all a fairy tale, and one day I will wake up

and be the same way I was. WELL, no more! As of yesterday, I have

committed myself to stop listening to the lies that my head are

telling me, to stop believing that I haven't or won't change

anymore.

Here's the kicker....you can stop believing things all day, but if I

don't replace those belief's with something else than they really

haven't left just been put on the back burner. So, I commit to

replacing those thoughts with the truth. The truth is that I am a

beautiful person inside & out; I am worth receiving and giving love;

I am accepted and received by God, church, family and friends; I will

continue to change and grow emotionally and spiritually; I will be an

example of God's glory through all of this. The bottom line is that

while I may " look " normal on the outside, the inside is still having

to become normal (if that's possible that is..LOL). So, I am excited

by this, excited to see what is out there for me in the next month

and year......

April