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Re: graceful answers

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Alice,

I think the direct approach works best with pushy people. When someone asks me

how much weight I lost, I just smile and say, " I don't quote numbers " with a

tone that I like to think says, " end of conversation. " . No one's ever pushed

further.

Helen

RNY 12/22/99

350/170 (up from 150)

Alice Grillo wrote:

> Sharon wanted some answers to this question:

> I still struggle with knowing what to tell people who haven't seen me in a

> while and are shocked at my new bod. " What did you do? " " Any special plan

> or program? " ... If I say diet and exercise and I don't eat sugar anymore

> (all true) I feel like I am telling a half-truth. At the same time, part of

> me, I guess most of me, feels that unless they are MO themselves and are

> looking for help, it falls under the MYOB catagory. I am a very honest,

> forthcoming person but I have a hard time with this one, especially when my

> kids are with me and they hear me fumble my story. I just don't feel like

> going into all the details with people who are just curious/nosy. Any

> advice??

>

> Sharon,

> Yep, advice. I'm great at giving it, not so great at following it. But it

> depends on who is doing the asking. If it is a loved one, then you should

> tell them you had a medical procedure, and are watching your weight, and do

> not really care to talk about it, thanks for noticing how your efforts have

> been paying off.

>

> If they are acquaintances only, then the best answer in the book comes from

> Dear Abby. You can look them straight in the eye and tell them you'd rather

> not talk about your personal issues, or you can smile sweetly and say: " Why

> do you ask? " or, more boldly: " Why is it important for you to know that

> about me? " Either question will put them on the spot, and you can still get

> out of telling. I have a nosy, distant relative who just insisted on

> knowing how much weight I had lost. Now, I told the world, on my own. But

> it struck me as none of her business, and I didn't care to share it with

> her. So I said that I had lost a " great deal " of weight. She asked me

> about 7 times in the course of the day, and each time, I answered vaguely.

> Finally, she said, " you aren't going to tell me, are you? " to which I

> replied " that's right! " I laughed, and changed the subject. You don't owe

> anyone any personal information that you don't want to share.

>

> Alice in NY

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

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