graceful answers

[Guest guest]

Sharon wanted some answers to this question:

I still struggle with knowing what to tell people who haven't seen me in a

while and are shocked at my new bod. " What did you do? " " Any special plan

or program? " ... If I say diet and exercise and I don't eat sugar anymore

(all true) I feel like I am telling a half-truth. At the same time, part of

me, I guess most of me, feels that unless they are MO themselves and are

looking for help, it falls under the MYOB catagory. I am a very honest,

forthcoming person but I have a hard time with this one, especially when my

kids are with me and they hear me fumble my story. I just don't feel like

going into all the details with people who are just curious/nosy. Any

advice??

Sharon,

Yep, advice. I'm great at giving it, not so great at following it. But it

depends on who is doing the asking. If it is a loved one, then you should

tell them you had a medical procedure, and are watching your weight, and do

not really care to talk about it, thanks for noticing how your efforts have

been paying off.

If they are acquaintances only, then the best answer in the book comes from

Dear Abby. You can look them straight in the eye and tell them you'd rather

not talk about your personal issues, or you can smile sweetly and say: " Why

do you ask? " or, more boldly: " Why is it important for you to know that

about me? " Either question will put them on the spot, and you can still get

out of telling. I have a nosy, distant relative who just insisted on

knowing how much weight I had lost. Now, I told the world, on my own. But

it struck me as none of her business, and I didn't care to share it with

her. So I said that I had lost a " great deal " of weight. She asked me

about 7 times in the course of the day, and each time, I answered vaguely.

Finally, she said, " you aren't going to tell me, are you? " to which I

replied " that's right! " I laughed, and changed the subject. You don't owe

anyone any personal information that you don't want to share.

Alice in NY