Guest guest Posted April 7, 2002 Report Share Posted April 7, 2002 Subject: Fix'n the Outhouse Fix'n the Outhouse Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out....."Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."So....Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma, There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!"Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around, and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!" To which Ma replies, "Hurts, don't it ? ! " xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx The Golden Telephone An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. For his first chapter he decided to write about American churches. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would work his way across the country from South to North. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read $10,000 per call". The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way. Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. "O.K., thank you," said the American. He then traveled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston, and New York. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it. The American, upon leaving Vermont saw a sign for Canada and decided to see if Canadians had the same phone. He arrived in Montreal, and again, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "10 cents per call." T he American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in every state the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?" The priest smiled and answered, "You're in Canada now son, it's a local call". cheerssheila Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear .... all of which have the potential to turn a life around. --- Leo Buscaglia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2002 Report Share Posted April 8, 2002 I wasn't sure if Sheila was implying that only Canadians would know about outhouses or what. Ours are made of snow up here though so you do tend to stick to them in cold weather. > > Subject: Fix'n the Outhouse > > > Fix'n the Outhouse > > Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out..... > " Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse! " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2002 Report Share Posted April 8, 2002 I wasn't sure if Sheila was implying that only Canadians would know about outhouses or what. Ours are made of snow up here though so you do tend to stick to them in cold weather. > > Subject: Fix'n the Outhouse > > > Fix'n the Outhouse > > Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out..... > " Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse! " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2002 Report Share Posted April 8, 2002 I wasn't sure if Sheila was implying that only Canadians would know about outhouses or what. Ours are made of snow up here though so you do tend to stick to them in cold weather. > > Subject: Fix'n the Outhouse > > > Fix'n the Outhouse > > Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out..... > " Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse! " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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