Guest guest Posted March 3, 2001 Report Share Posted March 3, 2001 > > > > >How to Install LOVE > > > > > >Customer Service (CS) Rep. : Yes, Ma'am, how can I > > >help you today? > > > > > >Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided > > >to install LOVE. Can you guide me through the process? > > > > > >CS Rep. : Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to > > >proceed? > > > > > >Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think > > >I'm ready to install now. What do I do first? > > > > > >CS Rep. : The first step is to open your HEART. Have > > >you located your HEART ma'am? > > > > > >Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other > > >programs running right now. Is it okay to install > > >while they are running? > > > > > >CS Rep. : What programs are running ma'am? > > > > > >Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, > > >LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running > > >right now. > > > > > >CS Rep. : No problem. LOVE will gradually erase > > >PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It > > >may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no > > >longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually > > >overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own > > >called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to > > >completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. > > >Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly > > >installed. Can you turn those off ma'am? > > > > > >Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you > > >tell me how? > > > > > >CS Rep. : My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and > > >invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as > > >necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have > > >been completely erased. > > > > > >Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing > > >itself automatically. Is that normal? > > > > > >CS Rep. : Yes. You should receive a message that says > > >it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you > > >see that message? > > > > > >Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed? > > > > > >CS Rep. : Yes, but remember that you have only the > > >base program. You need to begin connecting to other > > >HEART's in order to get the upgrades. > > > > > >Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What > > >should I do? > > > > > >CS Rep. : What does the message say? > > > > > >Customer: It says " ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON > > >INTERNAL COMPONENTS. " What does that mean? > > > > > >CS Rep. : Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. > > >It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on > > >>external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your > > >HEART. It is one of those complicated programming > > >things, but in non-technical terms it means you have > > >to " LOVE " your own machine before it can " LOVE " > > >others. > > > > > >Customer: So what should I do? > > > > > >CS Rep. : Can you pull down the directory called > > > " SELF-ACCEPTANCE " ? Customer: Yes, I have it. > > > > > >CS Rep. : Excellent. You're getting good at this. > > > > > >Customer: Thank you. > > > > > >CS Rep. : You're welcome. Click on the following files > > >and then copy them to the " MYHEART " directory: > > >FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and > > >ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite > > >any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty > > >programming. Also, you need to delete > > >VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then > > >empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is > > >completely gone and never comes back. > > > > > >Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new > > >files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now > > >and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are > > >copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal? > > > > > >CS Rep. : Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but > > >eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper > > >time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be > > >able to handle it from here. One more thing before I > > >go. Customer: Yes? > > > > > >CS Rep. : LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its > > >various modules to everybody you meet. They will in > > >turn share it with other people and they will return > > >some similarly cool modules back to you. > > > > > >Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, > > >what's your name? > > > > > >CS Rep. : You can call me the Divine Cardiologist, > > >also known as The Great Physician, but most call me > > >God. Most people feel all they need is an annual > > >check-up to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer > > >(Me) suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for > > >maximum efficiency. Put another way, keep in > > >touch......... > > > > > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.