Re: Being Aware of What and Why You're Eating

[Guest guest]

I've been following this thread with interest. I seem to be unable

to get to the why's each time I want to eat the " wrong " foods. I do

realize the big picture is that the sugar foods (cookies, candy,

etc.) are used to fill voids in my life.

However, even knowing that, each time throughout the day when I want

to eat something, even if I try to stop and think why I want to eat

this food (meaning the junk food), I can't seem to answer that

question. I am thinking it is a lot habit, it having been almost a

lifetime habit, or at least a 35 year one out of my 48 years.

An example is I am sitting here at my desk at work and all of a

sudden I decide I want to eat something, not even being hungry. And

of course even though I have protein powders, protein bars, an apple,

a good healthy half sandwich, etc., I go for the brownies, cookies,

etc. I don't know why and don't seem to know how to get to the

reasons for it. I've had years of therapy and am in therapy now twice

a month but still can't understand why if I want/need to eat

something, I can't reach for something that will make me feel better

both physically and emotionally.

My therapist says I am continuing to punish myself the way my mother

did most of my life. That may be true but god almighty, at 48 years

young, isn't it time to break the habit and do what is good for me

and take better care of myself.

I tell myself daily, why are you doing this to yourself, you came

close to death after the WLS and still you persist in not taking care

of yourself the way you should be.

I went from 315 to 179 and am now going between 198 and 203 for the

past couple months. I had gained 10 lbs over the past year (surgery

June 2000) and then in June put on 10 lbs. I am trying to get out of

the " diet mentality " but having a hard time. I go a few days eating

very healthy and then a few days eating crap which keeps me from

gaining any more weight back but also just has me going up and down 5

lbs over and over never getting anywhere. Even having to buy jeans in

the next size, hard as that was, hasn't been enough to wake me up.

How do we " fix " our screwed up heads?????? I know the right things

to do, I just can't seem to do them.

....who started a short post and continued to ramble here!

> Your body has changed but not your mind. It's great that you see

what's

> going on. I believe, that is a major step. Being human though, bad

habits

> are hard to break. You have to be very aware of what and when you

eat. When

> it is time to eat, make sure you sit at the table with no other

> distractions. No TV, reading, or even extensive conversation. Pay

attention

> to how you chew, putting down your fork in between every bite.

Enjoy the

> meal by taking the time. Spend the time on you and your meal so

that you

> don't feel cheated. I've found that if I'm busy while eating that

in my

> mind, it's like I never ate. I would keep eating at scheduled

times. This

> will be something to look forward to. If you wait until you are

hungry, you

> may over eat.

>

> Another thing about having had WLS, we cannot eat very much at

once. This is

> great in the weight loss process. I myself, find myself eating

possibly 5

> small meals a day. I don't eat anymore than normal. I only eat

approximately

> half meals. My surgeon told me that females need only 2 cups of

actual food

> a day and males 3 cups. People wonder how I can eat so much and not

gain.

> Even my dad, who I didn't tell about my surgery until a year ago,

thought I

> ate constantly. In the time it takes most people to eat a large

meal, I've

> only eaten a little. They don't see how much I eat but how often.

>

> One other suggestion is treat yourself occasionally. I don't eat

candy much

> but I love ice cream. I do treat myself to it once in awhile.

Frozen yogurt

> is a personal favorite. It's something good for me and it makes me

feel

> better than a piece chocolate cake.

>

> The last thing I want to mention is that we all go through periods

of

> cravings. Most of the time we think it's for goodies. Our bodies

actually

> crave what we need. When I crave ice cream, I believe it's actually

the

> calcium I need. When we figure it out the need, we can find the

right food

> for the craving. For women, there is a time during the month that

we crave

> more than others. Some years ago, I read a book about determining

the sex of

> your child, when trying to get pregnant with my third child. While

I found

> the entire book interesting, one section explained why we women

crave and

> the reasons for it. I will try to find references if interested.

> Anyway....be aware of all aspects of eating and you will learn how

to keep

> it under control.

>

> I hope this helps,

> Dawn

[Guest guest]

I've been following this thread with interest. I seem to be unable

to get to the why's each time I want to eat the " wrong " foods. I do

realize the big picture is that the sugar foods (cookies, candy,

etc.) are used to fill voids in my life.

However, even knowing that, each time throughout the day when I want

to eat something, even if I try to stop and think why I want to eat

this food (meaning the junk food), I can't seem to answer that

question. I am thinking it is a lot habit, it having been almost a

lifetime habit, or at least a 35 year one out of my 48 years.

An example is I am sitting here at my desk at work and all of a

sudden I decide I want to eat something, not even being hungry. And

of course even though I have protein powders, protein bars, an apple,

a good healthy half sandwich, etc., I go for the brownies, cookies,

etc. I don't know why and don't seem to know how to get to the

reasons for it. I've had years of therapy and am in therapy now twice

a month but still can't understand why if I want/need to eat

something, I can't reach for something that will make me feel better

both physically and emotionally.

My therapist says I am continuing to punish myself the way my mother

did most of my life. That may be true but god almighty, at 48 years

young, isn't it time to break the habit and do what is good for me

and take better care of myself.

I tell myself daily, why are you doing this to yourself, you came

close to death after the WLS and still you persist in not taking care

of yourself the way you should be.

I went from 315 to 179 and am now going between 198 and 203 for the

past couple months. I had gained 10 lbs over the past year (surgery

June 2000) and then in June put on 10 lbs. I am trying to get out of

the " diet mentality " but having a hard time. I go a few days eating

very healthy and then a few days eating crap which keeps me from

gaining any more weight back but also just has me going up and down 5

lbs over and over never getting anywhere. Even having to buy jeans in

the next size, hard as that was, hasn't been enough to wake me up.

How do we " fix " our screwed up heads?????? I know the right things

to do, I just can't seem to do them.

....who started a short post and continued to ramble here!

> Your body has changed but not your mind. It's great that you see

what's

> going on. I believe, that is a major step. Being human though, bad

habits

> are hard to break. You have to be very aware of what and when you

eat. When

> it is time to eat, make sure you sit at the table with no other

> distractions. No TV, reading, or even extensive conversation. Pay

attention

> to how you chew, putting down your fork in between every bite.

Enjoy the

> meal by taking the time. Spend the time on you and your meal so

that you

> don't feel cheated. I've found that if I'm busy while eating that

in my

> mind, it's like I never ate. I would keep eating at scheduled

times. This

> will be something to look forward to. If you wait until you are

hungry, you

> may over eat.

>

> Another thing about having had WLS, we cannot eat very much at

once. This is

> great in the weight loss process. I myself, find myself eating

possibly 5

> small meals a day. I don't eat anymore than normal. I only eat

approximately

> half meals. My surgeon told me that females need only 2 cups of

actual food

> a day and males 3 cups. People wonder how I can eat so much and not

gain.

> Even my dad, who I didn't tell about my surgery until a year ago,

thought I

> ate constantly. In the time it takes most people to eat a large

meal, I've

> only eaten a little. They don't see how much I eat but how often.

>

> One other suggestion is treat yourself occasionally. I don't eat

candy much

> but I love ice cream. I do treat myself to it once in awhile.

Frozen yogurt

> is a personal favorite. It's something good for me and it makes me

feel

> better than a piece chocolate cake.

>

> The last thing I want to mention is that we all go through periods

of

> cravings. Most of the time we think it's for goodies. Our bodies

actually

> crave what we need. When I crave ice cream, I believe it's actually

the

> calcium I need. When we figure it out the need, we can find the

right food

> for the craving. For women, there is a time during the month that

we crave

> more than others. Some years ago, I read a book about determining

the sex of

> your child, when trying to get pregnant with my third child. While

I found

> the entire book interesting, one section explained why we women

crave and

> the reasons for it. I will try to find references if interested.

> Anyway....be aware of all aspects of eating and you will learn how

to keep

> it under control.

>

> I hope this helps,

> Dawn

[Guest guest]

I've been following this thread with interest. I seem to be unable

to get to the why's each time I want to eat the " wrong " foods. I do

realize the big picture is that the sugar foods (cookies, candy,

etc.) are used to fill voids in my life.

However, even knowing that, each time throughout the day when I want

to eat something, even if I try to stop and think why I want to eat

this food (meaning the junk food), I can't seem to answer that

question. I am thinking it is a lot habit, it having been almost a

lifetime habit, or at least a 35 year one out of my 48 years.

An example is I am sitting here at my desk at work and all of a

sudden I decide I want to eat something, not even being hungry. And

of course even though I have protein powders, protein bars, an apple,

a good healthy half sandwich, etc., I go for the brownies, cookies,

etc. I don't know why and don't seem to know how to get to the

reasons for it. I've had years of therapy and am in therapy now twice

a month but still can't understand why if I want/need to eat

something, I can't reach for something that will make me feel better

both physically and emotionally.

My therapist says I am continuing to punish myself the way my mother

did most of my life. That may be true but god almighty, at 48 years

young, isn't it time to break the habit and do what is good for me

and take better care of myself.

I tell myself daily, why are you doing this to yourself, you came

close to death after the WLS and still you persist in not taking care

of yourself the way you should be.

I went from 315 to 179 and am now going between 198 and 203 for the

past couple months. I had gained 10 lbs over the past year (surgery

June 2000) and then in June put on 10 lbs. I am trying to get out of

the " diet mentality " but having a hard time. I go a few days eating

very healthy and then a few days eating crap which keeps me from

gaining any more weight back but also just has me going up and down 5

lbs over and over never getting anywhere. Even having to buy jeans in

the next size, hard as that was, hasn't been enough to wake me up.

How do we " fix " our screwed up heads?????? I know the right things

to do, I just can't seem to do them.

....who started a short post and continued to ramble here!

> Your body has changed but not your mind. It's great that you see

what's

> going on. I believe, that is a major step. Being human though, bad

habits

> are hard to break. You have to be very aware of what and when you

eat. When

> it is time to eat, make sure you sit at the table with no other

> distractions. No TV, reading, or even extensive conversation. Pay

attention

> to how you chew, putting down your fork in between every bite.

Enjoy the

> meal by taking the time. Spend the time on you and your meal so

that you

> don't feel cheated. I've found that if I'm busy while eating that

in my

> mind, it's like I never ate. I would keep eating at scheduled

times. This

> will be something to look forward to. If you wait until you are

hungry, you

> may over eat.

>

> Another thing about having had WLS, we cannot eat very much at

once. This is

> great in the weight loss process. I myself, find myself eating

possibly 5

> small meals a day. I don't eat anymore than normal. I only eat

approximately

> half meals. My surgeon told me that females need only 2 cups of

actual food

> a day and males 3 cups. People wonder how I can eat so much and not

gain.

> Even my dad, who I didn't tell about my surgery until a year ago,

thought I

> ate constantly. In the time it takes most people to eat a large

meal, I've

> only eaten a little. They don't see how much I eat but how often.

>

> One other suggestion is treat yourself occasionally. I don't eat

candy much

> but I love ice cream. I do treat myself to it once in awhile.

Frozen yogurt

> is a personal favorite. It's something good for me and it makes me

feel

> better than a piece chocolate cake.

>

> The last thing I want to mention is that we all go through periods

of

> cravings. Most of the time we think it's for goodies. Our bodies

actually

> crave what we need. When I crave ice cream, I believe it's actually

the

> calcium I need. When we figure it out the need, we can find the

right food

> for the craving. For women, there is a time during the month that

we crave

> more than others. Some years ago, I read a book about determining

the sex of

> your child, when trying to get pregnant with my third child. While

I found

> the entire book interesting, one section explained why we women

crave and

> the reasons for it. I will try to find references if interested.

> Anyway....be aware of all aspects of eating and you will learn how

to keep

> it under control.

>

> I hope this helps,

> Dawn

[Guest guest]

Hi Helene,

Can I just say ME TOO to what you said below. I'm not one of those

people who eats something and then gets mad at myself. I am just very

good at the avoidance game, just telling myself I want it and then

not thinking about it, for a while anyway. That lasts as long as I

eat the crap.

Like the previous post said, maybe asking myself why is not the right

thing to ask and I need to start asking myself is it worth it. Of

course 99% of the time the answer would be no, but my usual way would

then just say oh the hell with it. I need to get a grip. I certainly

don't want to gain any more weight back and really need and want to

at least lose the regain I've had.

Have to start really looking at my priorities and trying to come to

terms with just why eating the junk is so important and necessary to

me at the moment I want it. Again, I know what to do. It's doing it

that I need to do!

> I did have an " AHA " moment last week. I have a young relative who

has not

> been able to hold a job, and can not seem to find himself. I was

thinking

> about him, and wondering why he has such a poor work ethic (his

parent worked

> hard all their lives), and thought that he has a weird sense of

entitlement -

> it's like he feels he deserves money without having to work for it.

> Suddenly, I felt an AHA - because I realized that is exactly how I

feel about

> food. I have a warped sense of entitlement... - I think about a

food. I

> want the food. I am entitled to the food. Even though I know it's

bad for

> me, I'm going to have the food.

>

> I don't know where this comes from, but I am trying to be aware of

it now,

> and work through the feelings.

>

> Helene