caregiving dilemma

[Guest guest]

Barb: Thank you. Yes. I have thought about many, many options for my mom, including asking students to help out, but because I do not live with her and I do not have any authority in the situation, I cannot hire anyone. Her husband controls what happens in their home, and he wants no advice/interference from anyone in our family. I am grateful that he provides for her needs in terms of home/shelter/food--I could not do this if it were up to me--but I can't convince him to look into any creative alternatives for the kind of help and care she needs. Honestly, I feel quite helpless in this situation. At some point I think I am going to have to risk alienating him altogether and just step in and do some things that need to be done for my mother's own good, but right now, that would cause her a lot of unneeded stress. I'm trying to work within the "system" of their marriage, and to honor their relationship. It's hard, though, to watch things NOT happen. I teach at a university; I think students are a wonderful resource, and I would encourage others to contact their local colleges to ask for student help. Some nursing and education schools surely would have caring individuals who would be willing to work for the experience of it; also, you can post "help wanted" ads in college financial aid offices. They usually have a board for "Off Campus Jobs" and students often check for part-time employment opportunities. If you need help, and haven't tried this avenue, it might be worth a shot. Sincerely, Re daughter caregiver/Mom MSA , have you thought about a student to help your mama? Here in Arlington the college and the high schools have students looking for odd time jobs. Maybe you could find one who is a book keeping or accountant student. One with good character references so she need not worry about letting some one else know her business. Just a thought. Barb in Arlington. -- "Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservations." Elton Trueblood