Guest guest Posted October 31, 2002 Report Share Posted October 31, 2002 Many women are afraid of their mammogram, but there is no > need to worry. > > By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the > exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally > prepared for the test. And best of all, you can do these > simple exercises right in your home. > > EXERCISE ONE: Open your refrigerator door and insert one > breast in door. Shut as hard as possible and lean on the door > for good measure. Deep breath...hold that position for five > seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough. > > EXERCISE TWO: Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature > of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your > clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast > wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly > back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened > and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast. > > EXERCISE THREE: Freeze two metal bookends over night. Strip > to the waist. Invite a total stranger into the room. Ask the > stranger to place one of your breasts between the frozen > bookends. Have them smash the bookends together as hard as > they can. Repeat with other breast. Set up an appointment > with the stranger to meet next year and do it again. > > YOU ARE NOW TOTALLY PREPARED! AND, just a thought for all > the women out > there: MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, > MENopause. Ever notice how all of women's problems start with > MEN?...and when we have real trouble, it's HYSterectomy! > > Send this to all the women you know and brighten their day. > AND, don't forget to have a mammogram this year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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