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Fw: This is dam funny!!!

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> I thought the only agency that are this dumb were in Idaho!!!!!

>

>

>

>

> > This was an actual letter sent to De Vries from The Michigan

> > > > > Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. Wait

till

> > you

> > > > > read this guy's response - but read the entire letter before you

> get

> > > > > to the response.

> > > > > _____

> > > > >

> > > > > Mr. De Vries

> > > > > 2088 Dagget

> > > > > Pierson, MI 49339

> > > > >

> > > > > Dear Mr. De Vries:

> > > > > SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm

> > County

> > > > >

> > > > > It has come to the attention of the Department of environmental

> > > > > Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the

> above

> > > > > referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the

> legal

> > > > > landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized

> > > > > activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams

> across

> > > > > the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior

to

> > > > > the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's

> > > > > files shows that no permits have been issued.

> > > > >

> > > > > Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in

> > > > > violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural

> > > > > Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public

> Acts

> > > > > of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan

> > > > > Compiled Laws, annotated.

> > > > >

> > > > > The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams

> > > > > partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and

> > > > > flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this

nature

> > > > > are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department

> > > > > therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this

> > > > > location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by

> > > > > removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream

> channel.

> > > > > All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31,

> > > > > 1998.

> > > > >

> > > > > Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed

> so

> > > > > that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.

> > > > > Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized

> > > > > activity on the site may result in this case being referred for

> > > > > elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate

> your

> > > > > full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me

at

> > > > > this office if you have any questions.

> > > > >

> > > > > Sincerely,

> > > > > L. Price

> > > > > District Representative

> > > > > Land and Water Management Division

> > > > >

> > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> > > > >

> > > > > RESPONSE

> > > > > Dear Mr. Price:

> > > > > Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County

> > > > >

> > > > > Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to

> respond

> > > > > to. First of all, Mr. De Vries is not the legal landowner

and

> /

> > > > > or contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. I am the legal

> > owner

> > > > > and a couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process

of

> > > > > constructing and maintaining two wood " debris " dams across the

> outlet

> > > > > stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize,

nor

> > > > > supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly

offended

> > > > > that you call their skillful use of natural building materials

> > > > > " debris. "

> > > > >

> > > > > I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate

> their

> > > > > dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I

can

> > > > > safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam

skills,

> > > > > their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam

> > persistence,

> > > > > their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your

> > > > > request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must

first

> > > > > fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam

> > activity.

> > > > >

> > > > > My first dam question to you is:

> > > > > (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers

> or

> > > > >

> > > > > (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform

to

> > > > > said dam request?

> > > > >

> > > > > If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers,

> > > > > through the Freedom of Information Act I request completed copies

> of

> > > > > all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been

> issued.

> > > > > Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part

301,

> > > > > Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and

Environmental

> > > > > Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being

sections

> > > > > 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

> > > > >

> > > > > I have several concerns. My first concern is - aren't the

beavers

> > > > > entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are

> > > > > financially destitute and are unable to pay for said

> representation -

> > > > > so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The

> > > > > Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams

failed

> > > > > during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is

a

> > > > > natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect.

> In

> > > > > other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather

> > than

> > > > > harassing them and calling their dam names.

> > > > >

> > > > > If you want the stream " restored " to a dam free-flow condition -

> > > > > please contact the beavers - but if you are going to arrest them

> > (they

> > > > > obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter being

unable

> > to

> > > > > read English) -- be sure they are read the Miranda rights first.

> As

> > > > > for me, I am not going to cause more flooding or dam debris jams

by

> > > > > interfering with these dam builders.

> > > > >

> > > > > If you want to hurt these dam beavers - be aware I am sending a

> copy

> > > > > of your dam letter and this response to PETA.

> > > > >

> > > > > If your dam department seriously finds all dams of this nature

> > > > > inherently hazardous and truly will not permit their existence in

> > this

> > > > > State, I seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this

dam

> > > > > policy or once again both the Spring Pond Beavers and I will

scream

> > > > > prejudice! In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a

> right

> > > > > to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the

> > grass

> > > > > is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam right

than

> I

> > > > > do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural

> > > > > Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it

> > should

> > > > > protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment

> (Beavers'

> > > > > Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam

> case

> > > > > can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now.

> Why

> > > > > wait until 1/31/98? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam

> ice

> > > > > then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to

contact

> /

> > > > > harass them then.

> > > > >

> > > > > In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real

> > > > > environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the

> bears.

> > > > > Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe

> you

> > > > > should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers

> > > > > alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch

your

> > > > > step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!)

> > > > >

> > > > > Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to

> > > > > contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this

> response

> > > > > to your day office via another government organization - the dam

> > USPS.

> > > > > Maybe, someday, it will get there.

> > > > >

> > > > > Sincerely,

> > > > >

> > > > > L. Tvedten

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

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