Employee Evaluations

[Guest guest]

THE FOLLOWING QUOTES WERE TAKE FROM ACTUAL EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE

EVALUATIONS:

" I would not allow this employee to breed. "

" This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. "

" He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve

them. "

" Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming. "

" It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm. "

" This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a

definite won't be. "

" Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a

trap. "

" When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet. "

" This young lady has delusions of adequacy. "

" This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better. "

" Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all

together. "

" A gross ignoramus ----144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus. "

" He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless. "

" He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier. "

" I would like to go hunting with him sometime. "

" He's been working with glue too much. "

" He has a knack for making strangers immediately. "

" He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room. "

" When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell. "

" If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one. "

" A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on. "

" Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled. "

" A prime candidate for natural deselection. "

" Donated his brain to science before he was done using it. "

" If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. "

" If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change. "

" If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean. "

" Takes him 12 hours to watch 60 minutes. "

" The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead. "