Re: Re: True Confessions

[Guest guest]

OK, so I'm on a business trip, away from my routine...full of ideas that I would work out every day at the hotel. Instead, I'm still so flippin' tired that I literally cannot walk straight. i've been throwing up A LOT, and I'm sure I'm dehydrated. I can keep some things down, but alot comes right back up.

So you mention (Laurie) the "I can't eat dat blues". I started my period (this is my second period post-surgery and they are HEAVY.) The hotel hands you hot chocolate chip cookies when you check in. Stupidly, I didn't throw them away, I just had the in the room, and they weren't even a temptation. Then the period started and the chocolate craving started. I ate the freakin' cookies! I can't even believe I did that. I think it was the blues you are talking about. I NEVER THOUGHT IN A MILLION YEARS THAT I WOULD DO SOMETHING SO FREAKIN STUPID!!! Here I am, six weeks out...and I'm chompin on chocolate chip cookies.

One time I did accidentally have a bite of carrot cake (I say accidentally because I've been dieting forever, and the ritual is that my ex would get a dessert, and he would give me a bite, and that would be that. Well, he handed me the fork (I was reading the paper at a cafe, NOT BEING MINDFUL) and I had it down my gullet before it hit me, "DUH...you stupid moron...you had SURGERY, you aren't supposed to EAT THIS CRAP!!!" So, I was fearful of public projectile vomiting or what have you...and NOTHING. I was just fine.

SO, I thought, "Well, I'm kinda glad I can eat sugar from time to time...although I'll have to keep that under control...and the sugar thing is something for way off in the future and only on rare rare rare occasions."

Skip forward to the cookies. 6 weeks after surgery. I was so incredibly ill I thought I was going to die. Now, I've been the vomit queen for the past two weeks...but not because I was eating anything wrong. Just because I have a collicky pouch at present. YOu know, salmon good today, bad tomorrow...that kind of thing. I haven't ever eaten anything I shouldn't eat...except for the erroneous bite of cake.

And so, I've vomited. But this...THIS was unbelievably horrible. My heart pounded really fast for a long time...I puked like there was no tomorrow...violently. I was clammy, had a fever, felt dizzy...bottom line: I never want to SEE another chocolate chip cookie again in my life.

Lessons learned the hard and stupid way. Never again. Never again. NEVER AGAIN.

Oy.

Only being honest here...because, well...I think it's important. Popel fail, make stupid mistakes...and hopefully, learn from them.

Robynncecilia wrote:

I am alot better since I heard from you guys. That is what is awsome about this group. I felt different and alone until you guys stated that it is what you went through also. I will not regain the weight before surgery as a matter of fact I want to lose 5 more before then so surgery will be easier.Hwat a crazy eciting, scary journey we are on!Cecilia> > Oh wait, it isn't until the 24, I got the "I can't eat> this no more blues" a little closer to surgery time. > Ok, then maybe Miriam has a point. Maybe it's more> something like "i should have been able to do this on> my own. i shouldn't need this surgery" I had them> blues shortly after getting a date. I get lotsa> blues,

huh? Right now even I got em. They're the> "damn i hate that I can't eat dat blues" LOL> Laurie> > > > ____________________________________________________> Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page > http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs