Re: Reminders of why

[Guest guest]

Your post reminds me of something that happened to me about a year

ago. I tripped on the sidewalk and could not get up. This was

across the street from a very upscale restaurant. It was about 7:00

PM so there were many people coming and going. I struggled to get up

but was unable to. As I layed on the sidewalk I saw a window ledge a

few feet further down the sidewalk. I could not crawl to it cuz my

knees are in such bad shape that I cannot put my weight on them, so I

had to roll down the side walk and then with much struggling I was

able to grab onto the window ledge and pull myself up. At first I

felt very humiliated but it did not last long. I left there feeling

very angry that not one of the many people passing by offered me any

help, not even bothering to ask if I needed help. They just

pretended not to see me. It saddened me to think that there were so

many people so willing to just turn there heads the other way.

Shirley

In duodenalswitch@y..., kathysyear2001@a... wrote:

> In a message dated 5/13/2001 7:54:32 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

> lionrampart1@y... writes:

>

>

> >

> > I just cant remember wanting a year of my life to be over with

so

> > badly.

> > Just a little meloncholy this morning, but still so very

grateful

> > for this chance.

> >

>

> Meli,

> I can so so relate to this. I love the beach and wanted to go the

other night

> so my husband and I drove to VA beach after work for the evening.

> And I was struck again with how awful it is to be 317 lbs and how

much of

> life revolves around being fat.

> Walking any period of time is stenuous, crossing the street with

cars full of

> people makes me a nervous wreck wondering how many of those people

in the car

> are remarking of how huge I am. Your right the bathroom thing is

just

> downright terrible.

> We had to walk about 5 blocks to find a public bathroom and when I

did the

> handicap stall was occupied and the other ones were so small.

> It is totally humiliting that trying to get out of the bathroom you

have to

> almost sit on the toilet just to open the door.

> Then my dh wanted to sit on the beach and that is nice but I can't

hardly get

> up from the couch let alone the ground. So of course he had to get

me up.

>

> Last Saturday I was out front of our house, we live on a very busy

road and

> there was yet another accident, this time two people on a

motorcycle collided

> with a car and I went out and sat with the woman who was injured,

well I got

> down on the ground with her, but could not get up and I tried about

3

> different positions to try to get up and couldn't. It was so

humiliating

> because there were gobs of people around watching the accident. I

had to ask

> a lady standing next to me to help me up. That is pathetic and

beyond

> pathetic.

>

> How I long to be normal, I was so miserable after coming home from

the beach

> with myself. I can really relate Meli to wanting this year to be

over more

> than any other in my life. I still don't have 100% insurance

approval and

> have my second surgery date coming up. I talked to the woman this

week and

> she said that the dr's recommendation has been sent to her ( she

makes the

> final decision ) and she says " it is not bad news " . Well that's

real nice but

> I want to hear " you are approved " that to me is good news.

>

> Well anyway I am rambling.

> But thanks for listening.

> Kathy

> Dr. Elariny

> June 7

[Guest guest]

It is hard to believe that people can be so uncaring and apathetic, (read

ignorant) when someone needs a little help. Thanks for the reminder of why.

...

Unfortunately there are many out there that claim to have compassion but when put to the test suddenly show the shallowness they have when someone is not as they feel should be. I have never had that happen yet but I can only imagine the feelings you experienced. It scares me to think that someone could die because people treat us overweight people that way. I try to remind myself that when we all get our weight under control it will be to the benefit not only to ourselves but to other heavy people when we do come to their aid and give them some dignity after having been their ourselves.

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 58

NW Washington Medical

DR Heap, Richmond WA

Working on 1st appeal

[Guest guest]

It is hard to believe that people can be so uncaring and apathetic, (read

ignorant) when someone needs a little help. Thanks for the reminder of why.

...

Unfortunately there are many out there that claim to have compassion but when put to the test suddenly show the shallowness they have when someone is not as they feel should be. I have never had that happen yet but I can only imagine the feelings you experienced. It scares me to think that someone could die because people treat us overweight people that way. I try to remind myself that when we all get our weight under control it will be to the benefit not only to ourselves but to other heavy people when we do come to their aid and give them some dignity after having been their ourselves.

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 58

NW Washington Medical

DR Heap, Richmond WA

Working on 1st appeal

[Guest guest]

I too had a similar incident about a year ago. I was playing miniature golf

with my family when I tripped over a small curb. As I was trying to catch

myself, there was a low chain fence which I fell over, slid face down thru

some bushes and rocks, and stopped about 2 inches from a large lake in the

middle of this amusement park.

First of all, from my feet being tripped up in the chain and the awkward way

that

my body was lying, I could not get up. Secondly, at 475 pounds just trying to

get up normally is damn near impossible.

Anyway, it was a Saturday evening, about 6:00pm, and very crowded. As soon as

I fell and realized I couldn't get up, I raised my head to see who was around

to help me. All told there was probably about 50-60 people around and NOT ONE

of them would lend a hand. It took me a good 3-4 minutes to finally get on my

knees and then I had to rest before I could stand up. Boy was I pissed and

embarrassed.

Not only was this bad enough, but I had cuts and a black eye for the next 2

weeks which I had to explain about 100 times to family, friends and

co-workers (Yes boss, I really did trip and fall. No boss, I didn't get drunk

and get into a bar fight).

It is hard to believe that people can be so uncaring and apathetic, (read

ignorant) when someone needs a little help. Thanks for the reminder of why.

475

BMI 58

jinglebell4u@... wrote:

> Your post reminds me of something that happened to me about a year

> ago. I tripped on the sidewalk and could not get up. This was

> across the street from a very upscale restaurant. It was about 7:00

> PM so there were many people coming and going. I struggled to get up

> but was unable to. As I layed on the sidewalk I saw a window ledge a

> few feet further down the sidewalk. I could not crawl to it cuz my

> knees are in such bad shape that I cannot put my weight on them, so I

> had to roll down the side walk and then with much struggling I was

> able to grab onto the window ledge and pull myself up. At first I

> felt very humiliated but it did not last long. I left there feeling

> very angry that not one of the many people passing by offered me any

> help, not even bothering to ask if I needed help. They just

> pretended not to see me. It saddened me to think that there were so

> many people so willing to just turn there heads the other way.

>

> Shirley

>

>

> In duodenalswitch@y..., kathysyear2001@a... wrote:

> > In a message dated 5/13/2001 7:54:32 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

> > lionrampart1@y... writes:

> >

> >

> > >

> > > I just cant remember wanting a year of my life to be over with

> so

> > > badly.

> > > Just a little meloncholy this morning, but still so very

> grateful

> > > for this chance.

> > >

> >

> > Meli,

> > I can so so relate to this. I love the beach and wanted to go the

> other night

> > so my husband and I drove to VA beach after work for the evening.

> > And I was struck again with how awful it is to be 317 lbs and how

> much of

> > life revolves around being fat.

> > Walking any period of time is stenuous, crossing the street with

> cars full of

> > people makes me a nervous wreck wondering how many of those people

> in the car

> > are remarking of how huge I am. Your right the bathroom thing is

> just

> > downright terrible.

> > We had to walk about 5 blocks to find a public bathroom and when I

> did the

> > handicap stall was occupied and the other ones were so small.

> > It is totally humiliting that trying to get out of the bathroom you

> have to

> > almost sit on the toilet just to open the door.

> > Then my dh wanted to sit on the beach and that is nice but I can't

> hardly get

> > up from the couch let alone the ground. So of course he had to get

> me up.

> >

> > Last Saturday I was out front of our house, we live on a very busy

> road and

> > there was yet another accident, this time two people on a

> motorcycle collided

> > with a car and I went out and sat with the woman who was injured,

> well I got

> > down on the ground with her, but could not get up and I tried about

> 3

> > different positions to try to get up and couldn't. It was so

> humiliating

> > because there were gobs of people around watching the accident. I

> had to ask

> > a lady standing next to me to help me up. That is pathetic and

> beyond

> > pathetic.

> >

> > How I long to be normal, I was so miserable after coming home from

> the beach

> > with myself. I can really relate Meli to wanting this year to be

> over more

> > than any other in my life. I still don't have 100% insurance

> approval and

> > have my second surgery date coming up. I talked to the woman this

> week and

> > she said that the dr's recommendation has been sent to her ( she

> makes the

> > final decision ) and she says " it is not bad news " . Well that's

> real nice but

> > I want to hear " you are approved " that to me is good news.

> >

> > Well anyway I am rambling.

> > But thanks for listening.

> > Kathy

> > Dr. Elariny

> > June 7

>

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

" It saddened me to think that there were so

many people so willing to just turn there heads the other way. "

You lived out a fear that I have.

It is sad to think no one even stopped to ask if you were ok.

But I have to think too how hesitant someone might be to try to offer

to help pull soemone off the ground who was twice or three times

thier own weight.

When I had trouble getting up on the exam table I had to ask to put

my hand on the Drs shoulder to try to get up and he was so slight I

thought I might hurt him...

mary bmi 68

corona, ca

pre op 6/27/01 dr rabkin

cigna ppo

[Guest guest]

" It saddened me to think that there were so

many people so willing to just turn there heads the other way. "

You lived out a fear that I have.

It is sad to think no one even stopped to ask if you were ok.

But I have to think too how hesitant someone might be to try to offer

to help pull soemone off the ground who was twice or three times

thier own weight.

When I had trouble getting up on the exam table I had to ask to put

my hand on the Drs shoulder to try to get up and he was so slight I

thought I might hurt him...

mary bmi 68

corona, ca

pre op 6/27/01 dr rabkin

cigna ppo

[Guest guest]

" It saddened me to think that there were so

many people so willing to just turn there heads the other way. "

You lived out a fear that I have.

It is sad to think no one even stopped to ask if you were ok.

But I have to think too how hesitant someone might be to try to offer

to help pull soemone off the ground who was twice or three times

thier own weight.

When I had trouble getting up on the exam table I had to ask to put

my hand on the Drs shoulder to try to get up and he was so slight I

thought I might hurt him...

mary bmi 68

corona, ca

pre op 6/27/01 dr rabkin

cigna ppo

[Guest guest]

> > But I have to think too how hesitant someone might be to try to

offer to help pull soemone off the ground who was twice or three

times thier own weight.

I can understand that too, but what upset me is that no one even

asked is I needed help. I could have fallen from a stroke or a heart

attach. I could have needed someone to call the parametics. I would

not want someone to risk hurting themselves to help me up, but it

made me angry that I could have really needed medical attention and

no one even cared. I just know that if I saw someone laying on the

sidewalk, even if I could not physically help them I would offer to

call for help, or do what I could. Dont get me wrong, I am glad that

they didnt cuz it would have been more embarrassing if someone had

tried to help me, but it still made me feel sad and angry that people

could just turn there heads the other way.

[Guest guest]

> > But I have to think too how hesitant someone might be to try to

offer to help pull soemone off the ground who was twice or three

times thier own weight.

I can understand that too, but what upset me is that no one even

asked is I needed help. I could have fallen from a stroke or a heart

attach. I could have needed someone to call the parametics. I would

not want someone to risk hurting themselves to help me up, but it

made me angry that I could have really needed medical attention and

no one even cared. I just know that if I saw someone laying on the

sidewalk, even if I could not physically help them I would offer to

call for help, or do what I could. Dont get me wrong, I am glad that

they didnt cuz it would have been more embarrassing if someone had

tried to help me, but it still made me feel sad and angry that people

could just turn there heads the other way.

[Guest guest]

> > But I have to think too how hesitant someone might be to try to

offer to help pull soemone off the ground who was twice or three

times thier own weight.

I can understand that too, but what upset me is that no one even

asked is I needed help. I could have fallen from a stroke or a heart

attach. I could have needed someone to call the parametics. I would

not want someone to risk hurting themselves to help me up, but it

made me angry that I could have really needed medical attention and

no one even cared. I just know that if I saw someone laying on the

sidewalk, even if I could not physically help them I would offer to

call for help, or do what I could. Dont get me wrong, I am glad that

they didnt cuz it would have been more embarrassing if someone had

tried to help me, but it still made me feel sad and angry that people

could just turn there heads the other way.

[Guest guest]

It is hard to believe that people can be so uncaring and apathetic, (read

ignorant) when someone needs a little help. Thanks for the reminder of why.

YOu know it just peeves me to NO end that there are so many rude and insensitive people in this world.

I think us MO people are the most caring and loving people around, because we KNOW what it means to need to be loved and appreciated.

That just makes me sick to think that there would be people walking by and not trying to help someone that fell.

Just a couple of weeks ago I walked to 7-11 for a gallon of milk and an old drunk man had fallen and was on the ground and couldn't get up.

I went over and helped him up and believe me he used all of my strength to get up he did none of the work he was too drunk to do it.

Well hey I am not much but I sure would NEVER walk past someone and not help. Even though he was an old drunk man as far as I am concerned he is probably someones dad or someones son and he is important.

I swear when I do get thin I will always have compassion on the MO community because I so know what it is like and I wish more people would care.

Sorry that you had that humiliating experience the only thing that consoles me is that somehow I think through the hard times it does build character in us and we are better for it in the long run.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs to all of you}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Kathy B

June 7

Dr. Elariny

[Guest guest]

It is hard to believe that people can be so uncaring and apathetic, (read

ignorant) when someone needs a little help. Thanks for the reminder of why.

YOu know it just peeves me to NO end that there are so many rude and insensitive people in this world.

I think us MO people are the most caring and loving people around, because we KNOW what it means to need to be loved and appreciated.

That just makes me sick to think that there would be people walking by and not trying to help someone that fell.

Just a couple of weeks ago I walked to 7-11 for a gallon of milk and an old drunk man had fallen and was on the ground and couldn't get up.

I went over and helped him up and believe me he used all of my strength to get up he did none of the work he was too drunk to do it.

Well hey I am not much but I sure would NEVER walk past someone and not help. Even though he was an old drunk man as far as I am concerned he is probably someones dad or someones son and he is important.

I swear when I do get thin I will always have compassion on the MO community because I so know what it is like and I wish more people would care.

Sorry that you had that humiliating experience the only thing that consoles me is that somehow I think through the hard times it does build character in us and we are better for it in the long run.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs to all of you}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Kathy B

June 7

Dr. Elariny

[Guest guest]

It is hard to believe that people can be so uncaring and apathetic, (read

ignorant) when someone needs a little help. Thanks for the reminder of why.

YOu know it just peeves me to NO end that there are so many rude and insensitive people in this world.

I think us MO people are the most caring and loving people around, because we KNOW what it means to need to be loved and appreciated.

That just makes me sick to think that there would be people walking by and not trying to help someone that fell.

Just a couple of weeks ago I walked to 7-11 for a gallon of milk and an old drunk man had fallen and was on the ground and couldn't get up.

I went over and helped him up and believe me he used all of my strength to get up he did none of the work he was too drunk to do it.

Well hey I am not much but I sure would NEVER walk past someone and not help. Even though he was an old drunk man as far as I am concerned he is probably someones dad or someones son and he is important.

I swear when I do get thin I will always have compassion on the MO community because I so know what it is like and I wish more people would care.

Sorry that you had that humiliating experience the only thing that consoles me is that somehow I think through the hard times it does build character in us and we are better for it in the long run.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs to all of you}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Kathy B

June 7

Dr. Elariny

[Guest guest]

Dont get me wrong, I am glad that they didnt cuz it would have been more embarrassing if someone had tried to help me, but it still made me feel sad and angry that people could just turn there heads the other way.

Your right there is NO excuse for at least asking if they could do anything for you.

Kathy B

[Guest guest]

Dont get me wrong, I am glad that they didnt cuz it would have been more embarrassing if someone had tried to help me, but it still made me feel sad and angry that people could just turn there heads the other way.

Your right there is NO excuse for at least asking if they could do anything for you.

Kathy B

[Guest guest]

Dont get me wrong, I am glad that they didnt cuz it would have been more embarrassing if someone had tried to help me, but it still made me feel sad and angry that people could just turn there heads the other way.

Your right there is NO excuse for at least asking if they could do anything for you.

Kathy B

[Guest guest]

" I just know that if I saw someone laying on the

sidewalk, even if I could not physically help them I would offer to

call for help, or do what I could. "

I hear ya, I feel the same way. Theres no way I could not at least

offer to do something for them... doesnt give you much faith in

humanity does it.

mary

[Guest guest]

> Pre op fears are normal. Sort of like " bride's jitters " .

>

Hmm...

I was wondering why I have stayed so calm & cool about this surgery..

Guess its cuz I had no " bride's jitters " either.. I was anxious

because I planned the entire thing & had visions of no one coming,

everyone getting lost, & my makeup melting in the heat, but I knew for

certain that Grimm was my life partner, wedding or no.

I guess that means that this surgery will be the tool I use to live

longer with my beloved..

Hugs,

Liane

Preop.. 16 days.. Dr Warden =)

Ocean Springs, MS

[Guest guest]

Not to long ago I was searching for a present for my DH birthday and had walked miles from the carpark to this one shop only to find it was two stories up. I was tired and at the very last step right in front of the shop window, I missed my footing and luckily (but painfully) landed on the edge (skinning hands and knees). There was a gentleman a fair way behind me who raced up the stairs to help me up (much to my utter embarrasement). I sat winded for a moment, trying not to weep (I am an utter sook, it wasnt pain it was embarrasement) and this kind gentleman sat with me and cracked a joke about something and then asked if he could get me a glass of water or anything. I said no (being the horrid person I am - all I wanted to do was get rid of him and race away in shame). Sadly I don't think I even thanked him properly, that should be my shame, not that I am overweight.

I fell in front of the storage unit office one time. The owners came racing out and were really sweet as I sat mortified. I know what you mean...you really just want to get the hell out of there. At least I was treated with dignity. Anyone walking by or anyone else in that situation should be ashamed of themselves. I think they need a good knock on the head and a reminder that what makes the world is that we are all different...whether for better or worse...but no one deserves to be treated like they don't exist.

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 58

NW Washington Medical

DR Heap, Richmond WA

Working on 1st appeal

[Guest guest]

Not to long ago I was searching for a present for my DH birthday and had walked miles from the carpark to this one shop only to find it was two stories up. I was tired and at the very last step right in front of the shop window, I missed my footing and luckily (but painfully) landed on the edge (skinning hands and knees). There was a gentleman a fair way behind me who raced up the stairs to help me up (much to my utter embarrasement). I sat winded for a moment, trying not to weep (I am an utter sook, it wasnt pain it was embarrasement) and this kind gentleman sat with me and cracked a joke about something and then asked if he could get me a glass of water or anything. I said no (being the horrid person I am - all I wanted to do was get rid of him and race away in shame). Sadly I don't think I even thanked him properly, that should be my shame, not that I am overweight.

I fell in front of the storage unit office one time. The owners came racing out and were really sweet as I sat mortified. I know what you mean...you really just want to get the hell out of there. At least I was treated with dignity. Anyone walking by or anyone else in that situation should be ashamed of themselves. I think they need a good knock on the head and a reminder that what makes the world is that we are all different...whether for better or worse...but no one deserves to be treated like they don't exist.

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 58

NW Washington Medical

DR Heap, Richmond WA

Working on 1st appeal

[Guest guest]

Not to long ago I was searching for a present for my DH birthday and had walked miles from the carpark to this one shop only to find it was two stories up. I was tired and at the very last step right in front of the shop window, I missed my footing and luckily (but painfully) landed on the edge (skinning hands and knees). There was a gentleman a fair way behind me who raced up the stairs to help me up (much to my utter embarrasement). I sat winded for a moment, trying not to weep (I am an utter sook, it wasnt pain it was embarrasement) and this kind gentleman sat with me and cracked a joke about something and then asked if he could get me a glass of water or anything. I said no (being the horrid person I am - all I wanted to do was get rid of him and race away in shame). Sadly I don't think I even thanked him properly, that should be my shame, not that I am overweight.

I fell in front of the storage unit office one time. The owners came racing out and were really sweet as I sat mortified. I know what you mean...you really just want to get the hell out of there. At least I was treated with dignity. Anyone walking by or anyone else in that situation should be ashamed of themselves. I think they need a good knock on the head and a reminder that what makes the world is that we are all different...whether for better or worse...but no one deserves to be treated like they don't exist.

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 58

NW Washington Medical

DR Heap, Richmond WA

Working on 1st appeal

[Guest guest]

When I had trouble getting up on the exam table I had to ask to put my hand on the Drs shoulder to try to get up and he was so slight I thought I might hurt him...

I just went to a new PCP this past week. He had me lying down to exam me and when he wanted me to sit up...he held out his hand and said, let me help you. I would have been fine but I thought that gave me alot of insight to his personality and bedside manner. He's the best thing I've gotten out of this search for WLS so far!!

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 58

NW Washington Medical

DR Heap, Richmond WA

Working on 1st appeal

[Guest guest]

When I had trouble getting up on the exam table I had to ask to put my hand on the Drs shoulder to try to get up and he was so slight I thought I might hurt him...

I just went to a new PCP this past week. He had me lying down to exam me and when he wanted me to sit up...he held out his hand and said, let me help you. I would have been fine but I thought that gave me alot of insight to his personality and bedside manner. He's the best thing I've gotten out of this search for WLS so far!!

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 58

NW Washington Medical

DR Heap, Richmond WA

Working on 1st appeal

[Guest guest]

When I had trouble getting up on the exam table I had to ask to put my hand on the Drs shoulder to try to get up and he was so slight I thought I might hurt him...

I just went to a new PCP this past week. He had me lying down to exam me and when he wanted me to sit up...he held out his hand and said, let me help you. I would have been fine but I thought that gave me alot of insight to his personality and bedside manner. He's the best thing I've gotten out of this search for WLS so far!!

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 58

NW Washington Medical

DR Heap, Richmond WA

Working on 1st appeal

[Guest guest]

I know how you feel, . I was helping my dad at a craft show this

winter when the chair I was sitting in broke. I fell to the floor in a

sitting position with my back to the wall and my legs sprawed on either

side of a table leg. I knocked the poor man's painstakenly made crafts

all over the place. People stopped to stare. I couldn't roll over to get

up because my legs were straddling the table leg and I couldn't back up

because the wall was right there. I was finally able to pull my knee up

far enough to get around the table leg(more torn cartiledge) and roll over

and use the wall to get up. There stood my Dad, all 165 lbs. of him,

reaching his hand down to help me. I later told my mom that I had visions

of me and him rolling head over heels all around the Gym as we tried to

" help " each other up!!! Humor saves the day, again!

On a serious note, I can't tell you how much I appreciate that everyone

shares so much of themselves in this group. Until I found you all, I

thought I was so alone. I struggle to find the words to express how I

feel. I find that I am now more able to talk about the things that I

can't do because of my weight and ask for help when I need it. I hate to

use the expression, " misery loves company " so I'll change it to " misery

loves understanding " . Thanks so much to all of you out there.

>

> But I have to think too how hesitant someone might be to try to offer

> to help pull soemone off the ground who was twice or three times

> thier own weight.

>

> When I had trouble getting up on the exam table I had to ask to put

> my hand on the Drs shoulder to try to get up and he was so slight I

> thought I might hurt him...

>

> mary bmi 68

> corona, ca

> pre op 6/27/01 dr rabkin

> cigna ppo

>

>

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>