RE: Grocery store performances

[Guest guest]

Thanks everyone for being so willing to share these

stories! They certainly bring a smile to my face and

lift my spirits! Guess I'll have to share one of

mine....hmmmm....which one of the many shall it be....

hmmmm.....thinking....Angel

--- lionrampart@... wrote:

> Oh Nan I love that story!!! I'm so glad we can all

> laugh at

> ourselves (well, and eachother too).

> Last summer I was in the big middle of a very

> hectic day. I

> stopped at Taco bell, snarfed down a taco then went

> on a quick

> grocery run.

> I was standing in line to pay, when I notice the

> husband of the

> lady in fron of me openly staring at my breasts.

> Really staring.

> Shocked,I tried to maintain my cool, and finally

> stared right back

> trying to quietly confront his behavior. The minutes

> ticked by. But

> he was undaunted, his eyes were locked. Furious, I

> proceded through

> the line, and when I looked down to write my check I

> noticed a bright

> red diced tomato clinging to my black shirt. It

> looked like a big

> red nipple. It just hung there, defying gravity.

> The young mail

> cashier noticed it at the same time I did. He

> turned red, and after

> I picked it off and stood there wondering just what

> to do with it, he

> muttered a " umm, I uh... " , and held out his hand to

> take it. I

> handed it to him, and in his nervousness he thanked

> me, and I

> said " you're welcome " like it was normal or

> something. I half

> expected him to put it on the scale, weigh it and

> charge me...It was

> so awkward.

> Oh well, somebody has to keep the shoppers

> entertained. May as

> well be us!

> Meli

> BMI 47

> Dr Hess

> June 21,01

> Summer Solstice

>

>

>

>

> - In duodenalswitch@y..., leafyleaves@a... wrote:

> > ROFLOL X 100 ! I am sitting here with tears

> rolling down my face

> and having a

> > hard time breathing for laughing so hard. Grocery

> stores ... that

> reminds me

> > Many Many moons ago h had lost something like 60

> pounds (Atkins, I

> think) and

> > I was feeling pretty spry in a bright blue dress.

> I cruised into

> the Grocery

> > store on my home from work (very busy time in the

> store, lines

> everywhere)

> > and I am negotiating my way along the front from

> the door over to

> the vegie

> > section in search of a celebratory salad (Atkins

> about to fail ).

> As I am

> > trucking along, I feel a strange sensation -- the

> hem of my skirt

> seems to be

> > hitting lower and lower on my leg. I look down.

> Not the skirt.

> MY SLIP has

> > Slipped down and about a foot of white lacey

> petticoat is hanging

> below the

> > nice blue dress. Too far gone to hitch back up

> with some deft

> twitching and

> > wiggling at the waist, and between weight loss and

> elastic failure,

> there is

> > nothing to be done. Still feeling spry and

> cleaver-- I think, I

> will just

> > step out of the slip and stuff it in my hand bag

> real quick. I stop

> in an

> > open space between two lines. I deftly pull my

> right foot out of

> the slip.

> > I bend over and grab the slip whilst I prepare to

> liberate the left

> foot. I

> > attempt to gather slip up. Something is wrong.

> The slip is not

> coming up.

> > OH NOO! I am hopping up and down, the dang thing

> caught on the

> heel of my

> > left shoe. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MARKET IN

> THE EVENING RUSH

> HOUR A 200

> > POUND WOMAN IN A BRIGHT BLUE DRESS IS HOPPING UP

> AND DOWN TUGGING A

> WHITE

> > LACY PETTICOAT WHICH IS CAUGHT ON THE HEEL OF HER

> SHOE. Can you

> say

> > " inconspicuous " ? NOT! I finally realize my

> efforts to pull the

> slip up are

> > the problem. I drop the slip, and step over it.

> I then pick it up

> and stuff

> > it in my purse. I then look the three people

> who are dead in

> front of me

> > and staring in the eyes and say as perkily as

> possible " how

> embarrassing! "

> > and haul off as fast as I can without calling more

> attention to

> myself for

> > the salad.

> > I really do recommend 1) taking stock of the

> condition of the

> elastic in

> > undergarments as you loose weight and doing the

> mending and taking

> up in a

> > timely manner; and 2) taking acting improv

> classes. One can almost

> carry off

> > these little contretemps of every day life with

> panache, or the

> appearance

> > thereof, when you accept there is no quick way

> out, and you need a

> good line

> > to exit on.

> > I will recount my adventure with the rain, the man

> hole cover and

> the

> > stranger forced to help the MO woman at the art

> museum in the near

> future.

> > Nan E. (spreading sunshine and lacy petticoats

> wherever she goes)

>

>

>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

Maybe ya'll should send these stories to Reader's Digest and make alittle

money with em!!

Jerry, Pre-op, Dr. Booth, MS

>

>Reply-To: duodenalswitch

>To: duodenalswitch

>Subject: Re: Grocery store performances

>Date: Thu, 17 May 2001 08:04:24 -0700 (PDT)

>

>Thanks everyone for being so willing to share these

>stories! They certainly bring a smile to my face and

>lift my spirits! Guess I'll have to share one of

>mine....hmmmm....which one of the many shall it be....

>hmmmm.....thinking....Angel

>

>--- lionrampart@... wrote:

> > Oh Nan I love that story!!! I'm so glad we can all

> > laugh at

> > ourselves (well, and eachother too).

> > Last summer I was in the big middle of a very

> > hectic day. I

> > stopped at Taco bell, snarfed down a taco then went

> > on a quick

> > grocery run.

> > I was standing in line to pay, when I notice the

> > husband of the

> > lady in fron of me openly staring at my breasts.

> > Really staring.

> > Shocked,I tried to maintain my cool, and finally

> > stared right back

> > trying to quietly confront his behavior. The minutes

> > ticked by. But

> > he was undaunted, his eyes were locked. Furious, I

> > proceded through

> > the line, and when I looked down to write my check I

> > noticed a bright

> > red diced tomato clinging to my black shirt. It

> > looked like a big

> > red nipple. It just hung there, defying gravity.

> > The young mail

> > cashier noticed it at the same time I did. He

> > turned red, and after

> > I picked it off and stood there wondering just what

> > to do with it, he

> > muttered a " umm, I uh... " , and held out his hand to

> > take it. I

> > handed it to him, and in his nervousness he thanked

> > me, and I

> > said " you're welcome " like it was normal or

> > something. I half

> > expected him to put it on the scale, weigh it and

> > charge me...It was

> > so awkward.

> > Oh well, somebody has to keep the shoppers

> > entertained. May as

> > well be us!

> > Meli

> > BMI 47

> > Dr Hess

> > June 21,01

> > Summer Solstice

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > - In duodenalswitch@y..., leafyleaves@a... wrote:

> > > ROFLOL X 100 ! I am sitting here with tears

> > rolling down my face

> > and having a

> > > hard time breathing for laughing so hard. Grocery

> > stores ... that

> > reminds me

> > > Many Many moons ago h had lost something like 60

> > pounds (Atkins, I

> > think) and

> > > I was feeling pretty spry in a bright blue dress.

> > I cruised into

> > the Grocery

> > > store on my home from work (very busy time in the

> > store, lines

> > everywhere)

> > > and I am negotiating my way along the front from

> > the door over to

> > the vegie

> > > section in search of a celebratory salad (Atkins

> > about to fail ).

> > As I am

> > > trucking along, I feel a strange sensation -- the

> > hem of my skirt

> > seems to be

> > > hitting lower and lower on my leg. I look down.

> > Not the skirt.

> > MY SLIP has

> > > Slipped down and about a foot of white lacey

> > petticoat is hanging

> > below the

> > > nice blue dress. Too far gone to hitch back up

> > with some deft

> > twitching and

> > > wiggling at the waist, and between weight loss and

> > elastic failure,

> > there is

> > > nothing to be done. Still feeling spry and

> > cleaver-- I think, I

> > will just

> > > step out of the slip and stuff it in my hand bag

> > real quick. I stop

> > in an

> > > open space between two lines. I deftly pull my

> > right foot out of

> > the slip.

> > > I bend over and grab the slip whilst I prepare to

> > liberate the left

> > foot. I

> > > attempt to gather slip up. Something is wrong.

> > The slip is not

> > coming up.

> > > OH NOO! I am hopping up and down, the dang thing

> > caught on the

> > heel of my

> > > left shoe. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MARKET IN

> > THE EVENING RUSH

> > HOUR A 200

> > > POUND WOMAN IN A BRIGHT BLUE DRESS IS HOPPING UP

> > AND DOWN TUGGING A

> > WHITE

> > > LACY PETTICOAT WHICH IS CAUGHT ON THE HEEL OF HER

> > SHOE. Can you

> > say

> > > " inconspicuous " ? NOT! I finally realize my

> > efforts to pull the

> > slip up are

> > > the problem. I drop the slip, and step over it.

> > I then pick it up

> > and stuff

> > > it in my purse. I then look the three people

> > who are dead in

> > front of me

> > > and staring in the eyes and say as perkily as

> > possible " how

> > embarrassing! "

> > > and haul off as fast as I can without calling more

> > attention to

> > myself for

> > > the salad.

> > > I really do recommend 1) taking stock of the

> > condition of the

> > elastic in

> > > undergarments as you loose weight and doing the

> > mending and taking

> > up in a

> > > timely manner; and 2) taking acting improv

> > classes. One can almost

> > carry off

> > > these little contretemps of every day life with

> > panache, or the

> > appearance

> > > thereof, when you accept there is no quick way

> > out, and you need a

> > good line

> > > to exit on.

> > > I will recount my adventure with the rain, the man

> > hole cover and

> > the

> > > stranger forced to help the MO woman at the art

> > museum in the near

> > future.

> > > Nan E. (spreading sunshine and lacy petticoats

> > wherever she goes)

> >

> >

> >

>----------------------------------------------------------------------

> >

[Guest guest]

Oh Meli,

Between you and Nan, I am DYING here!!! I'll never look at tomatoes the same way again!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!! Whoa! Can somebody pass me a tissue here? I can't see because of the tears in me eyes!! Oh cripes!! I can't type either!! MY eyes!!!

Thanks so much for the laughs!!

Pam

Pre-op in MD

Dr. Vanguri

Surgery date July 9, 2001

[Guest guest]

OK, my turn.

I'm coming back to work from lunch and am speed walking to the door when I realize that I don't have my badge to get in. I open my purse and rummage to find it while also holding a can of diet coke in one hand and my car keys in the other. I'm wearing my favorite platform tennis shoe clogs and as I mount the step from the parking lot to the front area (right in front of the main lobby doors) my foot slips sideways and I do a double trip trying to catch myself, but don't make it. My coke goes flying one way (towards the front door) and my keys the other as I hurtle forward spread eagle towards the ground. My feet go flying up behind me, flinging my shoes behind me up in the air and into the parking lot. I landed on my purse face down laughing hysterically. It was like slow motion and I could see just how funny the whole trip was, like the three stooges. I lay there laughing as another employee is coming up and he says "did you fall down?" and I burst out again laughing harder. If I had not been laughing so hard I could have come back with something like, "No, this is just where I passed out last night" or "no, I'm trying to take a nap. Do you mind!"

Pre-pre-op Dr. Rabkin - consult June 14th

P.S. I quit smoking today and am terrified of gaining more weight before surgery, but it has to be done. Wish me luck!

[Guest guest]

..what a great mental picture!..not laughing at you..laughing with

you..hope you were not injured..i did a similar " forward one and a half in

pike position " in front of the entire school (am a high school teacher)..and

books, papers, eyeglasses, etc. went flying..was certain the spectators were

going to hold up score cards any minute..definitely would have received a

" 10 " !..btw, i am also quitting smoking..monday is my day to quit..going to

use the nicotrol inhaler..wishing both of us great success.

nancy fissel

pre-op dr. gagner 7/26/01

age and bmi are both 54!

(hoping for a cancellation so date can be moved up)

>

>Pre-pre-op Dr. Rabkin - consult June 14th

>

>P.S. I quit smoking today and am terrified of gaining more weight before

>surgery, but it has to be done. Wish me luck!

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

..what a great mental picture!..not laughing at you..laughing with

you..hope you were not injured..i did a similar " forward one and a half in

pike position " in front of the entire school (am a high school teacher)..and

books, papers, eyeglasses, etc. went flying..was certain the spectators were

going to hold up score cards any minute..definitely would have received a

" 10 " !..btw, i am also quitting smoking..monday is my day to quit..going to

use the nicotrol inhaler..wishing both of us great success.

nancy fissel

pre-op dr. gagner 7/26/01

age and bmi are both 54!

(hoping for a cancellation so date can be moved up)

>

>Pre-pre-op Dr. Rabkin - consult June 14th

>

>P.S. I quit smoking today and am terrified of gaining more weight before

>surgery, but it has to be done. Wish me luck!

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

..what a great mental picture!..not laughing at you..laughing with

you..hope you were not injured..i did a similar " forward one and a half in

pike position " in front of the entire school (am a high school teacher)..and

books, papers, eyeglasses, etc. went flying..was certain the spectators were

going to hold up score cards any minute..definitely would have received a

" 10 " !..btw, i am also quitting smoking..monday is my day to quit..going to

use the nicotrol inhaler..wishing both of us great success.

nancy fissel

pre-op dr. gagner 7/26/01

age and bmi are both 54!

(hoping for a cancellation so date can be moved up)

>

>Pre-pre-op Dr. Rabkin - consult June 14th

>

>P.S. I quit smoking today and am terrified of gaining more weight before

>surgery, but it has to be done. Wish me luck!

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

Good luck !!! I know that this is hard, but you'll be so

much healthier without it! =)

e

seeking information and more nerve.

=====

There are two worlds:

the world that we can measure with line and rule.. and,

the world that we feel with our hearts and imagination.

__________________________________________________