Re: Re: Mt.Sinai Support Group Meeting

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/19/01 12:28:10 PM, duodenalswitch writes:

<< The supposed complaints the doctor was

talking about came from people who do not attend the meetings. The people

who do attend the meetings, i.e. the people who were in the room, are pretty

much happy with how things are going. >>

UGGHH.. the complaints are most likely from people who PREVIOUSLy attended

meetings but do not any longer (myself included in that group). It is not

like people never came to meetings or only showed up one time who were

unsatisfied with the way things were going there.

That being said, it is true that not all groups are for everyone. I prefer

an open, accepting atmosphere where people DO discuss emotional issues

related to surgery, post-op life, etc. and NOT just discuss nutrition, body

work (this stuff IS very important, don't get me wrong, but it seemed to me

that all these more 'surface' or 'physical' topics were overshadowning other

issues that were rarely if ever brought up when I was there. Also, from what

I've heard from others, they were rarely if ever discussed before or after I

attended the meetings).

My issue isn't so much that pre-ops are treated rather rudely (which I do

believe is true and every pre-op IS an eventual post-op who does remember

that experience). Rather, I didn't think the group addressed any more

intimate or personal issues. The group size does play somewhat into this but

I (and others) have suggested breaking up into smaller sub-groups for

discussion at least for a portion of the meeting time. This was a very

successful technique I used when I taught larg(er) groups.

Of course, you can look at the remaining people and say 'hey, we're the

clique we always wanted to be' and they will be happy without any dissent or

difference of opinion. It is not a big surprise to me that current members

of the group feel that anyone who dissents and is no longer present (many of

whom did dissent when they were present and were shot down or ignored) is

just to be brushed aside. Another way to approach the issue is recognizing

that many people DO feel alienated and something ****may**** just be a little

off with the current member's attitudes or beliefs.

all the best,

lap DS with gallbladder removal

Dr. Gagner/Dr. Quinn assisting/Mt. Sinai/NYC

January 25, 2001

almost 4 months post-op and still feelin' fab!

pre-oP: 307 lbs/bmi 45 (5'9 " )

now: 254 lbs (still comin' off!)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/19/01 12:28:10 PM, duodenalswitch writes:

<< I also have a bad feeling about the support group, but this comes

from my experience on the Mt Sinai DS support group email list. I

found it to be cliquish and unwelcoming. Granted, I was not

technically a patient of Dr. Herron's at the time, I was pretty much

committed to his program if he thought I was a good candidate. I

posted to the group looking to find someone in my area who might be

willing to car pool to the support group meeting at the hospital. Not

only was my post ignored, but I was not even welcomed to the group.

If this is the way people are on a email group, what does it say for

them in person? What I've heard from you all regarding your

experiences at the support group meeting seems to indicate that my

assessment is not too off base.

>>

Well, people did know who I was because I attended meetings as a pre-op.

However, when Bob Bowers posted on the Mt. Sinai list about visiting me at

the hospital (OBVIOUSLY if I'm in the hospital I am now a POST-OP,

right????), there was a pretty terse reply about 'not discussing pre-ops or

pre-op issues' as a direct result of his posting. Huh????? Maybe I've lost

something in translation here????

So, even though things were being posted about me while I was still in the

hospital, someone got chastised for supposedly writing about a 'pre-op'.

And, when I did post from home I did not get anything but mainly silence from

list members. Not even a 'hey, welcome to the post-op world!' or 'Great to

hear you made it through!' I think only one person responded to me (I think

it was privately, too) who wasn't a close friend that I had made at the Mt.

Sinai meetings.

So, yes --- I feel there is an extremely cliquish feel to the group and this

does not apply to ALL members but the few who are 'seniors' and have been

organizing or trying to help out with group planning, etc.

To me, this is not a perception. I also think that due to the large amount

of people who have experienced very similar responses after attending

meetings (people I have had absolutely no influence on or corresponded

with/met whatsoever) that there could very well be something to the issues we

bring up.

All the best,

lap DS with gallbladder removal

Dr. Gagner/DR. Quinn assisting/Mt. Sinai/NYC

January 25, 2001

almost 4 months post-op and still feelin' fab!

pre-op: 307 lbs/bmi 45 (5'9 " )

post-op: 254 lbs (still losing!)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/19/01 12:28:10 PM, duodenalswitch writes:

<< I also have a bad feeling about the support group, but this comes

from my experience on the Mt Sinai DS support group email list. I

found it to be cliquish and unwelcoming. Granted, I was not

technically a patient of Dr. Herron's at the time, I was pretty much

committed to his program if he thought I was a good candidate. I

posted to the group looking to find someone in my area who might be

willing to car pool to the support group meeting at the hospital. Not

only was my post ignored, but I was not even welcomed to the group.

If this is the way people are on a email group, what does it say for

them in person? What I've heard from you all regarding your

experiences at the support group meeting seems to indicate that my

assessment is not too off base.

>>

Well, people did know who I was because I attended meetings as a pre-op.

However, when Bob Bowers posted on the Mt. Sinai list about visiting me at

the hospital (OBVIOUSLY if I'm in the hospital I am now a POST-OP,

right????), there was a pretty terse reply about 'not discussing pre-ops or

pre-op issues' as a direct result of his posting. Huh????? Maybe I've lost

something in translation here????

So, even though things were being posted about me while I was still in the

hospital, someone got chastised for supposedly writing about a 'pre-op'.

And, when I did post from home I did not get anything but mainly silence from

list members. Not even a 'hey, welcome to the post-op world!' or 'Great to

hear you made it through!' I think only one person responded to me (I think

it was privately, too) who wasn't a close friend that I had made at the Mt.

Sinai meetings.

So, yes --- I feel there is an extremely cliquish feel to the group and this

does not apply to ALL members but the few who are 'seniors' and have been

organizing or trying to help out with group planning, etc.

To me, this is not a perception. I also think that due to the large amount

of people who have experienced very similar responses after attending

meetings (people I have had absolutely no influence on or corresponded

with/met whatsoever) that there could very well be something to the issues we

bring up.

All the best,

lap DS with gallbladder removal

Dr. Gagner/DR. Quinn assisting/Mt. Sinai/NYC

January 25, 2001

almost 4 months post-op and still feelin' fab!

pre-op: 307 lbs/bmi 45 (5'9 " )

post-op: 254 lbs (still losing!)