Re: Mt.Sinai Support Group Meeting

[Guest guest]

You know, when I originally posted my complaints about that meeting to the

list, I had second thoughts about it. I thought: this is just whining. What

good would it do after the fact to complain about the meeting of a group of

which I am not a part? I sent the message because it was therapeutic to

write it and I figured that maybe it would slip into the archives unnoticed.

I got it off my chest, and just writing it made me feel better. However, I

was stunned at the outpouring of support I got, not only from Mt Sinai

post-ops and pre-ops who were not at the meeting, but also from a couple of

silent and commiserating compadres who were there! I was also dismayed by

the number of both privately sent messages and posted messages from Mt Sinai

post-ops who were not going to their support meeting cause they hated it,

and so not getting a very important part of the program. I wrote Dr Herron

for this reason, and to let him know that I wasn't coming back to that

meeting, that I was " voting on the program with my feet. " Wherever I end up

having the surgery, I'm delighted to witness the empowerment of the Mt Sinai

post-ops, and I'm hoping that at the very least, you all get a group meeting

where you feel supported.

Thank you all for the committed listening you gave me.

Mt.Sinai Support Group Meeting

> Niccole the nutritionist called me because of my post

> about the Mt. Sinai Meeting. She was upset with how

> the meeting went and how many people are intimidated

> to attend the Mt. Sinai support group. She said that

> there will be a change most likely. I know that many

> long-term post oppers feel the meeting is fine the way

> it is. But it really is not. It's not about support at

> all--at least it was not last Wednesday, it was like a

> grade school playground with bullies. So much has been

> said about all of this, I know. Hopefully some

> conclusion can be drawn. Many people including myself

> are opting to attend the NYU DS meeting next month to

> " check it out " . I would rather attend the Mt. Sinai

> meeting since I had my surgery there and Niccole is

> there. I guess I am just trying to say that even

> though many of you think the meeting is fine the way

> it is, I don't, and so do a lot of people. But the

> good folk at Mt. Sinai are trying to fix it, so we'll

> see....

>

> Jill K in NY

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

lgsettles@... wrote:

>I got it off my chest, and just writing it made me feel better. However, I

>was stunned at the outpouring of support I got, not only from Mt Sinai

>post-ops and pre-ops who were not at the meeting, but also from a couple of

>silent and commiserating compadres who were there! I was also dismayed by

>the number of both privately sent messages and posted messages from Mt

Sinai

>post-ops who were not going to their support meeting cause they hated it,

>and so not getting a very important part of the program.

With all due respect, I think this is the point that the group people were

trying to make at the meeting. The supposed complaints the doctor was

talking about came from people who do not attend the meetings. The people

who do attend the meetings, i.e. the people who were in the room, are pretty

much happy with how things are going. What I felt strongest was their

frustration that their valuable meeting time was being chewed up to respond

to the privately voiced unhappiness of people who weren't even there. Not

every group is for every person. If you reach for the lowest common

denominator to include the maximum number of people, you end up with

something that is equally useless for everybody.

I swear I'll never talk about this again until I earn the right to speak at

a post op meeting anywhere, but it seems to me that the problem is that the

program has grown large enough that more post op groups are needed. That's

a problem for the program managers. They can't solve it by changing the

group they have. If there are 60 people who do or could or would come to a

group, they need two or more of them. Set up another one on another night

and eventually those people will coalesce too. In three months those folks

would be just as pissed off if somebody tried to waste their time discussing

what was going on with some other group of people who have nothing to do

with their group.

Closing my mouth, I promise.

[Guest guest]

lgsettles@... wrote:

>I got it off my chest, and just writing it made me feel better. However, I

>was stunned at the outpouring of support I got, not only from Mt Sinai

>post-ops and pre-ops who were not at the meeting, but also from a couple of

>silent and commiserating compadres who were there! I was also dismayed by

>the number of both privately sent messages and posted messages from Mt

Sinai

>post-ops who were not going to their support meeting cause they hated it,

>and so not getting a very important part of the program.

With all due respect, I think this is the point that the group people were

trying to make at the meeting. The supposed complaints the doctor was

talking about came from people who do not attend the meetings. The people

who do attend the meetings, i.e. the people who were in the room, are pretty

much happy with how things are going. What I felt strongest was their

frustration that their valuable meeting time was being chewed up to respond

to the privately voiced unhappiness of people who weren't even there. Not

every group is for every person. If you reach for the lowest common

denominator to include the maximum number of people, you end up with

something that is equally useless for everybody.

I swear I'll never talk about this again until I earn the right to speak at

a post op meeting anywhere, but it seems to me that the problem is that the

program has grown large enough that more post op groups are needed. That's

a problem for the program managers. They can't solve it by changing the

group they have. If there are 60 people who do or could or would come to a

group, they need two or more of them. Set up another one on another night

and eventually those people will coalesce too. In three months those folks

would be just as pissed off if somebody tried to waste their time discussing

what was going on with some other group of people who have nothing to do

with their group.

Closing my mouth, I promise.