Re: WARNING - adult in nature : my 2 cents

June 14, 2005

That's great, Shell. As I've shared before, I was molested, too...for ten years. But, I was never penetrated, so I didn't have any violence or pain associated with it. Just violation and trust issues. Just. hah!

But I was fortunate, in that my first lover was wonderful. Not quite as open as the guy you describe, but pretty darned near. The second lover (who had been my highschool sweetheart, but that relationship was very very innocent until our second go around when I was 21) was exactly as you describe. He was such a sensualist. We had such great times. No kidding, we were both students, and we would blow off classes for days sometimes. Four or five days at a time, we would do nothing but make love, laugh, and sleep. Thank God for chinese food delivery, or they would have found us in bed, dead...with smiles on our faces.

I love men like that. They are so generous, and they give us a lasting gift. My first two lovers healed me sexually. And, I've never had issues in my adult sexual relationships as a result. There is just a difference between making love with someone consensually...and being violated.

Thank God for that.

RobynnShell wrote:

Robynn and others,You guys are cracking me up! I am enjoying this thread, lol I loved your post about all the dating you did. I was the same way. I did a lot of dating from 15 to 18 then got married at 20 divorced at 30 and also got sober at 30, I had been so shut down about sex due to my sexual abuse as a child, and I was very very out of touch with my body. I had never even masturbated until I was over 30.My girlfriends took me to Good Vibration in SF. It was their mission lol. I walked in and my mouth fell open. Then I met a guy very hunky, very cute. He was after me for months to hook up and it was clear he was attracted to me. He told me right out he was not looking for a relationship he was looking for a lover. I thought about it for like three months and thought ok. He was being honest with what he wanted; he was not

playing head games. I knew what I was getting into so my heart would not get broken.OMG! It was the best 18 months lol, yes 18 months. He was the first man to ask me if I had an orgasm every time we had sex. I was like ummmm,,, well,,, I'll call you back. I was on the phone with my girlfriends telling them what he was asking and they were like tell him the truth!! So I called him back and said no! lol I thought I would die. He told me I had to communicate with him, tell him what I liked, what worked for me. He said he would do the same. I tell him he turned me into a sex machine and he said I always had it in me he just helped bring it out. You see, I never saw sex as something that was pleasurable. To me sex was pain, it was brutal, it was being over powered by people you should of been safe with it was all about shame.Having sex for pleasure, for fun, the silliness of it was very new to me. We to got a box

of toys. I can remember my first trip to good vibrations with my girlfriends I got something like the rabbit,, (am I sharing all this?) and I went to an AA meeting with it in my purse. I had two AA batteries in my purse and I handed them to Orlando (the guy) and my girlfriends new what I had just did, he looked at them and laughed so hard, he grabbed my hand and said we have to leave. It was very funny.We saw each other for 18 months and we never looked at our self's as a couple although everyone else did. We never saw other people. What I remember most about that relationship was that we had so much fun. I have read my old diary's and as I have read about all my passed relationships (and there were many) Orlando's and mine was the only entries were there was no drama; it was all fun, very sexual and erotic. The things we did, the doors he opened for me .Teaching me to love my body.You see I was about 260 pounds. I

was not skinny. He loved me as I was. He helped me love my self, told me I was as sexy as I wanted to be. Every fantasy was ok to share with him, as his were with mine. The best thing he helps me get pasted was the shame of my feelings about sex. I learned it was ok to enjoy sex, it was ok to want sex and most important it was more then ok to be sexual women with needs.Shell> > > > > Hi ,> > > > >> > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for decades.> >What> > > >I did> > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically closed the> > > >door on> > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.> > > > >> > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I truly> >hope

it> > > >does> > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage, feel free> >to> > > >reject> > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished> >because> > > >of his> > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping you with> > > >either> > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play with them?> > > >This may> > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido> >issues> > > >to be> > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good> >Vibrations on> > > >San> > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.> > > > >> > > > > Feel free to contact me for any

other suggestions. You do need> >to> > > >take> > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your sexuality.> >Like I> > > >said,> > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.> > > > >> > > > > Eleanor> > > > >> > > > > --> > > > > Eleanor Oster> > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)> > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm> > > > > San , CA> > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003> > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)> > > > > ~5'9" tall> > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation> > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery> > > > >

Current ~150 Goal until plastics?> > > > > Goal 140-150?> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >

June 14, 2005

That's great, Shell. As I've shared before, I was molested, too...for ten years. But, I was never penetrated, so I didn't have any violence or pain associated with it. Just violation and trust issues. Just. hah!

But I was fortunate, in that my first lover was wonderful. Not quite as open as the guy you describe, but pretty darned near. The second lover (who had been my highschool sweetheart, but that relationship was very very innocent until our second go around when I was 21) was exactly as you describe. He was such a sensualist. We had such great times. No kidding, we were both students, and we would blow off classes for days sometimes. Four or five days at a time, we would do nothing but make love, laugh, and sleep. Thank God for chinese food delivery, or they would have found us in bed, dead...with smiles on our faces.

I love men like that. They are so generous, and they give us a lasting gift. My first two lovers healed me sexually. And, I've never had issues in my adult sexual relationships as a result. There is just a difference between making love with someone consensually...and being violated.

Thank God for that.

RobynnShell wrote:

Robynn and others,You guys are cracking me up! I am enjoying this thread, lol I loved your post about all the dating you did. I was the same way. I did a lot of dating from 15 to 18 then got married at 20 divorced at 30 and also got sober at 30, I had been so shut down about sex due to my sexual abuse as a child, and I was very very out of touch with my body. I had never even masturbated until I was over 30.My girlfriends took me to Good Vibration in SF. It was their mission lol. I walked in and my mouth fell open. Then I met a guy very hunky, very cute. He was after me for months to hook up and it was clear he was attracted to me. He told me right out he was not looking for a relationship he was looking for a lover. I thought about it for like three months and thought ok. He was being honest with what he wanted; he was not

playing head games. I knew what I was getting into so my heart would not get broken.OMG! It was the best 18 months lol, yes 18 months. He was the first man to ask me if I had an orgasm every time we had sex. I was like ummmm,,, well,,, I'll call you back. I was on the phone with my girlfriends telling them what he was asking and they were like tell him the truth!! So I called him back and said no! lol I thought I would die. He told me I had to communicate with him, tell him what I liked, what worked for me. He said he would do the same. I tell him he turned me into a sex machine and he said I always had it in me he just helped bring it out. You see, I never saw sex as something that was pleasurable. To me sex was pain, it was brutal, it was being over powered by people you should of been safe with it was all about shame.Having sex for pleasure, for fun, the silliness of it was very new to me. We to got a box

of toys. I can remember my first trip to good vibrations with my girlfriends I got something like the rabbit,, (am I sharing all this?) and I went to an AA meeting with it in my purse. I had two AA batteries in my purse and I handed them to Orlando (the guy) and my girlfriends new what I had just did, he looked at them and laughed so hard, he grabbed my hand and said we have to leave. It was very funny.We saw each other for 18 months and we never looked at our self's as a couple although everyone else did. We never saw other people. What I remember most about that relationship was that we had so much fun. I have read my old diary's and as I have read about all my passed relationships (and there were many) Orlando's and mine was the only entries were there was no drama; it was all fun, very sexual and erotic. The things we did, the doors he opened for me .Teaching me to love my body.You see I was about 260 pounds. I

was not skinny. He loved me as I was. He helped me love my self, told me I was as sexy as I wanted to be. Every fantasy was ok to share with him, as his were with mine. The best thing he helps me get pasted was the shame of my feelings about sex. I learned it was ok to enjoy sex, it was ok to want sex and most important it was more then ok to be sexual women with needs.Shell> > > > > Hi ,> > > > >> > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for decades.> >What> > > >I did> > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically closed the> > > >door on> > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.> > > > >> > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I truly> >hope

it> > > >does> > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage, feel free> >to> > > >reject> > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished> >because> > > >of his> > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping you with> > > >either> > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play with them?> > > >This may> > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido> >issues> > > >to be> > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good> >Vibrations on> > > >San> > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.> > > > >> > > > > Feel free to contact me for any

other suggestions. You do need> >to> > > >take> > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your sexuality.> >Like I> > > >said,> > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.> > > > >> > > > > Eleanor> > > > >> > > > > --> > > > > Eleanor Oster> > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)> > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm> > > > > San , CA> > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003> > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)> > > > > ~5'9" tall> > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation> > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery> > > > >

Current ~150 Goal until plastics?> > > > > Goal 140-150?> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >

June 14, 2005

That's great, Shell. As I've shared before, I was molested, too...for ten years. But, I was never penetrated, so I didn't have any violence or pain associated with it. Just violation and trust issues. Just. hah!

But I was fortunate, in that my first lover was wonderful. Not quite as open as the guy you describe, but pretty darned near. The second lover (who had been my highschool sweetheart, but that relationship was very very innocent until our second go around when I was 21) was exactly as you describe. He was such a sensualist. We had such great times. No kidding, we were both students, and we would blow off classes for days sometimes. Four or five days at a time, we would do nothing but make love, laugh, and sleep. Thank God for chinese food delivery, or they would have found us in bed, dead...with smiles on our faces.

I love men like that. They are so generous, and they give us a lasting gift. My first two lovers healed me sexually. And, I've never had issues in my adult sexual relationships as a result. There is just a difference between making love with someone consensually...and being violated.

Thank God for that.

RobynnShell wrote:

Robynn and others,You guys are cracking me up! I am enjoying this thread, lol I loved your post about all the dating you did. I was the same way. I did a lot of dating from 15 to 18 then got married at 20 divorced at 30 and also got sober at 30, I had been so shut down about sex due to my sexual abuse as a child, and I was very very out of touch with my body. I had never even masturbated until I was over 30.My girlfriends took me to Good Vibration in SF. It was their mission lol. I walked in and my mouth fell open. Then I met a guy very hunky, very cute. He was after me for months to hook up and it was clear he was attracted to me. He told me right out he was not looking for a relationship he was looking for a lover. I thought about it for like three months and thought ok. He was being honest with what he wanted; he was not

playing head games. I knew what I was getting into so my heart would not get broken.OMG! It was the best 18 months lol, yes 18 months. He was the first man to ask me if I had an orgasm every time we had sex. I was like ummmm,,, well,,, I'll call you back. I was on the phone with my girlfriends telling them what he was asking and they were like tell him the truth!! So I called him back and said no! lol I thought I would die. He told me I had to communicate with him, tell him what I liked, what worked for me. He said he would do the same. I tell him he turned me into a sex machine and he said I always had it in me he just helped bring it out. You see, I never saw sex as something that was pleasurable. To me sex was pain, it was brutal, it was being over powered by people you should of been safe with it was all about shame.Having sex for pleasure, for fun, the silliness of it was very new to me. We to got a box

of toys. I can remember my first trip to good vibrations with my girlfriends I got something like the rabbit,, (am I sharing all this?) and I went to an AA meeting with it in my purse. I had two AA batteries in my purse and I handed them to Orlando (the guy) and my girlfriends new what I had just did, he looked at them and laughed so hard, he grabbed my hand and said we have to leave. It was very funny.We saw each other for 18 months and we never looked at our self's as a couple although everyone else did. We never saw other people. What I remember most about that relationship was that we had so much fun. I have read my old diary's and as I have read about all my passed relationships (and there were many) Orlando's and mine was the only entries were there was no drama; it was all fun, very sexual and erotic. The things we did, the doors he opened for me .Teaching me to love my body.You see I was about 260 pounds. I

was not skinny. He loved me as I was. He helped me love my self, told me I was as sexy as I wanted to be. Every fantasy was ok to share with him, as his were with mine. The best thing he helps me get pasted was the shame of my feelings about sex. I learned it was ok to enjoy sex, it was ok to want sex and most important it was more then ok to be sexual women with needs.Shell> > > > > Hi ,> > > > >> > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for decades.> >What> > > >I did> > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically closed the> > > >door on> > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.> > > > >> > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I truly> >hope

it> > > >does> > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage, feel free> >to> > > >reject> > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished> >because> > > >of his> > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping you with> > > >either> > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play with them?> > > >This may> > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido> >issues> > > >to be> > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good> >Vibrations on> > > >San> > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.> > > > >> > > > > Feel free to contact me for any

other suggestions. You do need> >to> > > >take> > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your sexuality.> >Like I> > > >said,> > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.> > > > >> > > > > Eleanor> > > > >> > > > > --> > > > > Eleanor Oster> > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)> > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm> > > > > San , CA> > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003> > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)> > > > > ~5'9" tall> > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation> > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery> > > > >

Current ~150 Goal until plastics?> > > > > Goal 140-150?> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >

June 14, 2005

Thats exactly what I want to explore with hubby!!

> > > > > > Hi ,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for

> decades.

> > >What

> > > > >I did

> > > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically

closed

> the

> > > > >door on

> > > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I truly

> > >hope it

> > > > >does

> > > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage, feel

> free

> > >to

> > > > >reject

> > > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished

> > >because

> > > > >of his

> > > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping

you

> with

> > > > >either

> > > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play with

> them?

> > > > >This may

> > > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido

> > >issues

> > > > >to be

> > > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good

> > >Vibrations on

> > > > >San

> > > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You do

> need

> > >to

> > > > >take

> > > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your sexuality.

> > >Like I

> > > > >said,

> > > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Eleanor

> > > > > >

> > > > > > --

> > > > > > Eleanor Oster

> > > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)

> > > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

> > > > > > San , CA

> > > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

> > > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

> > > > > > ~5'9 " tall

> > > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation

> > > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

> > > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?

> > > > > > Goal 140-150?

> > > > >

June 14, 2005

Thats exactly what I want to explore with hubby!!

> > > > > > Hi ,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for

> decades.

> > >What

> > > > >I did

> > > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically

closed

> the

> > > > >door on

> > > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I truly

> > >hope it

> > > > >does

> > > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage, feel

> free

> > >to

> > > > >reject

> > > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished

> > >because

> > > > >of his

> > > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping

you

> with

> > > > >either

> > > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play with

> them?

> > > > >This may

> > > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido

> > >issues

> > > > >to be

> > > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good

> > >Vibrations on

> > > > >San

> > > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You do

> need

> > >to

> > > > >take

> > > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your sexuality.

> > >Like I

> > > > >said,

> > > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Eleanor

> > > > > >

> > > > > > --

> > > > > > Eleanor Oster

> > > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)

> > > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

> > > > > > San , CA

> > > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

> > > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

> > > > > > ~5'9 " tall

> > > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation

> > > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

> > > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?

> > > > > > Goal 140-150?

> > > > >

June 14, 2005

Thats exactly what I want to explore with hubby!!

> > > > > > Hi ,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for

> decades.

> > >What

> > > > >I did

> > > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically

closed

> the

> > > > >door on

> > > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I truly

> > >hope it

> > > > >does

> > > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage, feel

> free

> > >to

> > > > >reject

> > > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished

> > >because

> > > > >of his

> > > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping

you

> with

> > > > >either

> > > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play with

> them?

> > > > >This may

> > > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido

> > >issues

> > > > >to be

> > > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good

> > >Vibrations on

> > > > >San

> > > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You do

> need

> > >to

> > > > >take

> > > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your sexuality.

> > >Like I

> > > > >said,

> > > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Eleanor

> > > > > >

> > > > > > --

> > > > > > Eleanor Oster

> > > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)

> > > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

> > > > > > San , CA

> > > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

> > > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

> > > > > > ~5'9 " tall

> > > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation

> > > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

> > > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?

> > > > > > Goal 140-150?

> > > > >

June 14, 2005

Thats exactly what I want to explore with hubby!!

> > > > > > Hi ,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for

> decades.

> > >What

> > > > >I did

> > > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically

closed

> the

> > > > >door on

> > > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I truly

> > >hope it

> > > > >does

> > > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage, feel

> free

> > >to

> > > > >reject

> > > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished

> > >because

> > > > >of his

> > > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping

you

> with

> > > > >either

> > > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play with

> them?

> > > > >This may

> > > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido

> > >issues

> > > > >to be

> > > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good

> > >Vibrations on

> > > > >San

> > > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You do

> need

> > >to

> > > > >take

> > > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your sexuality.

> > >Like I

> > > > >said,

> > > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Eleanor

> > > > > >

> > > > > > --

> > > > > > Eleanor Oster

> > > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)

> > > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

> > > > > > San , CA

> > > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

> > > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

> > > > > > ~5'9 " tall

> > > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation

> > > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

> > > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?

> > > > > > Goal 140-150?

> > > > >

June 14, 2005

Have you are anyone here ever see the Vagina monologues? It is a

great one women play. I think sometimes they do it with more then

one women,anyway she talked about a guy named Bob and how every

women needs a Bob in her life at one time or another, Orlando was my

Bob. BTY I have the dvd of the Vagina monologue maybe after the pool

party if anyone want to come to my place after we can watch it.

shell

pool party september 17th!

> > > > > > Hi ,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for

> decades.

> > >What

> > > > >I did

> > > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically

closed

> the

> > > > >door on

> > > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I

truly

> > >hope it

> > > > >does

> > > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage,

feel

> free

> > >to

> > > > >reject

> > > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished

> > >because

> > > > >of his

> > > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping

you

> with

> > > > >either

> > > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play

with

> them?

> > > > >This may

> > > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido

> > >issues

> > > > >to be

> > > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good

> > >Vibrations on

> > > > >San

> > > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You

do

> need

> > >to

> > > > >take

> > > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your

sexuality.

> > >Like I

> > > > >said,

> > > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Eleanor

> > > > > >

> > > > > > --

> > > > > > Eleanor Oster

> > > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)

> > > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

> > > > > > San , CA

> > > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

> > > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

> > > > > > ~5'9 " tall

> > > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation

> > > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

> > > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?

> > > > > > Goal 140-150?

> > > > >

June 14, 2005

Have you are anyone here ever see the Vagina monologues? It is a

great one women play. I think sometimes they do it with more then

one women,anyway she talked about a guy named Bob and how every

women needs a Bob in her life at one time or another, Orlando was my

Bob. BTY I have the dvd of the Vagina monologue maybe after the pool

party if anyone want to come to my place after we can watch it.

shell

pool party september 17th!

> > > > > > Hi ,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for

> decades.

> > >What

> > > > >I did

> > > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically

closed

> the

> > > > >door on

> > > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I

truly

> > >hope it

> > > > >does

> > > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage,

feel

> free

> > >to

> > > > >reject

> > > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished

> > >because

> > > > >of his

> > > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping

you

> with

> > > > >either

> > > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play

with

> them?

> > > > >This may

> > > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido

> > >issues

> > > > >to be

> > > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good

> > >Vibrations on

> > > > >San

> > > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You

do

> need

> > >to

> > > > >take

> > > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your

sexuality.

> > >Like I

> > > > >said,

> > > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Eleanor

> > > > > >

> > > > > > --

> > > > > > Eleanor Oster

> > > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)

> > > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

> > > > > > San , CA

> > > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

> > > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

> > > > > > ~5'9 " tall

> > > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation

> > > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

> > > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?

> > > > > > Goal 140-150?

> > > > >

June 14, 2005

Have you are anyone here ever see the Vagina monologues? It is a

great one women play. I think sometimes they do it with more then

one women,anyway she talked about a guy named Bob and how every

women needs a Bob in her life at one time or another, Orlando was my

Bob. BTY I have the dvd of the Vagina monologue maybe after the pool

party if anyone want to come to my place after we can watch it.

shell

pool party september 17th!

> > > > > > Hi ,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for

> decades.

> > >What

> > > > >I did

> > > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically

closed

> the

> > > > >door on

> > > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I

truly

> > >hope it

> > > > >does

> > > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage,

feel

> free

> > >to

> > > > >reject

> > > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished

> > >because

> > > > >of his

> > > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping

you

> with

> > > > >either

> > > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play

with

> them?

> > > > >This may

> > > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido

> > >issues

> > > > >to be

> > > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good

> > >Vibrations on

> > > > >San

> > > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You

do

> need

> > >to

> > > > >take

> > > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your

sexuality.

> > >Like I

> > > > >said,

> > > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Eleanor

> > > > > >

> > > > > > --

> > > > > > Eleanor Oster

> > > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)

> > > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

> > > > > > San , CA

> > > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

> > > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

> > > > > > ~5'9 " tall

> > > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation

> > > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

> > > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?

> > > > > > Goal 140-150?

> > > > >

June 14, 2005

I havent seen it, heard about it and a lot of comedians use it as dialog i think !

ColleenShell wrote:

Have you are anyone here ever see the Vagina monologues? It is a great one women play. I think sometimes they do it with more then one women,anyway she talked about a guy named Bob and how every women needs a Bob in her life at one time or another, Orlando was my Bob. BTY I have the dvd of the Vagina monologue maybe after the pool party if anyone want to come to my place after we can watch it.shellpool party september 17th!> > > > > > Hi ,> > > > > >> > > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for > decades.> > >What> > > > >I did> > > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically closed > the> > > > >door on> > > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.> > > > > >> > > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I truly> > >hope it> > > > >does> > > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage, feel > free> > >to> > > > >reject> > > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished> > >because> > > > >of his> >

> > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping you > with> > > > >either> > > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play with > them?> > > > >This may> > > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido> > >issues> > > > >to be> > > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good> > >Vibrations on> > > > >San> > > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.> > > > > >> > > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You do > need> > >to> > > > >take> > > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your sexuality.> > >Like I> > >

> >said,> > > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.> > > > > >> > > > > > Eleanor> > > > > >> > > > > > --> > > > > > Eleanor Oster> > > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)> > > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm> > > > > > San , CA> > > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003> > > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)> > > > > > ~5'9" tall> > > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation> > > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery> > > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?> > > > > > Goal 140-150?> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >> > >

> >> > > > >> > > > >> > > > >

June 14, 2005

Great recounting Shell. Thank you for sharing so much.

> > > > > > Hi ,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for

> decades.

> > >What

> > > > >I did

> > > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically

closed

> the

> > > > >door on

> > > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I

truly

> > >hope it

> > > > >does

> > > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage,

feel

> free

> > >to

> > > > >reject

> > > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished

> > >because

> > > > >of his

> > > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping

you

> with

> > > > >either

> > > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play

with

> them?

> > > > >This may

> > > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido

> > >issues

> > > > >to be

> > > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good

> > >Vibrations on

> > > > >San

> > > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You

do

> need

> > >to

> > > > >take

> > > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your

sexuality.

> > >Like I

> > > > >said,

> > > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Eleanor

> > > > > >

> > > > > > --

> > > > > > Eleanor Oster

> > > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)

> > > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

> > > > > > San , CA

> > > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

> > > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

> > > > > > ~5'9 " tall

> > > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation

> > > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

> > > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?

> > > > > > Goal 140-150?

> > > > >

June 14, 2005

Great recounting Shell. Thank you for sharing so much.

> > > > > > Hi ,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for

> decades.

> > >What

> > > > >I did

> > > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically

closed

> the

> > > > >door on

> > > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I

truly

> > >hope it

> > > > >does

> > > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage,

feel

> free

> > >to

> > > > >reject

> > > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished

> > >because

> > > > >of his

> > > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping

you

> with

> > > > >either

> > > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play

with

> them?

> > > > >This may

> > > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido

> > >issues

> > > > >to be

> > > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good

> > >Vibrations on

> > > > >San

> > > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You

do

> need

> > >to

> > > > >take

> > > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your

sexuality.

> > >Like I

> > > > >said,

> > > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Eleanor

> > > > > >

> > > > > > --

> > > > > > Eleanor Oster

> > > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)

> > > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

> > > > > > San , CA

> > > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

> > > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

> > > > > > ~5'9 " tall

> > > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation

> > > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

> > > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?

> > > > > > Goal 140-150?

> > > > >

June 14, 2005

Great recounting Shell. Thank you for sharing so much.

> > > > > > Hi ,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for

> decades.

> > >What

> > > > >I did

> > > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically

closed

> the

> > > > >door on

> > > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I

truly

> > >hope it

> > > > >does

> > > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage,

feel

> free

> > >to

> > > > >reject

> > > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished

> > >because

> > > > >of his

> > > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping

you

> with

> > > > >either

> > > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play

with

> them?

> > > > >This may

> > > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido

> > >issues

> > > > >to be

> > > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good

> > >Vibrations on

> > > > >San

> > > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You

do

> need

> > >to

> > > > >take

> > > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your

sexuality.

> > >Like I

> > > > >said,

> > > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Eleanor

> > > > > >

> > > > > > --

> > > > > > Eleanor Oster

> > > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)

> > > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

> > > > > > San , CA

> > > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

> > > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

> > > > > > ~5'9 " tall

> > > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation

> > > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

> > > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?

> > > > > > Goal 140-150?

> > > > >

June 14, 2005

amazing show. I saw it with Jill Eikenberry and Rita Moreno and

someone else i don't know. All threee of them did it and it was

amzing. Esp. Rita Moreno.

if you have never seen it, esp women. GO!

> > > > > > > Hi ,

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for

> > decades.

> > > >What

> > > > > >I did

> > > > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically

> closed

> > the

> > > > > >door on

> > > > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I

> truly

> > > >hope it

> > > > > >does

> > > > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage,

> feel

> > free

> > > >to

> > > > > >reject

> > > > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is

diminished

> > > >because

> > > > > >of his

> > > > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping

> you

> > with

> > > > > >either

> > > > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play

> with

> > them?

> > > > > >This may

> > > > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your

libido

> > > >issues

> > > > > >to be

> > > > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good

> > > >Vibrations on

> > > > > >San

> > > > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic

literature.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You

> do

> > need

> > > >to

> > > > > >take

> > > > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your

> sexuality.

> > > >Like I

> > > > > >said,

> > > > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Eleanor

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > --

> > > > > > > Eleanor Oster

> > > > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)

> > > > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

> > > > > > > San , CA

> > > > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

> > > > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

> > > > > > > ~5'9 " tall

> > > > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation

> > > > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

> > > > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?

> > > > > > > Goal 140-150?

> > > > > >

June 14, 2005

Well there really is a difference, and I suppose that's why I have never

had trouble either. I've also run into some really good men, at least in

that way. LaWanda At 10:05 AM 6/14/05, you wrote:

>That's great, Shell. As I've shared before, I was molested, too...for ten

>years. But, I was never penetrated, so I didn't have any violence or pain

>associated with it. Just violation and trust issues. Just. hah!

>But I was fortunate, in that my first lover was wonderful. Not quite as

>open as the guy you describe, but pretty darned near. The second lover

>(who had been my highschool sweetheart, but that relationship was very

>very innocent until our second go around when I was 21) was exactly as you

>describe. He was such a sensualist. We had such great times. No

>kidding, we were both students, and we would blow off classes for days

>sometimes. Four or five days at a time, we would do nothing but make

>love, laugh, and sleep. Thank God for chinese food delivery, or they

>would have found us in bed, dead...with smiles on our faces.

>

>I love men like that. They are so generous, and they give us a lasting

>gift. My first two lovers healed me sexually. And, I've never had issues

>in my adult sexual relationships as a result. There is just a difference

>between making love with someone consensually...and being violated.

>

>Thank God for that.

>

>Robynn

>

>Shell shells793@...> wrote:

>Robynn and others,

>You guys are cracking me up! I am enjoying this thread, lol I loved

>your post about all the dating you did. I was the same way. I did a

>lot of dating from 15 to 18 then got married at 20 divorced at 30

>and also got sober at 30, I had been so shut down about sex due to

>my sexual abuse as a child, and I was very very out of touch with my

>body. I had never even masturbated until I was over 30.

>

>My girlfriends took me to Good Vibration in SF. It was their

>mission lol. I walked in and my mouth fell open. Then I met a guy

>very hunky, very cute. He was after me for months to hook up and it

>was clear he was attracted to me. He told me right out he was not

>looking for a relationship he was looking for a lover. I thought

>about it for like three months and thought ok. He was being honest

>with what he wanted; he was not playing head games. I knew what I

>was getting into so my heart would not get broken.

>

>OMG! It was the best 18 months lol, yes 18 months. He was the first

>man to ask me if I had an orgasm every time we had sex. I was like

>ummmm,,, well,,, I'll call you back. I was on the phone with my

>girlfriends telling them what he was asking and they were like tell

>him the truth!! So I called him back and said no! lol I thought I

>would die.

>

>He told me I had to communicate with him, tell him what I liked,

>what worked for me. He said he would do the same. I tell him he

>turned me into a sex machine and he said I always had it in me he

>just helped bring it out. You see, I never saw sex as something that

>was pleasurable. To me sex was pain, it was brutal, it was being

>over powered by people you should of been safe with it was all about

>shame.

>

>Having sex for pleasure, for fun, the silliness of it was very new

>to me. We to got a box of toys. I can remember my first trip to good

>vibrations with my girlfriends I got something like the rabbit,, (am

>I sharing all this?) and I went to an AA meeting with it in my

>purse. I had two AA batteries in my purse and I handed them to

>Orlando (the guy) and my girlfriends new what I had just did, he

>looked at them and laughed so hard, he grabbed my hand and said we

>have to leave. It was very funny.

>

>We saw each other for 18 months and we never looked at our self's

>as a couple although everyone else did. We never saw other people.

>What I remember most about that relationship was that we had so much

>fun. I have read my old diary's and as I have read about all my

>passed relationships (and there were many) Orlando's and mine was

>the only entries were there was no drama; it was all fun, very

>sexual and erotic. The things we did, the doors he opened for

>me .Teaching me to love my body.

>

>You see I was about 260 pounds. I was not skinny. He loved me as I

>was. He helped me love my self, told me I was as sexy as I wanted to

>be. Every fantasy was ok to share with him, as his were with mine.

>The best thing he helps me get pasted was the shame of my feelings

>about sex. I learned it was ok to enjoy sex, it was ok to want sex

>and most important it was more then ok to be sexual women with needs.

>

>Shell

>

> > > > > > Hi ,

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for

>decades.

> > >What

> > > > >I did

> > > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically closed

>the

> > > > >door on

> > > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I truly

> > >hope it

> > > > >does

> > > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage, feel

>free

> > >to

> > > > >reject

> > > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished

> > >because

> > > > >of his

> > > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping you

>with

> > > > >either

> > > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play with

>them?

> > > > >This may

> > > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido

> > >issues

> > > > >to be

> > > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good

> > >Vibrations on

> > > > >San

> > > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You do

>need

> > >to

> > > > >take

> > > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your sexuality.

> > >Like I

> > > > >said,

> > > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Eleanor

> > > > > >

> > > > > > --

> > > > > > Eleanor Oster

> > > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)

> > > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

> > > > > > San , CA

> > > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

> > > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

> > > > > > ~5'9 " tall

> > > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation

> > > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

> > > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?

> > > > > > Goal 140-150?

> > > > >

June 14, 2005