Guest guest Posted May 6, 2001 Report Share Posted May 6, 2001 Nan, Thank you also! Actually the shrink (to me they all are shrinks...long story from childhood) sends his Pt's their MMPI-2 scores that are having WLS for their approval first, then after approval it is sent to the doc. Due to confidentiality or something..at least that is the way it was explained to me. I am planning on seeing him again, I am calling on Monday to make an appt to discuss the results and issues (his recommendations). I had told him off the bat that I needed to get some sessions going to resolve things that I need to work on, and he agreed that it would be a good idea. He had stated that he was going to put it into the letter, but at the time of reading it, I would not have said I had a problem with psych adjustment, but after reading Tom's take on it, it made sense. I do also have a distrusting side to me, and yes I do not get into " close " relationships, but have the childhood that I did and HELL NO no one would want one. Than is something that yes I need to work on. I thank you for your thoughts and assistance!! Everyone's assistance that I have received from this list is AMAZING!!! It is something that I need to get used to. I am not used to having people NOT judge you by how you look and be willing to lend such support and assistance when it is needed. I just need to learn how to ask for help a little more often. I am one that is not one to ask for help! I keep thinking of that movie 28 Days with Bullock where she is in the drug rehab program and has to wear the sign around her neck about asking for help. Maybe that is what I need, a big sign that says if I do not ask for help, harass me until I do...basically. Thank You All!!!!!! No matter how hard a bear tries, he WILL NOT lose weight without exercise!! ~Winnie the Pooh Lots Of Love.... lynn _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2001 Report Share Posted May 6, 2001 Awww, Sweetie! You are entirely welcome! One of the wonderful things about the internet and the zilllions of support groups is that no one knows what you look like, and therefore no book gets judged by it's cover! This group is especially fun because we can admit to having problems with thigh bulges, gas,and whatever with confidence that everyone else can relate. It is the beauty of support groups. talk about your childhood from hell--It is my personal conviction that one does not grow up with issues around food with out a generous amount of emotional hardship from the period under age 5, with a serious amount of emotional neglect and/or abuse under age 3. All it takes is a primary care giver who is an emotional basket case and unable to interact with and perceive the infant human as a separate and different but defendant person. They call it the relationship dance between mother and child-- but it is equally true for any care giver. Now, my mother was/is an intermittent paranoid schizophrenic, and when she wasn't flat out looney, she was completely self absorbed to the point where she never really has perceived me as a truly separate and distinct individual. That is a pretty lonely place for a baby defendant on her for every interaction in a 12 hour day. I thank God/goddess/the universe at large that I had a decent Dad, and my maternal Grandmother who were at least kind and sane. All you have to do to see the effect my mother had on my brother is to look at the selfish character of his first wife (the second one is an improvement, but he is still the caretaker in the relationship, she is just nicer about it.) When No.1 abandoned the marriage emotionally, my brother became suicidally depressed and ended up on my door step. Boy oh boy, was that an eye opener. He has never managed to separate from Mom, and each of his wives has provided him with the same co-Dependant relationship he has with her. Interestingly, he is almost always furious with mom, way out of proportion with whatever she has been doing-- he is really angry with one or the other of the wives, but he can't tolerate that emotion inside their relationship, so it all gets dumped on mom. She is clueless about it, and she really is a pain, so no harm done there. But it means I am stuck making sure her broken fridge gets replaced, and reminding her that cars do need maintenance to run well. Oops, I didn't mean to run on so much! But I can relate to your childhood from hell! And I don't easily trust people either-- I have a handful of close friends that I have collected over the years, and a large assortment of people I would call acquaintences. Given the nature of my relationships with my parents, I am pretty sure I would end up with a marriage that reflects them-- and I have, I think, wisely not chosen to marry up to now. I may change my mind, and I have done a lot of work on my emotional garbage, and I am a great deal more aware of relationship dynamics than I was, so I may at this point not be doomed to repeat some version of my mother in a spouse. And aside from food being my psychological drug of choice, the fat has kept most of the males at a distance, so I didn't have to run them off with nasty behaviors. After this surgery, we will just see if I can create some more healthy dynamics. So, Steff, you are not the only wounded duck on this pond. Doing the emotional work to move beyond the hurts left behind by your family of origin is an adventure of it's own! Welcome to the flock! Nan E. (pre-panni and waiting) --- Blanshan stephs_dolphin@...> wrote: > Nan, > > . I do also have a distrusting side > to me, and yes I do not get into " close " relationships, but have the > childhood that I did and HELL NO no one would want one. Than is something > that yes I need to work on. I thank you for your thoughts and assistance!! > Everyone's assistance that I have received from this list is AMAZING!!! It > is something that I need to get used to. I am not used to having people NOT > judge you by how you look and be willing to lend such support and assistance > when it is needed. I just need to learn how to ask for help a little more > often. I am one that is not one to ask for help! I keep thinking of that > movie 28 Days with Bullock where she is in the drug rehab program and > has to wear the sign around her neck about asking for help. Maybe that is > what I need, a big sign that says if I do not ask for help, harass me until > I do...basically. Thank You All!!!!!! > > No matter how hard a bear tries, > he WILL NOT lose weight without exercise!! > ~Winnie the Pooh > Lots Of Love.... > lynn __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2001 Report Share Posted May 6, 2001 Awww, Sweetie! You are entirely welcome! One of the wonderful things about the internet and the zilllions of support groups is that no one knows what you look like, and therefore no book gets judged by it's cover! This group is especially fun because we can admit to having problems with thigh bulges, gas,and whatever with confidence that everyone else can relate. It is the beauty of support groups. talk about your childhood from hell--It is my personal conviction that one does not grow up with issues around food with out a generous amount of emotional hardship from the period under age 5, with a serious amount of emotional neglect and/or abuse under age 3. All it takes is a primary care giver who is an emotional basket case and unable to interact with and perceive the infant human as a separate and different but defendant person. They call it the relationship dance between mother and child-- but it is equally true for any care giver. Now, my mother was/is an intermittent paranoid schizophrenic, and when she wasn't flat out looney, she was completely self absorbed to the point where she never really has perceived me as a truly separate and distinct individual. That is a pretty lonely place for a baby defendant on her for every interaction in a 12 hour day. I thank God/goddess/the universe at large that I had a decent Dad, and my maternal Grandmother who were at least kind and sane. All you have to do to see the effect my mother had on my brother is to look at the selfish character of his first wife (the second one is an improvement, but he is still the caretaker in the relationship, she is just nicer about it.) When No.1 abandoned the marriage emotionally, my brother became suicidally depressed and ended up on my door step. Boy oh boy, was that an eye opener. He has never managed to separate from Mom, and each of his wives has provided him with the same co-Dependant relationship he has with her. Interestingly, he is almost always furious with mom, way out of proportion with whatever she has been doing-- he is really angry with one or the other of the wives, but he can't tolerate that emotion inside their relationship, so it all gets dumped on mom. She is clueless about it, and she really is a pain, so no harm done there. But it means I am stuck making sure her broken fridge gets replaced, and reminding her that cars do need maintenance to run well. Oops, I didn't mean to run on so much! But I can relate to your childhood from hell! And I don't easily trust people either-- I have a handful of close friends that I have collected over the years, and a large assortment of people I would call acquaintences. Given the nature of my relationships with my parents, I am pretty sure I would end up with a marriage that reflects them-- and I have, I think, wisely not chosen to marry up to now. I may change my mind, and I have done a lot of work on my emotional garbage, and I am a great deal more aware of relationship dynamics than I was, so I may at this point not be doomed to repeat some version of my mother in a spouse. And aside from food being my psychological drug of choice, the fat has kept most of the males at a distance, so I didn't have to run them off with nasty behaviors. After this surgery, we will just see if I can create some more healthy dynamics. So, Steff, you are not the only wounded duck on this pond. Doing the emotional work to move beyond the hurts left behind by your family of origin is an adventure of it's own! Welcome to the flock! Nan E. (pre-panni and waiting) --- Blanshan stephs_dolphin@...> wrote: > Nan, > > . I do also have a distrusting side > to me, and yes I do not get into " close " relationships, but have the > childhood that I did and HELL NO no one would want one. Than is something > that yes I need to work on. I thank you for your thoughts and assistance!! > Everyone's assistance that I have received from this list is AMAZING!!! It > is something that I need to get used to. I am not used to having people NOT > judge you by how you look and be willing to lend such support and assistance > when it is needed. I just need to learn how to ask for help a little more > often. I am one that is not one to ask for help! I keep thinking of that > movie 28 Days with Bullock where she is in the drug rehab program and > has to wear the sign around her neck about asking for help. Maybe that is > what I need, a big sign that says if I do not ask for help, harass me until > I do...basically. Thank You All!!!!!! > > No matter how hard a bear tries, > he WILL NOT lose weight without exercise!! > ~Winnie the Pooh > Lots Of Love.... > lynn __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 6, 2001 Report Share Posted May 6, 2001 Awww, Sweetie! You are entirely welcome! One of the wonderful things about the internet and the zilllions of support groups is that no one knows what you look like, and therefore no book gets judged by it's cover! This group is especially fun because we can admit to having problems with thigh bulges, gas,and whatever with confidence that everyone else can relate. It is the beauty of support groups. talk about your childhood from hell--It is my personal conviction that one does not grow up with issues around food with out a generous amount of emotional hardship from the period under age 5, with a serious amount of emotional neglect and/or abuse under age 3. All it takes is a primary care giver who is an emotional basket case and unable to interact with and perceive the infant human as a separate and different but defendant person. They call it the relationship dance between mother and child-- but it is equally true for any care giver. Now, my mother was/is an intermittent paranoid schizophrenic, and when she wasn't flat out looney, she was completely self absorbed to the point where she never really has perceived me as a truly separate and distinct individual. That is a pretty lonely place for a baby defendant on her for every interaction in a 12 hour day. I thank God/goddess/the universe at large that I had a decent Dad, and my maternal Grandmother who were at least kind and sane. All you have to do to see the effect my mother had on my brother is to look at the selfish character of his first wife (the second one is an improvement, but he is still the caretaker in the relationship, she is just nicer about it.) When No.1 abandoned the marriage emotionally, my brother became suicidally depressed and ended up on my door step. Boy oh boy, was that an eye opener. He has never managed to separate from Mom, and each of his wives has provided him with the same co-Dependant relationship he has with her. Interestingly, he is almost always furious with mom, way out of proportion with whatever she has been doing-- he is really angry with one or the other of the wives, but he can't tolerate that emotion inside their relationship, so it all gets dumped on mom. She is clueless about it, and she really is a pain, so no harm done there. But it means I am stuck making sure her broken fridge gets replaced, and reminding her that cars do need maintenance to run well. Oops, I didn't mean to run on so much! But I can relate to your childhood from hell! And I don't easily trust people either-- I have a handful of close friends that I have collected over the years, and a large assortment of people I would call acquaintences. Given the nature of my relationships with my parents, I am pretty sure I would end up with a marriage that reflects them-- and I have, I think, wisely not chosen to marry up to now. I may change my mind, and I have done a lot of work on my emotional garbage, and I am a great deal more aware of relationship dynamics than I was, so I may at this point not be doomed to repeat some version of my mother in a spouse. And aside from food being my psychological drug of choice, the fat has kept most of the males at a distance, so I didn't have to run them off with nasty behaviors. After this surgery, we will just see if I can create some more healthy dynamics. So, Steff, you are not the only wounded duck on this pond. Doing the emotional work to move beyond the hurts left behind by your family of origin is an adventure of it's own! Welcome to the flock! Nan E. (pre-panni and waiting) --- Blanshan stephs_dolphin@...> wrote: > Nan, > > . I do also have a distrusting side > to me, and yes I do not get into " close " relationships, but have the > childhood that I did and HELL NO no one would want one. Than is something > that yes I need to work on. I thank you for your thoughts and assistance!! > Everyone's assistance that I have received from this list is AMAZING!!! It > is something that I need to get used to. I am not used to having people NOT > judge you by how you look and be willing to lend such support and assistance > when it is needed. I just need to learn how to ask for help a little more > often. I am one that is not one to ask for help! I keep thinking of that > movie 28 Days with Bullock where she is in the drug rehab program and > has to wear the sign around her neck about asking for help. Maybe that is > what I need, a big sign that says if I do not ask for help, harass me until > I do...basically. Thank You All!!!!!! > > No matter how hard a bear tries, > he WILL NOT lose weight without exercise!! > ~Winnie the Pooh > Lots Of Love.... > lynn __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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