Guest guest Posted August 8, 2005 Report Share Posted August 8, 2005 Wow...that is very difficult, Pam. I didn't realize that you had such a difficult time of it. Well, any chance that you can get someone to help you just for an hour every day? You could go out and take a walk... Maybe you could enlist a few friends or relatives to give you an hour or two a week? If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to be there consistently for your son while he goes through all of this. Sometimes you can find a little relief care. Tak to Kaiser and see if they have anything like that, if you can't afford to get someone in. While the therapist is there, do you have to be there? I'm sure you want to be, and you'd only leave your son if you can be very sure that the therapist is trustworthy...but maybe you could dash out and take a walk, and get some fresh air while one of the therapists is working with him? Robynnflo boss wrote: Thank you for all of the grewat ideas! I think that Itry a few of them, if not all. (Except for thepainting. I am so not into painting!) But the ideaabout taking a few courses on line was the mostinteresting!Oh , and to answer your question: I have afour-year-old who has 40-hours of in-home therapy eachweek, and because he is exhausted after his 40-hourwork week, I don't think it fair to take him out afterthe last therapist leaves for the afternoon, (5:00pm).Pam--- Robynn VanPatten wrote:> Why are you stuck at home? Do you have a physical> problem that prevents you from going outside? I> don't remember. A small baby? People you need to> care for?> > How about taking up some art? Learning to> paint...not worrying about the product, but just> enjoying the process of creation...like a child. > Learn to just paint whatever you feel. If you were> to choose a color that mirrors your current> feelings, what color would it be? And what if you> did paint a house with wings, would that be ok?> > The problem with the television is that it takes,> but it doesn't give back. That's why it is> boring...no interaction. Even if you have no real> talent, you can paint. It's fun. You can lose> yourself for hours.> > Physical activity, if at all possible, should be> done. You need fresh air. You need the opportunity> to just be, you know? Worst case scenario, you can> get those tapes that show you how to do exercises> while sitting down. I think they are called "Sit> and Fit" or something like that, and you can even> borrow them from Kaiser's Health Education center. > watch those instead of tv...and even if you don't do> it all, you'll be inspired.> > Start writing. Write out your feelings, your> journey, your thoughts about what weight means to> you, what it will mean to you to lose the weight. > Think of every little niggling detail, and write it> out. Your mind will be engaged...and it will> relieve boredom.> > If you are truly stuck at home, can you sign up for> online classroom work with a local college? Take a> literature course where you need to read, or learn a> new language (French being my favorite, of course),> start thinking about life after obesity. Start> living life today as a fulfilled person...so that> when you transition to your new slim self...you> aren't completely overwhelmed with your upcoming> options.> > There are things you can do, it just requires a> little motivation and courage. Live life. It's the> only one you have. If you start taking classes> today, for example (and you can take a lot of them> online), in a few years, you will have a degree. > Maybe, in a couple of years, when you are getting> thinner...you can start actually going to class on> campus...and then, as you start to get out of the> cocoon of extra weight, you will take off as a> butterfly, WITH A DEGREE. You can have more> confidence because of the school, more confidence> because of your weight...and then maybe you can> start a whole new career, that puts money in your> pocket (which youll need for your new clothes), and> a spring in your step.> > Don't be limited by reality and pragmatics...live> your dreams. YOU are really the only one stopping> yourself from doing that. Think about it. You can> make a choice to pursue what you really want to be, > Your weight won't stop you anymore...and you can> become your own best friend, instead of your biggest> obstacle. > > Life, my friend, is huge and sweet and juicy. Eat> it up.> > Robynn> > flo boss wrote:> Robynn, I loved this post soooo much that I am> printing it out on paper so I can reveiw as needed.> But I do have a problem, however; what do you do> when> you are stuck at home 24 hours a day, 5 days week?> There is no going for walks, or to the park, or out> with friends; it's just you and the TV... (or I> COULD> work on my Creative Memories albums!!) But after> I've caught up, then what? I KNOW that I eat out of> boredom, and also, as I have recently discovered,> out> of resentment as well. Anyway, any advice on what to> do when stuck at home CONSTANTLY?> > Pam> > --- Robynn VanPatten wrote:> > > Dean, > > > > I think that you have touched upon one of the most> > critical components for your potential success> with> > the surgery. You really need to peel the onion> (to> > steal Dr. Fisher's expression) to look at the> > reasons you eat. Many of us eat rather than deal> > directly with some of the emotions you mention> > below. It's a way to choke down the feelings> rather> > than actually acknowledge, feel and potentially> > confront others about those feelings.> > > > Boredom is easy: as you lose the weight, you> become> > more free to do the things that you want to do. > > There is simply more freedom in being lighter. I> > have always been active, regardless of my weight. > > But, my weight definitely did hold me back. Now> I'm> > seriously contemplating beginning salsa lessons> this> > month, I'm feeling less shy about pursuing> > non-solitary hobbies that I am interested in...and> I> > fill my life with people and activity...instead of> > food and television.> > > > But, it's the great anesthetizer, isn't it? Food> > and television. A powerful wallup. Now, I never> > turn on the television...and I find that I have> time> > to take a walk, to write a letter, to do all kinds> > of things. Even FEEL.> > > > So, you substitute reality for artifice> (food)...and> > that works pretty well. It can be scary, but it> > works. The thing about eating is that it only> dulls> > the feelings for a moment. The second you> > swallow...you are back again, feeling the feelings> > you were trying to avoid. They don't really go> > away. So, finding a more constructive way to> handle> > your true feelings the first go around...well,> it's> > much more likely to end up positively...isn't it? > > Write it out, talk it out, contemplate it out. > > > > > And, after some work...you can do more than> > temporarily dull the pain of certain emotions. > You> > can change your way of thinking. I'm working on> > that. Learning to become more positive and> actually> > focused on truth.> > > > Anyway...I seem to have pulled a hamstring or some> > muscle in my thigh that is hurting mightily...so> I'm> > going to go dull my pain with some drugs...and I'm> > already fading fast...time for night night.> > > > Robynn > > > > Lucia wrote:> > > > > As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what> > people do when the > > are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn> to> > food, ...and they > > can't...other than a tiny amount????> > > > > > I also wonder if there are many people who lose> > the amount of > > weight they are told to before the surgery and> > decide they can > > continue doing that, instead of having the> > surgery???> > > dean> > > > Dean: My daughter had GB a couple of years ago> and> > lost 240Pds. One > > of the hardest thing for her to learn was how not> to> > count of food to > > help you with the depression, bordom and etc. She> > had to deal with > > the problem, find a solutation and go on with her> > life - at times she > > would cry and other times she would talk about how> > she was feeling > > rather then eat and surpress those feelings. Gee> > sounds almost like -> > that is what we a suppose to do - what an idea. > > Has far as > === message truncated === ____________________________________________________Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2005 Report Share Posted August 8, 2005 I do get 16-hours of respite care each month, provided for by the State. (KP does not cover the cost of respite care unless the family member is terminally ill.) But the 16 hours is taken for my Tuesday Binge-Eating classes, and for the once-a-month Thursday WLS support group on Thursday evenings, (my 1st Thursday night class will be this week; I am sooo excited!!). If I have anything left over, (which I usually do not), I spend it grocery shopping so that I don't have to bring my son, (I am a single mom). And unfortunatly, I HAVE to stay here while the therapists are here. It is a " liability " issue with their company; someone over the age of 18 must be present at all times while the therapists are here. Also, the therapist will work with my son up to 50 minutes, and then he will have a 10 to 20 minute break with me, and then back to the therapist he goes. This goes on from 8-noon then from 1-5, 5 days a week. (he has a one hour break for lunch, and it takes that long to get the food down him!!) Anyway.... not much spontanaity (sp?) for this household, I am afraid. Pam b --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote: > Wow...that is very difficult, Pam. I didn't realize > that you had such a difficult time of it. Well, any > chance that you can get someone to help you just for > an hour every day? You could go out and take a > walk... > > Maybe you could enlist a few friends or relatives to > give you an hour or two a week? If you don't take > care of yourself, you won't be able to be there > consistently for your son while he goes through all > of this. Sometimes you can find a little relief > care. Tak to Kaiser and see if they have anything > like that, if you can't afford to get someone in. > > While the therapist is there, do you have to be > there? I'm sure you want to be, and you'd only > leave your son if you can be very sure that the > therapist is trustworthy...but maybe you could dash > out and take a walk, and get some fresh air while > one of the therapists is working with him? > > Robynn > > flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote: > Thank you for all of the grewat ideas! I think that > I > try a few of them, if not all. (Except for the > painting. I am so not into painting!) But the idea > about taking a few courses on line was the most > interesting! > > Oh , and to answer your question: I have a > four-year-old who has 40-hours of in-home therapy > each > week, and because he is exhausted after his 40-hour > work week, I don't think it fair to take him out > after > the last therapist leaves for the afternoon, > (5:00pm). > > Pam > > --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote: > > > Why are you stuck at home? Do you have a physical > > problem that prevents you from going outside? I > > don't remember. A small baby? People you need to > > care for? > > > > How about taking up some art? Learning to > > paint...not worrying about the product, but just > > enjoying the process of creation...like a child. > > Learn to just paint whatever you feel. If you > were > > to choose a color that mirrors your current > > feelings, what color would it be? And what if you > > did paint a house with wings, would that be ok? > > > > The problem with the television is that it takes, > > but it doesn't give back. That's why it is > > boring...no interaction. Even if you have no real > > talent, you can paint. It's fun. You can lose > > yourself for hours. > > > > Physical activity, if at all possible, should be > > done. You need fresh air. You need the > opportunity > > to just be, you know? Worst case scenario, you > can > > get those tapes that show you how to do exercises > > while sitting down. I think they are called " Sit > > and Fit " or something like that, and you can even > > borrow them from Kaiser's Health Education center. > > > watch those instead of tv...and even if you don't > do > > it all, you'll be inspired. > > > > Start writing. Write out your feelings, your > > journey, your thoughts about what weight means to > > you, what it will mean to you to lose the weight. > > Think of every little niggling detail, and write > it > > out. Your mind will be engaged...and it will > > relieve boredom. > > > > If you are truly stuck at home, can you sign up > for > > online classroom work with a local college? Take > a > > literature course where you need to read, or learn > a > > new language (French being my favorite, of > course), > > start thinking about life after obesity. Start > > living life today as a fulfilled person...so that > > when you transition to your new slim self...you > > aren't completely overwhelmed with your upcoming > > options. > > > > There are things you can do, it just requires a > > little motivation and courage. Live life. It's > the > > only one you have. If you start taking classes > > today, for example (and you can take a lot of them > > online), in a few years, you will have a degree. > > Maybe, in a couple of years, when you are getting > > thinner...you can start actually going to class on > > campus...and then, as you start to get out of the > > cocoon of extra weight, you will take off as a > > butterfly, WITH A DEGREE. You can have more > > confidence because of the school, more confidence > > because of your weight...and then maybe you can > > start a whole new career, that puts money in your > > pocket (which youll need for your new clothes), > and > > a spring in your step. > > > > Don't be limited by reality and pragmatics...live > > your dreams. YOU are really the only one stopping > > yourself from doing that. Think about it. You > can > > make a choice to pursue what you really want to > be, > > Your weight won't stop you anymore...and you can > > become your own best friend, instead of your > biggest > > obstacle. > > > > Life, my friend, is huge and sweet and juicy. Eat > > it up. > > > > Robynn > > > > flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote: > > Robynn, I loved this post soooo much that I am > > printing it out on paper so I can reveiw as > needed. > > But I do have a problem, however; what do you do > > when > > you are stuck at home 24 hours a day, 5 days week? > > There is no going for walks, or to the park, or > out > > with friends; it's just you and the TV... (or I > > COULD > > work on my Creative Memories albums!!) But after > > I've caught up, then what? I KNOW that I eat out > of > > boredom, and also, as I have recently discovered, > > out > > of resentment as well. Anyway, any advice on what > to > > do when stuck at home CONSTANTLY? > > > > Pam > > > > --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> > wrote: > > > > > Dean, > > > > > > I think that you have touched upon one of the > most > > > critical components for your potential success > > with > > > the surgery. You really need to peel the onion > > (to > > > steal Dr. Fisher's expression) to look at the > > > reasons you eat. Many of us eat rather than > deal > > > directly with some of the emotions you mention > > > below. It's a way to choke down the feelings > > rather > > > than actually acknowledge, feel and potentially > > > confront others about those feelings. > > > > > > Boredom is easy: as you lose the weight, you > > become > > > more free to do the things that you want to do. > > > There is simply more freedom in being lighter. > I > > > have always been active, regardless of my > weight. > > > But, my weight definitely did hold me back. Now > > I'm > > > seriously contemplating beginning salsa lessons > > this > > > month, I'm feeling less shy about pursuing > > > non-solitary hobbies that I am interested > in...and > > I > > > fill my life with people and activity...instead > of > > > food and television. > > > > > > But, it's the great anesthetizer, isn't it? > Food > > > and television. A powerful wallup. Now, I > never > > > turn on the television...and I find that I have > > time > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2005 Report Share Posted August 8, 2005 I do get 16-hours of respite care each month, provided for by the State. (KP does not cover the cost of respite care unless the family member is terminally ill.) But the 16 hours is taken for my Tuesday Binge-Eating classes, and for the once-a-month Thursday WLS support group on Thursday evenings, (my 1st Thursday night class will be this week; I am sooo excited!!). If I have anything left over, (which I usually do not), I spend it grocery shopping so that I don't have to bring my son, (I am a single mom). And unfortunatly, I HAVE to stay here while the therapists are here. It is a " liability " issue with their company; someone over the age of 18 must be present at all times while the therapists are here. Also, the therapist will work with my son up to 50 minutes, and then he will have a 10 to 20 minute break with me, and then back to the therapist he goes. This goes on from 8-noon then from 1-5, 5 days a week. (he has a one hour break for lunch, and it takes that long to get the food down him!!) Anyway.... not much spontanaity (sp?) for this household, I am afraid. Pam b --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote: > Wow...that is very difficult, Pam. I didn't realize > that you had such a difficult time of it. Well, any > chance that you can get someone to help you just for > an hour every day? You could go out and take a > walk... > > Maybe you could enlist a few friends or relatives to > give you an hour or two a week? If you don't take > care of yourself, you won't be able to be there > consistently for your son while he goes through all > of this. Sometimes you can find a little relief > care. Tak to Kaiser and see if they have anything > like that, if you can't afford to get someone in. > > While the therapist is there, do you have to be > there? I'm sure you want to be, and you'd only > leave your son if you can be very sure that the > therapist is trustworthy...but maybe you could dash > out and take a walk, and get some fresh air while > one of the therapists is working with him? > > Robynn > > flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote: > Thank you for all of the grewat ideas! I think that > I > try a few of them, if not all. (Except for the > painting. I am so not into painting!) But the idea > about taking a few courses on line was the most > interesting! > > Oh , and to answer your question: I have a > four-year-old who has 40-hours of in-home therapy > each > week, and because he is exhausted after his 40-hour > work week, I don't think it fair to take him out > after > the last therapist leaves for the afternoon, > (5:00pm). > > Pam > > --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote: > > > Why are you stuck at home? Do you have a physical > > problem that prevents you from going outside? I > > don't remember. A small baby? People you need to > > care for? > > > > How about taking up some art? Learning to > > paint...not worrying about the product, but just > > enjoying the process of creation...like a child. > > Learn to just paint whatever you feel. If you > were > > to choose a color that mirrors your current > > feelings, what color would it be? And what if you > > did paint a house with wings, would that be ok? > > > > The problem with the television is that it takes, > > but it doesn't give back. That's why it is > > boring...no interaction. Even if you have no real > > talent, you can paint. It's fun. You can lose > > yourself for hours. > > > > Physical activity, if at all possible, should be > > done. You need fresh air. You need the > opportunity > > to just be, you know? Worst case scenario, you > can > > get those tapes that show you how to do exercises > > while sitting down. I think they are called " Sit > > and Fit " or something like that, and you can even > > borrow them from Kaiser's Health Education center. > > > watch those instead of tv...and even if you don't > do > > it all, you'll be inspired. > > > > Start writing. Write out your feelings, your > > journey, your thoughts about what weight means to > > you, what it will mean to you to lose the weight. > > Think of every little niggling detail, and write > it > > out. Your mind will be engaged...and it will > > relieve boredom. > > > > If you are truly stuck at home, can you sign up > for > > online classroom work with a local college? Take > a > > literature course where you need to read, or learn > a > > new language (French being my favorite, of > course), > > start thinking about life after obesity. Start > > living life today as a fulfilled person...so that > > when you transition to your new slim self...you > > aren't completely overwhelmed with your upcoming > > options. > > > > There are things you can do, it just requires a > > little motivation and courage. Live life. It's > the > > only one you have. If you start taking classes > > today, for example (and you can take a lot of them > > online), in a few years, you will have a degree. > > Maybe, in a couple of years, when you are getting > > thinner...you can start actually going to class on > > campus...and then, as you start to get out of the > > cocoon of extra weight, you will take off as a > > butterfly, WITH A DEGREE. You can have more > > confidence because of the school, more confidence > > because of your weight...and then maybe you can > > start a whole new career, that puts money in your > > pocket (which youll need for your new clothes), > and > > a spring in your step. > > > > Don't be limited by reality and pragmatics...live > > your dreams. YOU are really the only one stopping > > yourself from doing that. Think about it. You > can > > make a choice to pursue what you really want to > be, > > Your weight won't stop you anymore...and you can > > become your own best friend, instead of your > biggest > > obstacle. > > > > Life, my friend, is huge and sweet and juicy. Eat > > it up. > > > > Robynn > > > > flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote: > > Robynn, I loved this post soooo much that I am > > printing it out on paper so I can reveiw as > needed. > > But I do have a problem, however; what do you do > > when > > you are stuck at home 24 hours a day, 5 days week? > > There is no going for walks, or to the park, or > out > > with friends; it's just you and the TV... (or I > > COULD > > work on my Creative Memories albums!!) But after > > I've caught up, then what? I KNOW that I eat out > of > > boredom, and also, as I have recently discovered, > > out > > of resentment as well. Anyway, any advice on what > to > > do when stuck at home CONSTANTLY? > > > > Pam > > > > --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> > wrote: > > > > > Dean, > > > > > > I think that you have touched upon one of the > most > > > critical components for your potential success > > with > > > the surgery. You really need to peel the onion > > (to > > > steal Dr. Fisher's expression) to look at the > > > reasons you eat. Many of us eat rather than > deal > > > directly with some of the emotions you mention > > > below. It's a way to choke down the feelings > > rather > > > than actually acknowledge, feel and potentially > > > confront others about those feelings. > > > > > > Boredom is easy: as you lose the weight, you > > become > > > more free to do the things that you want to do. > > > There is simply more freedom in being lighter. > I > > > have always been active, regardless of my > weight. > > > But, my weight definitely did hold me back. Now > > I'm > > > seriously contemplating beginning salsa lessons > > this > > > month, I'm feeling less shy about pursuing > > > non-solitary hobbies that I am interested > in...and > > I > > > fill my life with people and activity...instead > of > > > food and television. > > > > > > But, it's the great anesthetizer, isn't it? > Food > > > and television. A powerful wallup. Now, I > never > > > turn on the television...and I find that I have > > time > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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