Re: What happens when we hurt each other

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Robynn. And no, I have never written a big

nasty gram to anyone, (not even my ex:))

Pam b

--- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

> Flo...it's totally fine for you to talk about things

> that are " off " subject. Really. Every part of our

> lives touch us on an emotional level...and that's

> what sometimes drives us to eat excessively. I'm

> sure you are not what she was talking about.

>

> Some people are put off by too much

> evangelizing..but I haven't found that to be in

> evidence on this board recently...perhaps they are

> talking about things that happened in the past.

>

> The bottom line is that if you weren't someone who

> wrote a big nasty gram to anybody...don't worry

> about it. The message wasn't for you.

>

> We are all vulnerable at this place in our

> lives...and some people take advantage of that

> vulnerability. Some people don't even realize that

> they are being predatory. They aren't sensitive to

> the fact that many of us are very vulnerable. Even

> if we are power brokers in other areas of our lives,

> this whole taking the fat suit off is a very scary

> thing for most of us.

>

> I'm not sure what/who Martha is talking about in

> particular, but the message is a good one. Be

> honest, always. But not cruel to others. Remember

> we are all fragile beings, just making our way in

> this world. And with those things in mind, we'll

> all do just fine.

>

> Robynn

>

> flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote:

> I, too, am truly sorry if I have said anything that

> could have possibly offended anyone, (although I

> don't

> think that I have). I know that my talking about my

> son's " condition " may have been off the subject of

> this group, but not really when you consider that I

> KNOW that alot of my binge-eating has been

> associated

> with my son's illnesses. I really needed the support

> of the many of you who responded to my postings.

>

> And Pam, Although I am not really a prayer kind of

> gal, I completely do not mind that you suggest

> prayer.

> In fact, it is sometimes rather comforting to hear

> you

> suggest it.

>

> Pam

>

> --- Pamela A Marsh sweetnlow20012001@...>

> wrote:

>

> > Hi Martha. I think you have touched on some very

> > serious issues here and this is the place to do

> so.

> > I

> > hope that if it was me that said something to hurt

> > or

> > offend you or anyone on the board that you all

> would

> > forgive me. That is completely the last thing I

> > would

> > want to do to anyone.

> >

> > I think the only thing that I really want to

> comment

> > on here is your note about christianity (i.e.,

> > praying, etc.). I do put this in my emails

> > especially

> > when someone is worried, stressed, upset, etc.

> > because

> > I know that I find peace in the midst of a storm

> > when

> > I pray. When I say pray, I am saying to whomever

> > you

> > believe it is your higher power (no matter what

> you

> > religious preference is).

> >

> > I hope whatever sprung this up will be resolved

> real

> > soon. Best of luck to you Martha and for what it

> is

> > worth, I am sorry if you were the person that got

> > hurt. Take care.

> >

> > Pam Marsh

> >

> > --- " M. Silverspring " nurseferatu@...>

> wrote:

> >

> > >

> > > I don't exactly know what to say, I just want to

> > put

> > > this out

> > > there:

> > > Please remember what we came here for: WLS

> > support.

> > > Whether or

> > > not we agree or vehemently disagree about how we

> > do

> > > or don't do

> > > our WLS Path, everyone deserves to be treated

> with

> > > respect. I've

> > > seen a couple types of situations that put our

> > > support

> > > connections at risk.

> > > Sometimes people lose perspective and say mean

> or

> > > hurtful

> > > things. They don't always apologize when they

> > > probably should.

> > > But retaliating with personal comments or emails

> > > about other

> > > peoples' families, lives, or personal stuff

> isn't

> > > okay. Never

> > > post something on a list that you don't want

> > > everyone on all the

> > > other lists to read. And remember: If you send

> an

> > > ugly and

> > > offensive email to someone privately, there is

> no

> > > law against

> > > them " outing' you by publishing it to the larger

> > > list. If they

> > > don't do this it's only because they're more

> > > civilized than you

> > > are.

> > > Some of us are experiencing new bodies and not

> > good

> > > at knowing

> > > what to do with new kinds of attention. Dating

> > each

> > > other can

> > > work, or it can turn out to be a mistake.

> Whether

> > > you're male or

> > > female, No means NO. A relationship is not a

> > > democracy; it ends

> > > when one of the parties says it's over.

> Stalking,

> > > controlling,

> > > threatening, or manipulative behavior is not

> okay.

> > > And using the

> > > meetings as a place to pick up vulnerable

> post-ops

> > > is just

> > > wrong.

> > > Occasionally religious differences crop up. Some

> > of

> > > us are not

> > > religious, or are not main-stream

> Judeo-Christian,

> > > and feel

> > > persecuted if we're told to pray or praise god

> or

> > > whatever. Some

> > > of us feel persecuted if we are asked to NOT say

> > > those things. I

> > > don't have an answer, I just know that both

> sides

> > > can feel both

> > > hurt and right.

> > > I'm saying this because recently I had a

> > > conversation with

> > > someone about why she wasn't around anymore.

> Over

> > > the past year

> > > I've seen more than one friend suffer at the

> hands

> > > of other

> > > support group members, both online and in

> > real-time

> > > meetings.

> > > Some very wise people have quietly dropped away.

> > > This hurts me,

> > > and it hurts all of us.

> > > Martha

> > >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >