Re: What happens when we hurt each other

[Guest guest]

Hi Martha. I think you have touched on some very

serious issues here and this is the place to do so. I

hope that if it was me that said something to hurt or

offend you or anyone on the board that you all would

forgive me. That is completely the last thing I would

want to do to anyone.

I think the only thing that I really want to comment

on here is your note about christianity (i.e.,

praying, etc.). I do put this in my emails especially

when someone is worried, stressed, upset, etc. because

I know that I find peace in the midst of a storm when

I pray. When I say pray, I am saying to whomever you

believe it is your higher power (no matter what you

religious preference is).

I hope whatever sprung this up will be resolved real

soon. Best of luck to you Martha and for what it is

worth, I am sorry if you were the person that got

hurt. Take care.

Pam Marsh

--- " M. Silverspring " nurseferatu@...> wrote:

>

> I don't exactly know what to say, I just want to put

> this out

> there:

> Please remember what we came here for: WLS support.

> Whether or

> not we agree or vehemently disagree about how we do

> or don't do

> our WLS Path, everyone deserves to be treated with

> respect. I've

> seen a couple types of situations that put our

> support

> connections at risk.

> Sometimes people lose perspective and say mean or

> hurtful

> things. They don't always apologize when they

> probably should.

> But retaliating with personal comments or emails

> about other

> peoples' families, lives, or personal stuff isn't

> okay. Never

> post something on a list that you don't want

> everyone on all the

> other lists to read. And remember: If you send an

> ugly and

> offensive email to someone privately, there is no

> law against

> them " outing' you by publishing it to the larger

> list. If they

> don't do this it's only because they're more

> civilized than you

> are.

> Some of us are experiencing new bodies and not good

> at knowing

> what to do with new kinds of attention. Dating each

> other can

> work, or it can turn out to be a mistake. Whether

> you're male or

> female, No means NO. A relationship is not a

> democracy; it ends

> when one of the parties says it's over. Stalking,

> controlling,

> threatening, or manipulative behavior is not okay.

> And using the

> meetings as a place to pick up vulnerable post-ops

> is just

> wrong.

> Occasionally religious differences crop up. Some of

> us are not

> religious, or are not main-stream Judeo-Christian,

> and feel

> persecuted if we're told to pray or praise god or

> whatever. Some

> of us feel persecuted if we are asked to NOT say

> those things. I

> don't have an answer, I just know that both sides

> can feel both

> hurt and right.

> I'm saying this because recently I had a

> conversation with

> someone about why she wasn't around anymore. Over

> the past year

> I've seen more than one friend suffer at the hands

> of other

> support group members, both online and in real-time

> meetings.

> Some very wise people have quietly dropped away.

> This hurts me,

> and it hurts all of us.

> Martha

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Martha. I think you have touched on some very

serious issues here and this is the place to do so. I

hope that if it was me that said something to hurt or

offend you or anyone on the board that you all would

forgive me. That is completely the last thing I would

want to do to anyone.

I think the only thing that I really want to comment

on here is your note about christianity (i.e.,

praying, etc.). I do put this in my emails especially

when someone is worried, stressed, upset, etc. because

I know that I find peace in the midst of a storm when

I pray. When I say pray, I am saying to whomever you

believe it is your higher power (no matter what you

religious preference is).

I hope whatever sprung this up will be resolved real

soon. Best of luck to you Martha and for what it is

worth, I am sorry if you were the person that got

hurt. Take care.

Pam Marsh

--- " M. Silverspring " nurseferatu@...> wrote:

>

> I don't exactly know what to say, I just want to put

> this out

> there:

> Please remember what we came here for: WLS support.

> Whether or

> not we agree or vehemently disagree about how we do

> or don't do

> our WLS Path, everyone deserves to be treated with

> respect. I've

> seen a couple types of situations that put our

> support

> connections at risk.

> Sometimes people lose perspective and say mean or

> hurtful

> things. They don't always apologize when they

> probably should.

> But retaliating with personal comments or emails

> about other

> peoples' families, lives, or personal stuff isn't

> okay. Never

> post something on a list that you don't want

> everyone on all the

> other lists to read. And remember: If you send an

> ugly and

> offensive email to someone privately, there is no

> law against

> them " outing' you by publishing it to the larger

> list. If they

> don't do this it's only because they're more

> civilized than you

> are.

> Some of us are experiencing new bodies and not good

> at knowing

> what to do with new kinds of attention. Dating each

> other can

> work, or it can turn out to be a mistake. Whether

> you're male or

> female, No means NO. A relationship is not a

> democracy; it ends

> when one of the parties says it's over. Stalking,

> controlling,

> threatening, or manipulative behavior is not okay.

> And using the

> meetings as a place to pick up vulnerable post-ops

> is just

> wrong.

> Occasionally religious differences crop up. Some of

> us are not

> religious, or are not main-stream Judeo-Christian,

> and feel

> persecuted if we're told to pray or praise god or

> whatever. Some

> of us feel persecuted if we are asked to NOT say

> those things. I

> don't have an answer, I just know that both sides

> can feel both

> hurt and right.

> I'm saying this because recently I had a

> conversation with

> someone about why she wasn't around anymore. Over

> the past year

> I've seen more than one friend suffer at the hands

> of other

> support group members, both online and in real-time

> meetings.

> Some very wise people have quietly dropped away.

> This hurts me,

> and it hurts all of us.

> Martha

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Martha. I think you have touched on some very

serious issues here and this is the place to do so. I

hope that if it was me that said something to hurt or

offend you or anyone on the board that you all would

forgive me. That is completely the last thing I would

want to do to anyone.

I think the only thing that I really want to comment

on here is your note about christianity (i.e.,

praying, etc.). I do put this in my emails especially

when someone is worried, stressed, upset, etc. because

I know that I find peace in the midst of a storm when

I pray. When I say pray, I am saying to whomever you

believe it is your higher power (no matter what you

religious preference is).

I hope whatever sprung this up will be resolved real

soon. Best of luck to you Martha and for what it is

worth, I am sorry if you were the person that got

hurt. Take care.

Pam Marsh

--- " M. Silverspring " nurseferatu@...> wrote:

>

> I don't exactly know what to say, I just want to put

> this out

> there:

> Please remember what we came here for: WLS support.

> Whether or

> not we agree or vehemently disagree about how we do

> or don't do

> our WLS Path, everyone deserves to be treated with

> respect. I've

> seen a couple types of situations that put our

> support

> connections at risk.

> Sometimes people lose perspective and say mean or

> hurtful

> things. They don't always apologize when they

> probably should.

> But retaliating with personal comments or emails

> about other

> peoples' families, lives, or personal stuff isn't

> okay. Never

> post something on a list that you don't want

> everyone on all the

> other lists to read. And remember: If you send an

> ugly and

> offensive email to someone privately, there is no

> law against

> them " outing' you by publishing it to the larger

> list. If they

> don't do this it's only because they're more

> civilized than you

> are.

> Some of us are experiencing new bodies and not good

> at knowing

> what to do with new kinds of attention. Dating each

> other can

> work, or it can turn out to be a mistake. Whether

> you're male or

> female, No means NO. A relationship is not a

> democracy; it ends

> when one of the parties says it's over. Stalking,

> controlling,

> threatening, or manipulative behavior is not okay.

> And using the

> meetings as a place to pick up vulnerable post-ops

> is just

> wrong.

> Occasionally religious differences crop up. Some of

> us are not

> religious, or are not main-stream Judeo-Christian,

> and feel

> persecuted if we're told to pray or praise god or

> whatever. Some

> of us feel persecuted if we are asked to NOT say

> those things. I

> don't have an answer, I just know that both sides

> can feel both

> hurt and right.

> I'm saying this because recently I had a

> conversation with

> someone about why she wasn't around anymore. Over

> the past year

> I've seen more than one friend suffer at the hands

> of other

> support group members, both online and in real-time

> meetings.

> Some very wise people have quietly dropped away.

> This hurts me,

> and it hurts all of us.

> Martha

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Pam,

Thanks. You've never offended me, and I am not afraid to confront

situations. I was referring to some other folks and trying to put out

a general warning.

For example, there are a couple of people at meetings who push the

limits of NO. Those of you who are newly attractive, innocently happy

to get attention, and who are too " nice " to put a kick in the b---

behind NO, are their favorite targets.

Martha

>

> >

> > I don't exactly know what to say, I just want to put

> > this out

> > there:

> > Please remember what we came here for: WLS support.

> > Whether or

> > not we agree or vehemently disagree about how we do

> > or don't do

> > our WLS Path, everyone deserves to be treated with

> > respect. I've

> > seen a couple types of situations that put our

> > support

> > connections at risk.

> > Sometimes people lose perspective and say mean or

> > hurtful

> > things. They don't always apologize when they

> > probably should.

> > But retaliating with personal comments or emails

> > about other

> > peoples' families, lives, or personal stuff isn't

> > okay. Never

> > post something on a list that you don't want

> > everyone on all the

> > other lists to read. And remember: If you send an

> > ugly and

> > offensive email to someone privately, there is no

> > law against

> > them " outing' you by publishing it to the larger

> > list. If they

> > don't do this it's only because they're more

> > civilized than you

> > are.

> > Some of us are experiencing new bodies and not good

> > at knowing

> > what to do with new kinds of attention. Dating each

> > other can

> > work, or it can turn out to be a mistake. Whether

> > you're male or

> > female, No means NO. A relationship is not a

> > democracy; it ends

> > when one of the parties says it's over. Stalking,

> > controlling,

> > threatening, or manipulative behavior is not okay.

> > And using the

> > meetings as a place to pick up vulnerable post-ops

> > is just

> > wrong.

> > Occasionally religious differences crop up. Some of

> > us are not

> > religious, or are not main-stream Judeo-Christian,

> > and feel

> > persecuted if we're told to pray or praise god or

> > whatever. Some

> > of us feel persecuted if we are asked to NOT say

> > those things. I

> > don't have an answer, I just know that both sides

> > can feel both

> > hurt and right.

> > I'm saying this because recently I had a

> > conversation with

> > someone about why she wasn't around anymore. Over

> > the past year

> > I've seen more than one friend suffer at the hands

> > of other

> > support group members, both online and in real-time

> > meetings.

> > Some very wise people have quietly dropped away.

> > This hurts me,

> > and it hurts all of us.

> > Martha

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I, too, am truly sorry if I have said anything that

could have possibly offended anyone, (although I don't

think that I have). I know that my talking about my

son's " condition " may have been off the subject of

this group, but not really when you consider that I

KNOW that alot of my binge-eating has been associated

with my son's illnesses. I really needed the support

of the many of you who responded to my postings.

And Pam, Although I am not really a prayer kind of

gal, I completely do not mind that you suggest prayer.

In fact, it is sometimes rather comforting to hear you

suggest it.

Pam

--- Pamela A Marsh sweetnlow20012001@...>

wrote:

> Hi Martha. I think you have touched on some very

> serious issues here and this is the place to do so.

> I

> hope that if it was me that said something to hurt

> or

> offend you or anyone on the board that you all would

> forgive me. That is completely the last thing I

> would

> want to do to anyone.

>

> I think the only thing that I really want to comment

> on here is your note about christianity (i.e.,

> praying, etc.). I do put this in my emails

> especially

> when someone is worried, stressed, upset, etc.

> because

> I know that I find peace in the midst of a storm

> when

> I pray. When I say pray, I am saying to whomever

> you

> believe it is your higher power (no matter what you

> religious preference is).

>

> I hope whatever sprung this up will be resolved real

> soon. Best of luck to you Martha and for what it is

> worth, I am sorry if you were the person that got

> hurt. Take care.

>

> Pam Marsh

>

> --- " M. Silverspring " nurseferatu@...> wrote:

>

> >

> > I don't exactly know what to say, I just want to

> put

> > this out

> > there:

> > Please remember what we came here for: WLS

> support.

> > Whether or

> > not we agree or vehemently disagree about how we

> do

> > or don't do

> > our WLS Path, everyone deserves to be treated with

> > respect. I've

> > seen a couple types of situations that put our

> > support

> > connections at risk.

> > Sometimes people lose perspective and say mean or

> > hurtful

> > things. They don't always apologize when they

> > probably should.

> > But retaliating with personal comments or emails

> > about other

> > peoples' families, lives, or personal stuff isn't

> > okay. Never

> > post something on a list that you don't want

> > everyone on all the

> > other lists to read. And remember: If you send an

> > ugly and

> > offensive email to someone privately, there is no

> > law against

> > them " outing' you by publishing it to the larger

> > list. If they

> > don't do this it's only because they're more

> > civilized than you

> > are.

> > Some of us are experiencing new bodies and not

> good

> > at knowing

> > what to do with new kinds of attention. Dating

> each

> > other can

> > work, or it can turn out to be a mistake. Whether

> > you're male or

> > female, No means NO. A relationship is not a

> > democracy; it ends

> > when one of the parties says it's over. Stalking,

> > controlling,

> > threatening, or manipulative behavior is not okay.

> > And using the

> > meetings as a place to pick up vulnerable post-ops

> > is just

> > wrong.

> > Occasionally religious differences crop up. Some

> of

> > us are not

> > religious, or are not main-stream Judeo-Christian,

> > and feel

> > persecuted if we're told to pray or praise god or

> > whatever. Some

> > of us feel persecuted if we are asked to NOT say

> > those things. I

> > don't have an answer, I just know that both sides

> > can feel both

> > hurt and right.

> > I'm saying this because recently I had a

> > conversation with

> > someone about why she wasn't around anymore. Over

> > the past year

> > I've seen more than one friend suffer at the hands

> > of other

> > support group members, both online and in

> real-time

> > meetings.

> > Some very wise people have quietly dropped away.

> > This hurts me,

> > and it hurts all of us.

> > Martha

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Flo...it's totally fine for you to talk about things that are "off" subject. Really. Every part of our lives touch us on an emotional level...and that's what sometimes drives us to eat excessively. I'm sure you are not what she was talking about.

Some people are put off by too much evangelizing..but I haven't found that to be in evidence on this board recently...perhaps they are talking about things that happened in the past.

The bottom line is that if you weren't someone who wrote a big nasty gram to anybody...don't worry about it. The message wasn't for you.

We are all vulnerable at this place in our lives...and some people take advantage of that vulnerability. Some people don't even realize that they are being predatory. They aren't sensitive to the fact that many of us are very vulnerable. Even if we are power brokers in other areas of our lives, this whole taking the fat suit off is a very scary thing for most of us.

I'm not sure what/who Martha is talking about in particular, but the message is a good one. Be honest, always. But not cruel to others. Remember we are all fragile beings, just making our way in this world. And with those things in mind, we'll all do just fine.

Robynnflo boss wrote:

I, too, am truly sorry if I have said anything thatcould have possibly offended anyone, (although I don'tthink that I have). I know that my talking about myson's "condition" may have been off the subject ofthis group, but not really when you consider that IKNOW that alot of my binge-eating has been associatedwith my son's illnesses. I really needed the supportof the many of you who responded to my postings.And Pam, Although I am not really a prayer kind ofgal, I completely do not mind that you suggest prayer.In fact, it is sometimes rather comforting to hear yousuggest it.Pam --- Pamela A Marsh wrote:> Hi Martha. I think you have touched on some very> serious issues here and this is the place to do so. > I> hope that if it was me

that said something to hurt> or> offend you or anyone on the board that you all would> forgive me. That is completely the last thing I> would> want to do to anyone. > > I think the only thing that I really want to comment> on here is your note about christianity (i.e.,> praying, etc.). I do put this in my emails> especially> when someone is worried, stressed, upset, etc.> because> I know that I find peace in the midst of a storm> when> I pray. When I say pray, I am saying to whomever> you> believe it is your higher power (no matter what you> religious preference is).> > I hope whatever sprung this up will be resolved real> soon. Best of luck to you Martha and for what it is> worth, I am sorry if you were the person that got> hurt. Take care.> > Pam Marsh> > ---

"M. Silverspring" wrote:> > > > > I don't exactly know what to say, I just want to> put> > this out> > there:> > Please remember what we came here for: WLS> support.> > Whether or> > not we agree or vehemently disagree about how we> do> > or don't do> > our WLS Path, everyone deserves to be treated with> > respect. I've> > seen a couple types of situations that put our> > support> > connections at risk.> > Sometimes people lose perspective and say mean or> > hurtful> > things. They don't always apologize when they> > probably should.> > But retaliating with personal comments or emails> > about other> > peoples' families, lives, or personal stuff isn't> > okay. Never> > post something on a list that you don't

want> > everyone on all the> > other lists to read. And remember: If you send an> > ugly and> > offensive email to someone privately, there is no> > law against> > them "outing' you by publishing it to the larger> > list. If they> > don't do this it's only because they're more> > civilized than you> > are.> > Some of us are experiencing new bodies and not> good> > at knowing> > what to do with new kinds of attention. Dating> each> > other can> > work, or it can turn out to be a mistake. Whether> > you're male or> > female, No means NO. A relationship is not a> > democracy; it ends> > when one of the parties says it's over. Stalking,> > controlling,> > threatening, or manipulative behavior is not okay.> > And using the> > meetings as a place to

pick up vulnerable post-ops> > is just> > wrong.> > Occasionally religious differences crop up. Some> of> > us are not> > religious, or are not main-stream Judeo-Christian,> > and feel> > persecuted if we're told to pray or praise god or> > whatever. Some> > of us feel persecuted if we are asked to NOT say> > those things. I> > don't have an answer, I just know that both sides> > can feel both> > hurt and right.> > I'm saying this because recently I had a> > conversation with> > someone about why she wasn't around anymore. Over> > the past year> > I've seen more than one friend suffer at the hands> > of other> > support group members, both online and in> real-time> > meetings.> > Some very wise people have quietly dropped away.> > This hurts

me,> > and it hurts all of us.> > Martha> > > > > __________________________________________________>

[Guest guest]

Pam, you are soo sweet and thank you. I understand

about the son thing as can definitely relate honey. I

hope all is going well for you. Hang in there and as

always I am here if you need something.

Pam Marsh

--- flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote:

> I, too, am truly sorry if I have said anything that

> could have possibly offended anyone, (although I

> don't

> think that I have). I know that my talking about my

> son's " condition " may have been off the subject of

> this group, but not really when you consider that I

> KNOW that alot of my binge-eating has been

> associated

> with my son's illnesses. I really needed the support

> of the many of you who responded to my postings.

>

> And Pam, Although I am not really a prayer kind of

> gal, I completely do not mind that you suggest

> prayer.

> In fact, it is sometimes rather comforting to hear

> you

> suggest it.

>

> Pam

>

> --- Pamela A Marsh sweetnlow20012001@...>

> wrote:

>

> > Hi Martha. I think you have touched on some very

> > serious issues here and this is the place to do

> so.

> > I

> > hope that if it was me that said something to hurt

> > or

> > offend you or anyone on the board that you all

> would

> > forgive me. That is completely the last thing I

> > would

> > want to do to anyone.

> >

> > I think the only thing that I really want to

> comment

> > on here is your note about christianity (i.e.,

> > praying, etc.). I do put this in my emails

> > especially

> > when someone is worried, stressed, upset, etc.

> > because

> > I know that I find peace in the midst of a storm

> > when

> > I pray. When I say pray, I am saying to whomever

> > you

> > believe it is your higher power (no matter what

> you

> > religious preference is).

> >

> > I hope whatever sprung this up will be resolved

> real

> > soon. Best of luck to you Martha and for what it

> is

> > worth, I am sorry if you were the person that got

> > hurt. Take care.

> >

> > Pam Marsh

> >

> > --- " M. Silverspring " nurseferatu@...>

> wrote:

> >

> > >

> > > I don't exactly know what to say, I just want to

> > put

> > > this out

> > > there:

> > > Please remember what we came here for: WLS

> > support.

> > > Whether or

> > > not we agree or vehemently disagree about how we

> > do

> > > or don't do

> > > our WLS Path, everyone deserves to be treated

> with

> > > respect. I've

> > > seen a couple types of situations that put our

> > > support

> > > connections at risk.

> > > Sometimes people lose perspective and say mean

> or

> > > hurtful

> > > things. They don't always apologize when they

> > > probably should.

> > > But retaliating with personal comments or emails

> > > about other

> > > peoples' families, lives, or personal stuff

> isn't

> > > okay. Never

> > > post something on a list that you don't want

> > > everyone on all the

> > > other lists to read. And remember: If you send

> an

> > > ugly and

> > > offensive email to someone privately, there is

> no

> > > law against

> > > them " outing' you by publishing it to the larger

> > > list. If they

> > > don't do this it's only because they're more

> > > civilized than you

> > > are.

> > > Some of us are experiencing new bodies and not

> > good

> > > at knowing

> > > what to do with new kinds of attention. Dating

> > each

> > > other can

> > > work, or it can turn out to be a mistake.

> Whether

> > > you're male or

> > > female, No means NO. A relationship is not a

> > > democracy; it ends

> > > when one of the parties says it's over.

> Stalking,

> > > controlling,

> > > threatening, or manipulative behavior is not

> okay.

> > > And using the

> > > meetings as a place to pick up vulnerable

> post-ops

> > > is just

> > > wrong.

> > > Occasionally religious differences crop up. Some

> > of

> > > us are not

> > > religious, or are not main-stream

> Judeo-Christian,

> > > and feel

> > > persecuted if we're told to pray or praise god

> or

> > > whatever. Some

> > > of us feel persecuted if we are asked to NOT say

> > > those things. I

> > > don't have an answer, I just know that both

> sides

> > > can feel both

> > > hurt and right.

> > > I'm saying this because recently I had a

> > > conversation with

> > > someone about why she wasn't around anymore.

> Over

> > > the past year

> > > I've seen more than one friend suffer at the

> hands

> > > of other

> > > support group members, both online and in

> > real-time

> > > meetings.

> > > Some very wise people have quietly dropped away.

> > > This hurts me,

> > > and it hurts all of us.

> > > Martha

> > >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Robynn. And no, I have never written a big

nasty gram to anyone, (not even my ex:))

Pam b

--- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

> Flo...it's totally fine for you to talk about things

> that are " off " subject. Really. Every part of our

> lives touch us on an emotional level...and that's

> what sometimes drives us to eat excessively. I'm

> sure you are not what she was talking about.

>

> Some people are put off by too much

> evangelizing..but I haven't found that to be in

> evidence on this board recently...perhaps they are

> talking about things that happened in the past.

>

> The bottom line is that if you weren't someone who

> wrote a big nasty gram to anybody...don't worry

> about it. The message wasn't for you.

>

> We are all vulnerable at this place in our

> lives...and some people take advantage of that

> vulnerability. Some people don't even realize that

> they are being predatory. They aren't sensitive to

> the fact that many of us are very vulnerable. Even

> if we are power brokers in other areas of our lives,

> this whole taking the fat suit off is a very scary

> thing for most of us.

>

> I'm not sure what/who Martha is talking about in

> particular, but the message is a good one. Be

> honest, always. But not cruel to others. Remember

> we are all fragile beings, just making our way in

> this world. And with those things in mind, we'll

> all do just fine.

>

> Robynn

>

> flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote:

> I, too, am truly sorry if I have said anything that

> could have possibly offended anyone, (although I

> don't

> think that I have). I know that my talking about my

> son's " condition " may have been off the subject of

> this group, but not really when you consider that I

> KNOW that alot of my binge-eating has been

> associated

> with my son's illnesses. I really needed the support

> of the many of you who responded to my postings.

>

> And Pam, Although I am not really a prayer kind of

> gal, I completely do not mind that you suggest

> prayer.

> In fact, it is sometimes rather comforting to hear

> you

> suggest it.

>

> Pam

>

> --- Pamela A Marsh sweetnlow20012001@...>

> wrote:

>

> > Hi Martha. I think you have touched on some very

> > serious issues here and this is the place to do

> so.

> > I

> > hope that if it was me that said something to hurt

> > or

> > offend you or anyone on the board that you all

> would

> > forgive me. That is completely the last thing I

> > would

> > want to do to anyone.

> >

> > I think the only thing that I really want to

> comment

> > on here is your note about christianity (i.e.,

> > praying, etc.). I do put this in my emails

> > especially

> > when someone is worried, stressed, upset, etc.

> > because

> > I know that I find peace in the midst of a storm

> > when

> > I pray. When I say pray, I am saying to whomever

> > you

> > believe it is your higher power (no matter what

> you

> > religious preference is).

> >

> > I hope whatever sprung this up will be resolved

> real

> > soon. Best of luck to you Martha and for what it

> is

> > worth, I am sorry if you were the person that got

> > hurt. Take care.

> >

> > Pam Marsh

> >

> > --- " M. Silverspring " nurseferatu@...>

> wrote:

> >

> > >

> > > I don't exactly know what to say, I just want to

> > put

> > > this out

> > > there:

> > > Please remember what we came here for: WLS

> > support.

> > > Whether or

> > > not we agree or vehemently disagree about how we

> > do

> > > or don't do

> > > our WLS Path, everyone deserves to be treated

> with

> > > respect. I've

> > > seen a couple types of situations that put our

> > > support

> > > connections at risk.

> > > Sometimes people lose perspective and say mean

> or

> > > hurtful

> > > things. They don't always apologize when they

> > > probably should.

> > > But retaliating with personal comments or emails

> > > about other

> > > peoples' families, lives, or personal stuff

> isn't

> > > okay. Never

> > > post something on a list that you don't want

> > > everyone on all the

> > > other lists to read. And remember: If you send

> an

> > > ugly and

> > > offensive email to someone privately, there is

> no

> > > law against

> > > them " outing' you by publishing it to the larger

> > > list. If they

> > > don't do this it's only because they're more

> > > civilized than you

> > > are.

> > > Some of us are experiencing new bodies and not

> > good

> > > at knowing

> > > what to do with new kinds of attention. Dating

> > each

> > > other can

> > > work, or it can turn out to be a mistake.

> Whether

> > > you're male or

> > > female, No means NO. A relationship is not a

> > > democracy; it ends

> > > when one of the parties says it's over.

> Stalking,

> > > controlling,

> > > threatening, or manipulative behavior is not

> okay.

> > > And using the

> > > meetings as a place to pick up vulnerable

> post-ops

> > > is just

> > > wrong.

> > > Occasionally religious differences crop up. Some

> > of

> > > us are not

> > > religious, or are not main-stream

> Judeo-Christian,

> > > and feel

> > > persecuted if we're told to pray or praise god

> or

> > > whatever. Some

> > > of us feel persecuted if we are asked to NOT say

> > > those things. I

> > > don't have an answer, I just know that both

> sides

> > > can feel both

> > > hurt and right.

> > > I'm saying this because recently I had a

> > > conversation with

> > > someone about why she wasn't around anymore.

> Over

> > > the past year

> > > I've seen more than one friend suffer at the

> hands

> > > of other

> > > support group members, both online and in

> > real-time

> > > meetings.

> > > Some very wise people have quietly dropped away.

> > > This hurts me,

> > > and it hurts all of us.

> > > Martha

> > >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >