Re: wonderings

[Guest guest]

Hi Dean,

I'll give you my answers in line.

Dean wrote:

> As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what people do when the are

> bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn to food, ...and they

> can't...other than a tiny amount????

I find that I spend a lot more time outdoors. I don't just sit on my

hiney, I go for a walk! Shopping! Tour the Winchester Mystery House (I'm

in San and bought an annual membership! Hope in the car with the

almost five year old little boy in search of adventure.

If getting out of the house isn't practical, is there some handycraft

you've been interested in? Rosie Grier took up needlepoint. I have some

patterns to knit lace (needles about like hatpins). Want to write the

Great American Novel?

I have also found that reading and responding to posts on the Yahoo

groups can keep me as busy as I let it, since I belong to more than a dozen!

> I also wonder if there are many people who lose the amount of weight

> they are told to before the surgery and decide they can continue doing

> that, instead of having the surgery???

It happens.The problem is that statistically, with whatever diet one

uses to lose the weight, the odds are something like 95% the they will

regain almost all the weight, and sometimes more. This weight roller

coaster is VERY hard on the body. It's also why I don't have a

gallbladder any more.

If someone thinks they can lose it on their own, without the surgery,

they may not be ready for surgery, and that's okay in general. It does

take a commitment to get ready for the surgery, go through the pre-op

and post-op weight loss, and maintain their weight after surgery. In

particular, because gastric bypass can create a lot of problems with

nutritional deficiencies if you aren't scrupulous about supplementing.

Otherwise the deficiencies can lead to permanent problems.

Okay, here's my take on things, at just over two years out. In my case,

I wasn't worried about the health effects and risks of having the

surgery. I was worried about the health effects and risks of NOT having

the surgery. I was fortunate that I didn't have a bunch of

comorbidities, but I knew that with my family history, it was just a

matter of time. That's the health aspect of the surgery.

What I was not as prepared for, but am even more grateful for, is the

whole quality of life aspect. I'm 47 years old, and have more energy

than I EVER remember having. For the first time in my life, I feel like

I'm an active participant in my own life, instead of a passive observer.

I don't avoid doing things because of fear I won't fit into a seat, or

that I won't be able to keep up, or whatever. Seven years ago when I got

married, we went to Yosemite on our honeymoon. I couldn't do much

walking, because my knees hurt and I didn't have the energy. In May of

last year, we went back to Yosemite with our son. I ended up getting a

bit annoyed on occasion because my husband and son weren't up to going

on long walks, and I wanted to. I did end up going for walks in the

early morning or late evening, while hubby and kidling were settled down

in the hotel room. I didn't even think about it!

Well, this has been something of a ramble! I do have to say that,

although my post-op course has not always gone the way I wanted, I have

NEVER regretted having the surgery. I would even go so far as to say

that it is the secon best decision I ever made, for ME. The best

decision was marrying my husband. I hope this helps you some. I strongly

encourage you to learn everything you can before having the surgery. I

admit to being APPALLED at the number of people who research buying a

new car far more than they do their surgery!

Feel free to ask questions! If you want to ask me anything privately,

feel free to do so!

--

Eleanor Oster

eleanor@... (personal address)

www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

San , CA

Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

~5'9 " tall

05/09/2003 319 Orientation

07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

Current 150-155 Goal until plastics?

[Guest guest]

Hi Dean,

I'll give you my answers in line.

Dean wrote:

> As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what people do when the are

> bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn to food, ...and they

> can't...other than a tiny amount????

I find that I spend a lot more time outdoors. I don't just sit on my

hiney, I go for a walk! Shopping! Tour the Winchester Mystery House (I'm

in San and bought an annual membership! Hope in the car with the

almost five year old little boy in search of adventure.

If getting out of the house isn't practical, is there some handycraft

you've been interested in? Rosie Grier took up needlepoint. I have some

patterns to knit lace (needles about like hatpins). Want to write the

Great American Novel?

I have also found that reading and responding to posts on the Yahoo

groups can keep me as busy as I let it, since I belong to more than a dozen!

> I also wonder if there are many people who lose the amount of weight

> they are told to before the surgery and decide they can continue doing

> that, instead of having the surgery???

It happens.The problem is that statistically, with whatever diet one

uses to lose the weight, the odds are something like 95% the they will

regain almost all the weight, and sometimes more. This weight roller

coaster is VERY hard on the body. It's also why I don't have a

gallbladder any more.

If someone thinks they can lose it on their own, without the surgery,

they may not be ready for surgery, and that's okay in general. It does

take a commitment to get ready for the surgery, go through the pre-op

and post-op weight loss, and maintain their weight after surgery. In

particular, because gastric bypass can create a lot of problems with

nutritional deficiencies if you aren't scrupulous about supplementing.

Otherwise the deficiencies can lead to permanent problems.

Okay, here's my take on things, at just over two years out. In my case,

I wasn't worried about the health effects and risks of having the

surgery. I was worried about the health effects and risks of NOT having

the surgery. I was fortunate that I didn't have a bunch of

comorbidities, but I knew that with my family history, it was just a

matter of time. That's the health aspect of the surgery.

What I was not as prepared for, but am even more grateful for, is the

whole quality of life aspect. I'm 47 years old, and have more energy

than I EVER remember having. For the first time in my life, I feel like

I'm an active participant in my own life, instead of a passive observer.

I don't avoid doing things because of fear I won't fit into a seat, or

that I won't be able to keep up, or whatever. Seven years ago when I got

married, we went to Yosemite on our honeymoon. I couldn't do much

walking, because my knees hurt and I didn't have the energy. In May of

last year, we went back to Yosemite with our son. I ended up getting a

bit annoyed on occasion because my husband and son weren't up to going

on long walks, and I wanted to. I did end up going for walks in the

early morning or late evening, while hubby and kidling were settled down

in the hotel room. I didn't even think about it!

Well, this has been something of a ramble! I do have to say that,

although my post-op course has not always gone the way I wanted, I have

NEVER regretted having the surgery. I would even go so far as to say

that it is the secon best decision I ever made, for ME. The best

decision was marrying my husband. I hope this helps you some. I strongly

encourage you to learn everything you can before having the surgery. I

admit to being APPALLED at the number of people who research buying a

new car far more than they do their surgery!

Feel free to ask questions! If you want to ask me anything privately,

feel free to do so!

--

Eleanor Oster

eleanor@... (personal address)

www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

San , CA

Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

~5'9 " tall

05/09/2003 319 Orientation

07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

Current 150-155 Goal until plastics?

[Guest guest]

Hi Dean,

I'll give you my answers in line.

Dean wrote:

> As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what people do when the are

> bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn to food, ...and they

> can't...other than a tiny amount????

I find that I spend a lot more time outdoors. I don't just sit on my

hiney, I go for a walk! Shopping! Tour the Winchester Mystery House (I'm

in San and bought an annual membership! Hope in the car with the

almost five year old little boy in search of adventure.

If getting out of the house isn't practical, is there some handycraft

you've been interested in? Rosie Grier took up needlepoint. I have some

patterns to knit lace (needles about like hatpins). Want to write the

Great American Novel?

I have also found that reading and responding to posts on the Yahoo

groups can keep me as busy as I let it, since I belong to more than a dozen!

> I also wonder if there are many people who lose the amount of weight

> they are told to before the surgery and decide they can continue doing

> that, instead of having the surgery???

It happens.The problem is that statistically, with whatever diet one

uses to lose the weight, the odds are something like 95% the they will

regain almost all the weight, and sometimes more. This weight roller

coaster is VERY hard on the body. It's also why I don't have a

gallbladder any more.

If someone thinks they can lose it on their own, without the surgery,

they may not be ready for surgery, and that's okay in general. It does

take a commitment to get ready for the surgery, go through the pre-op

and post-op weight loss, and maintain their weight after surgery. In

particular, because gastric bypass can create a lot of problems with

nutritional deficiencies if you aren't scrupulous about supplementing.

Otherwise the deficiencies can lead to permanent problems.

Okay, here's my take on things, at just over two years out. In my case,

I wasn't worried about the health effects and risks of having the

surgery. I was worried about the health effects and risks of NOT having

the surgery. I was fortunate that I didn't have a bunch of

comorbidities, but I knew that with my family history, it was just a

matter of time. That's the health aspect of the surgery.

What I was not as prepared for, but am even more grateful for, is the

whole quality of life aspect. I'm 47 years old, and have more energy

than I EVER remember having. For the first time in my life, I feel like

I'm an active participant in my own life, instead of a passive observer.

I don't avoid doing things because of fear I won't fit into a seat, or

that I won't be able to keep up, or whatever. Seven years ago when I got

married, we went to Yosemite on our honeymoon. I couldn't do much

walking, because my knees hurt and I didn't have the energy. In May of

last year, we went back to Yosemite with our son. I ended up getting a

bit annoyed on occasion because my husband and son weren't up to going

on long walks, and I wanted to. I did end up going for walks in the

early morning or late evening, while hubby and kidling were settled down

in the hotel room. I didn't even think about it!

Well, this has been something of a ramble! I do have to say that,

although my post-op course has not always gone the way I wanted, I have

NEVER regretted having the surgery. I would even go so far as to say

that it is the secon best decision I ever made, for ME. The best

decision was marrying my husband. I hope this helps you some. I strongly

encourage you to learn everything you can before having the surgery. I

admit to being APPALLED at the number of people who research buying a

new car far more than they do their surgery!

Feel free to ask questions! If you want to ask me anything privately,

feel free to do so!

--

Eleanor Oster

eleanor@... (personal address)

www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

San , CA

Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

~5'9 " tall

05/09/2003 319 Orientation

07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

Current 150-155 Goal until plastics?

[Guest guest]

Hi Dean....

Can't answer the question of what to do about emotional eating after

GBS because I have not had it. But I can answer the question about

trying to lose the weight on your own because that's where I'm at. I

started the process last August and began the 1200-calorie a day

eating plan that Kaiser Richmond provides. I needed to lose 32

pounds to qualify and the day I went for my surgery consult in

October I was already down about 45#. I discussed this with Dr.

Baggs, my surgeon because I felt somewhat uncomfortable that perhaps

I had not exhausted all of my options prior to having the surgery.

Doctor Baggs said that anytime a person can avoid having any kind of

surgery they would be better off and that there was no harm in

waiting especially since the more weight that was gone prior to

surgery if I elected to have it the better off I would be anyway.

One thing nice about Kaiser in Richmond is once you have qualified

for the surgery, they never toss you off the program as long as you

are making some kind of effort.

Anyway.....I continued to lose weight and managed to lose almost 80

pounds. I'd like to be able to tell you that everything is hunky-

dory but in reality for the last three months I have been really

struggling and have gained back about 20 pounds. Of course I'm still

very happy with the 60 pounds gone but the old diet cycle seems to

have a grip on me now. I am working on getting back into focus but

at the same time I am starting to reconsider my decision about the

surgery. One other good thing is the support I receive here and at

support group meetings that I attend. It's good to have people who

care enough about you to call you on your own BS when you can't see

it for yourself and for that I am very grateful.

I'm told by the staff at the clinic that there are several people

doing what I'm doing so I don't think it's that uncommon. One thing

for sure is this surgery is such a life changing thing that you must

be 100% ready physically and mentally to have it done so if you need

to do it a little differently than everyone else and that is your

decision then I say do what ya gotta do. Hope this helps.

[Guest guest]

> As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what people do when the

are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn to food, ...and they

can't...other than a tiny amount????

>

> I also wonder if there are many people who lose the amount of

weight they are told to before the surgery and decide they can

continue doing that, instead of having the surgery???

> dean

Dean: My daughter had GB a couple of years ago and lost 240Pds. One

of the hardest thing for her to learn was how not to count of food to

help you with the depression, bordom and etc. She had to deal with

the problem, find a solutation and go on with her life - at times she

would cry and other times she would talk about how she was feeling

rather then eat and surpress those feelings. Gee sounds almost like -

that is what we a suppose to do - what an idea. Has far as

thinking you can do this yourself without surgery, that is my

thinking, when I need an excuss not to have GB> I lost 45 pds on my

own, 25 of it thru Weight Watcher, and the first 2month of being a WW

member I was really in to it> but the honeymoon was soon over and now

I am having trouble sticking to a program. This helps me remember,

over the many years of my life, I have lost only to gain it back.

For some, surgery is the only answer, but there are people out there

who actually lose the weight and keep it off on their own, only you

have the answer to what works for you and what does not.

Good Luck

Luci

[Guest guest]

> As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what people do when the

are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn to food, ...and they

can't...other than a tiny amount????

>

> I also wonder if there are many people who lose the amount of

weight they are told to before the surgery and decide they can

continue doing that, instead of having the surgery???

> dean

Dean: My daughter had GB a couple of years ago and lost 240Pds. One

of the hardest thing for her to learn was how not to count of food to

help you with the depression, bordom and etc. She had to deal with

the problem, find a solutation and go on with her life - at times she

would cry and other times she would talk about how she was feeling

rather then eat and surpress those feelings. Gee sounds almost like -

that is what we a suppose to do - what an idea. Has far as

thinking you can do this yourself without surgery, that is my

thinking, when I need an excuss not to have GB> I lost 45 pds on my

own, 25 of it thru Weight Watcher, and the first 2month of being a WW

member I was really in to it> but the honeymoon was soon over and now

I am having trouble sticking to a program. This helps me remember,

over the many years of my life, I have lost only to gain it back.

For some, surgery is the only answer, but there are people out there

who actually lose the weight and keep it off on their own, only you

have the answer to what works for you and what does not.

Good Luck

Luci

[Guest guest]

> As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what people do when the

are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn to food, ...and they

can't...other than a tiny amount????

>

> I also wonder if there are many people who lose the amount of

weight they are told to before the surgery and decide they can

continue doing that, instead of having the surgery???

> dean

Dean: My daughter had GB a couple of years ago and lost 240Pds. One

of the hardest thing for her to learn was how not to count of food to

help you with the depression, bordom and etc. She had to deal with

the problem, find a solutation and go on with her life - at times she

would cry and other times she would talk about how she was feeling

rather then eat and surpress those feelings. Gee sounds almost like -

that is what we a suppose to do - what an idea. Has far as

thinking you can do this yourself without surgery, that is my

thinking, when I need an excuss not to have GB> I lost 45 pds on my

own, 25 of it thru Weight Watcher, and the first 2month of being a WW

member I was really in to it> but the honeymoon was soon over and now

I am having trouble sticking to a program. This helps me remember,

over the many years of my life, I have lost only to gain it back.

For some, surgery is the only answer, but there are people out there

who actually lose the weight and keep it off on their own, only you

have the answer to what works for you and what does not.

Good Luck

Luci

[Guest guest]

Dean,

I think that you have touched upon one of the most critical components for your potential success with the surgery. You really need to peel the onion (to steal Dr. Fisher's expression) to look at the reasons you eat. Many of us eat rather than deal directly with some of the emotions you mention below. It's a way to choke down the feelings rather than actually acknowledge, feel and potentially confront others about those feelings.

Boredom is easy: as you lose the weight, you become more free to do the things that you want to do. There is simply more freedom in being lighter. I have always been active, regardless of my weight. But, my weight definitely did hold me back. Now I'm seriously contemplating beginning salsa lessons this month, I'm feeling less shy about pursuing non-solitary hobbies that I am interested in...and I fill my life with people and activity...instead of food and television.

But, it's the great anesthetizer, isn't it? Food and television. A powerful wallup. Now, I never turn on the television...and I find that I have time to take a walk, to write a letter, to do all kinds of things. Even FEEL.

So, you substitute reality for artifice (food)...and that works pretty well. It can be scary, but it works. The thing about eating is that it only dulls the feelings for a moment. The second you swallow...you are back again, feeling the feelings you were trying to avoid. They don't really go away. So, finding a more constructive way to handle your true feelings the first go around...well, it's much more likely to end up positively...isn't it? Write it out, talk it out, contemplate it out.

And, after some work...you can do more than temporarily dull the pain of certain emotions. You can change your way of thinking. I'm working on that. Learning to become more positive and actually focused on truth.

Anyway...I seem to have pulled a hamstring or some muscle in my thigh that is hurting mightily...so I'm going to go dull my pain with some drugs...and I'm already fading fast...time for night night.

Robynn Lucia wrote:

> As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what people do when the are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn to food, ...and they can't...other than a tiny amount????> > I also wonder if there are many people who lose the amount of weight they are told to before the surgery and decide they can continue doing that, instead of having the surgery???> deanDean: My daughter had GB a couple of years ago and lost 240Pds. One of the hardest thing for her to learn was how not to count of food to help you with the depression, bordom and etc. She had to deal with the problem, find a solutation and go on with her life - at times she would cry and other times she would talk about how she was feeling

rather then eat and surpress those feelings. Gee sounds almost like -that is what we a suppose to do - what an idea. Has far as thinking you can do this yourself without surgery, that is my thinking, when I need an excuss not to have GB> I lost 45 pds on my own, 25 of it thru Weight Watcher, and the first 2month of being a WW member I was really in to it> but the honeymoon was soon over and now I am having trouble sticking to a program. This helps me remember, over the many years of my life, I have lost only to gain it back. For some, surgery is the only answer, but there are people out there who actually lose the weight and keep it off on their own, only you have the answer to what works for you and what does not.Good LuckLuci

[Guest guest]

Dean,

I think that you have touched upon one of the most critical components for your potential success with the surgery. You really need to peel the onion (to steal Dr. Fisher's expression) to look at the reasons you eat. Many of us eat rather than deal directly with some of the emotions you mention below. It's a way to choke down the feelings rather than actually acknowledge, feel and potentially confront others about those feelings.

Boredom is easy: as you lose the weight, you become more free to do the things that you want to do. There is simply more freedom in being lighter. I have always been active, regardless of my weight. But, my weight definitely did hold me back. Now I'm seriously contemplating beginning salsa lessons this month, I'm feeling less shy about pursuing non-solitary hobbies that I am interested in...and I fill my life with people and activity...instead of food and television.

But, it's the great anesthetizer, isn't it? Food and television. A powerful wallup. Now, I never turn on the television...and I find that I have time to take a walk, to write a letter, to do all kinds of things. Even FEEL.

So, you substitute reality for artifice (food)...and that works pretty well. It can be scary, but it works. The thing about eating is that it only dulls the feelings for a moment. The second you swallow...you are back again, feeling the feelings you were trying to avoid. They don't really go away. So, finding a more constructive way to handle your true feelings the first go around...well, it's much more likely to end up positively...isn't it? Write it out, talk it out, contemplate it out.

And, after some work...you can do more than temporarily dull the pain of certain emotions. You can change your way of thinking. I'm working on that. Learning to become more positive and actually focused on truth.

Anyway...I seem to have pulled a hamstring or some muscle in my thigh that is hurting mightily...so I'm going to go dull my pain with some drugs...and I'm already fading fast...time for night night.

Robynn Lucia wrote:

> As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what people do when the are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn to food, ...and they can't...other than a tiny amount????> > I also wonder if there are many people who lose the amount of weight they are told to before the surgery and decide they can continue doing that, instead of having the surgery???> deanDean: My daughter had GB a couple of years ago and lost 240Pds. One of the hardest thing for her to learn was how not to count of food to help you with the depression, bordom and etc. She had to deal with the problem, find a solutation and go on with her life - at times she would cry and other times she would talk about how she was feeling

rather then eat and surpress those feelings. Gee sounds almost like -that is what we a suppose to do - what an idea. Has far as thinking you can do this yourself without surgery, that is my thinking, when I need an excuss not to have GB> I lost 45 pds on my own, 25 of it thru Weight Watcher, and the first 2month of being a WW member I was really in to it> but the honeymoon was soon over and now I am having trouble sticking to a program. This helps me remember, over the many years of my life, I have lost only to gain it back. For some, surgery is the only answer, but there are people out there who actually lose the weight and keep it off on their own, only you have the answer to what works for you and what does not.Good LuckLuci

[Guest guest]

Dean,

I think that you have touched upon one of the most critical components for your potential success with the surgery. You really need to peel the onion (to steal Dr. Fisher's expression) to look at the reasons you eat. Many of us eat rather than deal directly with some of the emotions you mention below. It's a way to choke down the feelings rather than actually acknowledge, feel and potentially confront others about those feelings.

Boredom is easy: as you lose the weight, you become more free to do the things that you want to do. There is simply more freedom in being lighter. I have always been active, regardless of my weight. But, my weight definitely did hold me back. Now I'm seriously contemplating beginning salsa lessons this month, I'm feeling less shy about pursuing non-solitary hobbies that I am interested in...and I fill my life with people and activity...instead of food and television.

But, it's the great anesthetizer, isn't it? Food and television. A powerful wallup. Now, I never turn on the television...and I find that I have time to take a walk, to write a letter, to do all kinds of things. Even FEEL.

So, you substitute reality for artifice (food)...and that works pretty well. It can be scary, but it works. The thing about eating is that it only dulls the feelings for a moment. The second you swallow...you are back again, feeling the feelings you were trying to avoid. They don't really go away. So, finding a more constructive way to handle your true feelings the first go around...well, it's much more likely to end up positively...isn't it? Write it out, talk it out, contemplate it out.

And, after some work...you can do more than temporarily dull the pain of certain emotions. You can change your way of thinking. I'm working on that. Learning to become more positive and actually focused on truth.

Anyway...I seem to have pulled a hamstring or some muscle in my thigh that is hurting mightily...so I'm going to go dull my pain with some drugs...and I'm already fading fast...time for night night.

Robynn Lucia wrote:

> As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what people do when the are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn to food, ...and they can't...other than a tiny amount????> > I also wonder if there are many people who lose the amount of weight they are told to before the surgery and decide they can continue doing that, instead of having the surgery???> deanDean: My daughter had GB a couple of years ago and lost 240Pds. One of the hardest thing for her to learn was how not to count of food to help you with the depression, bordom and etc. She had to deal with the problem, find a solutation and go on with her life - at times she would cry and other times she would talk about how she was feeling

rather then eat and surpress those feelings. Gee sounds almost like -that is what we a suppose to do - what an idea. Has far as thinking you can do this yourself without surgery, that is my thinking, when I need an excuss not to have GB> I lost 45 pds on my own, 25 of it thru Weight Watcher, and the first 2month of being a WW member I was really in to it> but the honeymoon was soon over and now I am having trouble sticking to a program. This helps me remember, over the many years of my life, I have lost only to gain it back. For some, surgery is the only answer, but there are people out there who actually lose the weight and keep it off on their own, only you have the answer to what works for you and what does not.Good LuckLuci

[Guest guest]

Hi, Dean!

WRT losing weight on my own, I've found in the past that unless I can

manage to get in a fairly huge amount of exercise I just can't manage

to keep it off. . . and I can't actually DO that exercise right now,

because my knees won't handle it. . .and unless I can get myself down

about 100 lbs in fairly short order, I won't be able to exercise

enough to keep weight off and it'll come right back on!

As for the issue of eating when bored/depressed/etc., I've been

working on that one now for some time, even before deciding to have

the surgery. Let's face it, if one keeps turning to food for

emotional reasons ANY weight loss program is likely to fail! I've been

watching what other people in my life ( " normal " weight folks) do when

they're having problems. For example, my teen-age daughter will often

go running or do something physical when she's under stress. I know

that when I'm depressed, one of my personal mood-lifters is cleaning

something - lets me feel like SOMETHING is under control, and I get to

feel virtuous besides! My husband gets out his flute and plays music.

Everyone's different.

Cathy

>

> > As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what people do when the

> are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn to food, ...and

they

> can't...other than a tiny amount????

> >

> > I also wonder if there are many people who lose the amount of

> weight they are told to before the surgery and decide they can

> continue doing that, instead of having the surgery???

[Guest guest]

Hi, Dean!

WRT losing weight on my own, I've found in the past that unless I can

manage to get in a fairly huge amount of exercise I just can't manage

to keep it off. . . and I can't actually DO that exercise right now,

because my knees won't handle it. . .and unless I can get myself down

about 100 lbs in fairly short order, I won't be able to exercise

enough to keep weight off and it'll come right back on!

As for the issue of eating when bored/depressed/etc., I've been

working on that one now for some time, even before deciding to have

the surgery. Let's face it, if one keeps turning to food for

emotional reasons ANY weight loss program is likely to fail! I've been

watching what other people in my life ( " normal " weight folks) do when

they're having problems. For example, my teen-age daughter will often

go running or do something physical when she's under stress. I know

that when I'm depressed, one of my personal mood-lifters is cleaning

something - lets me feel like SOMETHING is under control, and I get to

feel virtuous besides! My husband gets out his flute and plays music.

Everyone's different.

Cathy

>

> > As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what people do when the

> are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn to food, ...and

they

> can't...other than a tiny amount????

> >

> > I also wonder if there are many people who lose the amount of

> weight they are told to before the surgery and decide they can

> continue doing that, instead of having the surgery???

[Guest guest]

Hi, Dean!

WRT losing weight on my own, I've found in the past that unless I can

manage to get in a fairly huge amount of exercise I just can't manage

to keep it off. . . and I can't actually DO that exercise right now,

because my knees won't handle it. . .and unless I can get myself down

about 100 lbs in fairly short order, I won't be able to exercise

enough to keep weight off and it'll come right back on!

As for the issue of eating when bored/depressed/etc., I've been

working on that one now for some time, even before deciding to have

the surgery. Let's face it, if one keeps turning to food for

emotional reasons ANY weight loss program is likely to fail! I've been

watching what other people in my life ( " normal " weight folks) do when

they're having problems. For example, my teen-age daughter will often

go running or do something physical when she's under stress. I know

that when I'm depressed, one of my personal mood-lifters is cleaning

something - lets me feel like SOMETHING is under control, and I get to

feel virtuous besides! My husband gets out his flute and plays music.

Everyone's different.

Cathy

>

> > As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what people do when the

> are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn to food, ...and

they

> can't...other than a tiny amount????

> >

> > I also wonder if there are many people who lose the amount of

> weight they are told to before the surgery and decide they can

> continue doing that, instead of having the surgery???

[Guest guest]

Hi Pam

There is an excellent tape that you can get from Kaiser educational dept called Chair Dancing. It is fun and you can do it in front of your TV. That way you can try it without buying it.

Ramona

[Guest guest]

Hi Pam

There is an excellent tape that you can get from Kaiser educational dept called Chair Dancing. It is fun and you can do it in front of your TV. That way you can try it without buying it.

Ramona

[Guest guest]

Hi Pam

There is an excellent tape that you can get from Kaiser educational dept called Chair Dancing. It is fun and you can do it in front of your TV. That way you can try it without buying it.

Ramona

[Guest guest]

Robynn no offense to you but I think you are in the

wrong profession dear. I know that you are a great

attorney and are great at what you do....remember I

work with you.

I think you should keep the door open as a possibility

for part time counseling. I think you would be great

at it.

Pam Marsh

--- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

> Why are you stuck at home? Do you have a physical

> problem that prevents you from going outside? I

> don't remember. A small baby? People you need to

> care for?

>

> How about taking up some art? Learning to

> paint...not worrying about the product, but just

> enjoying the process of creation...like a child.

> Learn to just paint whatever you feel. If you were

> to choose a color that mirrors your current

> feelings, what color would it be? And what if you

> did paint a house with wings, would that be ok?

>

> The problem with the television is that it takes,

> but it doesn't give back. That's why it is

> boring...no interaction. Even if you have no real

> talent, you can paint. It's fun. You can lose

> yourself for hours.

>

> Physical activity, if at all possible, should be

> done. You need fresh air. You need the opportunity

> to just be, you know? Worst case scenario, you can

> get those tapes that show you how to do exercises

> while sitting down. I think they are called " Sit

> and Fit " or something like that, and you can even

> borrow them from Kaiser's Health Education center.

> watch those instead of tv...and even if you don't do

> it all, you'll be inspired.

>

> Start writing. Write out your feelings, your

> journey, your thoughts about what weight means to

> you, what it will mean to you to lose the weight.

> Think of every little niggling detail, and write it

> out. Your mind will be engaged...and it will

> relieve boredom.

>

> If you are truly stuck at home, can you sign up for

> online classroom work with a local college? Take a

> literature course where you need to read, or learn a

> new language (French being my favorite, of course),

> start thinking about life after obesity. Start

> living life today as a fulfilled person...so that

> when you transition to your new slim self...you

> aren't completely overwhelmed with your upcoming

> options.

>

> There are things you can do, it just requires a

> little motivation and courage. Live life. It's the

> only one you have. If you start taking classes

> today, for example (and you can take a lot of them

> online), in a few years, you will have a degree.

> Maybe, in a couple of years, when you are getting

> thinner...you can start actually going to class on

> campus...and then, as you start to get out of the

> cocoon of extra weight, you will take off as a

> butterfly, WITH A DEGREE. You can have more

> confidence because of the school, more confidence

> because of your weight...and then maybe you can

> start a whole new career, that puts money in your

> pocket (which youll need for your new clothes), and

> a spring in your step.

>

> Don't be limited by reality and pragmatics...live

> your dreams. YOU are really the only one stopping

> yourself from doing that. Think about it. You can

> make a choice to pursue what you really want to be,

> Your weight won't stop you anymore...and you can

> become your own best friend, instead of your biggest

> obstacle.

>

> Life, my friend, is huge and sweet and juicy. Eat

> it up.

>

> Robynn

>

> flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote:

> Robynn, I loved this post soooo much that I am

> printing it out on paper so I can reveiw as needed.

> But I do have a problem, however; what do you do

> when

> you are stuck at home 24 hours a day, 5 days week?

> There is no going for walks, or to the park, or out

> with friends; it's just you and the TV... (or I

> COULD

> work on my Creative Memories albums!!) But after

> I've caught up, then what? I KNOW that I eat out of

> boredom, and also, as I have recently discovered,

> out

> of resentment as well. Anyway, any advice on what to

> do when stuck at home CONSTANTLY?

>

> Pam

>

> --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

>

> > Dean,

> >

> > I think that you have touched upon one of the most

> > critical components for your potential success

> with

> > the surgery. You really need to peel the onion

> (to

> > steal Dr. Fisher's expression) to look at the

> > reasons you eat. Many of us eat rather than deal

> > directly with some of the emotions you mention

> > below. It's a way to choke down the feelings

> rather

> > than actually acknowledge, feel and potentially

> > confront others about those feelings.

> >

> > Boredom is easy: as you lose the weight, you

> become

> > more free to do the things that you want to do.

> > There is simply more freedom in being lighter. I

> > have always been active, regardless of my weight.

> > But, my weight definitely did hold me back. Now

> I'm

> > seriously contemplating beginning salsa lessons

> this

> > month, I'm feeling less shy about pursuing

> > non-solitary hobbies that I am interested in...and

> I

> > fill my life with people and activity...instead of

> > food and television.

> >

> > But, it's the great anesthetizer, isn't it? Food

> > and television. A powerful wallup. Now, I never

> > turn on the television...and I find that I have

> time

> > to take a walk, to write a letter, to do all kinds

> > of things. Even FEEL.

> >

> > So, you substitute reality for artifice

> (food)...and

> > that works pretty well. It can be scary, but it

> > works. The thing about eating is that it only

> dulls

> > the feelings for a moment. The second you

> > swallow...you are back again, feeling the feelings

> > you were trying to avoid. They don't really go

> > away. So, finding a more constructive way to

> handle

> > your true feelings the first go around...well,

> it's

> > much more likely to end up positively...isn't it?

> > Write it out, talk it out, contemplate it out.

>

> >

> > And, after some work...you can do more than

> > temporarily dull the pain of certain emotions.

> You

> > can change your way of thinking. I'm working on

> > that. Learning to become more positive and

> actually

> > focused on truth.

> >

> > Anyway...I seem to have pulled a hamstring or some

> > muscle in my thigh that is hurting mightily...so

> I'm

> > going to go dull my pain with some drugs...and I'm

> > already fading fast...time for night night.

> >

> > Robynn

> >

> > Lucia jlsirugo@...> wrote:

> >

> > > As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what

> > people do when the

> > are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn

> to

> > food, ...and they

> > can't...other than a tiny amount????

> > >

> > > I also wonder if there are many people who lose

> > the amount of

> > weight they are told to before the surgery and

> > decide they can

> > continue doing that, instead of having the

> > surgery???

> > > dean

> >

> > Dean: My daughter had GB a couple of years ago

> and

> > lost 240Pds. One

> > of the hardest thing for her to learn was how not

> to

> > count of food to

> > help you with the depression, bordom and etc. She

> > had to deal with

> > the problem, find a solutation and go on with her

> > life - at times she

> > would cry and other times she would talk about how

> > she was feeling

> > rather then eat and surpress those feelings. Gee

> > sounds almost like -

> > that is what we a suppose to do - what an idea.

> > Has far as

>

=== message truncated ===

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Robynn no offense to you but I think you are in the

wrong profession dear. I know that you are a great

attorney and are great at what you do....remember I

work with you.

I think you should keep the door open as a possibility

for part time counseling. I think you would be great

at it.

Pam Marsh

--- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

> Why are you stuck at home? Do you have a physical

> problem that prevents you from going outside? I

> don't remember. A small baby? People you need to

> care for?

>

> How about taking up some art? Learning to

> paint...not worrying about the product, but just

> enjoying the process of creation...like a child.

> Learn to just paint whatever you feel. If you were

> to choose a color that mirrors your current

> feelings, what color would it be? And what if you

> did paint a house with wings, would that be ok?

>

> The problem with the television is that it takes,

> but it doesn't give back. That's why it is

> boring...no interaction. Even if you have no real

> talent, you can paint. It's fun. You can lose

> yourself for hours.

>

> Physical activity, if at all possible, should be

> done. You need fresh air. You need the opportunity

> to just be, you know? Worst case scenario, you can

> get those tapes that show you how to do exercises

> while sitting down. I think they are called " Sit

> and Fit " or something like that, and you can even

> borrow them from Kaiser's Health Education center.

> watch those instead of tv...and even if you don't do

> it all, you'll be inspired.

>

> Start writing. Write out your feelings, your

> journey, your thoughts about what weight means to

> you, what it will mean to you to lose the weight.

> Think of every little niggling detail, and write it

> out. Your mind will be engaged...and it will

> relieve boredom.

>

> If you are truly stuck at home, can you sign up for

> online classroom work with a local college? Take a

> literature course where you need to read, or learn a

> new language (French being my favorite, of course),

> start thinking about life after obesity. Start

> living life today as a fulfilled person...so that

> when you transition to your new slim self...you

> aren't completely overwhelmed with your upcoming

> options.

>

> There are things you can do, it just requires a

> little motivation and courage. Live life. It's the

> only one you have. If you start taking classes

> today, for example (and you can take a lot of them

> online), in a few years, you will have a degree.

> Maybe, in a couple of years, when you are getting

> thinner...you can start actually going to class on

> campus...and then, as you start to get out of the

> cocoon of extra weight, you will take off as a

> butterfly, WITH A DEGREE. You can have more

> confidence because of the school, more confidence

> because of your weight...and then maybe you can

> start a whole new career, that puts money in your

> pocket (which youll need for your new clothes), and

> a spring in your step.

>

> Don't be limited by reality and pragmatics...live

> your dreams. YOU are really the only one stopping

> yourself from doing that. Think about it. You can

> make a choice to pursue what you really want to be,

> Your weight won't stop you anymore...and you can

> become your own best friend, instead of your biggest

> obstacle.

>

> Life, my friend, is huge and sweet and juicy. Eat

> it up.

>

> Robynn

>

> flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote:

> Robynn, I loved this post soooo much that I am

> printing it out on paper so I can reveiw as needed.

> But I do have a problem, however; what do you do

> when

> you are stuck at home 24 hours a day, 5 days week?

> There is no going for walks, or to the park, or out

> with friends; it's just you and the TV... (or I

> COULD

> work on my Creative Memories albums!!) But after

> I've caught up, then what? I KNOW that I eat out of

> boredom, and also, as I have recently discovered,

> out

> of resentment as well. Anyway, any advice on what to

> do when stuck at home CONSTANTLY?

>

> Pam

>

> --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

>

> > Dean,

> >

> > I think that you have touched upon one of the most

> > critical components for your potential success

> with

> > the surgery. You really need to peel the onion

> (to

> > steal Dr. Fisher's expression) to look at the

> > reasons you eat. Many of us eat rather than deal

> > directly with some of the emotions you mention

> > below. It's a way to choke down the feelings

> rather

> > than actually acknowledge, feel and potentially

> > confront others about those feelings.

> >

> > Boredom is easy: as you lose the weight, you

> become

> > more free to do the things that you want to do.

> > There is simply more freedom in being lighter. I

> > have always been active, regardless of my weight.

> > But, my weight definitely did hold me back. Now

> I'm

> > seriously contemplating beginning salsa lessons

> this

> > month, I'm feeling less shy about pursuing

> > non-solitary hobbies that I am interested in...and

> I

> > fill my life with people and activity...instead of

> > food and television.

> >

> > But, it's the great anesthetizer, isn't it? Food

> > and television. A powerful wallup. Now, I never

> > turn on the television...and I find that I have

> time

> > to take a walk, to write a letter, to do all kinds

> > of things. Even FEEL.

> >

> > So, you substitute reality for artifice

> (food)...and

> > that works pretty well. It can be scary, but it

> > works. The thing about eating is that it only

> dulls

> > the feelings for a moment. The second you

> > swallow...you are back again, feeling the feelings

> > you were trying to avoid. They don't really go

> > away. So, finding a more constructive way to

> handle

> > your true feelings the first go around...well,

> it's

> > much more likely to end up positively...isn't it?

> > Write it out, talk it out, contemplate it out.

>

> >

> > And, after some work...you can do more than

> > temporarily dull the pain of certain emotions.

> You

> > can change your way of thinking. I'm working on

> > that. Learning to become more positive and

> actually

> > focused on truth.

> >

> > Anyway...I seem to have pulled a hamstring or some

> > muscle in my thigh that is hurting mightily...so

> I'm

> > going to go dull my pain with some drugs...and I'm

> > already fading fast...time for night night.

> >

> > Robynn

> >

> > Lucia jlsirugo@...> wrote:

> >

> > > As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what

> > people do when the

> > are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn

> to

> > food, ...and they

> > can't...other than a tiny amount????

> > >

> > > I also wonder if there are many people who lose

> > the amount of

> > weight they are told to before the surgery and

> > decide they can

> > continue doing that, instead of having the

> > surgery???

> > > dean

> >

> > Dean: My daughter had GB a couple of years ago

> and

> > lost 240Pds. One

> > of the hardest thing for her to learn was how not

> to

> > count of food to

> > help you with the depression, bordom and etc. She

> > had to deal with

> > the problem, find a solutation and go on with her

> > life - at times she

> > would cry and other times she would talk about how

> > she was feeling

> > rather then eat and surpress those feelings. Gee

> > sounds almost like -

> > that is what we a suppose to do - what an idea.

> > Has far as

>

=== message truncated ===

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thanks. I used to be a social worker, so I have an MSW. But, I also am a big know it all...so that helps. ; )

RobynnPamela A Marsh wrote:

Robynn no offense to you but I think you are in thewrong profession dear. I know that you are a greatattorney and are great at what you do....remember Iwork with you. I think you should keep the door open as a possibilityfor part time counseling. I think you would be greatat it.Pam Marsh--- Robynn VanPatten wrote:> Why are you stuck at home? Do you have a physical> problem that prevents you from going outside? I> don't remember. A small baby? People you need to> care for?> > How about taking up some art? Learning to> paint...not worrying about the product, but just> enjoying the process of creation...like a child. > Learn to just paint whatever you feel. If you were> to

choose a color that mirrors your current> feelings, what color would it be? And what if you> did paint a house with wings, would that be ok?> > The problem with the television is that it takes,> but it doesn't give back. That's why it is> boring...no interaction. Even if you have no real> talent, you can paint. It's fun. You can lose> yourself for hours.> > Physical activity, if at all possible, should be> done. You need fresh air. You need the opportunity> to just be, you know? Worst case scenario, you can> get those tapes that show you how to do exercises> while sitting down. I think they are called "Sit> and Fit" or something like that, and you can even> borrow them from Kaiser's Health Education center. > watch those instead of tv...and even if you don't do> it all, you'll be

inspired.> > Start writing. Write out your feelings, your> journey, your thoughts about what weight means to> you, what it will mean to you to lose the weight. > Think of every little niggling detail, and write it> out. Your mind will be engaged...and it will> relieve boredom.> > If you are truly stuck at home, can you sign up for> online classroom work with a local college? Take a> literature course where you need to read, or learn a> new language (French being my favorite, of course),> start thinking about life after obesity. Start> living life today as a fulfilled person...so that> when you transition to your new slim self...you> aren't completely overwhelmed with your upcoming> options.> > There are things you can do, it just requires a> little motivation and courage. Live life. It's

the> only one you have. If you start taking classes> today, for example (and you can take a lot of them> online), in a few years, you will have a degree. > Maybe, in a couple of years, when you are getting> thinner...you can start actually going to class on> campus...and then, as you start to get out of the> cocoon of extra weight, you will take off as a> butterfly, WITH A DEGREE. You can have more> confidence because of the school, more confidence> because of your weight...and then maybe you can> start a whole new career, that puts money in your> pocket (which youll need for your new clothes), and> a spring in your step.> > Don't be limited by reality and pragmatics...live> your dreams. YOU are really the only one stopping> yourself from doing that. Think about it. You can> make a choice to pursue what you really want to

be, > Your weight won't stop you anymore...and you can> become your own best friend, instead of your biggest> obstacle. > > Life, my friend, is huge and sweet and juicy. Eat> it up.> > Robynn> > flo boss wrote:> Robynn, I loved this post soooo much that I am> printing it out on paper so I can reveiw as needed.> But I do have a problem, however; what do you do> when> you are stuck at home 24 hours a day, 5 days week?> There is no going for walks, or to the park, or out> with friends; it's just you and the TV... (or I> COULD> work on my Creative Memories albums!!) But after> I've caught up, then what? I KNOW that I eat out of> boredom, and also, as I have recently discovered,> out> of resentment as well. Anyway, any advice on what to> do when stuck at home

CONSTANTLY?> > Pam> > --- Robynn VanPatten wrote:> > > Dean, > > > > I think that you have touched upon one of the most> > critical components for your potential success> with> > the surgery. You really need to peel the onion> (to> > steal Dr. Fisher's expression) to look at the> > reasons you eat. Many of us eat rather than deal> > directly with some of the emotions you mention> > below. It's a way to choke down the feelings> rather> > than actually acknowledge, feel and potentially> > confront others about those feelings.> > > > Boredom is easy: as you lose the weight, you> become> > more free to do the things that you want to do. > > There is simply more freedom in being lighter. I> > have

always been active, regardless of my weight. > > But, my weight definitely did hold me back. Now> I'm> > seriously contemplating beginning salsa lessons> this> > month, I'm feeling less shy about pursuing> > non-solitary hobbies that I am interested in...and> I> > fill my life with people and activity...instead of> > food and television.> > > > But, it's the great anesthetizer, isn't it? Food> > and television. A powerful wallup. Now, I never> > turn on the television...and I find that I have> time> > to take a walk, to write a letter, to do all kinds> > of things. Even FEEL.> > > > So, you substitute reality for artifice> (food)...and> > that works pretty well. It can be scary, but it> > works. The thing about eating is that it

only> dulls> > the feelings for a moment. The second you> > swallow...you are back again, feeling the feelings> > you were trying to avoid. They don't really go> > away. So, finding a more constructive way to> handle> > your true feelings the first go around...well,> it's> > much more likely to end up positively...isn't it? > > Write it out, talk it out, contemplate it out. > > > > > And, after some work...you can do more than> > temporarily dull the pain of certain emotions. > You> > can change your way of thinking. I'm working on> > that. Learning to become more positive and> actually> > focused on truth.> > > > Anyway...I seem to have pulled a hamstring or some> > muscle in my thigh that is hurting mightily...so>

I'm> > going to go dull my pain with some drugs...and I'm> > already fading fast...time for night night.> > > > Robynn > > > > Lucia wrote:> > > > > As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what> > people do when the > > are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn> to> > food, ...and they > > can't...other than a tiny amount????> > > > > > I also wonder if there are many people who lose> > the amount of > > weight they are told to before the surgery and> > decide they can > > continue doing that, instead of having the> > surgery???> > > dean> > > >

Dean: My daughter had GB a couple of years ago> and> > lost 240Pds. One > > of the hardest thing for her to learn was how not> to> > count of food to > > help you with the depression, bordom and etc. She> > had to deal with > > the problem, find a solutation and go on with her> > life - at times she > > would cry and other times she would talk about how> > she was feeling > > rather then eat and surpress those feelings. Gee> > sounds almost like -> > that is what we a suppose to do - what an idea. > > Has far as > === message truncated ===__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

lol, you are something special my dear. Can't wait to

see you when you come back to the office.

Pam Marsh

--- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

> Thanks. I used to be a social worker, so I have an

> MSW. But, I also am a big know it all...so that

> helps. ; )

> Robynn

>

> Pamela A Marsh sweetnlow20012001@...> wrote:

> Robynn no offense to you but I think you are in the

> wrong profession dear. I know that you are a great

> attorney and are great at what you do....remember I

> work with you.

>

> I think you should keep the door open as a

> possibility

> for part time counseling. I think you would be

> great

> at it.

>

> Pam Marsh

>

> --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

>

> > Why are you stuck at home? Do you have a physical

> > problem that prevents you from going outside? I

> > don't remember. A small baby? People you need to

> > care for?

> >

> > How about taking up some art? Learning to

> > paint...not worrying about the product, but just

> > enjoying the process of creation...like a child.

> > Learn to just paint whatever you feel. If you

> were

> > to choose a color that mirrors your current

> > feelings, what color would it be? And what if you

> > did paint a house with wings, would that be ok?

> >

> > The problem with the television is that it takes,

> > but it doesn't give back. That's why it is

> > boring...no interaction. Even if you have no real

> > talent, you can paint. It's fun. You can lose

> > yourself for hours.

> >

> > Physical activity, if at all possible, should be

> > done. You need fresh air. You need the

> opportunity

> > to just be, you know? Worst case scenario, you

> can

> > get those tapes that show you how to do exercises

> > while sitting down. I think they are called " Sit

> > and Fit " or something like that, and you can even

> > borrow them from Kaiser's Health Education center.

>

> > watch those instead of tv...and even if you don't

> do

> > it all, you'll be inspired.

> >

> > Start writing. Write out your feelings, your

> > journey, your thoughts about what weight means to

> > you, what it will mean to you to lose the weight.

> > Think of every little niggling detail, and write

> it

> > out. Your mind will be engaged...and it will

> > relieve boredom.

> >

> > If you are truly stuck at home, can you sign up

> for

> > online classroom work with a local college? Take

> a

> > literature course where you need to read, or learn

> a

> > new language (French being my favorite, of

> course),

> > start thinking about life after obesity. Start

> > living life today as a fulfilled person...so that

> > when you transition to your new slim self...you

> > aren't completely overwhelmed with your upcoming

> > options.

> >

> > There are things you can do, it just requires a

> > little motivation and courage. Live life. It's

> the

> > only one you have. If you start taking classes

> > today, for example (and you can take a lot of them

> > online), in a few years, you will have a degree.

> > Maybe, in a couple of years, when you are getting

> > thinner...you can start actually going to class on

> > campus...and then, as you start to get out of the

> > cocoon of extra weight, you will take off as a

> > butterfly, WITH A DEGREE. You can have more

> > confidence because of the school, more confidence

> > because of your weight...and then maybe you can

> > start a whole new career, that puts money in your

> > pocket (which youll need for your new clothes),

> and

> > a spring in your step.

> >

> > Don't be limited by reality and pragmatics...live

> > your dreams. YOU are really the only one stopping

> > yourself from doing that. Think about it. You

> can

> > make a choice to pursue what you really want to

> be,

> > Your weight won't stop you anymore...and you can

> > become your own best friend, instead of your

> biggest

> > obstacle.

> >

> > Life, my friend, is huge and sweet and juicy. Eat

> > it up.

> >

> > Robynn

> >

> > flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote:

> > Robynn, I loved this post soooo much that I am

> > printing it out on paper so I can reveiw as

> needed.

> > But I do have a problem, however; what do you do

> > when

> > you are stuck at home 24 hours a day, 5 days week?

> > There is no going for walks, or to the park, or

> out

> > with friends; it's just you and the TV... (or I

> > COULD

> > work on my Creative Memories albums!!) But after

> > I've caught up, then what? I KNOW that I eat out

> of

> > boredom, and also, as I have recently discovered,

> > out

> > of resentment as well. Anyway, any advice on what

> to

> > do when stuck at home CONSTANTLY?

> >

> > Pam

> >

> > --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...>

> wrote:

> >

> > > Dean,

> > >

> > > I think that you have touched upon one of the

> most

> > > critical components for your potential success

> > with

> > > the surgery. You really need to peel the onion

> > (to

> > > steal Dr. Fisher's expression) to look at the

> > > reasons you eat. Many of us eat rather than

> deal

> > > directly with some of the emotions you mention

> > > below. It's a way to choke down the feelings

> > rather

> > > than actually acknowledge, feel and potentially

> > > confront others about those feelings.

> > >

> > > Boredom is easy: as you lose the weight, you

> > become

> > > more free to do the things that you want to do.

> > > There is simply more freedom in being lighter.

> I

> > > have always been active, regardless of my

> weight.

> > > But, my weight definitely did hold me back. Now

> > I'm

> > > seriously contemplating beginning salsa lessons

> > this

> > > month, I'm feeling less shy about pursuing

> > > non-solitary hobbies that I am interested

> in...and

> > I

> > > fill my life with people and activity...instead

> of

> > > food and television.

> > >

> > > But, it's the great anesthetizer, isn't it?

> Food

> > > and television. A powerful wallup. Now, I

> never

> > > turn on the television...and I find that I have

> > time

> > > to take a walk, to write a letter, to do all

> kinds

> > > of things. Even FEEL.

> > >

> > > So, you substitute reality for artifice

> > (food)...and

> > > that works pretty well. It can be scary, but it

> > > works. The thing about eating is that it only

> > dulls

> > > the feelings for a moment. The second you

> > > swallow...you are back again, feeling the

> feelings

> > > you were trying to avoid. They don't really go

> > > away. So, finding a more constructive way to

> > handle

> > > your true feelings the first go around...well,

> > it's

> > > much more likely to end up positively...isn't

> it?

> > > Write it out, talk it out, contemplate it out.

>

> >

> > >

>

=== message truncated ===

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thank you for all of the grewat ideas! I think that I

try a few of them, if not all. (Except for the

painting. I am so not into painting!) But the idea

about taking a few courses on line was the most

interesting!

Oh , and to answer your question: I have a

four-year-old who has 40-hours of in-home therapy each

week, and because he is exhausted after his 40-hour

work week, I don't think it fair to take him out after

the last therapist leaves for the afternoon, (5:00pm).

Pam

--- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

> Why are you stuck at home? Do you have a physical

> problem that prevents you from going outside? I

> don't remember. A small baby? People you need to

> care for?

>

> How about taking up some art? Learning to

> paint...not worrying about the product, but just

> enjoying the process of creation...like a child.

> Learn to just paint whatever you feel. If you were

> to choose a color that mirrors your current

> feelings, what color would it be? And what if you

> did paint a house with wings, would that be ok?

>

> The problem with the television is that it takes,

> but it doesn't give back. That's why it is

> boring...no interaction. Even if you have no real

> talent, you can paint. It's fun. You can lose

> yourself for hours.

>

> Physical activity, if at all possible, should be

> done. You need fresh air. You need the opportunity

> to just be, you know? Worst case scenario, you can

> get those tapes that show you how to do exercises

> while sitting down. I think they are called " Sit

> and Fit " or something like that, and you can even

> borrow them from Kaiser's Health Education center.

> watch those instead of tv...and even if you don't do

> it all, you'll be inspired.

>

> Start writing. Write out your feelings, your

> journey, your thoughts about what weight means to

> you, what it will mean to you to lose the weight.

> Think of every little niggling detail, and write it

> out. Your mind will be engaged...and it will

> relieve boredom.

>

> If you are truly stuck at home, can you sign up for

> online classroom work with a local college? Take a

> literature course where you need to read, or learn a

> new language (French being my favorite, of course),

> start thinking about life after obesity. Start

> living life today as a fulfilled person...so that

> when you transition to your new slim self...you

> aren't completely overwhelmed with your upcoming

> options.

>

> There are things you can do, it just requires a

> little motivation and courage. Live life. It's the

> only one you have. If you start taking classes

> today, for example (and you can take a lot of them

> online), in a few years, you will have a degree.

> Maybe, in a couple of years, when you are getting

> thinner...you can start actually going to class on

> campus...and then, as you start to get out of the

> cocoon of extra weight, you will take off as a

> butterfly, WITH A DEGREE. You can have more

> confidence because of the school, more confidence

> because of your weight...and then maybe you can

> start a whole new career, that puts money in your

> pocket (which youll need for your new clothes), and

> a spring in your step.

>

> Don't be limited by reality and pragmatics...live

> your dreams. YOU are really the only one stopping

> yourself from doing that. Think about it. You can

> make a choice to pursue what you really want to be,

> Your weight won't stop you anymore...and you can

> become your own best friend, instead of your biggest

> obstacle.

>

> Life, my friend, is huge and sweet and juicy. Eat

> it up.

>

> Robynn

>

> flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote:

> Robynn, I loved this post soooo much that I am

> printing it out on paper so I can reveiw as needed.

> But I do have a problem, however; what do you do

> when

> you are stuck at home 24 hours a day, 5 days week?

> There is no going for walks, or to the park, or out

> with friends; it's just you and the TV... (or I

> COULD

> work on my Creative Memories albums!!) But after

> I've caught up, then what? I KNOW that I eat out of

> boredom, and also, as I have recently discovered,

> out

> of resentment as well. Anyway, any advice on what to

> do when stuck at home CONSTANTLY?

>

> Pam

>

> --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

>

> > Dean,

> >

> > I think that you have touched upon one of the most

> > critical components for your potential success

> with

> > the surgery. You really need to peel the onion

> (to

> > steal Dr. Fisher's expression) to look at the

> > reasons you eat. Many of us eat rather than deal

> > directly with some of the emotions you mention

> > below. It's a way to choke down the feelings

> rather

> > than actually acknowledge, feel and potentially

> > confront others about those feelings.

> >

> > Boredom is easy: as you lose the weight, you

> become

> > more free to do the things that you want to do.

> > There is simply more freedom in being lighter. I

> > have always been active, regardless of my weight.

> > But, my weight definitely did hold me back. Now

> I'm

> > seriously contemplating beginning salsa lessons

> this

> > month, I'm feeling less shy about pursuing

> > non-solitary hobbies that I am interested in...and

> I

> > fill my life with people and activity...instead of

> > food and television.

> >

> > But, it's the great anesthetizer, isn't it? Food

> > and television. A powerful wallup. Now, I never

> > turn on the television...and I find that I have

> time

> > to take a walk, to write a letter, to do all kinds

> > of things. Even FEEL.

> >

> > So, you substitute reality for artifice

> (food)...and

> > that works pretty well. It can be scary, but it

> > works. The thing about eating is that it only

> dulls

> > the feelings for a moment. The second you

> > swallow...you are back again, feeling the feelings

> > you were trying to avoid. They don't really go

> > away. So, finding a more constructive way to

> handle

> > your true feelings the first go around...well,

> it's

> > much more likely to end up positively...isn't it?

> > Write it out, talk it out, contemplate it out.

>

> >

> > And, after some work...you can do more than

> > temporarily dull the pain of certain emotions.

> You

> > can change your way of thinking. I'm working on

> > that. Learning to become more positive and

> actually

> > focused on truth.

> >

> > Anyway...I seem to have pulled a hamstring or some

> > muscle in my thigh that is hurting mightily...so

> I'm

> > going to go dull my pain with some drugs...and I'm

> > already fading fast...time for night night.

> >

> > Robynn

> >

> > Lucia jlsirugo@...> wrote:

> >

> > > As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what

> > people do when the

> > are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn

> to

> > food, ...and they

> > can't...other than a tiny amount????

> > >

> > > I also wonder if there are many people who lose

> > the amount of

> > weight they are told to before the surgery and

> > decide they can

> > continue doing that, instead of having the

> > surgery???

> > > dean

> >

> > Dean: My daughter had GB a couple of years ago

> and

> > lost 240Pds. One

> > of the hardest thing for her to learn was how not

> to

> > count of food to

> > help you with the depression, bordom and etc. She

> > had to deal with

> > the problem, find a solutation and go on with her

> > life - at times she

> > would cry and other times she would talk about how

> > she was feeling

> > rather then eat and surpress those feelings. Gee

> > sounds almost like -

> > that is what we a suppose to do - what an idea.

> > Has far as

>

=== message truncated ===

____________________________________________________

Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page

http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs

[Guest guest]

Thank you for all of the grewat ideas! I think that I

try a few of them, if not all. (Except for the

painting. I am so not into painting!) But the idea

about taking a few courses on line was the most

interesting!

Oh , and to answer your question: I have a

four-year-old who has 40-hours of in-home therapy each

week, and because he is exhausted after his 40-hour

work week, I don't think it fair to take him out after

the last therapist leaves for the afternoon, (5:00pm).

Pam

--- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

> Why are you stuck at home? Do you have a physical

> problem that prevents you from going outside? I

> don't remember. A small baby? People you need to

> care for?

>

> How about taking up some art? Learning to

> paint...not worrying about the product, but just

> enjoying the process of creation...like a child.

> Learn to just paint whatever you feel. If you were

> to choose a color that mirrors your current

> feelings, what color would it be? And what if you

> did paint a house with wings, would that be ok?

>

> The problem with the television is that it takes,

> but it doesn't give back. That's why it is

> boring...no interaction. Even if you have no real

> talent, you can paint. It's fun. You can lose

> yourself for hours.

>

> Physical activity, if at all possible, should be

> done. You need fresh air. You need the opportunity

> to just be, you know? Worst case scenario, you can

> get those tapes that show you how to do exercises

> while sitting down. I think they are called " Sit

> and Fit " or something like that, and you can even

> borrow them from Kaiser's Health Education center.

> watch those instead of tv...and even if you don't do

> it all, you'll be inspired.

>

> Start writing. Write out your feelings, your

> journey, your thoughts about what weight means to

> you, what it will mean to you to lose the weight.

> Think of every little niggling detail, and write it

> out. Your mind will be engaged...and it will

> relieve boredom.

>

> If you are truly stuck at home, can you sign up for

> online classroom work with a local college? Take a

> literature course where you need to read, or learn a

> new language (French being my favorite, of course),

> start thinking about life after obesity. Start

> living life today as a fulfilled person...so that

> when you transition to your new slim self...you

> aren't completely overwhelmed with your upcoming

> options.

>

> There are things you can do, it just requires a

> little motivation and courage. Live life. It's the

> only one you have. If you start taking classes

> today, for example (and you can take a lot of them

> online), in a few years, you will have a degree.

> Maybe, in a couple of years, when you are getting

> thinner...you can start actually going to class on

> campus...and then, as you start to get out of the

> cocoon of extra weight, you will take off as a

> butterfly, WITH A DEGREE. You can have more

> confidence because of the school, more confidence

> because of your weight...and then maybe you can

> start a whole new career, that puts money in your

> pocket (which youll need for your new clothes), and

> a spring in your step.

>

> Don't be limited by reality and pragmatics...live

> your dreams. YOU are really the only one stopping

> yourself from doing that. Think about it. You can

> make a choice to pursue what you really want to be,

> Your weight won't stop you anymore...and you can

> become your own best friend, instead of your biggest

> obstacle.

>

> Life, my friend, is huge and sweet and juicy. Eat

> it up.

>

> Robynn

>

> flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote:

> Robynn, I loved this post soooo much that I am

> printing it out on paper so I can reveiw as needed.

> But I do have a problem, however; what do you do

> when

> you are stuck at home 24 hours a day, 5 days week?

> There is no going for walks, or to the park, or out

> with friends; it's just you and the TV... (or I

> COULD

> work on my Creative Memories albums!!) But after

> I've caught up, then what? I KNOW that I eat out of

> boredom, and also, as I have recently discovered,

> out

> of resentment as well. Anyway, any advice on what to

> do when stuck at home CONSTANTLY?

>

> Pam

>

> --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

>

> > Dean,

> >

> > I think that you have touched upon one of the most

> > critical components for your potential success

> with

> > the surgery. You really need to peel the onion

> (to

> > steal Dr. Fisher's expression) to look at the

> > reasons you eat. Many of us eat rather than deal

> > directly with some of the emotions you mention

> > below. It's a way to choke down the feelings

> rather

> > than actually acknowledge, feel and potentially

> > confront others about those feelings.

> >

> > Boredom is easy: as you lose the weight, you

> become

> > more free to do the things that you want to do.

> > There is simply more freedom in being lighter. I

> > have always been active, regardless of my weight.

> > But, my weight definitely did hold me back. Now

> I'm

> > seriously contemplating beginning salsa lessons

> this

> > month, I'm feeling less shy about pursuing

> > non-solitary hobbies that I am interested in...and

> I

> > fill my life with people and activity...instead of

> > food and television.

> >

> > But, it's the great anesthetizer, isn't it? Food

> > and television. A powerful wallup. Now, I never

> > turn on the television...and I find that I have

> time

> > to take a walk, to write a letter, to do all kinds

> > of things. Even FEEL.

> >

> > So, you substitute reality for artifice

> (food)...and

> > that works pretty well. It can be scary, but it

> > works. The thing about eating is that it only

> dulls

> > the feelings for a moment. The second you

> > swallow...you are back again, feeling the feelings

> > you were trying to avoid. They don't really go

> > away. So, finding a more constructive way to

> handle

> > your true feelings the first go around...well,

> it's

> > much more likely to end up positively...isn't it?

> > Write it out, talk it out, contemplate it out.

>

> >

> > And, after some work...you can do more than

> > temporarily dull the pain of certain emotions.

> You

> > can change your way of thinking. I'm working on

> > that. Learning to become more positive and

> actually

> > focused on truth.

> >

> > Anyway...I seem to have pulled a hamstring or some

> > muscle in my thigh that is hurting mightily...so

> I'm

> > going to go dull my pain with some drugs...and I'm

> > already fading fast...time for night night.

> >

> > Robynn

> >

> > Lucia jlsirugo@...> wrote:

> >

> > > As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what

> > people do when the

> > are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn

> to

> > food, ...and they

> > can't...other than a tiny amount????

> > >

> > > I also wonder if there are many people who lose

> > the amount of

> > weight they are told to before the surgery and

> > decide they can

> > continue doing that, instead of having the

> > surgery???

> > > dean

> >

> > Dean: My daughter had GB a couple of years ago

> and

> > lost 240Pds. One

> > of the hardest thing for her to learn was how not

> to

> > count of food to

> > help you with the depression, bordom and etc. She

> > had to deal with

> > the problem, find a solutation and go on with her

> > life - at times she

> > would cry and other times she would talk about how

> > she was feeling

> > rather then eat and surpress those feelings. Gee

> > sounds almost like -

> > that is what we a suppose to do - what an idea.

> > Has far as

>

=== message truncated ===

____________________________________________________

Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page

http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs

[Guest guest]

Thank you for all of the grewat ideas! I think that I

try a few of them, if not all. (Except for the

painting. I am so not into painting!) But the idea

about taking a few courses on line was the most

interesting!

Oh , and to answer your question: I have a

four-year-old who has 40-hours of in-home therapy each

week, and because he is exhausted after his 40-hour

work week, I don't think it fair to take him out after

the last therapist leaves for the afternoon, (5:00pm).

Pam

--- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

> Why are you stuck at home? Do you have a physical

> problem that prevents you from going outside? I

> don't remember. A small baby? People you need to

> care for?

>

> How about taking up some art? Learning to

> paint...not worrying about the product, but just

> enjoying the process of creation...like a child.

> Learn to just paint whatever you feel. If you were

> to choose a color that mirrors your current

> feelings, what color would it be? And what if you

> did paint a house with wings, would that be ok?

>

> The problem with the television is that it takes,

> but it doesn't give back. That's why it is

> boring...no interaction. Even if you have no real

> talent, you can paint. It's fun. You can lose

> yourself for hours.

>

> Physical activity, if at all possible, should be

> done. You need fresh air. You need the opportunity

> to just be, you know? Worst case scenario, you can

> get those tapes that show you how to do exercises

> while sitting down. I think they are called " Sit

> and Fit " or something like that, and you can even

> borrow them from Kaiser's Health Education center.

> watch those instead of tv...and even if you don't do

> it all, you'll be inspired.

>

> Start writing. Write out your feelings, your

> journey, your thoughts about what weight means to

> you, what it will mean to you to lose the weight.

> Think of every little niggling detail, and write it

> out. Your mind will be engaged...and it will

> relieve boredom.

>

> If you are truly stuck at home, can you sign up for

> online classroom work with a local college? Take a

> literature course where you need to read, or learn a

> new language (French being my favorite, of course),

> start thinking about life after obesity. Start

> living life today as a fulfilled person...so that

> when you transition to your new slim self...you

> aren't completely overwhelmed with your upcoming

> options.

>

> There are things you can do, it just requires a

> little motivation and courage. Live life. It's the

> only one you have. If you start taking classes

> today, for example (and you can take a lot of them

> online), in a few years, you will have a degree.

> Maybe, in a couple of years, when you are getting

> thinner...you can start actually going to class on

> campus...and then, as you start to get out of the

> cocoon of extra weight, you will take off as a

> butterfly, WITH A DEGREE. You can have more

> confidence because of the school, more confidence

> because of your weight...and then maybe you can

> start a whole new career, that puts money in your

> pocket (which youll need for your new clothes), and

> a spring in your step.

>

> Don't be limited by reality and pragmatics...live

> your dreams. YOU are really the only one stopping

> yourself from doing that. Think about it. You can

> make a choice to pursue what you really want to be,

> Your weight won't stop you anymore...and you can

> become your own best friend, instead of your biggest

> obstacle.

>

> Life, my friend, is huge and sweet and juicy. Eat

> it up.

>

> Robynn

>

> flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote:

> Robynn, I loved this post soooo much that I am

> printing it out on paper so I can reveiw as needed.

> But I do have a problem, however; what do you do

> when

> you are stuck at home 24 hours a day, 5 days week?

> There is no going for walks, or to the park, or out

> with friends; it's just you and the TV... (or I

> COULD

> work on my Creative Memories albums!!) But after

> I've caught up, then what? I KNOW that I eat out of

> boredom, and also, as I have recently discovered,

> out

> of resentment as well. Anyway, any advice on what to

> do when stuck at home CONSTANTLY?

>

> Pam

>

> --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

>

> > Dean,

> >

> > I think that you have touched upon one of the most

> > critical components for your potential success

> with

> > the surgery. You really need to peel the onion

> (to

> > steal Dr. Fisher's expression) to look at the

> > reasons you eat. Many of us eat rather than deal

> > directly with some of the emotions you mention

> > below. It's a way to choke down the feelings

> rather

> > than actually acknowledge, feel and potentially

> > confront others about those feelings.

> >

> > Boredom is easy: as you lose the weight, you

> become

> > more free to do the things that you want to do.

> > There is simply more freedom in being lighter. I

> > have always been active, regardless of my weight.

> > But, my weight definitely did hold me back. Now

> I'm

> > seriously contemplating beginning salsa lessons

> this

> > month, I'm feeling less shy about pursuing

> > non-solitary hobbies that I am interested in...and

> I

> > fill my life with people and activity...instead of

> > food and television.

> >

> > But, it's the great anesthetizer, isn't it? Food

> > and television. A powerful wallup. Now, I never

> > turn on the television...and I find that I have

> time

> > to take a walk, to write a letter, to do all kinds

> > of things. Even FEEL.

> >

> > So, you substitute reality for artifice

> (food)...and

> > that works pretty well. It can be scary, but it

> > works. The thing about eating is that it only

> dulls

> > the feelings for a moment. The second you

> > swallow...you are back again, feeling the feelings

> > you were trying to avoid. They don't really go

> > away. So, finding a more constructive way to

> handle

> > your true feelings the first go around...well,

> it's

> > much more likely to end up positively...isn't it?

> > Write it out, talk it out, contemplate it out.

>

> >

> > And, after some work...you can do more than

> > temporarily dull the pain of certain emotions.

> You

> > can change your way of thinking. I'm working on

> > that. Learning to become more positive and

> actually

> > focused on truth.

> >

> > Anyway...I seem to have pulled a hamstring or some

> > muscle in my thigh that is hurting mightily...so

> I'm

> > going to go dull my pain with some drugs...and I'm

> > already fading fast...time for night night.

> >

> > Robynn

> >

> > Lucia jlsirugo@...> wrote:

> >

> > > As one who is contemplating GB, I wonder what

> > people do when the

> > are bored, depressed, etc and would normaly turn

> to

> > food, ...and they

> > can't...other than a tiny amount????

> > >

> > > I also wonder if there are many people who lose

> > the amount of

> > weight they are told to before the surgery and

> > decide they can

> > continue doing that, instead of having the

> > surgery???

> > > dean

> >

> > Dean: My daughter had GB a couple of years ago

> and

> > lost 240Pds. One

> > of the hardest thing for her to learn was how not

> to

> > count of food to

> > help you with the depression, bordom and etc. She

> > had to deal with

> > the problem, find a solutation and go on with her

> > life - at times she

> > would cry and other times she would talk about how

> > she was feeling

> > rather then eat and surpress those feelings. Gee

> > sounds almost like -

> > that is what we a suppose to do - what an idea.

> > Has far as

>

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[Guest guest]

Try putting on some music and just dance! If you are alone, who cares

how you look when you dance. If you have mobility problems, you can

try just " chair dancing " which really means just some movements with

body parts you can mov while sitting down.

Either that, or is there any way you can get a treadmill, exercise

bike or other inside exercise equipment.

I still love watching TV & movies, so I have an exercise bike set up

where I can watch while pedaling.

There are creative ways you can get moving and exercise while still at

home. I hope you can find something.

--Sandi H. (5 ft 1 inch tall and 50 years old)

I live in Citrus Heights (Sacramento County)

Dr. Leo – San Diego (Thru Kaiser)

315 at orientation (May '03)

285 at 3 pre-op appointments in San Diego (August 4, 2003)

252 at surgery (6/03/04)

Last weighed at 175.5 (07/30/2005)

Hopefully someday below 140

sandiantoytrain @ yahoo . com

> Robynn, I loved this post soooo much that I am

> printing it out on paper so I can reveiw as needed.

> But I do have a problem, however; what do you do when

> you are stuck at home 24 hours a day, 5 days week?

> There is no going for walks, or to the park, or out

> with friends; it's just you and the TV... (or I COULD

> work on my Creative Memories albums!!) But after

> I've caught up, then what? I KNOW that I eat out of

> boredom, and also, as I have recently discovered, out

> of resentment as well. Anyway, any advice on what to

> do when stuck at home CONSTANTLY?

>

> Pam

>

[Guest guest]

It's not so bad... one does get accustomed to one's

circumstances. However, I have become increasingly

aware that I eat out of boredom, (having to stay home

ALL DAY LONG!!!), and out of resentment. (I miss my

job, miss adult conversation, miss my ex being here,

etc, etc) Please don't get me wrong, I love my little

boy with all of my heart, and would never trade him

for anything in the world. It's just that I sometimes

wish that circumstances would have been different.

(BTW, this is a recent feeling that I have just begun

to feel, probably because I was always stuffing the

feelings of resentment with food.)

And yes, I know that their are so many others out

there with far worse circumstances, and I am truly

sorry that " they " have to suffer. Furthermore, I also

am very grateful that my son is getting the care that

he needs to progress, and that he is doing so much

better medically. (thank God!)

Pam b

--- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

> You have a lot of stress in your life, don't you?

> Thats very hard, I am sure. Well, it sounds like

> the online classes may be just the ticket. I

> believe there is quite a lot of scheduling freedom

> with that...and you could probably do it while the

> therapists are around.

>

> I'm sorry, Pam...you don't have a very easy time of

> it.

>

> Thinking of you,

> Robynn

>

>

> flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote:

> I do get 16-hours of respite care each month,

> provided

> for by the State. (KP does not cover the cost of

> respite care unless the family member is terminally

> ill.) But the 16 hours is taken for my Tuesday

> Binge-Eating classes, and for the once-a-month

> Thursday WLS support group on Thursday evenings, (my

> 1st Thursday night class will be this week; I am

> sooo

> excited!!). If I have anything left over, (which I

> usually do not), I spend it grocery shopping so that

> I

> don't have to bring my son, (I am a single mom).

>

> And unfortunatly, I HAVE to stay here while the

> therapists are here. It is a " liability " issue with

> their company; someone over the age of 18 must be

> present at all times while the therapists are here.

> Also, the therapist will work with my son up to 50

> minutes, and then he will have a 10 to 20 minute

> break

> with me, and then back to the therapist he goes.

> This

> goes on from 8-noon then from 1-5, 5 days a week.

> (he

> has a one hour break for lunch, and it takes that

> long

> to get the food down him!!)

>

> Anyway.... not much spontanaity (sp?) for this

> household, I am afraid.

>

> Pam b

>

> --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...> wrote:

>

> > Wow...that is very difficult, Pam. I didn't

> realize

> > that you had such a difficult time of it. Well,

> any

> > chance that you can get someone to help you just

> for

> > an hour every day? You could go out and take a

> > walk...

> >

> > Maybe you could enlist a few friends or relatives

> to

> > give you an hour or two a week? If you don't take

> > care of yourself, you won't be able to be there

> > consistently for your son while he goes through

> all

> > of this. Sometimes you can find a little relief

> > care. Tak to Kaiser and see if they have anything

> > like that, if you can't afford to get someone in.

> >

> > While the therapist is there, do you have to be

> > there? I'm sure you want to be, and you'd only

> > leave your son if you can be very sure that the

> > therapist is trustworthy...but maybe you could

> dash

> > out and take a walk, and get some fresh air while

> > one of the therapists is working with him?

> >

> > Robynn

> >

> > flo boss florenceboss@...> wrote:

> > Thank you for all of the grewat ideas! I think

> that

> > I

> > try a few of them, if not all. (Except for the

> > painting. I am so not into painting!) But the idea

> > about taking a few courses on line was the most

> > interesting!

> >

> > Oh , and to answer your question: I have a

> > four-year-old who has 40-hours of in-home therapy

> > each

> > week, and because he is exhausted after his

> 40-hour

> > work week, I don't think it fair to take him out

> > after

> > the last therapist leaves for the afternoon,

> > (5:00pm).

> >

> > Pam

> >

> > --- Robynn VanPatten robynnsf@...>

> wrote:

> >

> > > Why are you stuck at home? Do you have a

> physical

> > > problem that prevents you from going outside? I

> > > don't remember. A small baby? People you need

> to

> > > care for?

> > >

> > > How about taking up some art? Learning to

> > > paint...not worrying about the product, but just

> > > enjoying the process of creation...like a child.

>

> > > Learn to just paint whatever you feel. If you

> > were

> > > to choose a color that mirrors your current

> > > feelings, what color would it be? And what if

> you

> > > did paint a house with wings, would that be ok?

> > >

> > > The problem with the television is that it

> takes,

> > > but it doesn't give back. That's why it is

> > > boring...no interaction. Even if you have no

> real

> > > talent, you can paint. It's fun. You can lose

> > > yourself for hours.

> > >

> > > Physical activity, if at all possible, should be

> > > done. You need fresh air. You need the

> > opportunity

> > > to just be, you know? Worst case scenario, you

> > can

> > > get those tapes that show you how to do

> exercises

> > > while sitting down. I think they are called

> " Sit

> > > and Fit " or something like that, and you can

> even

> > > borrow them from Kaiser's Health Education

> center.

> >

> > > watch those instead of tv...and even if you

> don't

> > do

> > > it all, you'll be inspired.

> > >

> > > Start writing. Write out your feelings, your

> > > journey, your thoughts about what weight means

> to

> > > you, what it will mean to you to lose the

> weight.

> > > Think of every little niggling detail, and write

> > it

> > > out. Your mind will be engaged...and it will

> > > relieve boredom.

> > >

> > > If you are truly stuck at home, can you sign up

> > for

> > > online classroom work with a local college?

> Take

> > a

> > > literature course where you need to read, or

> learn

> > a

> > > new language (French being my favorite, of

> > course),

> > > start thinking about life after obesity. Start

> > > living life today as a fulfilled person...so

> that

> > > when you transition to your new slim self...you

> > > aren't completely overwhelmed with your upcoming

> > > options.

> > >

> > > There are things you can do, it just requires a

> > > little motivation and courage. Live life. It's

> > the

> > > only one you have. If you start taking classes

> > > today, for example (and you can take a lot of

> them

> > > online), in a few years, you will have a degree.

>

> > > Maybe, in a couple of years, when you are

> getting

> > > thinner...you can start actually going to class

> on

> > > campus...and then, as you start to get out of

> the

> > > cocoon of extra weight, you will take off as a

> > > butterfly, WITH A DEGREE. You can have more

> > > confidence because of the school, more

> confidence

> > > because of your weight...and then maybe you can

> > > start a whole new career, that puts money in

> your

> > > pocket (which youll need for your new clothes),

> > and

> > > a spring in your step.

> > >

>

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