Re: Weight loss rate and French men issues...

July 17, 2005

Robynn, remember this is not a race. I have to keep telling myself that too. I'm 8 weeks out and only lost 22.5 lbs. I started out at 215. It is hard to predict what one will lose everyone is different. By all means do not compare yourself to others you will be disappointed. I myself am proof of that. I've been at the same weight now for 8 days. Any way don't stress on the weight when its ready and you are doing the right stuff it will just fall off of you... We didn't gain the weight overnight and we have great expectations to lose it overnight since we did our surg. Keep your head high whatever you weigh when your french man comes home I'm sure he'll love you either way... And then the next time you see him you will be even smaller than this time.

RoseRobynn wrote:

Hey guys...OK, so here's the thing. Perspective, I need perspective. In any event, I am at 207 today. It has been five and a half weeks since my surgery. I weighed in at 235.5 the day of the surgery. SO, that's 28.5 lbs...about an average of five a week. So why do I feel like this is going SLOWLY? I read the obesityhelp.com before and after things, and it seems like other people are losing so much faster than I am. And yes, I know that part of it is that many of these folks are only doing liquid protein beforehand...and didn't have to lose weight beforehand, so they are losing more water weight initially. I know that, and yet I worry.To add bizarro fuel to my neurosis...so the other Frenchy, the one that broke my heart (Olivier)...called me again. Twice in

the last few weeks. He seems to be jealous of , although in his standard non-committal way, he just keeps telling me to "slow down" and "take your time"...so, he could just be a "concerned friend". Who knows? HOWEVER, when I mentioned that was coming to see me in October...he suddenly tells me that HE is coming in September, the month before.ANd not only did he SAY that...he actually has a ticket! Oy. His buddy is coming, too...and they are going to be in Las vegas for part of that time...maybe his friend will be in LV for the whole time, I don't know...but he hasn't asked to stay with me. For all I know, he's ASSUMING. Or, shoot...maybe he isn't going to even see me, although I doubt it. His, "Well I'm coming in September" was immediately, and I mean immediately following my announcement that is coming in October. And in fact, he booked his flight just

moments after our telephone conversation. ARGHHHHHH. is sweet, romantic, handsome, talented, intelligent, seemingly hot hot hot and crazy madly in love with me. Olivier is even more handsome, sweet, smart and funny...tender...but not terribly romantic, at least not towards me, has been somewhat resistant in some ways, afraid of "us" afraid to be vulnerable (for incredibly good reasons: we met while we were both married...and he's been through the ringer in the last few years: sister committed suicide, best friend died of cancer, other best friend killed in car crash, mom diagnosed with cancer, father had massive heart attack, he was mugged...oh and all on top of the fact that he was hit by a drunk driver while on a motorcycle a couple of years before I met him. That left him with a paralyzed arm, in a coma for a year, a rehab hospital for the year after that while he learned to walk and talk

again...and stripped his career away from him. Oh, and did I mention he went through a divorce, too.) So, he's got a lot of fear, and may be permanently damaged as a result of all of this horror.But I loved him, madly, for four and a half years. Madly. Like I've never loved anyone before. And so...I kinda of HAVE to see him...I don't think I could handle NOT seeing him...but I don't want him to turn my head...and I think he ruined everything when he told me he wasn't attracted to me (which I knew was utter crap, but I also knew he was obviously wanting to push me away, so I took the hint and left.) He feels inadequate because of the finances, because I'm a successful attorney, blah blah blah...he has nothing to offer, etc...blah blah blah. (Although his race horse has been winning lately, and things are turning around for him. Yes, he owns a race horse. Don't

ask.)oy.Anyway...so the thing is...whether we get together or not (I doubt it...it would be very hard for him to compete with , who appears to be healthy and is totally crazy about me) I want to look great. And I know I'm looking better already. So here's the think...I have a bit more than six weeks (I think) until Olivier descends. Darn it!! I want to lose another 25 lbs. in the next six weeks. Am I dreaming???Oy. Can I just say...oy?!?!?! He drives me insane...but he said, "You know you still love me, Robynn...you have to still love me. Why are you rushing into something else? Why???" (Note how he didn't say, "And I still love you...we have something here...let's not lose it. Wait for me.") The thing is, I'm still vulnerable to him, I know I am. Pam knows I am.Oy.How much weight can I lose?!?!?! I tried that stupid

weightloss calculator, and it looks like a total of 48 lbs. if I'm lucky. Oy.Robynn__________________________________________________

July 17, 2005

Robin, I first want to address your weight loss. I had to laugh when you

said that you are losing slowly, you're not and the only reason you think

you are is because of these deadlines you keep putting on yourself. I am

losing slowly, at a little less than three pounds a week, and I know why I

am. I am not nearly as athletic as you are. You should remember too that

a lot of people, on the boards, are probably bigger than you were going in,

and so they are losing more quickly. The way you are losing, sounds like

you will make it losing the 25 pounds in six weeks, but there might be a

plateau between now and then, and the hibernation that most seem to go

through.

On to the next thing, Both things that Olivier said to you--the thing about

you still loving him and the thing about you moving too quickly--are both

things with which I tend to agree. Please try to look inside yourself, if

you haven't already done that, and determine just what your motives

are. Try to take time for yourself, to know just what you're going

through, and see whoever when you feel confident you know that. A case

could be made, and I'm sure you know this, that you were rejected by one

handsome Frenchman so you found another handsome Frenchman, to love you,

who was even better in some ways. Do you really want to fall into the

trap, if this is what you're doing, of having a relationship with someone

on the rebound? Anyway enough of my rambling for now, I know what a fever

you must be in now! LaWanda At 09:37 AM 7/17/05, you wrote:

>Hey guys...

>

>OK, so here's the thing. Perspective, I need perspective. In any

>event, I am at 207 today. It has been five and a half weeks since my

>surgery. I weighed in at 235.5 the day of the surgery. SO, that's

>28.5 lbs...about an average of five a week. So why do I feel like

>this is going SLOWLY?

>

>I read the obesityhelp.com before and after things, and it seems like

>other people are losing so much faster than I am. And yes, I know

>that part of it is that many of these folks are only doing liquid

>protein beforehand...and didn't have to lose weight beforehand, so

>they are losing more water weight initially. I know that, and yet I

>worry.

>

>To add bizarro fuel to my neurosis...so the other Frenchy, the one

>that broke my heart (Olivier)...called me again. Twice in the last

>few weeks. He seems to be jealous of , although in his standard

>non-committal way, he just keeps telling me to " slow down " and " take

>your time " ...so, he could just be a " concerned friend " . Who knows?

>HOWEVER, when I mentioned that was coming to see me in

>October...he suddenly tells me that HE is coming in September, the

>month before.

>

>ANd not only did he SAY that...he actually has a ticket! Oy. His

>buddy is coming, too...and they are going to be in Las vegas for part

>of that time...maybe his friend will be in LV for the whole time, I

>don't know...but he hasn't asked to stay with me. For all I know,

>he's ASSUMING. Or, shoot...maybe he isn't going to even see me,

>although I doubt it. His, " Well I'm coming in September " was

>immediately, and I mean immediately following my announcement that

> is coming in October. And in fact, he booked his flight just

>moments after our telephone conversation.

>

>ARGHHHHHH. is sweet, romantic, handsome, talented, intelligent,

>seemingly hot hot hot and crazy madly in love with me. Olivier is

>even more handsome, sweet, smart and funny...tender...but not

>terribly romantic, at least not towards me, has been somewhat

>resistant in some ways, afraid of " us " afraid to be vulnerable (for

>incredibly good reasons: we met while we were both married...and

>he's been through the ringer in the last few years: sister committed

>suicide, best friend died of cancer, other best friend killed in car

>crash, mom diagnosed with cancer, father had massive heart attack, he

>was mugged...oh and all on top of the fact that he was hit by a drunk

>driver while on a motorcycle a couple of years before I met him.

>That left him with a paralyzed arm, in a coma for a year, a rehab

>hospital for the year after that while he learned to walk and talk

>again...and stripped his career away from him. Oh, and did I mention

>he went through a divorce, too.) So, he's got a lot of fear, and may

>be permanently damaged as a result of all of this horror.

>

>But I loved him, madly, for four and a half years. Madly. Like I've

>never loved anyone before.

>

>And so...I kinda of HAVE to see him...I don't think I could handle

>NOT seeing him...but I don't want him to turn my head...and I think

>he ruined everything when he told me he wasn't attracted to me (which

>I knew was utter crap, but I also knew he was obviously wanting to

>push me away, so I took the hint and left.) He feels inadequate

>because of the finances, because I'm a successful attorney, blah blah

>blah...he has nothing to offer, etc...blah blah blah. (Although his

>race horse has been winning lately, and things are turning around for

>him. Yes, he owns a race horse. Don't ask.)

>

>oy.

>

>Anyway...so the thing is...whether we get together or not (I doubt

>it...it would be very hard for him to compete with , who appears

>to be healthy and is totally crazy about me) I want to look great.

>And I know I'm looking better already. So here's the think...I have

>a bit more than six weeks (I think) until Olivier descends. Darn

>it!! I want to lose another 25 lbs. in the next six weeks. Am I

>dreaming???

>

>Oy. Can I just say...oy?!?!?! He drives me insane...but he

>said, " You know you still love me, Robynn...you have to still love

>me. Why are you rushing into something else? Why??? " (Note how he

>didn't say, " And I still love you...we have something here...let's

>not lose it. Wait for me. " ) The thing is, I'm still vulnerable to

>him, I know I am. Pam knows I am.

>

>Oy.

>

>How much weight can I lose?!?!?! I tried that stupid weightloss

>calculator, and it looks like a total of 48 lbs. if I'm lucky. Oy.

>

>Robynn

>

July 17, 2005

I think we all feel and think like this, i should be proud of my weight, but then when i read gina and pam who had surgery only shortly before me are in the 160's i feel like i am doing something wrong, you doubt yourself beat yourself up, its just plain silly, i weighed more going in than they did, and everyone has their own pace, but its just human nature i think to feel this way.........................

colleenRose wrote:

Robynn, remember this is not a race. I have to keep telling myself that too. I'm 8 weeks out and only lost 22.5 lbs. I started out at 215. It is hard to predict what one will lose everyone is different. By all means do not compare yourself to others you will be disappointed. I myself am proof of that. I've been at the same weight now for 8 days. Any way don't stress on the weight when its ready and you are doing the right stuff it will just fall off of you... We didn't gain the weight overnight and we have great expectations to lose it overnight since we did our surg. Keep your head high whatever you weigh when your french man comes home I'm sure he'll love you either way... And then the next time you see him you will be even smaller than this time.

RoseRobynn wrote:

Hey guys...OK, so here's the thing. Perspective, I need perspective. In any event, I am at 207 today. It has been five and a half weeks since my surgery. I weighed in at 235.5 the day of the surgery. SO, that's 28.5 lbs...about an average of five a week. So why do I feel like this is going SLOWLY? I read the obesityhelp.com before and after things, and it seems like other people are losing so much faster than I am. And yes, I know that part of it is that many of these folks are only doing liquid protein beforehand...and didn't have to lose weight beforehand, so they are losing more water weight initially. I know that, and yet I worry.To add bizarro fuel to my neurosis...so the other Frenchy, the one that broke my heart (Olivier)...called me again. Twice in

the last few weeks. He seems to be jealous of , although in his standard non-committal way, he just keeps telling me to "slow down" and "take your time"...so, he could just be a "concerned friend". Who knows? HOWEVER, when I mentioned that was coming to see me in October...he suddenly tells me that HE is coming in September, the month before.ANd not only did he SAY that...he actually has a ticket! Oy. His buddy is coming, too...and they are going to be in Las vegas for part of that time...maybe his friend will be in LV for the whole time, I don't know...but he hasn't asked to stay with me. For all I know, he's ASSUMING. Or, shoot...maybe he isn't going to even see me, although I doubt it. His, "Well I'm coming in September" was immediately, and I mean immediately following my announcement that is coming in October. And in fact, he booked his flight just

moments after our telephone conversation. ARGHHHHHH. is sweet, romantic, handsome, talented, intelligent, seemingly hot hot hot and crazy madly in love with me. Olivier is even more handsome, sweet, smart and funny...tender...but not terribly romantic, at least not towards me, has been somewhat resistant in some ways, afraid of "us" afraid to be vulnerable (for incredibly good reasons: we met while we were both married...and he's been through the ringer in the last few years: sister committed suicide, best friend died of cancer, other best friend killed in car crash, mom diagnosed with cancer, father had massive heart attack, he was mugged...oh and all on top of the fact that he was hit by a drunk driver while on a motorcycle a couple of years before I met him. That left him with a paralyzed arm, in a coma for a year, a rehab hospital for the year after that while he learned to walk and talk

again...and stripped his career away from him. Oh, and did I mention he went through a divorce, too.) So, he's got a lot of fear, and may be permanently damaged as a result of all of this horror.But I loved him, madly, for four and a half years. Madly. Like I've never loved anyone before. And so...I kinda of HAVE to see him...I don't think I could handle NOT seeing him...but I don't want him to turn my head...and I think he ruined everything when he told me he wasn't attracted to me (which I knew was utter crap, but I also knew he was obviously wanting to push me away, so I took the hint and left.) He feels inadequate because of the finances, because I'm a successful attorney, blah blah blah...he has nothing to offer, etc...blah blah blah. (Although his race horse has been winning lately, and things are turning around for him. Yes, he owns a race horse. Don't

ask.)oy.Anyway...so the thing is...whether we get together or not (I doubt it...it would be very hard for him to compete with , who appears to be healthy and is totally crazy about me) I want to look great. And I know I'm looking better already. So here's the think...I have a bit more than six weeks (I think) until Olivier descends. Darn it!! I want to lose another 25 lbs. in the next six weeks. Am I dreaming???Oy. Can I just say...oy?!?!?! He drives me insane...but he said, "You know you still love me, Robynn...you have to still love me. Why are you rushing into something else? Why???" (Note how he didn't say, "And I still love you...we have something here...let's not lose it. Wait for me.") The thing is, I'm still vulnerable to him, I know I am. Pam knows I am.Oy.How much weight can I lose?!?!?! I tried that stupid

weightloss calculator, and it looks like a total of 48 lbs. if I'm lucky. Oy.Robynn

__________________________________________________

July 17, 2005

I think we all feel and think like this, i should be proud of my weight, but then when i read gina and pam who had surgery only shortly before me are in the 160's i feel like i am doing something wrong, you doubt yourself beat yourself up, its just plain silly, i weighed more going in than they did, and everyone has their own pace, but its just human nature i think to feel this way.........................

colleenRose wrote:

Robynn, remember this is not a race. I have to keep telling myself that too. I'm 8 weeks out and only lost 22.5 lbs. I started out at 215. It is hard to predict what one will lose everyone is different. By all means do not compare yourself to others you will be disappointed. I myself am proof of that. I've been at the same weight now for 8 days. Any way don't stress on the weight when its ready and you are doing the right stuff it will just fall off of you... We didn't gain the weight overnight and we have great expectations to lose it overnight since we did our surg. Keep your head high whatever you weigh when your french man comes home I'm sure he'll love you either way... And then the next time you see him you will be even smaller than this time.

RoseRobynn wrote:

Hey guys...OK, so here's the thing. Perspective, I need perspective. In any event, I am at 207 today. It has been five and a half weeks since my surgery. I weighed in at 235.5 the day of the surgery. SO, that's 28.5 lbs...about an average of five a week. So why do I feel like this is going SLOWLY? I read the obesityhelp.com before and after things, and it seems like other people are losing so much faster than I am. And yes, I know that part of it is that many of these folks are only doing liquid protein beforehand...and didn't have to lose weight beforehand, so they are losing more water weight initially. I know that, and yet I worry.To add bizarro fuel to my neurosis...so the other Frenchy, the one that broke my heart (Olivier)...called me again. Twice in

the last few weeks. He seems to be jealous of , although in his standard non-committal way, he just keeps telling me to "slow down" and "take your time"...so, he could just be a "concerned friend". Who knows? HOWEVER, when I mentioned that was coming to see me in October...he suddenly tells me that HE is coming in September, the month before.ANd not only did he SAY that...he actually has a ticket! Oy. His buddy is coming, too...and they are going to be in Las vegas for part of that time...maybe his friend will be in LV for the whole time, I don't know...but he hasn't asked to stay with me. For all I know, he's ASSUMING. Or, shoot...maybe he isn't going to even see me, although I doubt it. His, "Well I'm coming in September" was immediately, and I mean immediately following my announcement that is coming in October. And in fact, he booked his flight just

moments after our telephone conversation. ARGHHHHHH. is sweet, romantic, handsome, talented, intelligent, seemingly hot hot hot and crazy madly in love with me. Olivier is even more handsome, sweet, smart and funny...tender...but not terribly romantic, at least not towards me, has been somewhat resistant in some ways, afraid of "us" afraid to be vulnerable (for incredibly good reasons: we met while we were both married...and he's been through the ringer in the last few years: sister committed suicide, best friend died of cancer, other best friend killed in car crash, mom diagnosed with cancer, father had massive heart attack, he was mugged...oh and all on top of the fact that he was hit by a drunk driver while on a motorcycle a couple of years before I met him. That left him with a paralyzed arm, in a coma for a year, a rehab hospital for the year after that while he learned to walk and talk

again...and stripped his career away from him. Oh, and did I mention he went through a divorce, too.) So, he's got a lot of fear, and may be permanently damaged as a result of all of this horror.But I loved him, madly, for four and a half years. Madly. Like I've never loved anyone before. And so...I kinda of HAVE to see him...I don't think I could handle NOT seeing him...but I don't want him to turn my head...and I think he ruined everything when he told me he wasn't attracted to me (which I knew was utter crap, but I also knew he was obviously wanting to push me away, so I took the hint and left.) He feels inadequate because of the finances, because I'm a successful attorney, blah blah blah...he has nothing to offer, etc...blah blah blah. (Although his race horse has been winning lately, and things are turning around for him. Yes, he owns a race horse. Don't

ask.)oy.Anyway...so the thing is...whether we get together or not (I doubt it...it would be very hard for him to compete with , who appears to be healthy and is totally crazy about me) I want to look great. And I know I'm looking better already. So here's the think...I have a bit more than six weeks (I think) until Olivier descends. Darn it!! I want to lose another 25 lbs. in the next six weeks. Am I dreaming???Oy. Can I just say...oy?!?!?! He drives me insane...but he said, "You know you still love me, Robynn...you have to still love me. Why are you rushing into something else? Why???" (Note how he didn't say, "And I still love you...we have something here...let's not lose it. Wait for me.") The thing is, I'm still vulnerable to him, I know I am. Pam knows I am.Oy.How much weight can I lose?!?!?! I tried that stupid

weightloss calculator, and it looks like a total of 48 lbs. if I'm lucky. Oy.Robynn

__________________________________________________

July 17, 2005

I think we all feel and think like this, i should be proud of my weight, but then when i read gina and pam who had surgery only shortly before me are in the 160's i feel like i am doing something wrong, you doubt yourself beat yourself up, its just plain silly, i weighed more going in than they did, and everyone has their own pace, but its just human nature i think to feel this way.........................

colleenRose wrote:

Robynn, remember this is not a race. I have to keep telling myself that too. I'm 8 weeks out and only lost 22.5 lbs. I started out at 215. It is hard to predict what one will lose everyone is different. By all means do not compare yourself to others you will be disappointed. I myself am proof of that. I've been at the same weight now for 8 days. Any way don't stress on the weight when its ready and you are doing the right stuff it will just fall off of you... We didn't gain the weight overnight and we have great expectations to lose it overnight since we did our surg. Keep your head high whatever you weigh when your french man comes home I'm sure he'll love you either way... And then the next time you see him you will be even smaller than this time.

RoseRobynn wrote:

Hey guys...OK, so here's the thing. Perspective, I need perspective. In any event, I am at 207 today. It has been five and a half weeks since my surgery. I weighed in at 235.5 the day of the surgery. SO, that's 28.5 lbs...about an average of five a week. So why do I feel like this is going SLOWLY? I read the obesityhelp.com before and after things, and it seems like other people are losing so much faster than I am. And yes, I know that part of it is that many of these folks are only doing liquid protein beforehand...and didn't have to lose weight beforehand, so they are losing more water weight initially. I know that, and yet I worry.To add bizarro fuel to my neurosis...so the other Frenchy, the one that broke my heart (Olivier)...called me again. Twice in

the last few weeks. He seems to be jealous of , although in his standard non-committal way, he just keeps telling me to "slow down" and "take your time"...so, he could just be a "concerned friend". Who knows? HOWEVER, when I mentioned that was coming to see me in October...he suddenly tells me that HE is coming in September, the month before.ANd not only did he SAY that...he actually has a ticket! Oy. His buddy is coming, too...and they are going to be in Las vegas for part of that time...maybe his friend will be in LV for the whole time, I don't know...but he hasn't asked to stay with me. For all I know, he's ASSUMING. Or, shoot...maybe he isn't going to even see me, although I doubt it. His, "Well I'm coming in September" was immediately, and I mean immediately following my announcement that is coming in October. And in fact, he booked his flight just

moments after our telephone conversation. ARGHHHHHH. is sweet, romantic, handsome, talented, intelligent, seemingly hot hot hot and crazy madly in love with me. Olivier is even more handsome, sweet, smart and funny...tender...but not terribly romantic, at least not towards me, has been somewhat resistant in some ways, afraid of "us" afraid to be vulnerable (for incredibly good reasons: we met while we were both married...and he's been through the ringer in the last few years: sister committed suicide, best friend died of cancer, other best friend killed in car crash, mom diagnosed with cancer, father had massive heart attack, he was mugged...oh and all on top of the fact that he was hit by a drunk driver while on a motorcycle a couple of years before I met him. That left him with a paralyzed arm, in a coma for a year, a rehab hospital for the year after that while he learned to walk and talk

again...and stripped his career away from him. Oh, and did I mention he went through a divorce, too.) So, he's got a lot of fear, and may be permanently damaged as a result of all of this horror.But I loved him, madly, for four and a half years. Madly. Like I've never loved anyone before. And so...I kinda of HAVE to see him...I don't think I could handle NOT seeing him...but I don't want him to turn my head...and I think he ruined everything when he told me he wasn't attracted to me (which I knew was utter crap, but I also knew he was obviously wanting to push me away, so I took the hint and left.) He feels inadequate because of the finances, because I'm a successful attorney, blah blah blah...he has nothing to offer, etc...blah blah blah. (Although his race horse has been winning lately, and things are turning around for him. Yes, he owns a race horse. Don't

ask.)oy.Anyway...so the thing is...whether we get together or not (I doubt it...it would be very hard for him to compete with , who appears to be healthy and is totally crazy about me) I want to look great. And I know I'm looking better already. So here's the think...I have a bit more than six weeks (I think) until Olivier descends. Darn it!! I want to lose another 25 lbs. in the next six weeks. Am I dreaming???Oy. Can I just say...oy?!?!?! He drives me insane...but he said, "You know you still love me, Robynn...you have to still love me. Why are you rushing into something else? Why???" (Note how he didn't say, "And I still love you...we have something here...let's not lose it. Wait for me.") The thing is, I'm still vulnerable to him, I know I am. Pam knows I am.Oy.How much weight can I lose?!?!?! I tried that stupid

weightloss calculator, and it looks like a total of 48 lbs. if I'm lucky. Oy.Robynn

__________________________________________________

July 17, 2005

Robynn

thats a hard one, I dont think your going to lose as much as you are hoping by the time you are hoping but being conscience of it all and not slippinng into carbs and doing protein first and you are a great physical person, i think that is all you can do..............and dont let yourself stress over it OK ? I am rooting for you, but be wise and healthy about what you do !

ColleenRobynn wrote:

Hey guys...OK, so here's the thing. Perspective, I need perspective. In any event, I am at 207 today. It has been five and a half weeks since my surgery. I weighed in at 235.5 the day of the surgery. SO, that's 28.5 lbs...about an average of five a week. So why do I feel like this is going SLOWLY? I read the obesityhelp.com before and after things, and it seems like other people are losing so much faster than I am. And yes, I know that part of it is that many of these folks are only doing liquid protein beforehand...and didn't have to lose weight beforehand, so they are losing more water weight initially. I know that, and yet I worry.To add bizarro fuel to my neurosis...so the other Frenchy, the one that broke my heart (Olivier)...called me again. Twice in the last few weeks. He seems to be jealous of , although

in his standard non-committal way, he just keeps telling me to "slow down" and "take your time"...so, he could just be a "concerned friend". Who knows? HOWEVER, when I mentioned that was coming to see me in October...he suddenly tells me that HE is coming in September, the month before.ANd not only did he SAY that...he actually has a ticket! Oy. His buddy is coming, too...and they are going to be in Las vegas for part of that time...maybe his friend will be in LV for the whole time, I don't know...but he hasn't asked to stay with me. For all I know, he's ASSUMING. Or, shoot...maybe he isn't going to even see me, although I doubt it. His, "Well I'm coming in September" was immediately, and I mean immediately following my announcement that is coming in October. And in fact, he booked his flight just moments after our telephone conversation. ARGHHHHHH. is sweet, romantic, handsome, talented, intelligent,

seemingly hot hot hot and crazy madly in love with me. Olivier is even more handsome, sweet, smart and funny...tender...but not terribly romantic, at least not towards me, has been somewhat resistant in some ways, afraid of "us" afraid to be vulnerable (for incredibly good reasons: we met while we were both married...and he's been through the ringer in the last few years: sister committed suicide, best friend died of cancer, other best friend killed in car crash, mom diagnosed with cancer, father had massive heart attack, he was mugged...oh and all on top of the fact that he was hit by a drunk driver while on a motorcycle a couple of years before I met him. That left him with a paralyzed arm, in a coma for a year, a rehab hospital for the year after that while he learned to walk and talk again...and stripped his career away from him. Oh, and did I mention he went through a divorce, too.) So, he's got a lot of fear, and may

be permanently damaged as a result of all of this horror.But I loved him, madly, for four and a half years. Madly. Like I've never loved anyone before. And so...I kinda of HAVE to see him...I don't think I could handle NOT seeing him...but I don't want him to turn my head...and I think he ruined everything when he told me he wasn't attracted to me (which I knew was utter crap, but I also knew he was obviously wanting to push me away, so I took the hint and left.) He feels inadequate because of the finances, because I'm a successful attorney, blah blah blah...he has nothing to offer, etc...blah blah blah. (Although his race horse has been winning lately, and things are turning around for him. Yes, he owns a race horse. Don't ask.)oy.Anyway...so the thing is...whether we get together or not (I doubt it...it would be very hard for him to compete with , who appears to be healthy and is totally crazy

about me) I want to look great. And I know I'm looking better already. So here's the think...I have a bit more than six weeks (I think) until Olivier descends. Darn it!! I want to lose another 25 lbs. in the next six weeks. Am I dreaming???Oy. Can I just say...oy?!?!?! He drives me insane...but he said, "You know you still love me, Robynn...you have to still love me. Why are you rushing into something else? Why???" (Note how he didn't say, "And I still love you...we have something here...let's not lose it. Wait for me.") The thing is, I'm still vulnerable to him, I know I am. Pam knows I am.Oy.How much weight can I lose?!?!?! I tried that stupid weightloss calculator, and it looks like a total of 48 lbs. if I'm lucky. Oy.Robynn

July 17, 2005

Alright you two, do I have to drive up there and swat you? First of all,

no it is NOT a race! Did you really have the surgery just to lose

weight, or did you do so to get healthy, and live a better life? What

difference does it really make if you lose the weight in six months, or

a year?

Now then, the two of you are at right about the right period of time for

Hibernation Syndrome. I have just uploaded a file about it. Yes, it's a

pain in the @$$, and it can be even worse when some surgeons don't

believe in it. There seems to be an attitude that if you aren't losing

weight, you're doing something wrong. Well, sometimes it's true, but

sometimes it's not! We did NOT gain the weight at a steady rate, and it

is unrealistic to expect to lose it at a steady rate. Relax, do what you

should, make sure your body is getting lots of good nutrition, and did I

say RELAX already?!?

I know it can be hard. I was there myself about two years ago. Do what

you should, give your body time to figure out what's going on, and

you'll be fine!

--

Eleanor Oster

eleanor@... (personal address)

www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

San , CA

Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

~5'9 " tall

05/09/2003 319 Orientation

07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

Current 150-155 Goal until plastics?

July 18, 2005

Thanks, LaWanda, Colleen, Rose, et al...I realize that the stupid deadlines are stupid...and I should chill and lt my body do whatever it will. You are all right, it's not a race, all bodies are different...

And Lawanda...there may be some truth to what you are sayaing...I'll have to ponder more....

Thanks to all of you,

RobynnLaWanda Ezell wrote:

Robin, I first want to address your weight loss. I had to laugh when you said that you are losing slowly, you're not and the only reason you think you are is because of these deadlines you keep putting on yourself. I am losing slowly, at a little less than three pounds a week, and I know why I am. I am not nearly as athletic as you are. You should remember too that a lot of people, on the boards, are probably bigger than you were going in, and so they are losing more quickly. The way you are losing, sounds like you will make it losing the 25 pounds in six weeks, but there might be a plateau between now and then, and the hibernation that most seem to go through.On to the next thing, Both things that Olivier said to you--the thing about you still loving him and the thing about you moving too quickly--are

both things with which I tend to agree. Please try to look inside yourself, if you haven't already done that, and determine just what your motives are. Try to take time for yourself, to know just what you're going through, and see whoever when you feel confident you know that. A case could be made, and I'm sure you know this, that you were rejected by one handsome Frenchman so you found another handsome Frenchman, to love you, who was even better in some ways. Do you really want to fall into the trap, if this is what you're doing, of having a relationship with someone on the rebound? Anyway enough of my rambling for now, I know what a fever you must be in now! LaWanda At 09:37 AM 7/17/05, you wrote:>Hey guys...>>OK, so here's the thing. Perspective, I need perspective. In any>event, I am at 207 today. It has been five and a half weeks since

my>surgery. I weighed in at 235.5 the day of the surgery. SO, that's>28.5 lbs...about an average of five a week. So why do I feel like>this is going SLOWLY?>>I read the obesityhelp.com before and after things, and it seems like>other people are losing so much faster than I am. And yes, I know>that part of it is that many of these folks are only doing liquid>protein beforehand...and didn't have to lose weight beforehand, so>they are losing more water weight initially. I know that, and yet I>worry.>>To add bizarro fuel to my neurosis...so the other Frenchy, the one>that broke my heart (Olivier)...called me again. Twice in the last>few weeks. He seems to be jealous of , although in his standard>non-committal way, he just keeps telling me to "slow down" and "take>your time"...so, he could just be a "concerned friend". Who

knows?>HOWEVER, when I mentioned that was coming to see me in>October...he suddenly tells me that HE is coming in September, the>month before.>>ANd not only did he SAY that...he actually has a ticket! Oy. His>buddy is coming, too...and they are going to be in Las vegas for part>of that time...maybe his friend will be in LV for the whole time, I>don't know...but he hasn't asked to stay with me. For all I know,>he's ASSUMING. Or, shoot...maybe he isn't going to even see me,>although I doubt it. His, "Well I'm coming in September" was>immediately, and I mean immediately following my announcement that> is coming in October. And in fact, he booked his flight just>moments after our telephone conversation.>>ARGHHHHHH. is sweet, romantic, handsome, talented, intelligent,>seemingly hot hot hot and crazy madly in love with

me. Olivier is>even more handsome, sweet, smart and funny...tender...but not>terribly romantic, at least not towards me, has been somewhat>resistant in some ways, afraid of "us" afraid to be vulnerable (for>incredibly good reasons: we met while we were both married...and>he's been through the ringer in the last few years: sister committed>suicide, best friend died of cancer, other best friend killed in car>crash, mom diagnosed with cancer, father had massive heart attack, he>was mugged...oh and all on top of the fact that he was hit by a drunk>driver while on a motorcycle a couple of years before I met him.>That left him with a paralyzed arm, in a coma for a year, a rehab>hospital for the year after that while he learned to walk and talk>again...and stripped his career away from him. Oh, and did I mention>he went through a divorce, too.) So, he's got a lot of fear, and

may>be permanently damaged as a result of all of this horror.>>But I loved him, madly, for four and a half years. Madly. Like I've>never loved anyone before.>>And so...I kinda of HAVE to see him...I don't think I could handle>NOT seeing him...but I don't want him to turn my head...and I think>he ruined everything when he told me he wasn't attracted to me (which>I knew was utter crap, but I also knew he was obviously wanting to>push me away, so I took the hint and left.) He feels inadequate>because of the finances, because I'm a successful attorney, blah blah>blah...he has nothing to offer, etc...blah blah blah. (Although his>race horse has been winning lately, and things are turning around for>him. Yes, he owns a race horse. Don't ask.)>>oy.>>Anyway...so the thing is...whether we get together or not (I doubt>it...it

would be very hard for him to compete with , who appears>to be healthy and is totally crazy about me) I want to look great.>And I know I'm looking better already. So here's the think...I have>a bit more than six weeks (I think) until Olivier descends. Darn>it!! I want to lose another 25 lbs. in the next six weeks. Am I>dreaming???>>Oy. Can I just say...oy?!?!?! He drives me insane...but he>said, "You know you still love me, Robynn...you have to still love>me. Why are you rushing into something else? Why???" (Note how he>didn't say, "And I still love you...we have something here...let's>not lose it. Wait for me.") The thing is, I'm still vulnerable to>him, I know I am. Pam knows I am.>>Oy.>>How much weight can I lose?!?!?! I tried that stupid weightloss>calculator, and it looks like a total

of 48 lbs. if I'm lucky. Oy.>>Robynn>>>>>>>

July 18, 2005

Thanks, LaWanda, Colleen, Rose, et al...I realize that the stupid deadlines are stupid...and I should chill and lt my body do whatever it will. You are all right, it's not a race, all bodies are different...

And Lawanda...there may be some truth to what you are sayaing...I'll have to ponder more....

Thanks to all of you,

RobynnLaWanda Ezell wrote:

Robin, I first want to address your weight loss. I had to laugh when you said that you are losing slowly, you're not and the only reason you think you are is because of these deadlines you keep putting on yourself. I am losing slowly, at a little less than three pounds a week, and I know why I am. I am not nearly as athletic as you are. You should remember too that a lot of people, on the boards, are probably bigger than you were going in, and so they are losing more quickly. The way you are losing, sounds like you will make it losing the 25 pounds in six weeks, but there might be a plateau between now and then, and the hibernation that most seem to go through.On to the next thing, Both things that Olivier said to you--the thing about you still loving him and the thing about you moving too quickly--are

both things with which I tend to agree. Please try to look inside yourself, if you haven't already done that, and determine just what your motives are. Try to take time for yourself, to know just what you're going through, and see whoever when you feel confident you know that. A case could be made, and I'm sure you know this, that you were rejected by one handsome Frenchman so you found another handsome Frenchman, to love you, who was even better in some ways. Do you really want to fall into the trap, if this is what you're doing, of having a relationship with someone on the rebound? Anyway enough of my rambling for now, I know what a fever you must be in now! LaWanda At 09:37 AM 7/17/05, you wrote:>Hey guys...>>OK, so here's the thing. Perspective, I need perspective. In any>event, I am at 207 today. It has been five and a half weeks since

my>surgery. I weighed in at 235.5 the day of the surgery. SO, that's>28.5 lbs...about an average of five a week. So why do I feel like>this is going SLOWLY?>>I read the obesityhelp.com before and after things, and it seems like>other people are losing so much faster than I am. And yes, I know>that part of it is that many of these folks are only doing liquid>protein beforehand...and didn't have to lose weight beforehand, so>they are losing more water weight initially. I know that, and yet I>worry.>>To add bizarro fuel to my neurosis...so the other Frenchy, the one>that broke my heart (Olivier)...called me again. Twice in the last>few weeks. He seems to be jealous of , although in his standard>non-committal way, he just keeps telling me to "slow down" and "take>your time"...so, he could just be a "concerned friend". Who

knows?>HOWEVER, when I mentioned that was coming to see me in>October...he suddenly tells me that HE is coming in September, the>month before.>>ANd not only did he SAY that...he actually has a ticket! Oy. His>buddy is coming, too...and they are going to be in Las vegas for part>of that time...maybe his friend will be in LV for the whole time, I>don't know...but he hasn't asked to stay with me. For all I know,>he's ASSUMING. Or, shoot...maybe he isn't going to even see me,>although I doubt it. His, "Well I'm coming in September" was>immediately, and I mean immediately following my announcement that> is coming in October. And in fact, he booked his flight just>moments after our telephone conversation.>>ARGHHHHHH. is sweet, romantic, handsome, talented, intelligent,>seemingly hot hot hot and crazy madly in love with

me. Olivier is>even more handsome, sweet, smart and funny...tender...but not>terribly romantic, at least not towards me, has been somewhat>resistant in some ways, afraid of "us" afraid to be vulnerable (for>incredibly good reasons: we met while we were both married...and>he's been through the ringer in the last few years: sister committed>suicide, best friend died of cancer, other best friend killed in car>crash, mom diagnosed with cancer, father had massive heart attack, he>was mugged...oh and all on top of the fact that he was hit by a drunk>driver while on a motorcycle a couple of years before I met him.>That left him with a paralyzed arm, in a coma for a year, a rehab>hospital for the year after that while he learned to walk and talk>again...and stripped his career away from him. Oh, and did I mention>he went through a divorce, too.) So, he's got a lot of fear, and

may>be permanently damaged as a result of all of this horror.>>But I loved him, madly, for four and a half years. Madly. Like I've>never loved anyone before.>>And so...I kinda of HAVE to see him...I don't think I could handle>NOT seeing him...but I don't want him to turn my head...and I think>he ruined everything when he told me he wasn't attracted to me (which>I knew was utter crap, but I also knew he was obviously wanting to>push me away, so I took the hint and left.) He feels inadequate>because of the finances, because I'm a successful attorney, blah blah>blah...he has nothing to offer, etc...blah blah blah. (Although his>race horse has been winning lately, and things are turning around for>him. Yes, he owns a race horse. Don't ask.)>>oy.>>Anyway...so the thing is...whether we get together or not (I doubt>it...it

would be very hard for him to compete with , who appears>to be healthy and is totally crazy about me) I want to look great.>And I know I'm looking better already. So here's the think...I have>a bit more than six weeks (I think) until Olivier descends. Darn>it!! I want to lose another 25 lbs. in the next six weeks. Am I>dreaming???>>Oy. Can I just say...oy?!?!?! He drives me insane...but he>said, "You know you still love me, Robynn...you have to still love>me. Why are you rushing into something else? Why???" (Note how he>didn't say, "And I still love you...we have something here...let's>not lose it. Wait for me.") The thing is, I'm still vulnerable to>him, I know I am. Pam knows I am.>>Oy.>>How much weight can I lose?!?!?! I tried that stupid weightloss>calculator, and it looks like a total

of 48 lbs. if I'm lucky. Oy.>>Robynn>>>>>>>

July 18, 2005

Hey Robynn,

You've read from others about not focusing on your weight loss...so

stop it! : )

And as LaWanda said, go slow on the men too. Especially Olivier. You

have written too much about him that shows red flags to me. This last

phone call - and his subsequent actions - show that he is not

altogether thinking with his head. Even when dealing with matters of

the heart, you still need to think with your head. The last thing you

need right now is emotional turmoil...any more than you are already

going through while recovering from gbs.

may turn out okay, but stay grounded there as well.

my two cents...

July 18, 2005

Hey Robynn,

You've read from others about not focusing on your weight loss...so

stop it! : )

And as LaWanda said, go slow on the men too. Especially Olivier. You

have written too much about him that shows red flags to me. This last

phone call - and his subsequent actions - show that he is not

altogether thinking with his head. Even when dealing with matters of

the heart, you still need to think with your head. The last thing you

need right now is emotional turmoil...any more than you are already

going through while recovering from gbs.

may turn out okay, but stay grounded there as well.

my two cents...

July 18, 2005

Thanks, . Oy. You are right. wrote:

Hey Robynn,You've read from others about not focusing on your weight loss...so stop it! : )And as LaWanda said, go slow on the men too. Especially Olivier. You have written too much about him that shows red flags to me. This last phone call - and his subsequent actions - show that he is not altogether thinking with his head. Even when dealing with matters of the heart, you still need to think with your head. The last thing you need right now is emotional turmoil...any more than you are already going through while recovering from gbs. may turn out okay, but stay grounded there as well.my two cents...

July 18, 2005

Thanks, . Oy. You are right. wrote:

Hey Robynn,You've read from others about not focusing on your weight loss...so stop it! : )And as LaWanda said, go slow on the men too. Especially Olivier. You have written too much about him that shows red flags to me. This last phone call - and his subsequent actions - show that he is not altogether thinking with his head. Even when dealing with matters of the heart, you still need to think with your head. The last thing you need right now is emotional turmoil...any more than you are already going through while recovering from gbs. may turn out okay, but stay grounded there as well.my two cents...

July 18, 2005

Thanks, . Oy. You are right. wrote:

Hey Robynn,You've read from others about not focusing on your weight loss...so stop it! : )And as LaWanda said, go slow on the men too. Especially Olivier. You have written too much about him that shows red flags to me. This last phone call - and his subsequent actions - show that he is not altogether thinking with his head. Even when dealing with matters of the heart, you still need to think with your head. The last thing you need right now is emotional turmoil...any more than you are already going through while recovering from gbs. may turn out okay, but stay grounded there as well.my two cents...

July 18, 2005

Best of luck with everything, I won't be around to hear how it all goes,

but be sure that you have my most positive thoughts and

prayers. LaWanda At 11:23 PM 7/17/05, you wrote:

>Thanks, LaWanda, Colleen, Rose, et al...I realize that the stupid

>deadlines are stupid...and I should chill and lt my body do whatever it

>will. You are all right, it's not a race, all bodies are different...

>

>And Lawanda...there may be some truth to what you are sayaing...I'll have

>to ponder more....

>

>Thanks to all of you,

>Robynn

>

>LaWanda Ezell konfuzed@...> wrote:

>Robin, I first want to address your weight loss. I had to laugh when you

>said that you are losing slowly, you're not and the only reason you think

>you are is because of these deadlines you keep putting on yourself. I am

>losing slowly, at a little less than three pounds a week, and I know why I

>am. I am not nearly as athletic as you are. You should remember too that

>a lot of people, on the boards, are probably bigger than you were going in,

>and so they are losing more quickly. The way you are losing, sounds like

>you will make it losing the 25 pounds in six weeks, but there might be a

>plateau between now and then, and the hibernation that most seem to go

>through.

>

>On to the next thing, Both things that Olivier said to you--the thing about

>you still loving him and the thing about you moving too quickly--are both

>things with which I tend to agree. Please try to look inside yourself, if

>you haven't already done that, and determine just what your motives

>are. Try to take time for yourself, to know just what you're going

>through, and see whoever when you feel confident you know that. A case

>could be made, and I'm sure you know this, that you were rejected by one

>handsome Frenchman so you found another handsome Frenchman, to love you,

>who was even better in some ways. Do you really want to fall into the

>trap, if this is what you're doing, of having a relationship with someone

>on the rebound? Anyway enough of my rambling for now, I know what a fever

>you must be in now! LaWanda At 09:37 AM 7/17/05, you wrote:

> >Hey guys...

> >

> >OK, so here's the thing. Perspective, I need perspective. In any

> >event, I am at 207 today. It has been five and a half weeks since my

> >surgery. I weighed in at 235.5 the day of the surgery. SO, that's

> >28.5 lbs...about an average of five a week. So why do I feel like

> >this is going SLOWLY?

> >

> >I read the obesityhelp.com before and after things, and it seems like

> >other people are losing so much faster than I am. And yes, I know

> >that part of it is that many of these folks are only doing liquid

> >protein beforehand...and didn't have to lose weight beforehand, so

> >they are losing more water weight initially. I know that, and yet I

> >worry.

> >

> >To add bizarro fuel to my neurosis...so the other Frenchy, the one

> >that broke my heart (Olivier)...called me again. Twice in the last

> >few weeks. He seems to be jealous of , although in his standard

> >non-committal way, he just keeps telling me to " slow down " and " take

> >your time " ...so, he could just be a " concerned friend " . Who knows?

> >HOWEVER, when I mentioned that was coming to see me in

> >October...he suddenly tells me that HE is coming in September, the

> >month before.

> >

> >ANd not only did he SAY that...he actually has a ticket! Oy. His

> >buddy is coming, too...and they are going to be in Las vegas for part

> >of that time...maybe his friend will be in LV for the whole time, I

> >don't know...but he hasn't asked to stay with me. For all I know,

> >he's ASSUMING. Or, shoot...maybe he isn't going to even see me,

> >although I doubt it. His, " Well I'm coming in September " was

> >immediately, and I mean immediately following my announcement that

> > is coming in October. And in fact, he booked his flight just

> >moments after our telephone conversation.

> >

> >ARGHHHHHH. is sweet, romantic, handsome, talented, intelligent,

> >seemingly hot hot hot and crazy madly in love with me. Olivier is

> >even more handsome, sweet, smart and funny...tender...but not

> >terribly romantic, at least not towards me, has been somewhat

> >resistant in some ways, afraid of " us " afraid to be vulnerable (for

> >incredibly good reasons: we met while we were both married...and

> >he's been through the ringer in the last few years: sister committed

> >suicide, best friend died of cancer, other best friend killed in car

> >crash, mom diagnosed with cancer, father had massive heart attack, he

> >was mugged...oh and all on top of the fact that he was hit by a drunk

> >driver while on a motorcycle a couple of years before I met him.

> >That left him with a paralyzed arm, in a coma for a year, a rehab

> >hospital for the year after that while he learned to walk and talk

> >again...and stripped his career away from him. Oh, and did I mention

> >he went through a divorce, too.) So, he's got a lot of fear, and may

> >be permanently damaged as a result of all of this horror.

> >

> >But I loved him, madly, for four and a half years. Madly. Like I've

> >never loved anyone before.

> >

> >And so...I kinda of HAVE to see him...I don't think I could handle

> >NOT seeing him...but I don't want him to turn my head...and I think

> >he ruined everything when he told me he wasn't attracted to me (which

> >I knew was utter crap, but I also knew he was obviously wanting to

> >push me away, so I took the hint and left.) He feels inadequate

> >because of the finances, because I'm a successful attorney, blah blah

> >blah...he has nothing to offer, etc...blah blah blah. (Although his

> >race horse has been winning lately, and things are turning around for

> >him. Yes, he owns a race horse. Don't ask.)

> >

> >oy.

> >

> >Anyway...so the thing is...whether we get together or not (I doubt

> >it...it would be very hard for him to compete with , who appears

> >to be healthy and is totally crazy about me) I want to look great.

> >And I know I'm looking better already. So here's the think...I have

> >a bit more than six weeks (I think) until Olivier descends. Darn

> >it!! I want to lose another 25 lbs. in the next six weeks. Am I

> >dreaming???

> >

> >Oy. Can I just say...oy?!?!?! He drives me insane...but he

> >said, " You know you still love me, Robynn...you have to still love

> >me. Why are you rushing into something else? Why??? " (Note how he

> >didn't say, " And I still love you...we have something here...let's

> >not lose it. Wait for me. " ) The thing is, I'm still vulnerable to

> >him, I know I am. Pam knows I am.

> >

> >Oy.

> >

> >How much weight can I lose?!?!?! I tried that stupid weightloss

> >calculator, and it looks like a total of 48 lbs. if I'm lucky. Oy.

> >

> >Robynn

> >

July 18, 2005