Re: How does your significant other deal with this diet/condition?

[Guest guest]

Hi . I've been married for about 24 years. I've always had some food restrictions, starting with lactose intolerance, then allergies to many foods, but I could usually find a few restaurants that offered foods I could eat. Because I also have multiple chemical sensitivities (MCS), with particularly strong reactions to fragrances, laundry product residues, and dry cleaning chemicals, I wasn't going out to restaurants very much anyway for the last several years. Instead, we would order take-out from our favourite restaurants, then eat the foods at home, in our safe environment.

Actually, my MCS has probably had a larger impact on our social life. For example I no longer enjoy going to live theatre or movies, because the other people in the audience tend to wear lots of fragrances, and I have to keep my half-face respirator on for the duration of the show. Instead, we rent DVD's of movies, and my husband goes to live theatre shows with other family members.

My husband doesn't have digestive problems, so he can eat anything. At home, he shares in the preparation and consumption of SCD-legal foods, but he also eats SCD-illegal foods as well as foods I am allergic to. I don't mind -- in my view, these aren't foods, since I can't eat them.

Since starting on SCD 1.5 years ago, I have not yet found any restaurants serving foods I can eat. When my husband and I get together with family for meals at their homes, I bring along foods I/we have made, that I can eat. The baked SCD treats are especially popular. When the family goes out to restaurants, I stay home.

For sandwiches, I bake Lois Lang Luscious Bread, using pecan "flour." Are you able to use ground pecans yet? This bread keeps well in the fridge as long as necessary, and tastes better than any bread I have ever purchased. When I take a sandwich along on an outing, I still have the challenge of finding a fragrance-free space where I can remove my respirator, so that I can eat.

Assuming that you don't have MCS, your girlfriend faces a lot fewer restrictions than my husband does. My husband doesn't complain. He is happy about the improvements in my health as a result of SCD, particularly my transition from obesity to a healthy weight.

Hope this helps.

Ellen in Toronto, Canada

T wrote in btvc-scd

Sent: Wednesday, September 23, 2009 12:31 PM

For those of you who are married, how does your spouse deal with you being on the diet and eating restrictions? Going out to eat? Ect...

<snip>

[Guest guest]

,

It's a tough situation you are in.

I'm married, no kids.

My husband has always been super supportive of me.. I have had a heck of a time

with CD and it has been a hellacious ride for me.

We used to go out to eat all the time.. Also like going out with friends and

getting cocktails stuff like that.

SCD was a real 360 for our lifestyle.. suddenly, our knee jerk " thing " wasn't

something we could do anymore. I tried in the begining to incorporate SCD into

our lifestyle and it just didn't work for -me- I was just too sick that I really

had to learn to get my hands dirty in the kitchen making all of my food from

scratch, cross contamination etc.

It bummed him out in the begining.. but I was like " This is what I have to do

for myself to get better " and he was ok with that.

Things were a huge deal and a production about what to eat, when to eat (my

eating was so off in the begining I would either be ravenous out of nowhere or

just no appetite there was no middle ground for me)

It was a hard adjustment.. and I would get upset at my husband.. but then I

realized.. wait a second this is a huge adjustment for him too. And he is still

here, supporting me. We eventually removed all illegals out of the house as I

was so sensitive to cross contamination that the household went %100 legal.

Today he has some illegals back in the house and we keep everything separate..

I have no issues whatsoever..

So as hard as it was and the difficulties we had.. he was there, working with

me.

We soon learned food didn't have to be our main focus.

As time went on I started feeling better.. I had more energy- I didn't have to

plot public restrooms on my day outside.. I was pain free..

We started focusing on other things to do. Like going to museums, taking walks

in the park, going to shows, film festivals, concerts..

We have a lot of fun..

These days I am doing much better and can eat out now.

I stay on SCD completely... So we can't share appetizers or dishes but we enjoy

each others company.

I had to learn how to not make such a big deal out of things.

To have a variety of foods ready in my fridge and also have thermouses and a

cold pack so I can take food outside with me.

After a while when the weird either starving or no appetite feeling went away

for me.. I understood that if I had key snacks in my bag along with water I

would be able to manage without making a big deal or having a meltdown.

My husband was so used to my CD that we already had an established understanding

that he should just eat whatever he wants whenever he wants to.

One thing I realized though is to not like expose that I am craving something he

is eating.. I am like " ohh that looks awesome, Enjoy " but not in a way that it

seems I may be jealous.

I am so contented with my SCD food because I have gotten my life back and am

healing. No meds have ever done that for me.

Stay strong.. be creative.. be honest..

It's difficult but you'll figure it out!!

Jodi

[Guest guest]

,

It's a tough situation you are in.

I'm married, no kids.

My husband has always been super supportive of me.. I have had a heck of a time

with CD and it has been a hellacious ride for me.

We used to go out to eat all the time.. Also like going out with friends and

getting cocktails stuff like that.

SCD was a real 360 for our lifestyle.. suddenly, our knee jerk " thing " wasn't

something we could do anymore. I tried in the begining to incorporate SCD into

our lifestyle and it just didn't work for -me- I was just too sick that I really

had to learn to get my hands dirty in the kitchen making all of my food from

scratch, cross contamination etc.

It bummed him out in the begining.. but I was like " This is what I have to do

for myself to get better " and he was ok with that.

Things were a huge deal and a production about what to eat, when to eat (my

eating was so off in the begining I would either be ravenous out of nowhere or

just no appetite there was no middle ground for me)

It was a hard adjustment.. and I would get upset at my husband.. but then I

realized.. wait a second this is a huge adjustment for him too. And he is still

here, supporting me. We eventually removed all illegals out of the house as I

was so sensitive to cross contamination that the household went %100 legal.

Today he has some illegals back in the house and we keep everything separate..

I have no issues whatsoever..

So as hard as it was and the difficulties we had.. he was there, working with

me.

We soon learned food didn't have to be our main focus.

As time went on I started feeling better.. I had more energy- I didn't have to

plot public restrooms on my day outside.. I was pain free..

We started focusing on other things to do. Like going to museums, taking walks

in the park, going to shows, film festivals, concerts..

We have a lot of fun..

These days I am doing much better and can eat out now.

I stay on SCD completely... So we can't share appetizers or dishes but we enjoy

each others company.

I had to learn how to not make such a big deal out of things.

To have a variety of foods ready in my fridge and also have thermouses and a

cold pack so I can take food outside with me.

After a while when the weird either starving or no appetite feeling went away

for me.. I understood that if I had key snacks in my bag along with water I

would be able to manage without making a big deal or having a meltdown.

My husband was so used to my CD that we already had an established understanding

that he should just eat whatever he wants whenever he wants to.

One thing I realized though is to not like expose that I am craving something he

is eating.. I am like " ohh that looks awesome, Enjoy " but not in a way that it

seems I may be jealous.

I am so contented with my SCD food because I have gotten my life back and am

healing. No meds have ever done that for me.

Stay strong.. be creative.. be honest..

It's difficult but you'll figure it out!!

Jodi