What happens when we hurt each other

[Guest guest]

I don't exactly know what to say, I just want to put this out there: Please remember what we came here for: WLS support. Whether or not we agree or vehemently disagree about how we do or don't do our WLS Path, everyone deserves to be treated with respect. I've seen a couple types of situations that put our support connections at risk.Sometimes people lose perspective and say mean or hurtful things. They don't always apologize when they probably should. But retaliating with personal comments or emails about other peoples' families, lives, or personal stuff isn't okay. Never post something on a list that you don't want everyone on all the other lists to read. And remember: If you send an ugly and offensive email to someone privately, there is no law against them " outing' you by publishing it to the larger list. If they don't do this it's only because they're more civilized than you are. Some of us are experiencing new bodies and not good at knowing what to do with new kinds of attention. Dating each other can work, or it can turn out to be a mistake. Whether you're male or female, No means NO. A relationship is not a democracy; it ends when one of the parties says it's over. Stalking, controlling, threatening, or manipulative behavior is not okay. And using the meetings as a place to pick up vulnerable post-ops is just wrong. Occasionally religious differences crop up. Some of us are not religious, or are not main-stream Judeo-Christian, and feel persecuted if we're told to pray or praise god or whatever. Some of us feel persecuted if we are asked to NOT say those things. I don't have an answer, I just know that both sides can feel both hurt and right.I'm saying this because recently I had a conversation with someone about why she wasn't around anymore. Over the past year I've seen more than one friend suffer at the hands

of other support group members, both online and in real-time meetings. Some very wise people have quietly dropped away. This hurts me, and it hurts all of us. Martha