Re: Re: Dr Ren

April 18, 2001

Deb,

I feel a lot of sympathy for what you are having to deal with on a daily basis. I appreciate you sharing your story and increasing our awareness.

April 18, 2001

Deb,

I feel a lot of sympathy for what you are having to deal with on a daily basis. I appreciate you sharing your story and increasing our awareness.

April 18, 2001

Deb,

I feel a lot of sympathy for what you are having to deal with on a daily basis. I appreciate you sharing your story and increasing our awareness.

April 18, 2001

Thank you for confirming my point, . They were not the same procedure, even though they resulted from similar problems.

Kris G Cincinnati, Ohio5'7", 40 years old8/22 - 283 - BMI 44.303/22 - 178 - BMI 27.9ciao to 105 lbs. & 109 inches in 7 monthsOpen BPD/DS 08/22/00Dr. Maguire, Kettering OHHumanaFreedom Plus Planiwillbefit@...

April 18, 2001

Thank you for confirming my point, . They were not the same procedure, even though they resulted from similar problems.

Kris G Cincinnati, Ohio5'7", 40 years old8/22 - 283 - BMI 44.303/22 - 178 - BMI 27.9ciao to 105 lbs. & 109 inches in 7 monthsOpen BPD/DS 08/22/00Dr. Maguire, Kettering OHHumanaFreedom Plus Planiwillbefit@...

April 19, 2001

That's the kind of post you don't want the opposing lawyer to get a hold of.

April 19, 2001

Deb,

I just wish there was something I could do or say to make things better.

::::hugs::::: Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with our

listmates. I know that naturally some people will be defensive and try to

rationalize or explain to try to make sense of it all. Nevertheless, your

voice here is very important, not only regarding the details of your

medical outcome, but how your overall well-being has been affected by

things that happened. Your writings are heartfelt, and I think it's

admirable that you are owning your experience and not letting anyone

minimize it. You're muddling through, and I hope you'll stick with us and

we learn how to best support you.

--- Ciar1@... wrote:

> Dr Ren, the two surgeons that assisted her, NYU and the nurses

> involved are being investigated by the agencies i listed.

> I received a call from an investigator at the misconduct board last

> week, as well as a letter from the hospital board.

> No decision has been rendered, that I have been told will take

> several months.

> Those sites that are listed will not show an investigation, they only

> show when decisions are reached, and even then it depends on the

> action taken if the doctor is listed, as in license suspensions. I

> have been told by the investigator at the medical misconduct board

> that I may never know the action taken, if action is taken, I will be

> apprised of the series of options that the investigation may take,

> that is quite possibly all I will know.

> I really wished that I felt like my original posting,I was 4 days

> post op, still doing meds, still did not have my brain engaged.

> I had asked Ren and others at NYU a series of questions. No answers

> were forthcoming, I then began to get copies of my medical records,

> things didn't add up even more, they still don't.

> I speak from my own personal experience, and will continue to do so.

> What was done to me was wrong, Ren may portray herself as this

> caring, compassionate individual, however my medical records and my

> dealings with her since my discharge from NYU have shown me

> otherwise. Maybe I am just the " lucky " individual to experience the

> Ren that can not even ackowledge that a complication occurred and by

> her own words degrades and negates my body/anatomy and person.

> " I cannot answer many of your questions because their is no answer.

> And unfortunately I am sure that this is unsatisfying, however I

> think you should be incredibly happy that your surgery went extremely

> well. I personally am thrilled with the way things went, because I

> know that you had no complications and that you will lose a great

> deal of wt. Not having your pylorus is not a complication. However, I

> know for a fact that DS/BPD patients are very controlled oriented and

> sometimes obsessed about the details of their anatomy. " "

> Ren, M.D.

> They say that we learn our lessons on each other.

> From " love, medicine and Miracles, by Dr Bernie Siegal, M.D.

> surgeon, " I became aware that, no matter how I'd struggled against

> it, I, too, had adopted this standard defense against pain and

> failure. Because i was hurting, I withdrew when patients needed me

> most. "

> That is not an unfamilar response that caregivers have with patients,

> esp. patients that represent failure and death.

> From " Mortal Lessons " by Dick Selzer M.D. surgeon, " I do not know

> when it was that I understood that it is precisely this hell in which

> we wage our lives that offers us the energy, the possibility to care

> for one another. A surgeon does not slip from his or her mother's

> womb with compassion smeared upon him or her like the drippings of

> birth. It is much later that it comes. No easy shaft of grace this,

> but the cumulative murmuring of the numberless wounds he has dressed,

> the incisions he has made, all the sores and ulcers and cavities he

> has touched in order to heal. In the beginning it is barely audible,

> a whisper, as from many mouths. Slowly it gathers, rising from the

> streaming flesh until, at last, it is pure calling-an exclusive

> sound, like the cry of certain solitary birds-telling that out of the

> resonance between the sick man and the one that tends him there may

> spring that profound courtesy that the religious call love. "

> I have often in the last week or so dwelled on the words that some

> friends of mine, that i have been lucky to meet in person and speak

> with on the phone with, from this list, have told me.

> They are that just for today, I do not need to forgive Ren, Just for

> today I do not.

> The other person talked of praying for someone that she hated, that

> she had begun that exercise with no integrity to it, however in the

> space of several months found forgiveness as she prayed for that

> person's wellbeing. I am not there yet.

> I can not begin to try and express the pain I am in. It does not seem

> to have an end. I carry on in my daily activities as best I can, I

> often appear to be engaged with others, whether in work, or family or

> with friends, yet I am not there, not all of me. I laugh, I talk, I

> come up with witty retorts, I attempt to focus on my studies however

> my concentration is seemingly blown. I am not present to anyone or

> thing, not really.

> I cry, at all times of the day and night, I am tormented by

> unanswered questions, inconsistancies, like a radiologist's report

> that states I have a jejunal connection, not an ileal, at my stomach

> pouch. By part of an op note that talks about an end to side

> duodenoenterostomy being performed, something that would have been

> impossible once my pylorus and duodenal remnant had been excised, yet

> Ren goes on like the DS was performed. Even her surgical notes in my

> chart consistantly state DS/BPD as the surgical procedure. It is such

> things that wake me most nights, to lie in the darkness staring out

> the sometimes moonlit window.

> " Exceptional patients want to know every detail of their x-ray

> reports. They want to know what every number in their lab test means.

> A doctor that harnesses that intense self concern, instead of

> rejecting it and being to busy, dramitically improves the patient's

> chances. "

> " Physicians must realize that the patients they consider difficult or

> uncooperative are those most likely to get well. Psychologist Leonard

> Derogatis, in a study of 35 women with metastatic breast cancer,

> found that the long term survivors had poor relationships with their

> physicians-as judged by the physicians. They asked a lot of questions

> and expressed their emotions freely. Likewise, National Cancer

> Institute psychologist levy has shown that seriously ill

> breast cancer patients who expressed high levels of depression

> anxiety, and hostility survived longer than those who showed little

> distress. Levy and other researchers have alos found that " bad "

> aggressive patients tend ot have more killewr T-cells, white cells

> that seek out and destroy cancer cells, than docile " good " patients. "

> Love, Medicine and Miracles, Bernie Siegal M.D.

> " A new philosophy, a way of life, is not given for nothing. It has to

> be paid dearly for and acquired with much patience and great

> effort " " Fydor Dostoyevsky "

> " A surgeon is responsible for informing a patient about risks,

> benefits and possible complications of a proposed surgical procedure.

> Failure to provide full disclosure of the risks of a procedure and

> alternative modes of therapy constitutes negligence. A surgeon is

> liable for misrepresentation, whether by affirmative statement or by

> nondisclosure. "

> " Each patient is entitled to receive sufficient information from

> which to intelligently base a decision regarding whether or not to

> proceed. The patient has the right to decide what will or will not be

> done to him or her. " Perioperative Nursing, Chap 4, legal and ethical

> issues.

> May you all be " exceptional " patients,

> deb

>

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>

April 19, 2001

Deb

My heart is heavy receiving your message of pain and loss. What a

monumental burden this must be for you now. There is no way to " fix " you

pain, no way to explain away or justify your experience. All I can do is

hear you, listen intently, and keep my heart and mind remain open to you.

Thank you for offering your experience for us to contemplate. For trusting

this list as a place where your story can be told and heard. Your truth is

every bit as valid as truths that are easier to hear. Your pain challenges

and confronts. No doubt this will evoke some to try and refute,

rationalize, minimize or deny your experience.

What is precious *is* that this is your experience, your truth, your pain,

your loss. And that you have offered us the gift of knowing your heart.

Thank you for your words.

in Seattle, listening

----- Original Message -----

> I am responding in regard to this thread.

> I had surgery at NYU with Ren on 1/24/01. I was suppose to have the

> DS/BPD. What she ended up doing was excising my pyloric region,

> including my pylorus, and my duodenal remnant. This surgery that I

April 19, 2001